tmar,
You didn’t mention whether you’ve had any success in using your well-developed PC muscle to halt your ejaculation, whether when having sex with your girlfriend or when on your own. Even if you have a strong PC muscle, you might need to practice stopping your ejaculation more. Practice on your own if necessary. The alcohol helps me as well. But don’t get dependent on this. I agree with Dino, you should practice edging as well. Again, practice on your own if necessary, or with your girlfriend. She sounds great and understanding. Lucky you!
I’ve been practicing a kind of “Taoist” approach to ejaculation control. The Taoists teach that as a man gets older he should not ejaculate as often. This is why they developed ejaculation control techniques; I think they were less interested in pleasing the women. So I started practicing having sex (or masturbating) without having an orgasm every time. This is extremely difficult, even if you are capable of lasting five or ten or fifteen minutes or whatever. Let’s face it: the biological goal of sex is reproduction, which requires ejaculation (or sufficient leaking). So everything in our nature is compelling us to let go. In fact, those with a premature ejaculation “problem” are probably the most fit, in a Darwinian, reproductive sense. In a primitive state, the guy who takes a long time might not ever get there before another male beats him away, or a large animal scares him off. No doubt, this is why so many men have this problem, to some degree or another.
I’ve got to the point where I can last as long as I want when masturbating. With a chick, it’s a bit harder, but as long as I slow down when necessary I can last a very good while. But I’ve reprogrammed myself not to expect to ejaculate every time. What I’ve noticed is that for the first fifteen or twenty minutes of any session, there is an enormous urge to ejaculate. But after that, this urge subsides significantly, at least for a while. So practice, practice, practice—again, with your own if necessary, or with your girlfriend if she’s cool about it.
There are three additional benefits to not ejaculating every time: One, whereas ejaculating zaps your energy (which is why men famously fall asleep after sex), having sex without ejaculating increases your energy. Again, the Taoists discussed this a lot. I can only compare the experience to having several strong cups of coffee. I’m convinced this raises your testosterone level as well, though I have no evidence of this. I just feel more aggressive. After two or three days of regular sex without ejaculation, I can’t stand it. I become super hyper and aggressive. This is when I know it’s time to bust a nut. Two, you’ll be horny as hell every moment of every day. This is the increased energy thing again. When I’ve had sex without ejaculating, I want to do it again and again and again. Remember, the biological goal is to get that semen in there. We’re just outsmarting mother nature. If I even see an attractive woman, I get an erection. And I have to work very hard not to be distracted by thinking about sex CONSTANTLY. You could literally have sex all day long, if you could find a woman that would go for it. It’s like being a teenager again, even better! Three, when you do ejaculate, the intensity of the orgasm will blow your mind. You can’t have an orgasm that strong if you ejaculate frequently. So it’s definitely worth the wait.
And by the way, I’ve only experienced “blue-balls” once or twice. Hardly at all. Hope this helps.
