My Premature ejaculation and help

Hi, well, a little about myself, I’m 22 started masturbating at 14, I got into a long term relationship at 17 to 19 years of age were I first noticed that I had PE, although in the relationship I worked on it and it got better thanks to to the help of my partner, now 3 years on and off and on relationships I have been more a less not active in the dating seen long term so short term relationships have not worked out well and I’m at home masturbating quicker due to wanting to finish quicker and use of clenching but cheeks and those muslce which is a bad idea if one in the future wants to last longer. I notice that when I’m with a women in the precence before undressing and seeing each other naked for the first time I get alot of anxiety and breathe alot quicker.

I have read alot on many websites on what to do about PE, however I do not really want to take pills unless it’s completely and utterly neccessary, I’m confused on how to do kegel exercises. I also am not entirely sure on what it the best solution long term as I am willing to work hard to try and get this to work.

And anyone with this sorta problem who has resolved it I would really appreciate to hear from you guys as this is confusing as to whether or not what works in the long term to prolong sex and control it ideally.

Regards

P. Jack

Well pjack, first of all, try to use a bit more punctuation in your posts.

And your problem - first stop, search up on dick control:a primer thread by cheeva.

First off, what Chicken said:

Dick Control: A Primer

Maybe read this first:

Edging: Enhance Your Orgasm

This book below is amazing — this is where I learned control — it is worth 10000 times the $10.00 price:

ESO: How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of Extended Sexual Orgasm
by Alan P. Brauer (Author), Donna J. Brauer (Author)

http://www.amaz … /dp/0446677620/

Seriously, that book changed my life…GET IT. It is easy to read, the exercises are really clear, and you will learn to last as long as you’d like. Plus you will be amazed at how much more pleasure you will feel. And how much more pleasure you will give your partner.

The best thing you can do is train…. either by yourself, but preferably with a partener (sex-partener, that is). Try to last longer than 30min (you can do it in steps - 5min, 10min, etc)

For me this is what worked best (all the “exercises” and speciat techniques didn’t help at all).

Miron — that’s basically how the ESO book is set up. Training by yourself, then training with a sex partner. She learns some tricks too on her own.

The starting “exercises” are basically edging masturbation designed to help you understand the signs of the “Point Of No Return” and to learn how much pleasure you can get out delaying ejaculation.

There is a lot of good stuff in it…for example, just little stuff like a stroke that helps you get a firm erection really quickly.

For somebody who has no idea where to start (like I was when I got the book) it is really terrific. Certainly worth $10.00.

For what it has worth, I have read somewhere that once you can go 20 minutes by yourself, you can go as long as you want with intercourse. I think that is about right.

sta-kool

would you recommend it for someone who has researched and read up quite a bit, or just for someone who is just starting out and has no idea where to start? I mean, if I read it, is it going to be mostly stuff I already know?

Also, how much of it is individual, and with a partner?

Ivan — I will dig it out later today and go thru it and let you know. Especially about the self vs with partner.

My recollection is that it gets “advanced” — it is just that the writing is so good that it is really easy to understand.

Mine is an older edition so it may be a little different.

Thanks, seems interesting, but in the back of the mind, seems like stuff I know or should know, and just need to practice.

Ivan: I can’t find it! I hid it last time my niece and nephew were visiting for a few days. Obviously I hid it too well. Oh well good excuse to order the new edition and get my wife to go thru it with me!

My recollection is that "exercises" for her, for him, for together are divided about equally.

I am also realizing that it is based on the taoist approach to sexuality — but they don’t hit you over the head with it.

What made me remember is that I am kinda doing a "refresher course" with this book:

The Multi-Orgasmic Man: The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know
by Mantak Chia,Douglas Abrams

http://www.amaz … /dp/0062513362/

They reference the ESO book and the authors quite a bit.

(By the way I like this book so far.)

Damn you bastard, I ended up buying 3 books, I never read, lol.

http://www.amaz … /dp/0060538260/
http://www.amaz … /dp/0062516140/
http://www.amaz … /dp/0976521903/

WOW — excellent! DAMN YOU TOO — I may have to pick those up when I order my new copy of “ESO”.

pjack — this is one of the reasons Thunder’s Place is so great.

I’ve had this book for years, and you’re right. It’s a must have.

http://www.amaz … /dp/B000052XJS/

This stuff works.

Thanks for all your help guys, ill give the book ago and see what I can learn from it

Hi pjack.
The ESO book is a must for anyone who wants to learn tantra type techniques but written by a doctor and a psychotherapist. Getting over P.E. is easy if you are willing to put in the “work” - the work being mostly in the form of longer and longer wank sessions. You already give a clue to your problem when you state that you clench your cheeks etc. in order to finish quickly.

You need to ask yourself: why do I want to finish quickly?

When you have addressed your state of mind in this area, the “light will come on”.

As, I have said elsewhere on this site, lasting longer is all about re-wiring your brain, so that ejaculation is not the goal of sex. Sex should be the goal of sex. Once ejaculation occurs, sex usually ends. But surely the pleasure of the ride, which can last from 1/2 hour to 2 hours is a better goal.

I am at the other end of the spectrum to you. I deliberately don’t cum during sex, except once every 10-20 fucks (approx one orgasm per month). I am not recommending this technique to anyone else (it may cause prostate congestion, and other problems), but for me it has worked out well. Every thrust of every fuck feels like magic. It took dedication to achieve this, but I could never go back “normal” sex now!

What I am recommending is focusing on the pleasure of thrusting itself, or if you are doing it solo, the pleasure of playing with your self. One thing that can help spin it out is to hold your dick lower down when you are very aroused, and keep away from the tip - it is tip stimulation that most easily triggers orgasm.

Let us know how it goes.