Need some serious advice please ED related

Hey guys! First of all let me say thanks for taking a moment to click my post and see whats up..

Ok.. Here we go.(this post will have a lot of free association.)

I am 26 yo 6’4 200 lb I am a little over 6 inches and I’m about a silver dollar thick.. I don’t have my official measurements.. I do basic PE and pump as well but not often.

I don’t smoke cigs but I do some marijuana (legally of course) quite often. I exercise regularly and I eat pretty healthy. No red meat, balanced carbs, I drink at least 1 gallon of water a day and I don’t drink often.

I consider myself a healthy person for the most part. So recently I have been having some serious ED issues. I want think its a mental thing because I am getting over serious relationship I just got out of and normally look at woman different, as in they can’t compare to my ex etc.. I have been with a few girls and with every single one I experience they same issue. I have ZERO erection.. I can’t get hard at all.. I try everything.. Even risky stuff like going raw because maybe its the “condom” but its me. :(

I have had some success but its always the second time ( if I even get one ) but its never fully there like it needs to be.. Its not important but to put it in perspective I’ve had some crazy and alluring situations occur of women I personally consider beautiful but for some reason its hard to have sex.

I believe I have Porn ED.. I masturbate alot. I can’t lie.. I am about 1 - 3 times a day but I used to be 4-5.. It was pretty bad. However I could get full erections.. And have intense orgasms. I knew it was an issue tho so I started to slow down.. I did it so much because I was lonely and did wanna be embarrassed anymore by getting a girl to bed and not closing the deal..

So recently.. I met this girl and she have brought my spirits up to say the least. Its like a dream come true.. She’s is my IDEAL chick.. She is making be forget my ex and feel strong feelings of compassion again.. Well after about 3 months it was time for intimacy.. I purposely took my time because I wanted to build a connection so I could feel comfortable and not have any ED issues. I also didnt watch porn, smoke or masturbate for about a week and a half.. So she comes to see me one weekend. I knew I was going to try to take it to the next level.. And we have a WONDERFUL day. I mean everything was perfect.. We basically fell in love.

At that point my confident was very high.. We get back to the room and start the “dance” per say.. And I knew immediately I wasn’t going to make it. I was trying to just focus and be calm and kiss her and touch her body.. She even gave me head.. Twice and nothing.. I was so embarrassed I was ready to just make something up and call it off.. HOWEVER she didnt even bring attn to it and still made me feel like a man and I love her for that! So I made sure I made her feel good in other ways.. That sufficed.

I want to make love to this woman and I’m a little worried about my unit.. I feel like next time will be different but I want to make sure. She went on a family trip for 3 weeks or so.. So I have some time to try to figure this out before round 2. She is telling me all these things she wants to do to me and I gotta “man up”.

I was thinking I need a detox or something.. I’m sure the smoking is affecting me on some levels.

So heres where I need help..

A) Do you have any experience with these issues and how did you fix it or at least “deal” with it..

B) What pill or supp do you guys suggest? I am thinking viagra but I don’t know..

C) Do you suggest I see a doctor? If so but what kind.. Urologist? Psychologist?

Thanks again!

It’s more than likely just in your head. Relax and for get about your dick and just enjoy the time with your woman. I have never had trouble in that area as far as no erection at all but now that I am nearing 50 I do seem to not be as solid as quickly as I used to and if I start worrying about it it really affects me. Give yourself a break and relax. Just enjoy and get rid of the mental pressure. If that doesn’t work never hesitate to visit a doctor and be reassured it is nothing physical.

I’m just posting this as a marker so I remember this post. I got chronic health problems and my eyes are sore so ill read over your post in full tomorrow and see if I can help cause I know a bit about health without the doctors arrogence. At least your healthy brother thats something I wouldn’t take for granted

1) No porn at all - watch this video about porn induced ED: YouTube

2) Cut down on masturbation. Your over stimulating the same nueral pathways as porn does.

3) Buy some AAKG powder from a vitamin store and take the max dose about 1 hour before sex. Has the same effect as a small dose of viagra.

Whats AAKG powder?

An amino acid that helps with blood flow and is a precursor of Nitric Oxide, which body needs for erections. AAKG is naturally occurring in red meat.

L-Arginine Alpha-Ketoglutarate Powder
Herbs & Botanicals - Body Systems, Organs & Glands - Liver Health - Milk Thistle - Vitacost

Supplement Guide: AAKG
http://www.mens fitness.com/nut … ment-guide-aakg

"What it’ll do for you: Arginine Alpha-ketoglutarate is used to treat kidney disease, intestinal and stomach disorders, liver problems and cataracts. It is also used to increase sexual energy, and for the prevention and treatment of erectile dysfunction disorder and sterility in men."

- Drop the porn and see if that helps. Please note your libido will COMPLETELY CRASH for two or three weeks as you detox.
- Stop smoking and start doing cardio if you aren’t already.
- The AAKG idea is a good one. Link above is the brand I use, good quality, reasonable cost.

As to the Doctor stuff: Your regular doc can prescribe ED meds if it turns out you need them. But it is probably all in your head.

Another vote for performance anxiety. You are so worried about your performance and pleasing her that you neglect your own pleasure.

Thunders member Yataghan50 used to have an excellent blog about treating retarded ejaculation. That is not an issue for you, but he’s got a good section dealing with Performance Anxiety

It is not on the internet any more, but I saved the section on Performance Anxiety:

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The next issue is performance anxiety. I always had issues with being ‘the best’. I’d rather avoid sex than be known as someone who was sexually incompetent. This was a vicious cycle, because going through a phase of sexual incompetence is a necessary step in becoming sexually confident.

At 17, when I tried to have sex for the first time I didn’t actually lose my virginity - I was so nervous I didn’t erect. I was humiliated. I didn’t try again until I was 18. At this point, I was so focused on pleasing the woman, and not letting myself down, my own pleasure became completely irrelevant. I didn’t have sex for pleasure, but for experience. Just so I didn’t feel like a chump. I found that the motions were enough to keep me erect, but never did I feel close to orgasm, never did I enter that state of mind. In fact, since I was so wrapped up in my own performance and had underlying anxiety, there was no way I could reach orgasm in a mutual sexual situation - even with my own hand.

Since learning to cum from the fleshlight, and subsequently with women I now go into sex with orgasm in mind…as any normal person would :) . I’m selfish. I don’t mind if I don’t conform to the unrealistic standards I set for myself. I just do whatever feels good. While I had a very strong ego before, and would worry about messing up, now I just aim for pleasure. Which leads on to the next point…

Lack of arousal. This is a tough one. During sex, the motion was enough, even thought it felt awkward, to keep me erect. The penis, however remained numb. This is where a change in attitude comes in. When I’m with a girl, I’m generally thinking about what feels good for me. I don’t mind if massaging her ass during making out may seem poor form. I don’t care if stroking my own penis may seem poor form. It gets me aroused, so I do it. You have to be selfish, simple as that….ad you have to try and get to that ‘false point of no return’

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Wow guys! I really appreciate the replies thus far.

I few suggestions hit close to home. Especially yours Sta-Cool! I’m sure PA has something to do with my ED.. Its almost like she is too fine lol.. Seriously this is the woman of my dreams and I think that initial “shock” of even being in an intimate situation with her contributed.. She also told me her ex had a mega rod and that somewhat is affecting me too since I consider myself avg or slightly above.. My ex used to tell me I was big for her and it was perfect every time and mentally I was comfortable..

Sigh this is frustrating.. I want to cry sometimes because I feel lost.. So many different thoughts cloud my mind when these things happen like, “am I gay” or “she isnt going to care about me now” and Its self induced but its hard to quiet those voices..

So I ask.. Do you guys do any form of meditation or something to clear your thoughts and focus so you “manifest” the reality you want to exist in.. One with a hard cock.. I’ve even started listening to hypnosis..

Worst case scenario I was gonna get cavaject but thats crazy and I won’t even really have a chance to “use it” unless I get the mood going then stop and shoot up.. And thats already starting off wrong..

Thx again for your help.. I love you all for taking a moment to help me.. Its the principal that matters

I’d lean to porn induced ED. I’m recovering myself. I was definitely addicted to porn, as I always used it and couldn’t stop downloading more even if I wasn’t using it. The high speed internet just makes to too easy. So I deleted everything (close to 750 GB) and put a browser filter on my computer.

I’ve probably suffered from it for 7 years without even knowing it until I found the website yourbrainonporn. Com back in august. I started to detox back early august and am still not 100% normal. When I started dating my current GF, it wouldn’t work at all for the first two months. I couldn’t even get it up when she was trying to give me oral, but lately I’m having no problem there. It has been a whole lot better the past month and a half, let me tell you! :) I have slipped up and viewed porn about 3 times in that period and some youtube videos probably a dozen times or more. This has probably slowed down my recovery, but I’m ready to get back into avoiding the artificial stimulation 100%, no slacking. I hope this helps!

Way too early to be thinking about injectible ED meds. Those are for men who viagra etc. doesnt work for.

Have you had a good talk with this new girl? I think if you come clean with her about the performance anxiety and relate it to getting over your bad breakup, it could be very positive. She is probably thinking that she doesn’t turn you on enough, so she is feeling bad. Clearing the air might be enough to relax you both.

On the “megarod” thing.

First things first, most women are not that great at guesstimating penis size. There’s several long threads on this around here, and plenty of guys who are around 7” whose girlfriends say they are 9”s. So dont get hung up on that at all.

Secondly, Read this blogpost from Daniel Rose, the author of The Sex God Method. The gist of his book is that being a great lover that women want to come back to is mostly about ATTITUDE and getting into a women’s head.

Maybe this post will help put the alleged “megarod” in perspective for you:

Does Size Matter?

Does size matter? Yes and no, but mostly no.

There’s myths out there that larger cocks provide better physical stimulation (”hit spots that a smaller dick can’t). This simply isn’t true.

Think about the vibrators and dildos that are sold for women to masturbate with. The vast majority of dildos that are sold are between five and six inches, with proportional girth — the size of an average penis. The twelve inch monster cocks are relegated to the joke section.

You can see then, that a bigger dick doesn’t provide any extra physical stimulation. Otherwise, women would choose larger sized sex toys.

<SNIP>

So then, why is penis size such a frequent insecurity among men? The reason is that it is a vicious cycle among guys who don’t get laid very much. Their only sexual outlet is internet porn, which almost always features guys with freakishly large cocks. Seeing that size is the measure of your worth in the porn world, they begin to think that size is the measure of your worth in the real world too. This causes them to become insecure about their “merely” average sized penis.

When they do have sex with a girl, their insecurities ruin their Immersion. That is, they start to think and worry in bed, instead of just enjoying the experience and being in the moment. This makes them perform poorly in bed.

But, they don’t recognize that the reason why they are performing poorly is because of their insecurities caused by this limiting belief. Instead, they take their sexual failure as evidence that their beliefs about penis size are true.

They then go back and masturbate to porn that stars guys with even bigger dicks, and the vicious cycle continues.

<MORE AT LINK>

Hello im 29 and have had the ED issues for years myself. I found a bunch of temporary solutions, but they were temporary:

Herbs & niacin- the body develops a tolerance quickly if you use them more than once per week

Antidepressants - made me a sexual champ for nearly a year but I had to keep upping my doses and would have dreams so vivid I would jolt violently out of my sleep. Had to quit them for fear of hurting my partner

In between using these methods I experienced extreme sexual successes & failures…i actually went from making my ex fall in love over the sex to her cheating & leaving me over sex.

So I did find something that seems to work very well, but I admit I havent actually used it with sex as I am on a break from women right now. But my erections are better than they have ever been on a solo basis.

Get a nutribullet juice extractor (or other brand) and put some oatmeal, ice, & water in there. Oatmeal is one of the highest niacin containing foods, and you will not develop a tolerance to it. The machine extracts extreme amounts of it. Let the extractor blend it to pure liquid and drink 2 hours before u need your erection.

Try it solo first. It is amazing.

Serious, every time I read this I got a little blue, guys don’t bring this subject to your woman, and if she brings, crush her ego with something about your ex.

Remember womans have pretty shallow and thin ego.

Off Topic

BTW sta-kool this book it’s great and it’s working! It works, I was so astonished. I have been a great lover for my woman and gave her a lot of orgasms (even make her squirt with her doing oral sex for me, crazy I know) but know I am entering in her mind and make her feel more even intense orgasms.

Anyway! Great book.

Hey bro I’m in the same boat as you man, just keep trucking and lay off the porn. I thought I was gay at one point too. I’m like there’s no way. Then I started thinking maybe I am and the cycle repeated itself. I had trouble getting into a serious relationship with women. Well anyway I’m finally recovering, though sometimes I might break down once every couple of weeks but I know this is just part of the process and try not to beat yourself up for it. Seriously use a porn blocker. I use OPENDNS and some internet filters like trend security to block it from tablets and such. Men are visual by nature so what we see we dominate and compete for. Think 90 day detox from all tits and visually enchanting crap on the internet that may provoke your mind into that artificial imaginary stimulation. Hopefully when you are about to get it on, try and pop a cialis or viagra just in case, so you are comfortable with her once you lay the pipe in. But in all regards, LAY OFF THE PORN. 90 days bro. Good luck. You owe it to yourself and your manhood.

I havent read past your first post, but im 21 and have had many times 0% erection, its also surprisingly easy to get viagra, and it works an absolute treat and boosts my confidence way over board until i somehow get comfortable and attached to the girl and then sex comes naturally….

thats the way i seem to do things..

Im currently 31 days into my porn quit..

NB