An introduction

I found there isn’t a way to start an introduction without it sounding kind of cheesy. So.. Hi.

I’ve been lurking around Thunders for almost a year now, occasionally posting, but overall just too embarrassed or afraid to post anything more. But today things are different because I’ve decided to change things about myself (other than my penis). So in a quick overview I’ll be talking about myself and why I’m here and what I hope to accomplish.

First things first, I’m 19 years old born in April 1986. I’ve always been the runt I’m 5 foot 9 and I’m 110 pounds I look about 16 and I’m just going through the phase of puberty where you get facial hair and gain muscle and widen out.

I found thunders by accident I was looking for a user name and password to a pay site and I found thunders. Which was pretty lucky and I’m very happy I found it. The people here are so accepting and really helpful, it’s something I don’t often see from men because of my size and the fact I look quite feminine and childish. So I was lurking just to make sure and now I feel like I can dump everything on you guys (and girls).

I was always alittle worried I was too small because of porn, I mean seriously some of those guys are huge and I was really afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough. Then I found out the average was 6 inches so I found a ruler and measured I found I was about average and then I didn’t worry. It wasn’t until I have my first sexual encounter with someone that I really questioned. I was 17 and scared I was shaking terribly.. Then I got into a relationship with this person and I asked the question that you should never ask “so how am I compared to your ex’s?” I was really good friends with one of the ex’s and didn’t’ know the other. The one I was friends with was always boasting about how big he is and how he’s bigger than most of the town we lived in and turns out to be true, and the other ex was abit bigger than 8 inches.. And barley being average just hurt my pride abit but I got over it because my significant other told me that I was perfect and that size doesn’t matter..

Then, the cheating began. My SO cheated on my for over a year of the relationship, on and off, with these people and when I asked why I was told “Because I had this image of a perfect guy in my head and you don’t have the body or.. Other things to measure up to it” Yes.. I dated a size queen and my self image was broken because I believed it was love so I stayed with my SO
And they stayed with me for some reason.. Even though I was at the point where I wanted to kill myself.

"You’re just not good enough” “you’re not too small you’re just not big enough” “I miss the feeling of something big and heavy in my mouth and hands” “Can I just be with him one more time? You can handle that even if you have to cut yourself or whatever”

At prom we danced and everything felt really good and perfect.. But I was still alittle unsure because SO was acting kinda.. Weird. So doing the only thing I could to find the truth I read their chat logs and found everything I needed to find. And when I saw them I lost it and Freaked out. I was swearing (which is something I don’t do) and SO fell to the floor and started crying. I told them how they ruined everything about me and they were a terrible person that didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as I did etc etc..

SO agreed to change and they did but things still get hard sometimes.. I still feel really small and helpless sometimes and mirrors are a difficulty because I’ve been told how I’m not good enough. But Thanks to pe I’ve gained nearly an inch and I’ve just recently been starting PE again.

And that’s why I’m here: To, hopefully, improve how I see myself and feel good about who I am.

Thanks for reading through all this (if you did)

~Kinter

Hey, welcome Kinter. Nineteen, wow I wish! All those endless possibilities in the future (spoken like a true 48-yr old, I.e fossil to you!).

Hope it works out for you, despite being an entirely self-selecting audience in here, from what I’ve read so far it seems like a Good Place To Be. Enjoy life whatever it contains and never hold on to hurt from the past, it’s a surefire way of getting burned yourself.

chr$K

Kinter,

Intereseting story. I guess the most important thing is that you realised you had a self image problem, and after a year here you must realise that it’s nothing to do with the size of your dick.

Why hopefully, btw? A year with no gains??

:D Welcome right back at you! 48 isn’t a fossil at all! Thunders is a nice place, A very nice group of people. Thanks for being my first reply and for the advice, I have learned to move forward and really to appreciate the good things in life even if they are small.

Memento: no I’ve had gains, and I have realised that my image problem has nothing to do with my penis but I just don’t know how to fix it.

Kinter,

Do yourself a favor and go read the adventures of Ziggyman here on this site ( search for his threads).

Lots of good advice has been given to him about love and love lost. You will probably pick up some good things out of it.

Good luck!

Thanks sparkyx I’ll be certain to do so

Kinter, it all starts with a different outlook on life. Shit happens, Life’s a bitch, just live it up. There was another guy at Thunder’s who had gained a big dick but suffered from self image problems. Phreakk was his SN. I haven’t seen him post recently, but I attribute that to him taking control of his life. It was all in his head regarding his failures with females. Phreakk if your reading this, how’s it going? Btw, what are your stats?

Wow man that is a heartwrenching story. It’s not easy when someone you care about cheats on you. Especially for reasons such as that. Is it my understanding that you are still with the girl? In my past experiences it is harder to let go when a girl cheats on you. Even though you hate her she has developed a mind control over you that keeps you from moving on.anyway good luck with PE.

Kinter,

If you read through some of my other posts you will see that I am a happily married guy, and I firmly believe in loyalty and fidelity. So I am not just being thoughtless when I tell you this:

Kick that bitch to the curb!

You are young, there are a lot of girls out there. You say yourself you have self image problems, and it sounds to me like you have convinced yourself that you are in love with the first girl to give you some attention. She has treated you like crap. Dump her. Work on your self image for a while, and when you have developed physically a bit more, and matured and have more confidence, someone better will come along.

Good Luck and welcome to Thunder’s. Keep us posted on how things are going.

Couldn’t have said it any better!

A short word of advice here young man…people can only abuse you as much as you let them.

The first shot…blame them, every shot after that is YOUR choice for being a voluntary punching bag.

Oh yeah, women lose all respect for men they can walk all over! (read…turn you into their girlfriend).

Kinter - Vancouver BC, that’s awesome. Maybe we live on the same street?

1st off 1986 sounds like just a few years ago. I’m 31 (1974) - born in the 70s. Kind of Cool. I had a difficult time when I was 19. Fell for a girl pretty hard. My 1st real ‘Love’. When I look back on it I realize how much wasted time and effort it all was because I was way too serious. I took everything too serious. She went off to school and we never talked again (long story). My point is, you have to move past hate, put that enery into working out maybe, working on your image etc.. Finding the meaning of life, the journey for me started right around that age. My purpose etc.. Could not be found in women. They could not tell me who I was as a man, how to grow, how to mature etc..

Kick her to the curb - do it in love (corney I know). Don’t waste your energy on her. Don’t kill yourself either, not sure what can be gained there.

Maybe 1 day I’ll have the guts for a 1st post like that - it was awesome.

110 pounds? Go get a burger or something before you blow away.

I agree completely!!! You don’t deserve to be treated that way, you deserve much better. There are so many decent women out there, you are still young, I’m the fossil around here :) . Keep looking, don’t be in a hurry and when its right, you will know it.

Work on the self esteem, talk to someone who is trained to help. I’ll just bet that you are a smart young man who can grab the world by the tail and spin it around a few times, or at least think you can ;) . First and foremost, believe in yourself, believe in the possibilities of what life holds in store for you and then go grab it. But the first step is to believe in yourself and what you can do and also what you can’t. Getting a bigger penis is one of the things you can do, build your body up to be lean and buff. You cannot change the SO’s opinion, nor can you change her behavior, only yours. Oh, and porn, yeeesh, they use special camera angles to make those guys look huge. Don’t compare yourself to them. For that fact, don’t compare yourself to anyone but you, as no one is like you. We are all one of a kind, short, tall, skinny, fat, big, medium, small (boobs too ya know). We women have many of the same types of complaints that men do. I for one wish I was oh say 5 inches taller than I am, that would make me 5’5”, and I could reach the second shelf of my cabinets without standing on a stool. And as a member of the ‘gentler’ sex (don’t listen to the guys here, when it comes to me being gentle) I can say that some of my gender are real bitches, mean, cruel and heartless. But that isn’t all of us. Nor are all men, slobs, jerks, assholes, out to get all the pussy they can, etc… Some of the male gender are wonderful people, I happen to be married to one of them, and we have our problems.

You are in a wonderful place here in Thunderville. We support each other, cry and laugh together, and yes, sometimes argue with each other. And as long as it stays a nice argument, the mods let the members debate. We are here for each other. We can listen and give advice, you have the choice of whether or not to accept that advice. But we do offer it out of kindness and concern. You won’t find a better group of people than what we have right here.

Nice responses, all. I’m sure your advice will still apply, but something tells me Kinter’s significant other isn’t of the female persuasion. :)

:rainbow: Welcome to the posting side Kinter! :rainbow:

Welcome Kinter! You seem to have a new (and great) outlook on life. I’m glad that you’ve decided to start posting more often, I can already tell you’ll be a nice addition.

Don’t worry about the girl, as there will be plenty of them later on down the road. My only advice is to learn from the experience and never tolerate anyone to treat you like that ever again.

Have you picked up a routine yet?