Are we there yet?

So, you get to this forum. You read a few threads (skipping the START HERE thread - too useful), download a few videos, and settle on an advanced routine full of Horse440’s, 100% erect jelqing and V-stretches. You buy an electronic pump with 25 massage settings, 2 different hangers and the most expensive ADS device you can find.

The Newbie Routine is just there for suckers, right? It’s for people who are basically incapable of knowing their limits, but you know them all too well. The more money you throw at this, the less time you need to spend and the faster you will grow, right? Works for everything else, better cars cost more, better anything costs more money.

Anyway about 3 weeks into your advanced routine, you’re going through the instruction manual for your pump while hanging 60lb. You take the hanger off and your dick is numb, then you notice the huge bruise type things on your dick and think they must have been caused by your girth session the previous night. You start to get worried and so you log on to the forum and post a thread explaining the current condition of your dick.

Someone suggests taking 2 months off to allow it all to heal. At this stage you’ve gained 1/8” in length but during the 2 months you take off it disappears. So you’re three months in and have no gains. What’s even more annoying is some guy just posted that he’s gained 1” in length and 1/2” in girth from the Newbie Routine over the past 2 months.

Why do we recommend the Newbie Routine here? Why does it build up over a period of weeks? It’s simple really, when you start PE your penis is incapable of withstanding the stresses of advances exercises: it’s not adapted. Within the first 2 months of PE, your penis will change dramatically: it will gain vein capacity, it will gain the strength to withstand the advanced exercises . We don’t recommend it to cheat you out of early quick gains.

Penis enlargement is a risky business. To be truly effective you need to surf the border between sensible and insane PE, hopefully without skipping over the line into injury too often. It’s easy to think you know your dick when you start PE but you don’t know how much effort is required to burst a vein when you start out. There is a lot more to learn than you think.

If you buy devices right away, you’ll probably buy the wrong device, you may not even need any devices - a lot of people gain a lot of inches with only their hands.

Nice post mem!!

If at first you don’t succeed, read the instructions. Great reminder, and NEEDS to get said.

The quickest SHORTCUT to GAINS with the fewest setbacks: the NEWBIE ROUTINE! Shhhhhh! Don’t tell anybody about it!

The newbie routine is wicked and dangerous!!

Thanks for the advice, I know what you mean. LOL It’s hard not to go all out when you get started. We see all of these great results and want that right now. I guess patience is a virtue in just about everything. LOL I think I started a little strong, but I’m pulling back now. I haven’t bought anything, nor do I plan to. At least not now, I don’t know nearly enough about this to waste any money. Take care.

And he speaks the truth… I was to scared to do more than what at my time was similar to the newbie routine but I had found somewhere else. I had read so much about people becoming impotent and such from PE and having a “broke dick” of course that’s mostly B.S. but at the time it was scary. I find it rather hard to sympathize with those that jump in too hard too early and injure themselves. “Never test the depth of water with both feet” this strangely seems to apply to most things.

You should sticky the newbie routine BIG AND BOLD so that it`s easier to find as it took me a hell of a lot of looking and reading. I ended up finding it in a post someone made and I clicked that link. I know now that it`s easy to find in the start here but we arn`t always so bright

Great post mem.

I guess this wouldn’t be the appropriate thread to ask advice on my rolling pin incident?

Brutal honesty and keen observation at the best. Good work. :up:

A few too many stupid questions Mem?

Good posts. I think us newbies should realize that many of these veteran posters who have made gains of more than one inch have been here for 1-2 years.

I also like how everyone is so concerned with the well-being of each others dicks. It creates a good vibe and mentality on this forum. There are times when I hear guys starting out with advanced excercises with clear warnings and sometimes I’m just tempted to ignore them and move on.

I am sticking for now with the newbie routine. I only added the girth exercise to it. ( I did PE before but did not really concentrate on it and then I fell lazy.)

So warm up, stretch, wet jelq, girth,warm down

I was thinking of making a thread like this a little while ago, but I think you did a much better job memento. Mine wouldve been more….”blunt” lol

:up:

Just reached the point of absolute rant, sparky.

>You should sticky the newbie routine BIG AND BOLD<

It’s linked from the start here thread. It couldn’t be much bigger and bolder than that thread, without tattooing the URL on peoples forearms, could it?