Edging

Yeah I have the same problem! I will start edging ,I hope it helps because that for sure increases you’re confidence if you cum after 4-5 minutes! Sucks so hard. After how much time of edging you think guys you can stand for a clear 15 minutes?

I would say that it’s different for every person. I also wasn’t doing it primarily for stamina, so I can’t give you a good gauge on a timeframe for that, however I can give you some indicators that you know it is working. The main thing is that you will start “edging” when you are actually having sex. You’ll get close to cumming, and then you’ll be able to naturally slow down enough (and stop if necessary) so that you can continue. This point is also a good time to switch positions, or just slide really deep and start some dirty talk while you cool off for a bit. Other than that, it’s pretty simple; when you can ride the edge for a good 15 minutes, then you should be able to have sex for 15 minutes without cumming.

I’m the self-proclaimed master of non-ejaculation. So you might guess that I would recommend: don’t ejaculate after edging because it defeats the point. And don’t ever ejaculate at all if you can help it. But once a week is just fine! But don’t forget, you should edge soon after you ejaculate so that you begin to build the pressure and robustness back into your dick. But don’t ejaculate when edging because that defeats_the_purpose. When you edge, you are building up your CHI GUNG. When you ejaculate, you are depleting your CHI GUNG. You want a lot of that sexual energy stored up in you. If you start feeling crazy because you have so much energy built up, go ahead and relieve yourself. But you’ll need to edge again soon to repair that deflation… :)

M_E, when you build up this “Chi gung” as you call it, I basically get horny as hell, which would make me ejaculate much faster than if I ejaculated more frequently. Will this go away if I keep practicing edging without ejaculating?

Alex, over years and years of neurotic masturbation, most guys have developed a little bit of a deranged approach to sexuality. First of all, when we were little kids hiding while we jacked off, we did it rapidly and anxiously to avoid being caught. And we finished it as quickly as possible for the same reason! This put a weird spin on our sexuality which probably still affects us today. For one thing, many guys still masturbate rapidly and crazily almost like the goal is to ejaculate. But the goal is actually PLEASURE. Are you jacking off to relieve stress? Or are you doing it to feel good and cultivate your sexual prowess? I do it for the latter.

If you’re addicted to the little burst of sensation that comes with an ejaculation, you’ve got to step out of that for a little while and explore the alternatives. Many guys who know how to control and prevent excessive ejaculation report that they are able to experience non-ejaculatory orgasms that are powerful like what women have. Wow! That’s way better than the little blurb most of us are used to.

But here’s my little theory…

Nitric Oxide is a gas that our body uses. If you take L-Arginine which is the precursor to Nitric Oxide, you will find that your erections come much easier and they are a lot firmer. This is because it increases the levels of NO in your blood. The point here is that NO really makes a big difference. Now, why would a gas contribute to our erections? Maybe because your dick needs to become inflated in order to have sex. And you need pressure in there to ultimately fire out ejaculate fluid.

So you get an erection for the biological purpose of making babies. Your body says that you need to get hard to be able to reach in the woman’s vagina, and to fire away when the time is right. But what happens after you fire the fluid into the woman? Don’t you think your body believes its job is done? I’d say so.

So what does your body do to indicate that it thinks the job is done? Your dick goes limp. And it will hardly go back up. Your body already put its energy into coming up with the best resources it can offer for the job. And your body thinks it has at least several days to build back the “CHI GUNG”. In the wild, you aren’t going to be mating 10 women daily. Maybe one every few days if you’re doing great.

So that’s the devastating reality about ejaculating. If you ejaculate several times daily like a lot of men actually do, you may as well be beating your dick with a jackhammer. But if you exploit the understanding you now have of how your body works, you send a signal to your brain that you are ready for business by edging. And every time you edge without ejaculating, you build upon what you’ve already done. So if you edge five times without ejaculating, you are going to be superman.

So I think edging builds up that gas in your dick, pumping it up more and more, so that when you need to rely on your dick for a big bang, it’s there!

And aside from all that great news, you can feel great knowing that you are teaching your body to separate stimulation from ejaculation so that you improve your staying power. That is an INCREDIBLE bonus…! That’s basically what can define you as a SEX GOD. Why? Well since I’m on a rant, I’ll go ahead and explain…

The ancient Taoist analogy of men being like fire and women being like water comes into play. Basically, men get turned on very quickly but the flame goes out quick too. Women, on the other hand, take awhile to come to a boil. Do you understand what I am saying? This is important to understand! Most men ejaculate within 20 minutes of having sex, but women require twice that to get their engines running.

Now, what’s a better way of training yourself to be prepared for 45 minutes of sex other than stimulating yourself routinely without ejaculating? And what could work against you more than being in the habit of ejaculating within 15 minutes—when you’re masturbating.

Don’t let that flame go out my friends! And don’t put your effort into keeping it small and diminishing your sexual power.

Back to you, Alex: if you feel horny as hell, you’re really just feeling the sexual energy. Leverage that sexual energy to help you do anything you want with your life. It can help you find beautiful women to make love to. Or it can help you accomplish things you didn’t know were possible for you! Do whatever you want with it. Just try to direct it in a constructive way that will produce results that you are happy about.

Long story short, everyone wants to make something out of their life. Why not build up your sexual energy, the energy that can fuel you and propel you forward, and direct it toward making your life better? Don’t cripple yourself by excessively ejaculating. Every load has like 10,000+ sperms that could potentially turn into a real life kid. Don’t you realize your body puts all its resources into specially crafting that load? Don’t just toss it out like a booger.

Here’s another idea I was just thinking about… In the wild, the idea is to get the job done as quickly as possible so that you increase the chances of procreating. But for us humans, we want to enjoy things. So we’ve got to keep it under control. If ejaculating is a 10, keep it at 6 or so. Keep it nice and cool and collected. Keep the muscles throughout your body nice and relaxed. Don’t even THINK about ejaculating because that’s going to make it more likely to happen. Just enjoy the micro-sensations of every moment. And if you feel unexpectedly like you might burst, take a huge pull of air into your belly. That works against the out-flow of your ejaculation. But again, it’s best to stay away from that 10. Keep it cool.

Ah, I am late to this thread.

Here’s some a good article from Kingpole about edging: Edging 101

I posted some great instruction on HOW TO EDGE from a dead website here: sta-kool - Edging 101

Gonna reproduce it here too, it is a good article:

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There was this great site, https://www.orgasmicedging.com that had an excellent article on the ejaculation process and a terrific description of how to edge, for both men and women. Unfortunately the site vanished. Fortunately I printed it to a PDF one day.

Here are the instructions the author gives:

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HOW TO EDGE

Since emission and ejaculation are two distinctive processes inside the male body, they can be separated with the edging technique. This enables men to have several (half)
orgasms on a row without entering the PERT phase. Separating both requires some practice, but most of all a lot of discipline.

When emission starts, our body wants us to continue stimulation for a few more seconds in order to start the ejaculation trigger.

You’ll need to have the power to say ‘no’ to your own pleasurable feelings, which is not easy at all in the beginning. Most men automatically ejaculate after emission, simply because
they don’t have the power to stop stimulation since it feels too good.

Edging is not difficult at all once you know what the emission phase feels like. Some men can feel the tickling sensation of the fluids moving from the ampulla’s and the seminal vesicles towards the prostate. All men, however, feel that their pelvic muscle (the so-called ‘pee muscle’) contracts during the emission phase. This feels like you need to go to the toilet, but you squeeze your muscles and try not to pee. The muscle is contracted, and pulled upwards. Try to stop peeing when you’re going to the toilet, and you’ll feel the muscle that comes into play. When this muscle contracts, emission begins. This is the key moment in edging. As soon as you feel this muscle clamping down, immediately stop all stimulation. If you were touching your penis, pull away your hands, if you were stimulating your nipples or other body parts, stop doing so. Timing is crucial. If stimulation goes on a second too long, ejaculation will occur.

What you need to do now is to release the tension of the pelvic muscle. Instead of pulling the muscle up as if you are trying to stop peeing, push the muscle down, like when you’re farting or making bowel movements. Try this out first a couple of times without masturbating, while sitting on a chair for instance. The switch has to be done as soon as you feel the muscle tensing.

Remember it won’t be easy; your body will tell you to continue stimulation and will try to contract and pull up your pelvic muscle. You’ll need to do the opposite: stop stimulation and
push out. Continue pushing till you feel the orgasm fade away. This will take about three to five seconds. Don’t stop pushing before the feeling you’re going to ejaculate subsides. Don’t worry if it doesn’t work the first time, just keep on practicing.

Sometimes your muscles in your abdomen will contract once or twice, which may feel like ejaculation is going to start, but eventually these contractions will stop.
While you’re edging, small or large amounts of fluid may run out of your penis. If the fluid is clear and sticky, it’s most probably produced by the Cowper’s glands. If the fluid looks like egg white, it’s accumulated sperm that’s being pushed out.

If you successfully performed the edging technique, you will have felt the beginning of an orgasm, but a full ejaculation did not occur and your penis will stay erect for a while. At this point, you’ll feel a slight pressure inside your abdomen, caused by the sperm ready to be released. This feels like you have to pee, but you can’t. Some men report this as a frustrating feeling, which can last for a day if at the end of a session no full orgasm occurs.

After waiting a short while, you can continue to stimulate your penis. Your might have lost your erection in the mean while, which is normal. The goal is to start masturbating again and to go for a new half orgasm, repeating this process as often as you wish. During every emission phase, more fluid will accumulate inside your prostate. Pressure inside will build up and once you decide to let yourself ejaculate, the force and the amount of semen will be enormous.

You don’t necessarily need to finish your masturbation session with an ejaculation. Some people find it erotic to edge in the morning a few times and go to work with the tension in their genitals, caused by not ejaculating (blue balls). In the BDSM world, edging without ever ejaculating is known as orgasm. denial. Don't edge too frequently without ejaculating,
because it is known to cause infections at the prostate.

ELABORATING THE TECHNIQUE

When you’ve mastered the edging technique, you can even ‘fool’ your body even more with the ‘double- decker’ method. Instead of one orgasm with ejaculation, you can have two full orgasms on top of each other in a few seconds time. The downside of this technique is that after the second orgasm, the PERT phase will start.

In order to have two orgasms in a row, stop stimulation during the emission phase, but don’t push out the pelvic muscle. Just relax and let your body contract the muscle, as if you were having a normal orgasm. If the timing is right, ejaculation will start without you touching your body (a so called handsfree orgasm). Between the third and fourth spurt of semen, continue stimulation of your penis. If you do it right, a second (and final) orgasm will occur on top of the first one and a new (less powerfull) ejaculation phase will start.

Another trick is to continue stimulation during the emission phase, but to limit the stimulation to very, very, very light touch. This enables you to ‘surf’ on the orgasmic wave, going
from a firm stimulation to reach the emission phase to a light stimulation to avoid a full orgasm and so on.

I disagree with that infections thing. Let’s see some evidence! :)

Wow never ejaculate? Do you mean never ejaculate when we masturbate or even we have sex? Let’s say I didn’t have sex for 2 weeks does that mean I shouldn’t ejaculate for 2 weeks?

I was also wondering about another point. Sometimes when I’m edging and I take it too far, there’s a little bit of cum that goes out even while I kegel. Does that mean I failed my edging session?

Personally I don’t ejaculate every time I masturbate and/or edge.

But I do ejaculate several times a week. When I have sex I always ejaculate, partly because my wife really wants me to. (only partly I want to too.)

Hey ME I can vouch for edging cause prostate infections. When I first started edging years ago I would get them routinely like 2x a month. After a while they just stopped occuring though, idk I guess I somehow got used to it

No. See my post about abandoned orgasm.

Hey Mutual, great post, and I agree with 95%!!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the part where women require 40 minutes to reach orgasm is a little far fetched in my opinion, and probably scary to some people who may read it. Of course being able to last 20+ minutes at sex is a huge plus, but if it’s taking more than 20 minutes to get a girl to reach orgasm, I think the problem is somewhere in technique or compatibility. I’ve had a couple of girlfriends who were just unable to orgasm from straight sex, but every other girl I’ve had sex with was reaching orgasm within 3-10 minutes, and if you play your cards right, it’s really easy too get multiples out of some women if you continue what you’re doing when they cum the first time.

I’m sure some men/women would love to continuously have sex for 40+ minutes, but in my case, we’d both be rubbed raw and blistered after that length of time.

Sta kool, thanks for the link. After i have read your post I’m a bit confused I think I’ve been doing it wrong all that time. Here’s what I do:

I masturbate and concentrate about staying relax until I feel I’m about to cum(edging) and then I stop touching myself and kegel to try not to ejaculate. I definitively feel a lot of excitement annd sometimes when I stop touching myself a little bit too late it becomes so hard not to cum that even when I kegel there’s a bit of cum that gets released. Usually if I kegel and there’s no small release then I reach that point where I feel I’m about to cum much faster then when I have a little release so that’s what makes me think that I’m failing my session because sometimes it even goes to the point where I lose a little bit of my erection.

Do i have it all wrong?

Mickey - I wouldn’t worry about any of that!

First off I don’t think there is a such thing as "failure" - if you accidently go over the PONR before you intended, just enjoy it! Not a big deal, you will do better next time.

I have those "spurts" now and again myself, especially when it has been a while since I ejaculated. As that article says:

"While you’re edging, small or large amounts of fluid may run out of your penis. If the fluid is clear and sticky, it’s most probably produced by the Cowper’s glands. If the fluid looks like egg white, it’s accumulated sperm that’s being pushed out."

So that is perfectly normal.

Also do not worry about the slight loss of erection.

Hope this helps

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For what it is worth, this article might help with getting the emission stage vs the ejaculation stage firmer in your mind: Ejaculation Process