Edging

I’m reading about edging to cure premature ejaculation. My question is about when to ejaculate? If I want to do an edging session of 30 minutes for example does that mean at the end of that 30 minutes I should blow up or I finish the session without ejaculating at all?

Thank you

Your choice; you can do either. It’s better not to ejaculate until a few hours after your edging session though, if you still want to.

Some get a ‘I have to pee’-feeling if they go a bit too far but still manage to hold it in, this feeling won’t go away unless you come.

At least it doesn’t when I get it. But like firegoat said, if that happens wait a few hours and then let go.

It’s just as much about not coming as it is about learning your body that |stimulation != ejaculation|

The others above me already hit the important points, but I thought I’d throw my 2 cents in here because, while I am new to PE, I am very experienced with edging.

The key, as soodana mentioned, is to separate the stimulation/ejaculation link in your mind. The following is all conjecture, based on my personal experience, so take it as you will:

Edging will primarily help with unlocking the connection between stimulation and ejaculation in your mind. The best results will be seen by edging without coming, and keeping the release as far away from recent edging stimulation as possible. This will be very difficult at first, and you may get a “blue balls” feeling if you don’t release. Don’t worry, this definitely goes away with time. I have edged for 2-3 hours, several times a day, over several days, and not felt the slightest hint of blue balls. To avoid blue balls, try the following pattern:

• Begin by edging properly for 30-45 minutes or so, wait a few hours and then release (if you have to).
• Work to extend the time between edging and releasing until it is easy to do at least 6 hours between an edge and a release. This may come quickly, but it may take 2-3 weeks.
• Now add in another edging session between your first one and your release, ideally in a way that puts 2.5 hours minimum before your release.
• Spread the time between the edge sessions and the release to 6 hours again.
• Repeat. You should see gains in the number of edge sessions and the time before release increase exponentially.
• When you’re satisfied with the time between your first edge session and your release, work on edging for longer times. This should come easily, and will help extend your staying power.

One final tip, don’t get hooked on porn. I’m getting off of a porn addiction right now, it’s not fun. (I promise I won’t post that on every thread, but this one is very related.)

Something that has helped me, and of course you’ll need time and privacy to do this.. Every few hours when I need to go to the restroom, I will sit down and edge for 10-15 minutes without ejaculating. I had a pretty bad case of premature ejaculation earlier this year, and doing this has helped me so much. I end up edging 5/6/7 times a day, taking a day or two off for rest of course. When I have time I’ll also do some edging in the shower. In my experience, I definitely recommend holding off on the ejaculations. Save them for every 3-4 days if you can, and if you have the time/money/privacy, invest in one of the Fleshlights!! Those things are golden as far as helping your stamina if you’re experience premature ejaculation while having sex.

Thank you very nuch all of you is all i can say. I had so many questions in my mind but your posts answered all of them. I’m already at a point where I can masturbate 30-45min with servereral edging but it’s really hard for me not to come at the end of the session and that’s my next step for now, trying to end edging sessions without releasing. It doesn’t look easy but I know I will be able to overcome that problem with practice.

You guys suggest to hold off on ejaculating after edging. How long should we masturbate for the post-edging masturbation before ejaculating? It just seems a little weird because we are training to last longer, so are you just saying to edge twice before ejaculating?

That’s a good point. For me, there is a period of time when I first start that I feel relatively uncontrolled, that is, I feel like if I kept going I would cum, even if I was trying not to. This normally lasts about 5 minutes. After that point, I feel much more in control, it’s like my body settles into the activity and my mind is more in command of if I cum or not. If you have a similar experience, I would recommend that you always exceed the uncontrolled state before you release. If you don’t have this feeling, you could use 10 minutes as a decent rule of thumb. It’s not critical that you edge again before ejaculating, because the real training here is not physical endurance but rather training your mind that you will not always orgasm every time you are stimulated, and that training occurs by edging without orgasming.

What I have noticed is that edging unlocks the mental link between stimulation and orgasm, kegels and abandoned/ruined orgasms can unlock the physical link between orgasm and ejaculation, and combining the two allows you to become multi-orgasmic.

I’m still in the experimenting phase and I have some problems applying what I read.

1. I read that I have to get to PONR but evrytime I think about getting to that point I cum because I feel that I always go too far. When I start feeling the pressure coming up I stop touching myself and then I start back when I calm down a bit. I can go on for 30 minutes like this but I’m not sure if I’m doing it right because I’m not sure if I’m really getting to the PONR. Does anyone know what I’m talking about?

2. I don’t understand at what stage to edge. Am I supposed to try to edge as fast as possible so the edging session lasts longer or do I just take my time and masturbate slowly until I edge no matter how long it takes? Do I count the edging session from the moment I start masturbating or only the time between my first edge and the time I stop masturbating?

3. I have also read that I’m supposed to be relax when I do this and that I’m not supposed to flex any muscle but the only way for me to not cum while I edge is to kegel is it wrong? Am I suupposed to be able to control myself when I doing kegels?

Thank you

Oups there’s a mistake in my last question I mean am I supposed to be able to control myself without doing kegels?

1. It’s all about training, if you are fairly new to this then you will go too far, as everybody does (even veterans). If you have been working on edging for a while and this still happens, then try going a few seconds less when you start feeling the pressure of cumming. And yes you are getting to the PONR if you are repeatedly going too far, even above the PONR.

2. People may differ about this, but 30 minutes seem to be the consensus for edging time. Go at the pace that allows you to do 30 minutes without stopping every second, and go faster as your body adapts. Add a few longer sessions here and there, maybe an hour session every 5-10 times depending on how much free time you have.

3. You want to relax and go with the flow, not fight masturbation. It should be pleasurable, so don’t flex your arms or tense up your body. Kegeling is fine, but only when you are at your PONR and want to stop ejaculations. You should NOT be kegeling while you are just regularly masturbating.

Hope that helps.

1. You should try to get closer to the PONR every time you edge. What you’re describing is a very good start, your goal should be to go just a little farther than you did during the previous edging session. Do this by feeling, not by time, since at various times your stimulation and sensitivity will be different. When you feel like you absolutely can’t do anymore without cumming, just let go. One tip - let go on an up stroke. For one thing, if you’re uncut, I have found that releasing on the down stroke still puts enough sensitive pressure on the glands from the foreskin and as a consequence you may cum. Secondly, if you’re ever going to need to do this in practice, you’ll be much better off stopping by sliding out of a pussy than stopping while inside it - the heat, pressure, and her movement can be enough to send you over the edge. Letting go on the up stroke will train your mind to time it all correctly.

2. You can start edging as soon as possible, but more importantly just settle back in it and enjoy it. Start the 30 minutes from when you start masturbating. You don’t have to make edging as clinical as other PE exercises, you can “go with the flow” and just do what you feel - masturbate a little, edge when you want to, slow down and back off for a while, it’s all good.

3. Kegeling is not a problem. In my first post above, I mentioned that edging unlocks the mental link between stimulation and orgasm. Kegeling, IMHO, unlocks the physical link. If you are able to kegel when actually having sex (which I have found much more difficult than kegeling on your own) then you will see benefits immediately from your edging sessions, since you are training the same way. However, if you can’t hold the kegel with the same amount of force and for the same duration while having sex, then you might not see as much benefit from the edging sessions immediately. You will still see results eventually, but they will take longer because your BC muscle will have to get stronger.

Another suggestion - there are tons of edging videos online. I don’t think I’m allowed to post links to other forums which collect porn URLs, but if you search for “tease and denial”, “orgasm denial”, or “edging” you should be able to find some videos which may help you get an idea of what people mean when they say edging. Taylor St. Claire has some of the better stuff.

In my case, I edge to completely remove the PONR and ejaculation from the equation. I started out at 10 minute sessions and once I could continuously edge for 10 minutes without feeling the sensations that build up to the PONR, I increased my time to 15 minutes. The idea (in my opinion) is to be able to go as long as you want without ever reaching the sensations involuntarily… in turn giving you full control of your orgasm. I still have the ability to cum on command, but at the same time, I can keep it under control at higher levels of sensitivity and stimulation.

If you’re having trouble, notice what your body is doing… are you holding a kegel or reverse kegel? Are your pc/bc muscles tense or relaxed? My problem was a lack of relaxation. I actually had to learn to hold a reverse kegel (like I’m pushing out a fart) to make my pc muscles relax. It’s much harder to do during intercourse, but it was almost an overnight cure for me. The more I did it, the more I got used to it until it was pretty much second nature.

The greatest thing that helped me was once I got more control over the situation, my confidence level increased. Anxiety about your sexual performance is your #1 problem. Once you overcome it, you’ll be on the road to full control over your orgasm.

+1 on anxiety. Unfortunately it’s a vicious cycle, and there’s not one silver bullet that works for each guy, but anything you can do to build the initial confidence should also build on itself, as BigDanny described.

That was a lot of help, thanks to all of you. Did anyone one of you suffer from premature ejaculation and healed it by edging and how long did it take to completely get rid of that problem?