My sad story, my PE gains, regains and, I hope, maybe a happy ending in the future

Hi, this is my intro and my reasons for pursuing PE.

In my 48+ years, I have never had any problems with the length of my penis (my Corvette ownership notwithstanding) because, as I was frequently told by women, I was slightly more “girthy” than average.

But it became clear this summer that my marriage was in trouble and that my wife was not satisfied with our love life. After going around and around she finally admitted that the problem she had with our sex was, as she said, “something nobody can do anything about.” Namely, the size of my penis was the issue. She orgasms 1-3 times every time we have sex but, like most modern women, I am not the only man she has been with and apparently, a previous husband had set the penis bar several inches higher than I could clear.

Then, a few weeks later, it all hit the fan when I found out that my wife online seeking a sex-partner, a friend with benefits. In her form of logic, she saw this as possibly helping save the marriage because she could get some occasion sex from somebody on the side. In her mind, she would be sexually satisfied and we could stay together as our relationship was otherwise very good. I was utterly crushed, totally devastated and completely demoralized. It’s one thing to know you’ll never be a porn star, but it is entirely different to hear the woman you love tell you that your penis is too small for her.

I measured myself and found out that my (previously) 6” penis was now under 5”…I had lost well over an inch in length. This “shrinking” happened slowly over many years and while there are many reasons for why this happened, none of them really matter in the final analysis.
So I resolved to work on making my penis larger while my wife and I resolved to make our marriage work again.

I’ve been doing PE since the Beginning of August of this year after reading as much as I could on the subject for a few weeks.

I bought an extender on ebay as well as a vacuum pump and the elastic band stretcher with the vacuum cup that secures over the head of your penis (they don’t last too long—-the cups, not the penis)

I’ve found the extender to be less than useful and use it a lot less than before. The majority of my work is Jelqing, stretching and pumping and other manual exercises.

Though I probably did overdo it a bit from time to time in the beginning I am now doing more advanced routines and seem to have not only regained lost length but added some as well.

I have also lost 25 pounds of the 45 pounds I put on after I quit smoking but my weight and body fat percentage has only gone down slightly since I started PE so my the fatpad on my pubic arch still measures the same 3/8” as my initial measurement when I started. As I lose my remaining fat (I am engaged in a fairly challenging workout program) I expect to gain some useful “visible” length also.

When I started PE on 08/04/2011 my stats were as follows:
Erect length—-4.8”
Erect circumference—-4.4”
This was what had become of my previously 6” long, “girthy” penis.

Today, 105 days later, my stats are as follows:
Erect length—-7.0”
Erect circumference—-5.25”

My flaccid size has also gone from mini-mushroom to WOW. Doesn’t matter that much but the wife has commented on it and noticed that she can see my size increase while I’m wearing pants.

I have notice, however, that erection quality can mean a difference of up to 1” in the erect size which seen surprising to me. I also have more length if I do stretching or jelqing before measuring my erect penis than if I just measuring without stretching or jelqing. This tells me I have not made these gains permanent yet.

I feel I have made good gains/regains. I expect to hit a plateau soon but I’m in this for the long haul so I can plan and work around that.

I will be 49 years old in February and my personal mantra has become “I’m going to give myself an 8” penis for my 50th birthday.

The picture I enclosed is my “stick” that I use to measure my progress. I’ll have it framed when I pass my goals. The arrow at the thick black line at the base on the left of the pictures marks where the top of the fat pad is and the the base of the stick is pressed hard against the pubic bone before measuring.

I hope you got rid of your wife.

Happy gains, and I hope you reach your goal fuck her eyes out for one last time and live her .

would be my plan too, she treated him like piece of dirt.

Some people truly lack tack. Not that I ever really had much myself but I’ve matured with age. I think.

First welcome to the board Starbuck1963. Persistence is the key. You didn’t say how long you were married and I was curious. It does beg one to wonder that if your wife was trolling around on line; that either she has her own issues, or that your marriage may have other issues and that her recent behavior maybe just the tip of the ice berg so to speak.

There’s no shame in a man wanting to increase his size when the evidence that it is possible is in. You need to stop accepting the “blame” for her bad behavior and do some soul searching of your own. A little covert fact finding probably wouldn’t hurt either.

No one commented on those gains yet?
They’re outstanding!

Let’s assume that with perfect erection you would have started at 6”x5”. That’s still a 1”x0.25” gain in about 4 months.
Very, very decent!

Congratulations.

About the wife thingy: I have no fucking clue what I’d do :)

Excellent gains, Starbuck. Keep up the good work at both the gym and at home with the PE.

Good gains brother, horrid behaviour from the wife though. My hope is that you are doing all this for yourself and not just because she needed more and promised you she would stay if you got it.

Find a girl who likes you for who you are. They are rare and unlike the others.

If I may attempt to read into what’s going on here….
It sounds to me like your wife is just starting menopause and blaming you for her inability to orgasm like before, so she justifies an affair and places blame on you instead of taking responcibility for her insecurities. She has been thinking about cheating for a while and now sees it as her only way to get a new thrill.

Based on what I know from my own marriage troubles I’ll warn you that you can not pressure her to avoid cheating if she really wants to, people don’t like to be forced. In fact do not seed or bring it up at all unless you want to keep reminding her of the cheating she wants anyways. However, you can take this time now to pull back, stop chasing after her, and quit begging her. Instead of groveling to her focus on your life and devote more time to the exciting things you have been putting off. You’ll still be there and friendly to her but just cut off the deeper emotional things like pet names, hugs, kisses, and sex for a few weeks. After all the comfort she has had, she will begin to miss it almost immediately. When you scratch a mosquito bite until you had enough, you always miss the sensation don’t you?

I fairly sure you have already told her your thoughts on her plans and gotten into a fight or two, which is both good and bad. Good in that you have a better idea of what she wants when the communication between you two has died, and bad that every little fights hurts the attraction for eachother. Which reminds me, you are but a slippery slope away from those meaningless yet painfull words “I don’t love you anymore”. Those words are thrown around a lot lately and really mean what it sounds like. She really does love you but somewhere along the line she has lost attraction and respect for you. Think of it as you would the qualifications for a warfare pin in the service. You earned her undying love over the years, yet somehow you messed up quite a few times enough that she says enough is enough and now you have to start from a lower level. In this case you must earn her respect #1 and attraction #2. Respect meaning that she looks up to you once again instead of thinking she is better than you and can set the rules of infidelity. Attraction in that you fire the right switches once again which I hate to tell you but you have to almost start from the beginning and woo her all over again.

I really don’t want to see you go through a divorce if this can be resolved with marriage counseling or sex therapy but I can help you with that later on if you would like.

Remember the key rules…
*You cannot push her to avoid infadelity if she wants to.
*You will have to avoid her for a while to build up interest again.
*You have to avoid those annoying habits she hates for the next 3 months.
*You must never believe what she says when she is emotional.
*YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP!

btw awesome gains, keep ‘em up.

My new viewpoint on this, is you live your life doing the things you put off. If she cheated on you, let her go. You will not earn her respect directly. You may regain her interest at a later time, but the blessing in these situations is there is always someone who appreciates you for who you are. Why try to win favour of someone who doesn’t respect you?

I have no clue how old you are djrobins, but common history is very valuable, I believe and starting all over again without trying a bit more is not the right way.

Awesome post TGD!

She orgasms 1-3 times every time you have sex, but you’re not big enough and she goes out to seek a man with larger penis.

Wait, what?

TGD, I’ll preface what I’m going to say by saying I usually think you give really good posts and advice on this kind of stuff.

However, in this situation we’re dealing with a guy that’s almost 50, and presumably has been married for a long time to someone of a comparable age. The stuff you listed is totally PUA type stuff - applicable to young guys trying to get laid or dating women in their 20’s, and in my opinion not applicable to someone in a serious marriage.

If I remember correctly, TGD, you’re going through a divorce or at least a rough point in your marriage, but didn’t you 2 get married very young?

Anyway, to be honest, I don’t know any better, but I do believe that this is serious stuff for Starbuck, and unlike guys in their 20’s it doesn’t always makes sense to just get up and walk away from a relationship when the female is not treating the man like an alpha PUA.

Exactly! You have to let her go, atleast for now and let her miss what she took for granted. So long as you remain faithful to yourself and don’t sell your integridy for a revenge fling in that “You hurt me so I’ll get you back” childish way, you’ll stay in higher graces when it comes to respecting eachother. In a way you will never want to give up on winning her back but at no time should you be actually chasing her and trying to pull her. That will give her all the reason to think that she is better and kill your chances.

I mean let’s face it, the relationship is DOA but that doesn’t mean it can’t be recessitated and healed with trust and understanding again which takes time. What I can tell you from actually going through the divorce process is that you need to really focus on inproving the part of yourself that everyone can see, that doesn’t mean give up on pe but don’t make it the entire focus of your life. Start by waking up early and working out each morning like you keep telling yourself when your pants get too tight. Push harder at work in this time that you won’t be thinking about your wife and really make an effort to distract yourself when you do think about her. Keep your diet clean and keep away from drugs and alcohol, especially if you are easily effected or non-neuro typical (mental disorders). You may even want to sleep in another room for a few weeks while you get your emotions under control. NOW at no time will you be rude or harsh to her but simply ignore her irrational heart and wait a bit to return phone calls and texts.

When you get your emotions under control you will have the perfect opportunity to think back and reevaluate what went wrong in your marriage. You should be able to list atleast 5 or so arguments that killed the attraction or respect for you. When you start talking to her again, I can’t lie it’s hard to start back up again but just focus on keeping things light and positive for a while. You will be essentially attracting her from the very start once again which should feel strange yet very familiar.

If at any time you feel like lashing out or crying just walk away for a few moments until you can calm down and talk about the real issues. Please avoid lashing our if she forces you into a corner, just respectfully tell her you need your space and then go into another room or walk outside. You should be a little distant anyways and have plenty of hobbies. Fighting may make one of you feel good for the time being because of the fight for control and one person attempting to hurt the other, but it will really sever the strength of the relationship even though you may make up and have great sex afterwards. These stressful arguments create triggers in her mind which will unleash at any given time when she is pissed at you again, wether it was calling her fat years ago or leaving the dirty dishes in the sink, it still feels like the same pain to her. It is also important that you practice fighting fair which means not blaming her for the thing you are fighting about, sometimes even taking blame to avoid more friction, and digging down at a stressful time to tell her what you are really mad about. It’s not her fault she broke a tail light, you are upset that she didn’t tell you right away. Then after you have both listed your demands, come to an agreement, and settled down, you both need some time to cool off and forget.

Now if you study a little PUA you will be experienced in the way to change topics fast and create a positive mood. I like to think of it as #1 distract her from the problem, #2 change her outlook with 3 possitive interactions (jokes or stories…), #3 Ask her what she is feeling about the problem, #4 Come to her with an understanding and responsibly attitude, #5 put a healthy plan into action. Now this is a lot to chew on but all you really have to remember is that your positive attitude, higher value frame, and willingness to walk away from people who dissrespect themselves and you will earn you respect over time. If I learned anything from my time in the service it was that people treat you like the character you portrait the most. If you’re a go-getter at work and a pushover at home, you will be treated with respect at work and dissrespected at home. Now is the time to wake up if you will and change yourself a little more every day. Every little change will get noticed later especially if you keep it up over time.

This is not PUA advice at all! I am not advising him to become a deuche bag alpha by any means, but there is a need right now to better himself with some of the character flaws she finds unattractive. It’s usually jealousy, laziness, and dissrespect, etc.

This is advice taken from from just about every divorce prevention book I have read so far. Chasing after her and trying to buy her ove back or crying to her will do nothing for you. And everything I post I have first hand experience with. I may be young but that doesn’t mean I don’t have experince with shit I shouldn’t be dealing with so soon.

Yes I am going through a divorce that started from problems after I was discharged from the Navy for attempting suicide a few times and never diagnosed properly with PTSD, I was missdiagnosed with depression and given a medication that made me irratible and angry all the time. She couldn’t stand the pressure here and left to Cali. Shortly after she left I fell ill with Typhoid fever for a week and faced another close call with death when the antibiotics didn’t take. Then later had to personally kick my dad out of my mom’s house. My uncle I had been waiting to visit died from a long battle with cancer a few months later. I fell into a deep dark depression and couldn’t leave the house. After a fight and a city wide brown out that day where I couldn’t reach her… she filed for divorce. And then every thing I had been looking foreward to when I got out was gone. I went to cali last week and stopped fighting with her long enough for us to divorce like she wanted and for us fall back in love again, but this time with a few problems to work through. After a few arguments we made up and are now piecing our marriage back together. We spent those 6 days we should have been fighting, on dates and holding her close like before, kissing time and time again.

I’m sure you may think you know better than me because you are older and supposedly more experienced. But you can’t possibly understand what these issues are like first hand unless you have faced a divorce you are desperately trying to stop and improve yourself at a time when it may be too late. So yeah, what the hell would I know?