Quitting Porn - Scared - Pursuing Hardness

In layman’s terms, you just have to believe it with all your being. Base your belief on a thing you control then build upon it. Like revel in your gains. In your accomplishments. Example:

“You’ve had x amount of gains. Porn stars don’t gain. No one you date has had a man that controls this aspect of his life. YOU are amazing. YOU can reach so much further if you’ve done x thing”

I’ll post on this topic more this week actually, come to think of it. I’ll call it “Victory Mindset”

I’ve never had a problem one way or another. Except I found I got bored with porn after too much and REAL sex was even better then! That Literotica site is a great alternative. I need it to stay up for clamping. Works great using your own imagination!

OP, great topic. Hope you reach your goals!

Agree with so much already said. Only thing to add is how much more I start looking my wife up and down and flirting with her when I don’t watch porn. It’s like SHE becomes the object of my lust instead of actresses.

And I actually get to nail her in real life!

Hello all,

Maybe a harm reduction approach can be applied for people who are struggling with porn addiction and suffering with guilt. The idea is to allow you to have a controlled amount based on what you decide is right for you.

The following is based on a harm reduction approach for alcohol abuse, maybe it can be applied to porn addiction too:

First write down or type out in a word document the pros about your current porn usage. Be honest. For example, “I like being about to see hot women naked whenever I want”. “It feels good to have a variety of things to jerk off to”, “It turns me on easily”.

Next write down or type out in a word document the cons about your current porn usage. For example, “It is ruining my erection quality”,”It is ruining my relationship”,”It hurts my partner when I am unavailable for sex”,”Hurting PE”,”I’ve lost motivation”

Think about what kind of change you want, reduce your porn usage or quit. A lot of people find that quitting something, whether it is porn, alcohol or weed will eventually end up in a constant struggle and they may end up returning to it twice as diligently and suffer more guilt and depression over it.

Write down the pros and cons of reducing usage. Let’s say you decide that you will only look at it every Sunday morning, while she is at church praying for your soul and it will only be topless pictures (you choose what you want to do) and you will jerk off once over 30 mins. This is your porn usage plan.

Pros: For example, “I still get to seen pictures of naked women”, “I can still jerk off on my own terms”, “I will still have a lot of energy for my own relationship”, “Better PE”,”I will still feel motivated”

Cons: For example, “I will miss hardcore porn”, “It will negatively affect erection quality on Sundays”

Write down the pros and cons of quitting usage.

Pros: For example, “Better erection quality”, “More energy from my relationship”,”Better PE”

Cons: “Will miss seeing naked ladies in videos”, “I will be constantly thinking about it”

I personally think harm reduction approaches are better than quitting but it may not be for everyone, quitting may be the right thing to do. Another idea of harm reduction is that you have the power and control, you are not powerless. You can make a porn viewing plan for yourself where you decide the frequency and type of porn you will use. It is important to type this stuff out in a document so that you regularly review it. You can adjust the plan anytime you want. Try to follow it and if you slip up you need to forgive yourself and pat yourself on the back for the progress you made. If you beat yourself up then you will end up just beating yourself off so take it easy on yourself!

I look at porn most days but I wouldn’t say that it is too much of a problem. I have reduced my usage and jerk off much less based on what I have read at Thunder’s. My problem is with booze and harm reduction has helped in that area. If anyone reading wants to give this a try go ahead and see if it applies to porn as well as booze and drugs, I don’t think it will make things worse but it may help you get things under control.

That harm reduction Idea seems pitiful and bleak to me.

There is poison in the water. Let us reduce the poison concentration to non lethal levels…lets only drink one soda a day….eat fast food once a week….disrespect someone we love once every few days.

I feel ZERO guilt looking at porn. My decision to quit is based on looking toward better things. Rooted in the understanding that porn is artificial stimulation that is robbing me of my sexuality. I was ‘pouring myself into porn’. Wasting my lover potential on a machine system with a lovely face. It was an incredible moment when I realized. At that moment, there was no other option, not for someone like me. I really look forward to better things (better EQ, healthier more responsive sexuality, intimacy) and dont even consider that I wont be able to “see all the pretty naked ladies” — I’d rather see, AND PLEASE, real naked ladies :D

Sometime we have to pull things out by the root.

Pic: monkey = men, artificial monkey mother = porn/whatever you cling to…

Love this^^

By quitting you are actually practicing harm reduction, you have chosen no harm. Which is great. Definitely the best option.

The reason I brought up harm reduction (maybe I didn’t explain it very well, I’m no expert) was because it has been very successful in helping people get their drinking or drug use under control or eliminated all together. I can see that it is also being used for sex addition. There is a book on Amazon dealing with that subject. After years of failing to reduce my drinking or quit, I found a book on harm reduction and it gave me hope. I have been using it with increasing success.

If someone is truly an addict then there is a great chance they will relapse after a period of abstinence and harm reduction has been successful in preventing this. The addict will also need treatment for the underlying condition that is influencing the addition such as anxiety or depression. My problem is social anxiety, I am using self help books to work on that and like you I am also trying subliminal messages, visual and audio.

Maybe this stuff doesn’t apply to you but maybe someone reading this thread might be interested.

Anyway I wish you the best I’m sure these changes that you are making will improve your life. Good luck!

I find the best way to modify my own behavior is to focus on what I gain, and pretty much ignore what I lose. For instance, I quit porn cold turkey with no second thoughts when I fully accepted the fact that I would gain better erections and more intense orgasms both in my hand and in my wife. I thought and think nothing of what I might be losing. Since I wanted the gains, the losses were acceptable and negligible. Consider a professional athlete. They don’t think much about what they lost — stable home life (they travel like crazy), choice of resident city (they live where the owner tells them to live), the hassles of fame and so on. They focus only on what they gain.

I am applying the same principle to quitting alcohol. I already cut out caffeine, but for occasional sips, but I’ll cut out alcohol completely. I had forgotten how good it feels to be sober, how well I sleep and how much clearer I think.

Anyway. Think in term of gains, not losses. You’re already doing that with PE, by the way. You focus on the gains you might see from all the work you’re putting into your penis enhancement, and think nothing of the time you lose for the effort, nor the money if you’re into devices and so on.

Keep it POSITIVE.

- Saul

Is it considered porn when I watch the videos my wife makes for me?

Told her awhile ago that I’d rather watch her then some paid hooker. So she made me a bunch of videos of her masturbating, using dildos, etc which I watch while I jelq and need to maintain a 50-70% erection for 20 minutes.

Aside from that I think porn much like anything in life can be bad if you don’t use in moderation.

Its been more than 2 weeks of not viewing porn, Not allowing myself to visualize porn scenes.

-My morning wood is stellar! It gets so hard the head looks shiny!
-I dont think about porn or fly into the routines that would have me jacking and clicking
-Not having porn to ‘release’ into probably affect my moods, but its hard to tell.

When I think about going through with my old routines. open videos, jerk it, orgasm to pixels. It is really apparent of what a bullshit thing that is to do. What a waste of time. Of sexuality…What kind of great person does that?

So I dont look at porn these days, I dont even get the habitual impulse to look. But one thing I noticed is how powerful the effect of a picture of the female body has on my brain. I saw a sexy/ provocative image on google images while looking for something else. Holy shit. I could feel my brain lacing up its excitement pathways. Like a super dry wick drawing up liquid that wants to be drawn. It was intense. Its good to know that I’m an animal.

Just an update on my progress giving up porn…

It has been 23 days with no porn
-The bouts of anger and anxiety have subsided for the most part
-My erections are increasing in fullness and hardness. Especially at night. The other night I got fully rock hard while laying in bed just thinking, no hands.
-My night woods are so intense they wake me up.
-I masturbate regularly with no visual stimulation…hard as a rock. That was not possible before.

I cant attribute the increased hardness only to the quitting of porn, as I have been making lifestyle, diet, and supplementation changes persistently.

One experience that imprinted me with a deep desire to continue to pursue hardness was a few days ago: I lay in bed and thoughts things that happened that day with a girl I’m interested in floated in my mind. I got very hard without the use of my hands. Thought alone. I was tenting the sheets and decided to do an erect kegel. That Kegel was the most pleasurable kegel of my life. My unit swelled, the sheet jumped and a wave of pleasure poured over my body. Pure goodness. It was insane. What did I experience? I’m not sure, but I want more.

You’ll probably notice after you’ve not watched porn for a week or two.you’ll get turned on way easier at certain things.. Absolutely no need to be concerned about erection quality.. If anything it improves after a couple weeks.. Then when your there about to have sex you’ll be absolutely rock solid..

At least for me I know thats the case.. If I don’t watch porn/masturbate.when its that time I’m 10/10 erection quality within seconds.. It does cause you to cum way to quickly though sometimes.

[QUOTE=kavemonster

I cant attribute the increased hardness only to the quitting of porn, as I have been making lifestyle, diet, and supplementation changes persistently.

And also your PE routine. I’m sure that has contributed to your increased hardness as well.

I don’t watch porn anymore, I don’t even think about it.
I don’t masturbate to ejaculation anymore.

I’m not sure how this happened. I think I made a decision to quit, but I’ve made those before and folded in a week. Its been months now…I have a new girlfriend and I decided I wanted to give all my ‘sexual energy’ to her…I cant really explain it..looking at porn, jerking off, cumming into a tissue… it seems like such a waste. I’m not interested any more. Not that I’m not horny. I’m horny as hell and cant get enough. I feel like I’m properly using my sexuality. No more wire monkey mothers.