What's wrong with me

I agree. The reaction from your ‘buddies’ was pretty insensitive. You’re not weird for being unable to ‘pitch a tent’ in that scenario. It’s likely that the same thing would have happened to any of them.

Not only would it have been impossible for me to get a boner in that situation but, I have had a private lap dance before and I didn’t get it up as it just wasn’t doing anything for me.

Mind you, I have never been taken up on stage at a strip joint.
The only place I have been on stage as the center of attention is a gay bar (not a strip joint).
I was taken there with my gay friends at my old work.

This makes alot of sense.

I see sex as a sport where I want to perform.
I really don’t care about her really, I just want to give her my best so that it enhances my own ego.

I also find that I do better with chicks that I see as “sluts” and I know that they are going to sleep with other guys in the next day anyway.
It’s like i’m attracted and turned on by chicks that are real dirtys.
It’s sick I know but I want a dirty talking slut that’s had alot of cock.

I’ve got issues I think.
If she’s nice I get peoblems with gettin a stiffy.
Or it could just be nerves.

That`s your issue right there.

It sounds all mentaly disturbed.

It’s like I want to be treated bad so I seek these women out.

Like i’m not worthy of a nice girl.

Just try to think that you will get a bonner with EVERY girl, even with a nice one, repeat that in you mind every night when you go to sleep, and every morning when you wake up, repeat that untill you will have no inner voice telling you otherwise.Trust me, it makes a difference.

Cascade, you say, “I just want to give her my best so that it enhances my own ego”.

But sleeping with “sluts” doesn’t enhance your ego, it betrays it.

You can sleep with hundreds of slutty women but where does it get you in the end? It’s your happiness we are talking about here.

You sound like an honest guy who recognises that what you are doing is not giving you what you really want or need.

Take a step to evaluate what your long term goals are, what type of person you want to be and what kind of girl would really make you happy. Don’t follow others, think for yourself.

That’s exactly what I am talking about. How do you get that attitude, if you don’t have it naturally. The only way I could figure out, was to just start acting that way.

Unfortunatly judging by my experience, more women will respond to the con man. Even the athlete, depending on if he’s famous or not, will have to have a little attitude to go along with his physical prowess. They usuall have a lot of attitude, though.

I certainly am not suggesting that anyone become a con man. I just want the younger guys to realize that they don’t need to be great looking or have a lot of money to get the girls they want. 90% of the time women respond more to what you say than how you look. If you don’t feel confident, you still need to act confident. Doing so will help you build real confidence.

Let me be the 919839 person to tell you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. I’m at 5.5”x4.0” (I GAINED .5 IN LENGTH YEAHHHH BOY, sorry I had to say it :-D) There was a point I was considering suicide not because of my penis size, but a portion of it contributed to it. I felt that if I couldn’t please anyone else, how could I please myself. Almost like everything in the world had no meaning. Then I realized, what makes me think these thoughts?

The rest is history, but let me tell you I’ve been through it all. Ran with the gangs, got shot in the stomach, forced to fight people I knew in highschool by my “friends”, smoked weed, snorted coke, sleepless nights from the tweak I was taking for about 6 months, before I quit everything. I’m only 18 too. You’re gonna have to trust me on this, everything’s gonna be alright.

Do you know what getting “friged out” of a gang is? I do.
Until then, don’t worry. There’s always time to rebound!! :-)

-MR.GREY

Mr. Grey. Well done; inspirational. That shows well that with self-belief you can loose the negative and embrace the positive parts of your life and character.

Harmony777, I think we can agree that the best way for young guys to build self confidence with girls is to challenge negative thoughts like, “that girl won’t be interested in me” or “my body’s not good enough for her” or “she won’t like me because I wear glasses”, by looking at your own positive character or physical traits and giving them a value. You may get turned down by some girls but certainly not from others. I wouldn’t call this a “fake wall” because what you are doing is turning a negative into a positive based on facts of reality.

Nothing is wrong with you bro. I think every guy to some degree goes through growing pains like these at some age or another. First I would say you sound a little self absorbed which is also normal for your age. If you don’t have a job get one it will help you get your mind off your self so much. Second, you indicated you masturbate a lot. I know when I was 19 I did the same and it does reduce your sex drive. Take a few days off and see the difference. If you don’t get an erection in a strip club that does not mean you are gay it also does not mean you are straight. What it means in my opinion is in that situation with all those people around you you could not get it up, a lot of guys probably would not be able to either. That stripper probably grabs 20+ crotches a day and probably has the same reaction to all of them big or small. Don’t let some slut’s stupid comment concern you at all. As far as if you are gay or straight you are the only person who can answer that. Best Wishes

I quess the reason I call it “fake”, is because that is what it felt like to me when I started doing it. I felt like I was putting on an act. I did not really feel as confident as I was acting. After a positive experience or two, I started feeling real confidence.