How to take a piss with a small cock

***applause***

Me too :rear:

I have a problem with being bladder shy. I can’t seem to go when people are around (unless I’m drunk). How about you guys, do any of you get shy like that?

“That’s what I love about the great outdoors, it’s one big toilet.”

Jeff Goldblum: The Big Chill.

I used to— I found out that if I focus on a time when I’ve been extremely courageous (where there was a positive outcome) instead of thinking about who’s next to me while I’m trying to pee, I don’t get pee shy.

I once stood in a whole row of pee shy guys at a concert— it was really weird. We were all just standing there with our peckers out not peeing and there was a huge que behind us.

I don’t know about anyone else, but in a public toilet- say in a shopping centre or what have you, I cannot shit if there is someone else in there!

I worry that the “plop” and farting noises are going to embarrass me! Fucking so crap! I have had this problem my whole life! Do you know how annoying it is waiting for a flush, or the hairdryer to go- to muffle your noise? I hope it isn’t just me who does this- I am aware how fucking retarded it is!

It feel rather silly sharing this, but when I just started living with my ex-girlfriend I didn’t want her to “hear” the “plop” either. Fold a bunch of toilet paper a few times and place it eh, above the waterline in the toilet, at least you don’t hear a big splash that way.

:rolling:
No not retarded at all, because we’ve all been there.

What might be retarded, though, is deluding ones self that the flush or the hand dryer in enough noise to dround out the farting and plopping. But it doesn’t really matter, any sound is a justifiable excuse for letting one go, even if it’s nothing more than faking a cough.

It’s taking forever, but someday soon I hope to be separated from my wife, living alone, and eventually pursuing a relationship with another woman. This issue — the sounds and smells I know I am capable of producing — is secretly my biggest phobia. My wife is accustomed to it all, and I know she’s capable of worse. But someday, if/when I have a 30 year old hard body sleeping over all the time, I guess I’ll have good air freshener and a radio in the bathroom, and I’ll step outside to burp.

I used to never burp at the table. But now if I belt one out the little woman just give me a thumbs up and say, “Alright, good one.”

As long as she doesn’t start competing with me, I guess I’m alright with it.

You lucky man.

LOL! I don’t hold nothing back when it comes to burps either.

If you guys are self conscious about your bowel movement noises, imagine how women feel!

My wife told me, years after the fact, that when we first started living together, she used to go to the fast food joint down the street every single day to do her business, just so I wouldn’t hear or smell her in action. She told the kids one day, and now we drive by the same restaurant, and they call it “mom’s pooping restaurant!” :)

I guess it is normal to be self conscious about that, but as far as doing it in public, I don’t really worry about strangers who might be in there who I will never see again. Who gives a shit? (No pun intended?)

Now Ironically, my wife seems to be less concerned about it than I am. She has a pretty predictable morning ritual that I hear, and it doesn’t bother me at all to hear it. On the other hand, I try to time things for when she is not around.

WOW!! This thread has been rather entertaining.. lol

HAHAHA mom’s pooping restaurant! That’s hilarious. I’m just wondering if they made her buy something to eat every time she went in for a crap, or she just strolled in every now and then with a newspaper tucked under her arm, blissfully whistling whilst the management gleefully directed her to the female laboratory.

Haha this is all good. I’m glad to know I am not the only one who can’t drop my guts in public. Even though I know I won’t see any of these people again its fucked. How immature am I? John Smith trudges into the urinals, flops his cock out for a piss, lets out a massive winding fart and a big “sigh” of relief, and I will always have a chuckle to myself from in the shitter!

I admire their attitude- I’m gonna come in here and shit and fart and I don’t care who here. Maybe I am a prude- it seems like girl behaviour to me!