Talk me out of getting bigger (At the end of my PE journey but still want to continue

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I almost posted this to the Penis Size - A realistic view thread, especially after reading members feelings about bigger guys posting about not feeling big (when I first joined, that used to really bug me too). But the more I thought about it the more it seemed this could stand its own thread, so here goes…

I got both a shock and then a surprise last week; both are detailed below…

The shock:

I got super horny and and hit a bone-pressed 7.75 inches (7 & 6/8ths) when I thought I was working on cementing 7.625 inches (7 & 5/8ths)…

…I’d devised an IPR routine I couldn’t continue with due to emotional health issues (my apologies for people here who might have been interested in tracking my IPR progress; my emotional health has been a blight on my life) but I have since got back into a Penimaster (about 7 weeks ago for 10 hours a day minimum (probably 11 to 12 hours per day average)).

It seems I have definitely experienced a jump in length measurement and I cannot imagine it’s purely due to EQ, but rather a result of that first round of IPR, followed by approximately 490 hours spent in a Penimaster over the past 7 weeks.

The surprise:

When I measured this, I was surprised to find I was concerned that I might have overdone it, and gotten too long (As a result of my own reading, plus questions I’d previously put to firegoat about the ideal measurements in his sig (i.e.: "…the ideal penis size is 7.6" BPEL x 5.6" Mid Girth.") I’ve come to believe that the measurements in firegoat’s sig are, at least generally speaking, the ideal size.

Some of the psychology behind my PE efforts:

I’m not sure why I initially got into penis enlargement or how I found my way to it but I think it was partly due to being shamed my one of my friends over the size of my penis when I took it out to urinate. I was it turns out average but I couldn’t get it out of my head that I might be small. That and because I’d always just wished I was larger, because of general media depiction etc.

As time went on I started fantasising about getting work as a "pornstar" and wanted to get as large as I possibly could and that became a kind of goal for me although in the back of my mind I kind of knew it would probably never happen. I don’t think the fantasy of getting work in the adult industry was the problem but rather the delusion that I could attain or sustain any kind of work whatsoever, given my emotional state and my mental health problems: I have a sleep disorder plus suffer from a couple of types of depression that compound each other…

…these problems also prevent me from maintaining a social life and basically mean that I never have sex. So…I decided if I were never going to have a partner, or even a one night stand, then what difference does it make if my penis is 7.6" or 9.6", I might as well make it as large as I possibly could for my own masturbatory enjoyment.

Luckily, around this same time I realised that what I enjoyed most when using porn was seeing the women in the movies experiencing pleasure, and that it were more important to my enjoyment to have the woman’s face in the frame (communicating pleasure and enjoyment) than it was to see penetration. What I found was I could watch the movie and compare my size to the guy’s and feel that if I were there instead of him there’s no reason why I wouldn’t be able to make her feel the same physical pleasure as she was displaying in the scene (I also found that it was less pleasurable for me to watch if the guy in the scene had a bigger penis than mine)…

…so I began to think it just wouldn’t be necessary to get any larger than I am now.

Adding to this, I had a brief affair with a woman who it turned out just wanted to tease and control me and who I ultimately had to ask to leave because of the way she was treating me. One good thing that came of that was that we were laying down together with me spooning her and she was simulating penetration with her hand and asking me if that’s what I wanted, so I took it as an invitation and penetrated her for two strokes before she pulled away. She later said that my penis felt very unusual in that it "went out, then in, then out again" referring to my hour-glass shape…

…this made me think that I also don’t want to loose the ability to penetrate fully, because my widest girth is at the base and I’m thinnest mid-shaft. Plus I have the hourglass shape which hypothetically (if I could actually find someone who’d sleep with me) should creates an extra sensation.

In summary I guess I’m pleased with my overall size since hitting 7.75, due to the fact that I look longer than I’ve ever been, and to me longer always meant bigger (even though arguably it’s really girth that counts more than length). At 7.5" I still looked proportionately similar to how I’ve always looked, and because I grew so slowly I never really got the sense that I was bigger, other than intellectually when measuring. If not for the fact that I now require large condoms I think I might actually have been able to convince myself I’d not really grown at all and that I’d somehow deluded myself over the measurements.

So, I feel like I’m at the end of my journey with P.E. (I’ve now moved on to foreskin restoration) but I have all of the knowledge and tools to get to eight inches and beyond and I’m still tempted to try and get as big as I possibly can, even though there seems to be no sense in it, other than still fantasising that if I got big enough, and worked on my physique that I might be able to get work in the adult industry as soon as they see the size I’d be packing.

Just posting this to a public forum and being able to get my thoughts in order has helped but I’d like to get input from people, basically to convince me to stop, and to talk me down, and to talk me out of this delusion…there’s still a part of me that wants to find a cam girl who needs male talent and a part of me that wants to move to L.A. and get onto the circuit…

…I was talking to a hooker on the internet and she basically said you have no business hooking unless you’re bi-polar…that’s how they cope financially with the down-time that the illness causes them, and I feel like similarly, I could potentially make a living and build some kind of life for myself doing this where otherwise, because of my problems with depression, I really am just a shut-in due to lack of money and lack of friends.

I’d say if you want to continue, then continue. At least with length, there really is no maximum, as you just would end up not using what didn’t fit or work with a given woman. Girth you’d have to be careful with, but so many of us have a harder time gaining that you might never hit “too much”, if you are fighting to get to around 6” like most of us are.

F I might add more as I’ve just skimmed through this, but you’ve already said it; you have the knowledge, so can maintain & resume (growth) pretty much anytime you want.

It’s a quandary I suppose, when do you figure you’ve done it? I have the classical goal of 8 inches I think I’m coming up upon that soon. I don’t measure so, who knows? I might be already be at my goal.

This perhaps ain’t the site, but I’m going through some existential stuff too. I’ve always had a nilhistic aspect to my personality and think too much.

Anyway, pausing the size increase & attempting to deal with other more important issues might be the way. Since there’s a method for growth that works, I’m no longer especially concerned with it, it’s become academic. Probably the same for you.

You know you’ve grown and can continue to grow.

I’m probably not helping demystify anything as it seems you’re trying to figure out ‘why’?

I just feel like I’m at a size where getting bigger could potentially start to cause difficulties and as such it seems a little illogical to me. Also, I’m hour-glass shaped with my biggest girth in the base, so if I get so long that I bottom out so much that my base can’t be inserted it’ll be like working against myself.

I used to want to be 8 by 6 because it was a figure that was thrown about and sounded good but I think it’s pretty arbitrary. I hold with firegoat’s idea of “ideal” size. But yeah, I know I can keep growing if I want to, the question is should I?

Do you think 7,75 or 8 makes any difference at all?

No one can tell you. I haven’t tried to grow in years. I’m considering going a bit bigger

I think if you are bigger you will be fine in the bedroom, just as if you are smaller you will also be fine.

I guess it’s really just a question of what are you passionate about and how you want to spend your time and energy?

It’s good to think about this stuff though.

I actually thought I’d get more of a response? Back when I joined, there were more people on the forums who would have posted to urge caution; More “voices of reason” so to speak, but this place seems to have changed, a lot. :/

That having been said, if more people do post to advocate continuing PE, I’ve decided I’m not going to respond with counter arguments, as this stuff is kind of a sacred cow in many ways, and were I to try and play devil’s advocate I imagine things could get quite hostile: There’s a difference between an argument in an academic sense and an argument in the sense of a forum squabble, and if people don’t present reasonable arguments there’s literally no reason to argue.

Thanks Hobie, sorry I didn’t respond more fully yesterday, I was pretty tired and ended up dropping into bed and sleeping.

I know depression sucks and I’ve been working on trying to combat it for years. I’ve found practising meditation helps, as it’s trained me to disconnect from the depressive thought streams.

Also, emotions are biochemical in nature and can’t exist for more than a minute or so unless the thought streams they invoke are fed back into them in a kind of feedback loop that creates a holding pattern, so learning to clear the mind of thoughts and concentrate on the breath for a minute or two can clear the brain of the biochemistry that creates the negative emotions.

I recommend picking up a book titled “The Mind Illuminated” by John Yates Phd, a Neuroscientist who performed a meta analysis of the world’s meditative practices to create a concrete, step by step, road map for mastering meditation, based on scientific understanding of the functioning of the brain. Hope that’s helpful.

And yes, sort of, trying to figure out ‘why’ as you say but probably more accurately trying to figure out ‘why not?’ …but I’m pretty sure that road leads towards a locked thread. The why not is, I think, implicit in my initial post but even though I have my own idea of why not I was still feeling like I wanted to keep going with it. But less so now. I think this thread is helping me separate from this stuff.

Thanks Titleist, I know it’s ultimately my own decision and, as you say, no one can tell me what to do, but I was hoping for some input.

I’m curious as to what made you want to get bigger than you were when you began? It seems you were already pretty big to begin with but you wanted more size? I’m curious as to why? Is that something you could elaborate on?

Also, I think my initial post might have been too long; I’m not sure people have actually read it. :/

Thanks LittleEngine

For me it’s not about confidence in my penis, so I think I’m okay in that respect, I know there’s much much more to being a good lover and a viable partner than penis size.

The passion however is probably the problem. PE gets me out of bed in the morning and is more or less the only thing that motivates me. As such I want to keep going but I don’t really want to get larger than what I’ve personally come to believe is the “general ideal size” as discussed, debated and determined by the numerous threads on the topic here at Thunder’s Place.

What I have done however is substituted foreskin restoration. It’s not as compelling as PE but I think I just need to keep my eyes on the prize in terms of what it should do for me and I should be okay.

I was under the misconception that my penis was small after a divorce.

You are you! No post or member can tell you what’s best for you. You could get a thousand responses and you’ll still be left with choosing what’s best for you.

A bigger penis solves little of any issues. Pursuing being a better person and being the best you is a life long goal.

In the end, only you can decide if a bigger penis adds to your goals.

Thanks Titleist, it’s most appreciated.

Just feel like I need some input on this and I’m not sure where else I could go for something like this.

It sounds to me like we are discussing more than your penis.

My 2 cents worth;

I have heard some guys say that they are working to get a “monster” dick.

If you are working, at least partially, to make your dick more attractive to women, go for what they call a “nice” dick rather than a monster dick.

In my opinion, never sacrifice form for size.

If you can get both form and size and your larger size will not impede your sex life and you don’t mind putting in the extra hours, go for it.

I have a moderate bend in my erect dick and

I have slightly more than 6 inches which is in the average ballpark. Fixing my bend is more important than gaining more size if I want what the ladies call a “nice” dick.

Sure, I would like to have 7 or 8 inches as well. That would be a nice bonus.

But I would not want 12 inches of misshapen swinging sirloin between my legs. I would rather have a nice looking 6 inches any day.

As an aside,, I have noticed that many porn stars have genitalia that is a different color than the rest them. I have seen this in both sexes.

The parts that rarely see the light of day seem to have more melanin that the parts that are exposed to the sun. Maybe it is the blood pumping to these regions during sexual excitement? I don’t get it as my dick is pretty much the same color as the rest. Anyway.. I digress.

I would be happy if I ever got to 7 inches and 8 would be ideal. For me, anything more than that would not be worth the work unless it came easily because, frankly, it’s more work than entertainment for me.

Those extra one or two inches would be strictly for my own self-esteem. Few would ever see it or know that I have it. Kind of like owning a VW bug with a Porsche engine. Just knowing that you have the power is a high onto itself.

Undoubtedly, I wrote about my thinking/psychology in the initial post so that it’d be open for comment/discussion?

But there’s nothing wrong with that is there? This forum’s never been about just penises? I think most of us are here for psychological reasons as much as anything else.

Has the forum changed so much since I joined that this area of discussion is off-limits?

I admit I’ve not been around for a while but this kind of thing used to be a prime topic of conversation at Thunder’s Place.

Sorry for the double post, I ran out of editing time:

Thanks Amerikanisch,

I used to want a monster dick and sometimes I still think it would be cool, but I can’t read through the “ideal size” threads without thinking I should stay the size I am.

The problem is I never get to use it anyway, so there’s a part of me that’s thinking “what the hell, do it anyway” and wants to just keep on keeping on with it regardless. Although I think I’m happy with it as it is. Wanting more length is more about fuelling my “pornstar” fantasies and if I’m honest with myself I think they’re only ever going to be fantasies…

…and ultimately they’re really just about getting to have sex, and I guess there are other (more expensive) but easier ways to fulfil that need.

Honestly given how slow PE is I personally say keep going if you want to. It isn’t like you are going to wake up one morning with 12+ inches or 8 inches girth and say crap now I’ve overdone it. Keep going until you hear more negatives than positives from the receiving end of things, then back off (given backing off typically results in a tiny bit of loss).

If you break up and end up with someone new and they are ok with the size, then start trying to gain again and repeat the process. Girth is also the big showstopper, and until you get above 6” most here don’t seem to report many issues. Just my 2 cents.