Possible minor injury

Thanks for responding StraightDave. I have a different battle. I’ll be surprised if I survive to be honest when it’s over. My physical dependency to medication (Librium, Suboxone, Phenibut, gabapentin) and the injury is beyond fucked up. I’m almost off the Librium and Suboxone and life is hell. I have horrible insomnia and hypersensitivity to everything. My nervous system is damaged. I usually have been able to manage all these things by limiting stress, healthy life style, and mediation and yoga but haven’t been able to do these things this past few weeks because of a recent set back. I’ve been smoking cigarettes these past few weeks. Not a lot but I’m super sensitive to cigarettes and caffeine because of benzo withdrawal and it’s just a big no no right now. I smoke American Spirits and they are kind of nasty but seem a better alternative to regular tobacco. They make sick for the most part. I’ve also been taking a lot of tinaneptine this past few weeks. I’m a complete mess. I have healed from this before, or at least I thought I did. I ended up doing a single erect bend in February and hurt myself. I didn’t even mean to do one. It was like an old reflex basically and I did it without thinking about it. Of course I had extreme benzo withdrawal while this happened. This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I haven’t masturbated or ejaculated for 7 days. The week before I masturbated 5 times. I don’t know why. But it really fucked things up bad. The last time I masturbated I was high on edibles and they just get me whacked out horny and I can’t control myself. The erections just become rock hard and semen just starts dripping everywhere and I just become flushed with hormones and an overwhelming urge that is beyond fucked up. Just thinking about a woman’s ass and pussy lips will put me over the edge on these edibles. I also have premature ejaculation from the drug withdrawal. I can also spontaneously ejaculate without touching my penis and I have over a handful of wet dreams under my belt this summer. I’m more prone to wet dreams and spontaneous ejaculation the days before recently ejaculating too. The pain has improved over the past 7 days but my penis keeps getting erect everytime I try to sleep and I get overwhelmed with anger and fear. My dosing schedule has been fucked up with the meds and I ended up dosing early and most of my problems just went away and I was able to sleep without issues. The drugs are contributing to this problem immensely. I realized I just need to completely stop masturbating until the urge just goes away. I need to just keep tapering the Librium and Suboxone as quick as I can and stop smoking and do the yoga and meditation again and walking for long distances like I did before. It was the only thing that helped. I’ve never been able to not masturbate for more than 10 days. I read somewhere that after a few weeks of not masturbating your libido crashes. I hope that is true. I’m afraid of putting pressure on my dick with icepacks because the last time I did that I got a spontaneous erection and ejaculation, followed my a masturbation session and a whole lot of pain. Ice water is my only option right now. I haven’t iced for a few days but will start again. On top of this, I’m dealing with a domestic problem with my sister. I couldn’t sleep last night because of it. I was so angry last night. I may need her to move out of the house again if her behavior continues .

The first time I injured myself in 2014, the only thing that healed it was limiting masturbation to 7-10 days and about 8 months. I think it was worse the first time but I was just so drugged up it seemed easier. I also didn’t have any nocturnal or morning erections on all the meds. The tables have turned now and I’m just plagued by erections preventing my penis from resting basically. I can’t go back on the meds because they really don’t work anymore. I rather be dead too then reinstate on a high dosage of benzos and opioids at this point. I’ll get the situation under control again like I did before. I just hope I don’t die from insomnia, stress and pain. You can’t help but worry about getting cancerous tumors after all the drugs and stress I’ve been going through too. I’m just shot to shit over this situation. I’m 33 so I have a decent chance of surviving if I can just get off these drugs. The taper is at a stand still right now though. I’m not sure of toxic all these substances I take are but my blood work has always come back normal. I may be lucky as far a how much abuse and poisoning someone could take, but I usually try to do healthy things. When I fall off and start smoking I just get this overwhelming feeling that if I continue I will die eventually basically.

The strangest thing is, I never had one cold or virus since this all happened. I do live in a plastic bubble for the most part but I used to leave the house often at times. The worst thing that happened health wise was an in ingrown toenail infection. I never get low grade fevers too it seems, even when I’m stressed out beyond belief. This has been going on too long though. I feel that I need to make a recovery soon to have the best chance of long term survival assuming I don’t off myself in the process.

Yeah man, stress can kill you too, I really hope restraining from masturbation can help heal you, I tried only restraining from masturbation before without icing my penis, it really just stayed the same for me.

If it worked for you though, then that’s great. Yes, I never really battled a drug addiction (if that’s what you’re dealing with), I only had some what of a masturbating habit (twice a day for a period of time). Obviously your’s is more dangerous, the only thing I could possibly say is to think of it as every time you take the drugs, realize that you are making the “decision” to take them. I would just try to take a moment before taking them, be aware of what’s going on, and just walk away, and if you mess up, it’s okay, I wouldn’t judge myself so badly.

I know drugs in of themselves have stuff in them that kind of makes people addicted to begin with, but I guess it’s 100% on the person who’s taking them to stop (in my opinion). I know some people believe in support groups and stuff, but at the end of the day, if a person doesn’t want to stop, then they won’t.

Its usually the best for people to pull stuff from within to believe in themselves, out of curiosity, do you believe in yourself, its okay if you don’t, just I guess I would try to form positive assumptions, like without overcompensating, just naturally assume that you can do whatever you want to man, and that you are enough.

I’m happy to hear that you are trying to find ways through this, and I believe you can do it (personally), but if you mess up, it’s really okay.

Maybe for your sister, I would look her in the eyes, and say “I’m sorry and I don’t want to fight anymore”. It sounds a little scary of a situation, but even at that, try to see things from her perspective I guess. It not really my place, so sorry if I overstepped any boundaries.

Hey StraightDave. Just to clarify so you have a better understanding. I’m not addicted to most of the drugs I take, as in I don’t want to take them. It is a physiological dependency. I have to take them basically or I get severely sick. Some stuff, like cigarettes I can quit any time I want without major problems. But benzodiazepines, opioids and shit like phenibut and gabapentin is another story. I’m not fighting with my sister. She just made a noise last night and she was drinking and it upset me and it prevented me from sleeping. She has a bunch of problems and I’m honestly sick of it. She is such a noisy person when she drinks and wakes me up. I’ve tried a lot to help her and even sacrificed my own health at one point to save her from her self while I’ve been dealing with my own addiction. At one point, her alcoholism became worse than everything I was doing combined. She also has an eating disorder. It seems me and my sister are going through a rough patch. It all started after our mother got cancer. She died a few years ago. A few months after she died I injured my penis by improper technique. I basically thoughtlessly jelqed the glans. It didn’t seem like much pressure but it was enough to crush the dorsal nerve and cause damage apparently. The pain was horrible after a few weeks. Enough to lose my mind and I stupidly went on a cocktail of drugs I got from this doctor who really fucked up my life. He lost his medical license for overprescribing meds, so it wasn’t just me he harmed. I needed a different kind of help at the time, and not a bunch of pills. I was hopeless and I did want to die basically because the injury was painful and I was going through too much.

Not sure how you injury compared to mine. Did you injure the glans? I felt a lot of discomfort yesterday from abstaining. The urge to masturbate or sexual desire creates an extreme tickling sensation that persists and builds up. I ended up carefully masturbating yesterday because the feeling wouldn’t stop again. It was 7 days and the pain seems way better today. I don’t know. It seems masturbating helps sometimes too with the pain. The first time I healed I did it every 7-10 days. I’d like to go every 14 days if I can but that tickling sensation builds up.

The biggest battle is not masturbating again, right after a second time. If I abstain for 7-10 days I don’t seem to get it all out and feel an intense urge to go again. As long as I don’t it seems to help with the pain. I probably would heal if I can do this and just sleep properly is seems. My stress level is starting to reduce again. I quit smoking yesterday and I have no urge to smoke today, so it seems like I’m getting better.

Another thing that seems to lower my sex drive is not eating meat but this is another struggle but I’m working on limiting my consumption again. Saturated fats and animal proteins just make my sex drive unbearable right now. Also, aggression and rage take over and I can’t sleep with all the drug withdrawal issues. When I lower Suboxone, this opioid I’m trying to quit, my testosterone levels skyrocket. Who knows what the benzos do to testosterone levels. I’m assuming it lowers them and when you quit or lower the drug is just bounces back again.

I ordered some stuff. Chasteberry, hops, valerian root, and rehmannia. I’m going to try to reduce my libido with this stack. It read that you need to stick to low doses of chasteberry to raise prolactin levels. I’m a little confused on the ideal dosage for this.

Yeah I think I assumed you had an addiction problem, sorry. I hurt my penis too kind of similar to your’s, it was a while ago but I believe I jelqed my tip and was a bit too high on my erection level.

Scary enough I actually plan on giving it another shot, I’ve learned and theorized a way to give myself excellent gains and be pretty cautious simultaneously.

I don’t think I would personally recommend PE to someone else, as I believe in maybe 10 to 30 years from now, I believe that there will be more research on it, and science will lean to create ways for society to jelq in a cautious fashion.

Are you able to have sex with women by the way, feel free to not answer if you don’t feel comfortable by the way?

I can have sex if I want to, I’m fully functional but I just prefer not to. I do have an addiction problem too just not so much with the meds considering I never abuse them anymore. All I do is taper and try to lower them, so it is more physical dependency at this point. I do take other stuff. I am an addict though so it is both I guess. You should reconsider doing PE. If there is any abnormal tissue surrounding the nerve, entrapping it, it is possible to cause the injury again. This is what happened to me I think. Not sure though.

Wow, yeah. I jelqed the tip of my penis too. My erection level was 75% but I kegeled and squeezed the base with the OK grip and it was too much pressure. After two weeks it started burning and aching after masturbating to the point I went crazy and ran to a doctor and started taking a bunch of drugs because I thought I would kill myself if I didn’t. My mom just died too and I was a mess. Lots a problems.

I think I found something that works to reduce my libido. I didn’t eat today. I just juiced this green juice recipe so far. I’m going to eat a little but not sure how much. If I am hungry enough it seems my libido just crashes because I’m distracted by hunger. I think if I eventually cut out all animal fats and proteins I won’t have to deal with extra dietary cholesterol, that way maybe it will reduce my libido even more. I also have those supplements coming. I feel like a have a chance right now. I ended up masturbating again yesterday and had enough of this shit. This is an extreme situation and I need extreme solutions at this point. I need to finish getting off the rest of these meds too. I finally feel sensible and lucid enough from lowering the benzo, to formulate a real strategy here it feels like. On higher doses of the benzo and with my pain level I couldn’t think at all and every one around me never told me what to do. It’s really upsetting when no one tells you what to do. My friend actually told me to go on a water fast and that it would heal me but I never did because he never mentioned that fasting would reduce me sex drive. The dumbass just said fasting heals everything. Not that I would of had better advice if the tables where turned. I am hungry though but fuck it. It actually feels good to be distracted by hunger. All your real problems feel less bad.

The reason why I have trouble with masturbating is becaus e the actual pain creates a sensation that causes erections. It is a stimulating feeling basically. It also makes me want to keep touching myself because its like a terrible itch basically. Also, the few days after masturbating I just keep getting erections. I got an erection while putting away groceries the other day and it persisted for over an hour. I also got an erection while my dick was in ice cold water. This is just fucked up.

So, I successfully didn’t eat today. My sleep schedule is whatever these days. I slept from 4p-10:30p today. Most sleep I got in a month. Still had issues with too much blood flow to the penis while sleeping but it wasn’t erect the entire time. I think this will improve hopefully soon. All I ate was one regular sized bowl of this cereal with soy milk and 8oz of that juice I made. My blood sugar was 85mg/dl after waking. Usually it is over 100mg/dl after waking up. I’ve had pre diabetes this past year I think. Not sure though because my blood work was normal at the doctors every time. I don’t take blood sugar reading that often anymore. Anyways, I feel like this is the right move. Not sure, how far I will take this but once I can get really comfortable, I think I can really form an ideal diet for me. I have a tendency to over eat usually. I don’t eat at all normally until 3 hours before I sleep and I overload and thoughtlessly eat. I just think if my body is putting most of its energy toward digestion it will have a harder time healing from this. I just need to put the right foods in my body in the smallest amounts possible for now. I weigh 170lbs and am 6’. Based on my body frame, I would start to look noticeably, abnormally low in body fat, at 150-155lbs. I’m not sure because I never was able to lose all my excess body fat before. Not sure how much I should work out. I’ll probably just keep doing pushups and pull-ups but never max out and try to start walking or running again as soon as possible. Going on these meds prevented me from healing this injury because I was too medicated to figure all this out. The last time I saw my doctor a few days ago. The addictionologist, he kept telling me to take more drugs. I told him I’m in pain and he is like take more Suboxone. He never can remember that I injured my penis by doing PE either. He thinks I am some kind of compulsive masturbator I think because he keeps giving me this sex addict masturbation speech. It’s really annoying. He can never remember how much meds I take or what I take basically without looking at his computer and he is still clueless. I’ve been seeing him for over a year. I told him I don’t put any pressure on my penis when I masturbate dude, and he is like OH with this stupid look on his face. This happens every month. It’s like he gets his memory erased every time or I’m not explaining things well to him. Hopefully he remembers because if he gives me a masturbation lecture again I’m going to get angry at him. I don’t understand how a doctor can forget that I injured myself doing PE. Nothing more frustrating than your doctor not giving a fuck enough to remember that. Last April, I called him before I almost offed myself and he never called me back. I tried to admit myself to the hospital psych ward the day before because I felt like I was going to do it and the cunt never called me back. He told me next time call 911 and acted all apologetic. I hate that cunt.

I don’t have another appointment to see him until Oct. 16th. I need to get my shit together before then because I don’t like this doctor anymore. I never did but I’m starting to realize how much I hate him now. I never forgave him for never returning my call last April. He always gives terrible medical advice too. Recommends the wrong medications for my condition sometimes too. I could do his job better than he can with most of his patients he sucks so bad. I can’t stand him anymore but he is all I got for now and I need gabapentin scripts until I can get off that shit. I have enough of everything else stocked up to taper off. I see a psychologist in the same office and she knows this doctor personally because they work together. I keep complaining to her every week about how upset he makes me but I never see results. Nobody listens. These people don’t give a fuck I think. My psychologist seems to care but I can’t tell. I need to keep seeing these doctors until I can get back into school with all my financial aid in place. I’ll probably have to file another SAP appeal for financial aid and you need a doctors letter for that. The therapy does help. At this point, the addictionolgist just annoys me. I want to keep seeing him though for some reason. I want to make it my mission for that cunt to remember my problems for some reason. He actually recommended last time for me to up my dosages on gabapentin, suboxone and librium. I spent the entire summer lowering these meds. I nearly died because of these meds and this stupid fuck is telling me to take more. I tried explaining to him that the side effects create constant intrusive thoughts and cognitive distortion but he tells me to take more. He actually thinks drugs help but he doesn’t understand that nothing helps me anymore. They helped the first few years maybe but not anymore. I should just type out a letter to this doctor explaining all this shit to him because I’m tired of him. I can’t yell at him either or they will call the police on me. The last time I raised my voice in that building this bitch called the police and they ended up locking me up against my will for a week. It was over something small that could of been settled with a conversation. They could of called my dad or something. All I said was I felt like punching my dad over something and that sometimes I wished he would just drop dead. I explained to them that I’ve been dealing with all sorts of drug withdrawal issues but they didn’t care, and I didn’t mean it. They wanted to send me away. They probably enjoyed it. It was an IOP meeting where it happened. I learned my lesson to never act up in that building. I just need this nightmare to end. You can’t even get help. The places that are meant to help you can cause more harm.

Things are improving a lot today. I had less nocturnal erections with the Vitex last time I slept. First time I took it though so it is too early to say. I tried this hops resin extract today. It’s really relaxing. It’s called Perluxan. I have some valerian root extract that I may start taking before bedtime. I plan to wrap up the rest of my Suboxone taper within the next few weeks. I’ve been eating less and this has been helping too.

My penis always feels full for some reason though and gets hard when I touch it. Even when I urinate it becomes erect basically. Not sure why. Pain is much better though, even with the erections after making these changes. Not eating all the time makes a huge difference.

Hey man I understand that your going through a lot.. We all are.. But why don’t you take the advice from the guys here, it sounds like ur just making excuses to avoid what everyone has been telling you(and myself ) to do which is resting. Don’t touch your dick for a month. If you feel good and notice ur erections are coming back.. Don’t cave in and jerk off. It’s a sign your body is recovering. So just try and rest, take 3-4 months off of touching your dick unless your cleaning it or pissing. Would you rather suffer and heal for those 3 months, or keep posting on this site and never moving on with ur life. Just try it man, what’s the worst that can happen honestly