Dick Control: A Primer

Very fascinated by this topic/practice lately, so I’ll keep posting progress and questions. I order the two books mentioned by Cheeva.

Has anyone else read them and care to comment? I really like Cheeva’s non “airy-fairy” approach to all this and I’m wondering if the Mantak book isn’t going to be a little to mystical for my tastes….

As far as my practice…

I’m starting to learn my dick better and its reactions to stimuli. I’m very aware of the “tugback” mechanism or involuntary BC contraction, especially when the glans is stimulated. I’m getting a little better at relaxing the BC and pelvic floor muscles during manual stimulation but it is much harder to do during sex.

An area of interest for me in all this practice is the role of “super pushing kegels”. How I do these is basically pretend I’m trying to take a dump and force a stream of urine out at the same time. This seems to cancel out the BC contractions associated with orgasm and makes my penis head swell up immensely and the shaft gets all veiny. I think this is one component of ballooning?

Anyone, sometimes I do this “pushing out” thing while close to the PONR and while continuing manual stimulation and it lessons the urge to orgasm, only problem is the swelling of the head makes it more sensitive to the friction of the head which then makes the BC want to contract and push me over the edge….a weird conundrum.

Also, there seems to be slightly different muscles used when I “push out”. I can push out the muscles around the anus, as well as the base of the penis. I’m not sure what they are called, but there seems to be a greater drop in the urge to cum if I can get the muscles closer to the base of the penis to “push out” or relax as well as the anal muscles. These muscles seem to be the same muscles that you have to force to relax when you are in a public restroom and have a shy bladder…

Just some thoughts, would love to hear others thoughts/experiences on the road to dick control and ejaculatory mastery! More practice is in order!

Yeah, this used to be my most favorite method of ejaculation control. If I feel the PONR is approaching, I would just take the dick out, balloon it up quickly til it’s all big, huge, red, swollen, and slightly hurting, and then put it back in and continue. The ballooning kills the contractions, the pain numbs the senses a little, and you also have a bigger dick to work with! :D

I’m confused even after reading as many posts by Cheeva and others as I could find about what exactly a super pushing kegel is….

“—The Super Pulling Kegel— A Super Pulling Kegel is the same as a Super Pushing Kegel, but with the force of the contraction pulling in toward the tailbone, away from the penis.

The Super Pulling Kegel is one of the most important techniques for physical mastery of the ejaculatory response. It serves two functions. 1) to pull the “energy” away from your unit, helping to bring arousal down to a manageable level, and 2) to override involuntary BC contractions.”

Am I understanding this correctly in that you are simple squeezing your anus muscles instead of the BC muscle? It seems difficult to contract the anus muscles without the BC…..I’ll have to try it out, but it seems like that wouldn’t stop any involuntary BC contractions for me…

“The Super Reverse Kegel—This is a strong, long-held, erect Reverse Kegel.

Super Reverse Kegels are primarily used in ballooning (or Extreme Edging) to get maximum expansion of the penis.”

-This seems to be what I’m actually talking about in my previous post. This seems to help cancel out involuntary BC contractions and delay orgasm, but maybe there is a better method?

I’m getting all hung-up on the terminology because when I “push out” as if I’m tryin to take a crap or urinate, I think of that as a “super PUSHING kegel”. It is like a intense forced relaxation or distending of the pelvic floor muscles….but that doesn’t sound like Cheeva’s description of a “pushing kegel”

Arrhgghhhhh!

Experiences today:

30 minutes of just going slow and paying attention to where I feel the “energy” in my body, and practicing relaxing and spreading. Part of me thinks that this is a bit of a waste of time, but another part of me can’t argue with the fact that when I stay aware of the sensations and focuse on my breathe and relaxing, it takes longer to reach the PONR.

Another interesting point was towards the end of the session I was approaching the PONR and I did a extreme kegel (squeeze all the pelvic floor muscles as hard as possible for about 10 seconds) and I noticed a decrease in arousal afterwards (while maintaining erection strength, but the head of my penis was as expanded…) and I was able to continue stroking without being pushed over the edge.

Seems like the above might be a viable option or tool for ejaculation control…cool!

Still practicing…its fun getting to know my dick and automatic reflexes and such!

I tried the “manual lock” today. Right as I reached the PONR, I pressed two fingers into my perineum fairly hard. I felt some strong BC contractions and had an orgasm, but no semen came out. Unfortunately, I immediately started losing my erection, similar to a normal ejaculatory orgasm. It was quite weird to orgasm but not ejaculate!

I think the technique has some potential. Tomorrow I will try it with the internal lock + manual lock. I don’t plan on making a habit out of the manual lock because I’d like to master the internal stuff more, but its just fun to experiment!

If anyone has advice on what to do to maintain the erection when doing the manual lock, it would be much appreciated!

Really cool thing happened today…I was practicing for around 25 minutes, vigorously at times, but today I was able to relax the involuntary BC contractions simply with my mind and breath. It was really cool because this session most closely mimicked actual intercourse in terms of level of stimulation, and I was able to stay away from the PONR the entire time with my thoughts and breath! Cool!

I think becoming more aware of the pelvic floor muscles (the “mind muscle connection”) is where its at. I plan on really mastering this conscious relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles with mind and breath, because to me, thats all that I should want or need to do in sex…just relax and enjoy!

I’ll keep talking to myself here, but others are welcome to chime in, lol!

Hey, you are going a good job. Keep working at it. ;) And thanks for the posts.

The manual lock is really cool. It is an excellent training technique. It shows you and makes you believe that you can indeed have a real orgasm without ejaculation. I think it is an important step to try, and see if you like it, and see if you can later do the same thing internally, without hands.

I would not consider it an intercourse technique though because some weird hand position is required, and you can make your soft tissues sore a little if you press too hard. I like the internal lock much better because no hands are required.

In either case, I think losing erection after a dry orgasm is natural and very common. With practice you will learn to maintain a light stimulation throughout the orgasm, or continue it right after the orgasm has ended while the penis is still erect and sensitive. If you time it right, you can have several of those orgasms in a row. Maybe even a one huge long continuous one. What I found though, is that unlike during edging or a relaxed intercourse, having several dry intense orgasms in a row is just as satisfying as if you had real orgasms with ejaculation. It literally drains you. I think a huge amount of hormones and other chemicals is getting released, and after a few of those orgasms you simply feel relaxed and do not want any sex anymore.

The above has been my personal experience, but every man is different. I do not know how men have their dry orgasms, but if you draw parallels with women:
- some can have their orgasm just once a day,
- some several times a day with a decreasing intensity/sensitivity,
- some several times a day with a increasing intensity/sensitivity,
- some can have numerous light orgasms all day long,
- some can have several hard and intense orgasms in a row,
- and some can have a long and continuous hard orgasm until they pass out.

Well, looking at the list above, I think men can do the exact same thing. But there is usually some end to these orgasms. The only exception is light orgasms all day long, which is similar to edging and the to more spiritual Tao. Where on this list the folks will end up will depend on the amount they practice/train, and also on simply how they like their sex done. Not all men/women want to experience the whole range. Some just want a few ‘Big-O’s’ and go to bed. Others prefer to enjoy it many different ways. Different stokes for different folks. Good luck!

I just finished Mantak Chia’s “Methods of Cultivating Male Sexual Energy.”

I found it interesting and insightful at times, and weird and “out there” at other times. I consider myself very open minded, so the unusual terminology and concepts don’t completely throw me, but to be honest, I prefer the more “scientific” approach and description. It’s just hard to take it seriously otherwise…

Are there any books written describing “sexual kung fu” or multi-orgasmic / “energy” circulating practices that go as in-depth as this, but without the “woo-woo” terminology and esoteric practices? I have “The Lover Within” by Julie Henderson, but have yet to read it.

I wish Cheeva would just write a whole damn book! :)

Wow. An awesome read. Thanks buddy.

I have a question for the experienced dick control masters.

In Mantak Chia’s book “Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy”, Chia talks about the “Big Draw” method of semen retention, or “halting” ejaculation.

I believe Cheeva has compared this to his “Great Seal”, but if my memory serves me correctly, they are slightly different…

Cheeva’s “Great Seal” is essentially a strong, long held “pulling kegel” (contraction is focused on the anal sphincter muscles.)

Mantak Chia’s “Big Draw” involves 9 hard contractions of the entire pelvic floor in quick succession, while holding the breathe, clenching the buttocks, clenching the teeth, and pulling the “energy” in waves from genitals to head.

I guess the two questions I have are:

1.) What is the difference between 9 hard contractions, and 1 hard, long-held, sustained contraction? Does one method “short circuit” the nerve impulse to ejaculate better than the other method? (BTW, I like the idea of finding out how to best short circuit the nerve impulse to ejaculate versus more esoteric descriptions of “energy” and “pulling the nectar away from the penis” even if they are essentially describing the same thing using different language…)

2.) What really, is the importance of holding the breathe and clenching the teeth and buttocks in Chia’s method? These seem extraneous, but if people have found them to be critical in holding back ejaculation, I will give them a more fair trial…

I am not sure I follow either technique. I just hold it tight when near the PONR, and sometimes try to “pee backwards” mentally. Whatever works, just do not let it squirt.

Sometimes you just need to make a conscious contraction in order to prevent an unconscious. Also, even is the seal is tight, an early conscious contraction is a good idea because it would prevent a dry orgasm, if you do not want a dry orgasm and a temporary loss of erection. And it will still feel good.

I think whether you are holding one, long held, strong kegel, or doing 9 hard contractions, the goal is twofold; decrease the expansion of the glans and thus decreasing surface area and reducing arousal level, and also, to “short-circuit” the nerve impulses to the BC to again, knock arousal down a notch.

I’m not sure about the idea of “circulating the energy” or “spreading it” (ala Cheeva), as that is a bit more esoteric.

What makes sense to me is the obvious decreased glans expansion, and by squeezing the BC/pelvic floor hard enough, and long enough, you essentially “tire out” the nerve signal, and thus can continue stimulation with that reflexive BC pump happening which usually shoots you over the PONR.

My mind then goes to the science behind nerves. What causes an automatic nerve response to lessen? Is it repeated stimulation such that it fatigues? Is it contracting an antagonistic muscle (ala the law of reciprical inhibition, where the contraction of an one muscle causes the antagonistic muscle to relax…), or is it something else?

If there are any neurologists in the house, maybe they could chime in? What does science say about how to stop automatic, involuntary reflexes such as the BC contraction?

*edit* here are some research articles I found

La Pera G, Nicastro A. A new treatment for premature ejaculation: the rehabilitation of the pelvic floor. J Sex Marital Ther 1996; 22: 22–26
-This article looks promising if anyone can find the full text!

MAGNESIUM IN HUMAN SEMEN: POSSIBLE ROLE IN PREMATURE EJACULATION
-Mg+ might have something to do with it? Intuition says this is probably not the biggest factor, but interesting to read if anyone has the full text

Extremely in-depth full text here. Alot of the advanced science is over my head, but it goes into many, many of the causes and treatments

Would someone be nice and explain this for me:

—The Super Pushing Kegel— A Super Pushing Kegel is a strong, long-held kegel incorporating all of the muscles of the pelvic floor, including the anal sphincters, directing the force of the contraction into the penis.

Super Pushing Kegels are useful for ramping up arousal levels and boosting a flagging erection. They are not recommended for pulling back from the PONR or stopping ejaculation. (But feel free to experiment and see how they work for you.)

—The Super Pulling Kegel— A Super Pulling Kegel is the same as a Super Pushing Kegel, but with the force of the contraction pulling in toward the tailbone, away from the penis.

The Super Pulling Kegel is one of the most important techniques for physical mastery of the ejaculatory response. It serves two functions. 1) to pull the “energy” away from your unit, helping to bring arousal down to a manageable level, and 2) to override involuntary BC contractions.

“but with the force of the contraction pulling in toward the tailbone, away from the penis.”

What kind of force? Is it the force i have to imagine me? I find SUper pushing and super pulling the same….? :(

Hope there is someone out there who will explain more how to do Super pulling kegel, im really stuck and would like to see light in the tunel