Dick Control: A Primer

Am I right in that “pull kegel” is BC-focused, and “push kegel” is PC-focused?

I would say the pulling kegel is sphincter/coccyx focused, and the pushing kegel is BC/PC focused. But remember, both entail engaging all of the muscles of the pelvic floor in a strong contraction.

It seems when I BC kegel I automatically PC kegel at the same time. Makes for big huge wood.

There are muscles involved—all of the muscles of the lower pelvis. But yes, you are also training your brain. I would encourage you to read through the entire thread. :)

How long did it take you to master control over when you want to ejaculate. I always practice on my own but whenever I am with someone else it’s like a whole new ballgame. Any ideas?

Thanks,

Dark

Get married? :chuckle:

It took me years. There’s no denying it takes time to master this stuff, but my hope is that having the most essential components compiled in one place can help jump start the process for others.

There is indeed a huge difference between practicing on your own and actually being with another person. It’s very similar to the difference between training and drilling in a martial art vs. being in a real fight. While solo practice is essential, ultimately you can only become a great lover through the actual experience of making love with other people. And chances are that you will “get your ass kicked” plenty of times before you learn to apply technique and skill “in the field.” Then eventually you move beyond mere technique and really start engaging with the moment. :)

So idea #1 is “practice makes perfect.”

Idea #2: Take the pressure off of yourself to “perform” and instead just enjoy being with the other person. Synchronize your breathing with hers. Smell the nape of her neck, the small of her back. Let your hands, fingers and mouth be instruments for communicating your arousal to her and in turn getting her aroused. Pass your arousal on to her. Learn how to give a good sensual massage and eat pussy like a champ. Tease her. Lean her specific erogenous zones. Find out where her G Spot is and how sensitive it is. Ditto her clit. You should be best friends with both these areas (i.e. be able to give her toe-curling orgasms through either or both) before your dick gets anywhere near her pussy. Take your time. Which leads into…

Idea #3: Try and forget about your dick completely. In other words, learn to completely and utterly pleasure a woman without using your dick at all! Forget about yourself and focus on her. Eventually she will be begging you to “put it in!”

At the same time, while all of the above is going on, try to cultivate a “witness consciousness” that watches how you are responding to the moment—a detached, non-judgmental part of yourself that merely observes what’s going on. This is your inner teacher.

Idea #4: Make it a general policy to only insert your penis into a vagina that has already had at least one orgasm. That way any masterful dicking down you do will just be bonus points. :) Eventually (after perhaps a couple of years or so of partner practice?) you may test yourself and see if you can give her one or more with dick alone and still be “cool.” So make sure she comes at least once before you move on to…

Idea #5: When you do finally succumb to her pleas to “put it in!” GO VERY VERY SLOWLY! Continue to tease her by just putting the head in and then withdrawing completely. Just as you used your hands, fingers and mouth, use your penis as a tool to drive her crazy with desire. Holding the shaft, stir your glans around the root of her clit, then gently insert the head and stir around the opening until she’s arching her hips up and trying to grab your cock with her pussy to pull you in. STILL CONTINUE TO TEASE HER! Pull back completely and focus on her breasts for awhile or go down on her again. A side benefit of this is that it gives your dick and brain some time to adjust to the sensation/thought, “Yay, I’m in a pussy!” At the same time, the more aroused she is, the closer to orgasm she is, and you want her as close as possible before putting it in. She should be as hot as possible and you should be as cool as possible.

Idea #6: When you do finally get around to the dicking down proper, continue to think of your unit as a massage tool that you are using to relax and stimulate her vagina. “massage” every inch of her labia and inner walls with your cock—hit it from different angles, and when you only have the first few inches in, hold your unit so you can stir and control the pressure of your “magic wand” on her vaginal walls. Continue to focus on her pleasure rather than your own. To this end, if you feel your own arousal getting high and feel like you might lose control, STOP and go back to doing everything up to Idea #4. Again, you want her to continue getting hotter and hotter while you stay cool. This is the foundation, and what “cycling” is all about. Instead of “passing your arousal on to her” through your dick directly (which will very quickly lead to ejaculation) pass it on through passionate kisses and actually feel the “energy” moving out through your tongue. Keep good eye contact and continue to focus on her pleasure. Stay relaxed and don’t forget to breath.

Idea #7: Don’t forget that “witness consciousness” thing.

Idea #8: Dick Control is a state of mind. :)

The above ideas are all merely prerequisites—the equivalent of keeping your guard up or having good stance in fighting. The actual application of the content of the OP with a partner, and then moving beyond that, comes only with time and continued experience.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

On a sidenote: Easing her into at least one of the big Os allows you to stay away from feeling pressured to perform.
There is nothing able to kill a good performance in spe than feeling a pressure to have to perform.

Oh, and of course relaxing helps.. as completely as you can. Let her work you, too. Move her into you while as well when you are more active. I’m on lots of the topic at hand (yep, lol) with Daniel Rose. :)

Ys

Yup. The best defense is a good offense. Or is it the other way around? :sheepdo:

Thanks a lot! Suffice it to say that this is an awesome, Awesome, AWESOME thread and following posts respectively.

Thanks,

Dark

Great stuff man. Thanks for taking the time to put this together!

My pleasure. Thanks for reading. :)

Thanks a lot for the great info! I have been doing regular kegels for about a year now, however this stuff changed my routines completely and hopefully will work.

Serge, I see you edited your post, but you were asking about the difference between pushing and pulling kegels. I try and explain it in detail here: cheeva - Dick Control: A Primer

Thanks for reading, and good luck!

I have a widened exterior sphincter from prostate massaging but have still managed to keep my internal sphincter tight. When I perform a kegel, super pulling, I can feel the internal immediately flex but the external weakly if at all flexes. I am kind of self conscious about it, well I am, I want my girlfriend to see a tight ass if she decides to go exploring down there with her tongue or fingers. Is there any technique that really isolates that muscle and can essentially tone it down to a smaller size? I was thinking of a small anal bead with string attached; I would pull the bead out while squeezing/pulling the sphincter muscles…try providing resistance maybe? Anyway I have now reached the point where I can Internal Lock right before PONR and receive a slight orgasm with a small bit of semenal fluid escaping my penis… I don’t lose my entire erection or libido/energy… it goes down to an 80% which I can quickly work back up and do the process over again. So the Kegels are working. Are there any better methods of developing that muscle which strenghtens your erections/bloodflow/and ultimately regulates what goes down the shaft and what doesn’t. Kegels with weights, or maybe even in certain positions like kneeling versus standing.

Thanks again Siddhartha

-Bugs