Dick Control: A Primer

Thanks a lot cheeva, great thread.

I have taken my quest for multiple orgasms one step further, the different kegels and the “pulling kegel” in particular helped me a great deal.

When I do kegels now I usually go pull-push, relax, push-pull, relax.

I’m glad to hear this thread’s helped, willy. And thanks for sharing the pull-push routine.

Something I probably should have done a long time ago is post links to previous related threads on this topic. Reading through some of them shortly after becoming a member here inspired me to start this one, and perhaps some people who are trying to put all the pieces together can gain from them. What I noticed was that most of those earlier threads ended up getting really esoteric and "spiritual," leaving a lot of curious folks more confused than enlightened. So this thread was intended as a bare bones, pragmatic introduction to the basics.

Since this thread’s been around for over a year now, it might be safe to crack the door open a little wider. So here are some of the previous major threads relevant to Dick Control:

Sexual Kung-Fu
PE and Sexual Kung Fu
Seminal Kung Fu and Crown Chakra Orgasms
Sweet rewards - ballooning works
Tantric sex
Sexual Energy and Withholding Ejaculation

It would be great if any contributors to these threads would chime in here as well, particularly pertaining to explaining or clarifying the basic techniques outlined here. There is a wealth of wisdom and knowledge here at Thunder’s!

Great thread! But one question…..

What if she wants you to fuck her during foreplay yet she hasn’t had an orgasm or she’s holding back the orgasm? Tell her to let go or something? :D

Have a quick couple of questions for cheeva. I’ve figured out how to do the super pushing and pulling kegels I believe. What is a good routine to do everyday to build up your kegel strength? How many to do of each?

Also, I’ve noticed when edging, that when I try a super pulling kegel while erect, it makes me get to the ponr sooner if I continue stimulation while trying to hold it.

If I’m erect and stop stimulation and do a few super pulling kegels my erection goes down like it should. I’m just wondering if this is normal at first and after awhile if I will be able to do super pulling kegels without stopping stimulation pull myself back from ponr.

I’m trying like hell to get rid of the premature ejaculation. I never had it before I met my new girl which is very frustrating. I was with my last girlfriend for 5 years and never really suffered from it.

Also, does caffeine play any role in pe, because I’ve been drinking alot for awhile now and was just curious. And does diet and exercise play a role too?

Like I said, I’m did finally figure out the pushing and pulling kegel which is a start, but still need some advice. Your dick control primer is a great thread. Do you suggest anything to imagine or focus on while breathing to focus the energy out of the genitals and throughout the body? I try to focus on that in between breaths, but not sure the best way.

I know it takes time to get better, so I guess I’m just looking for some motivation to get past the initial start. How many times do you recommend practicing edging a week and how long a session?

Sorry for all the questions, but I just need some help and would like to be you to me my mentor. Lol. Any suggestion or advice is much appreciated!

For those of you who have really committed to dick control, have you noticed steady, if not exponential, improvement in your performance? I always do kegels for 2 months, and see a moderate improvement, but expected more. So I get discouraged, complacent, and then it slips through the cracks. I’m just curious what happens past the two month mark? Can anyone throw out a vague timeline on improvement that they saw? I’m not saying my results will be the same, I just need to see a goal farther down the road that others have attained after X amount of time. Thanks.

Sorry for not replying sooner, been very busy.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to beg off on the personal mentor thing— I’m no good at it, and frankly it’s way too much work. I also don’t want to get into prescribing x number of exercises or rigid routines. The idea is to get in touch with your own body and unit and find out what works for you. The stuff I’ve posted so far in this thread is intended to jump start that process and give some general guidelines and tips.

Somewhere in this thread I posted about the balance of stimulation/non-stimulation right at the PONR when doing a super pulling kegel—a lot of ground has been covered. Basically, you can experiment with how much stimulation you can handle (if any) while applying a pulling kegel.

I’ve never promoted the methods in this thread as a cure for Premature ejaculation—although I do believe it might help in some cases. I’m honestly not qualified to tell people how to cure PE.

I suggest avoiding visualization/fantasy while doing these exercises, and instead focus on tuning into your body and the sensations you’re experiencing. By all means try out different breathing patterns, and practice focusing the energy in different parts of your body (OK, I suppose that’s a kind of visuatization :) )

Beyond a certain point it gets kind of tough to explain this stuff, and I don’t want to give the impression it’s a paint-by-numbers kind of thing.

Caffeine may play a role in PE—I know many believe it does. I however drink a ton of it. :)

Sorry if this is kind of vague, but I hope it helps a little.

I wish you success in your practice, and hope that you stick with it.

TC,

I always fall into the same trap as you.

I’d like to hear from guys with more experience, as well. And like TC said, I’m not looking for a specific “after two months, you will get X result every time,” but just a general idea of their experience/time-line.

Thanks

Thanks Cheeva. Just have a few more things to throw out there. I know you have covered how to do pulling/pushing kegels and I think I have them down. I’ve found that if you put your finger on either your perineum or tip of your tailbone and do both you can tell a difference. With the pushing kegel you can feel your tailbone/perineum kinda move up and out. With a pulling kegel I’ve noticed that you can feel your tailbone/perineum move back or away from your penis. Does this make sense since the pushing kegel is pushing the contraction out towards the penis and the pulling kegel pulls the contraction away from the penis?

Also, I edged the other day for 20 minutes while in a sitting a position and never got close to the ponr, then switched to edging on my knees. When I switched to the kneeling position, I felt the ponr approach very fast. I tried to stop stimulation, did some pulling kegels. Then tried again and got back to ponr fast again and couldn’t hold it.

Anyways, why would the position with the same stimulation have that much affect on how quick the ponr approaches? I’m curious what physically happens to make that happen.

I’ve just started practicing edging and kegels so my are pc/bc muscles are not that strong yet. It’s normally takes about 3 or 4 super pulling kegels to erection to subside, but hopefully with practice I will be able to do 1 strong hold.

Since I don’t really get to ponr fast while sitting, maybe I should focus on the kneeling position while edging and see if I can keep the ponr back?

What do you think? Thanks again for your time.

This thread is incredible. Thank you Cheeva and everyone else who contributed!

The way I understand it, the goal is not to gain the total control of you dick, but to learn to enjoy it any way you want it. And to please your woman while at it. The trap is to ease up and start ejaculating every time sex happens. The other pitfall is not to have sex often enough and lose the muscle tone.

To avoid this, just start having more sex and ejaculate less. Your sexual energy and sense of well-being will go through the roof. All these exercises are good, but they are there just to get your muscles to start working, and to help you figure out which muscles do what. Once you mastered your dick, you won’t need to any more exercises, just practice. I have never been big into kegels and I haven’t done any for years. But I do have sex at least several times a week, or several times a day whenever possible.

There was a formula posted somewhere how often to ejaculate. I remember for 35-yo it’s once a week, for a 25-yo it’s twice a week, and for a 45-50 yo it’s something like once in 2 weeks or something. You get the idea. But having sex or masturbating should be done way more often than that. Practice and enjoy. Once you learn to enjoy sex regardless of ejaculation — you are already there.

I think it took me just one good long edging session and I was hooked. My brain almost melted the first time, but I survived and really liked it. The secret to enjoyment and full satisfaction is to keep a steady pace, by controlling the muscles and without constantly resorting to the stop-and-go, all while being near the PONR. Channeling the energy correctly also helps. There is no real timeline here, as far as I know. You just get better over time while having fun. Have fun!

On Dr. Victoria Zdrok’s radio show she had an expert guest whose name I don’t recall, but he said “There’s no such thing as premature ejaculation. Orgasm will come when it’s inevitable. It’s only premature if one climaxes and then stops working to please one’s partner before she or he has had enough.”

I am getting so sick of some of these premature women. Why do they stop working when I still want to keep working them?

I’ve been doing some of the things in Cheeva’s first post and here is my experience:

Learning to relax the BC (or is it PC, or IC, or whatever…) is THE CRITICAL ELEMENT in delaying ejaculation. It is SO reflexive for me to have that muscle (I will call it the BC even though I’m not sure if that is scientifically accurate) contract upon stimulation of the penis (especially when stimulating myself just under the glans).

Actively relaxing the body while stroking myself, taking deep breathes and focusing on relaxing what feels like all the muscles in and around my penis (anus, BC/PC, etc) keeps the level of arousal low (meaning I don’t feel like orgasm is imminent even though the erection is strong).

Also, I’ve been experimenting with reverse kegels in the middle of stimulation with pretty cool results! I’ve noticed that as I am stroking, if I try to “push my anus out” as if I am taking a dump or trying to increase to force of urine when peeing, this tends to relax the muscles that clamp down on the penis during orgasm and seems to delay the PONR feeling!

The key seems to be relaxing the right pelvic floor muscles AND “pushing out” fairly hard (distending the anus).

For me, the above is VERY promising. I feel like with more practice and gaining a better “mind muscle connection” with these pelvic floor muscles (especially the ones responsible for the reverse kegelling), I will be able to continue thrusting in those hot and heavy moments of sex (where I usually get pushed over the PONR) and prolong the sexing.

I’d love to hear CHEEVA’s thoughts about these “reverse kegels” or whatever you call the “move” that relaxes the grip of the muscles around the base of the penis (and when done properly seems to fill the head of the penis with more blood.) Sometimes when I try to “reverse kegel” the head balloons up, and other times it does not….to me this indicates that I still haven’t mastered relaxing the appropriate muscles in that moment.

CHEEVA, would you say that this forced relaxation (reverse kegelling) could be used during sex as the PONR is approaching to delay orgasm?

This post addresses the mechanical issues of mastering dick control, and I’m hopeful that mastering the mental relaxation in concert with the mechanical side of things will soon allow for true “dick mastery”!

I have a question to dick control experts in this thread. has anyone been able to learn how to achieve an erection voluntarily without using hands? I think this could be the ultimate dick control skill!

Ace — I think the answer to your questions would be a yes. You are on the right path.