No More Porn For Me

Now I realise that this might not be the most popular idea on a forum like Thunders, but I’ve come to the realisation that porn has significant negative affects. I’ve made a decision not to watch porn any more. The main driver for this was that I pretty much lost my libido. I don’t get morning wood. I don’t get spontaneous erections. I don’t feel horny without porn. I’ve had trouble getting hard when I’m with women. I can dance with a hot girl pressed up against me and not feel anything physically. I’m cerebrally aware that the girl is hot, but nothing happens downstairs.

I put this down to prolonged, excessive use of porn to the exclusion of sex with women. I won’t go into the depths of depravity of my porn addiction (and yes it is an addiction), but suffice it to say that for years, I was jerking off to porn at least once a day and for multiple orgasms. Over time it became really hard to get off without porn and it ruined my sex life. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and I put it down to porn addiction. I am addicted to porn.

Anyone who doesn’t believe porn is addictive is severely deluding themselves. That’s not to say that everyone who watches porn becomes addicted, but you do run that risk. Not everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic, but some people do and the results can be devastating. The research I’ve been doing shows that porn is unquestionably addictive and is very similar to drugs in the effect it has on the brain. Brain scans comparing cocaine use to porn use are nearly identical. Porn hijacks the brains reward circuitry, which is fueled by dopamine, in a very similar way to certain drugs like cocaine and amphetamines.

If you want to read more about porn and its effects on the brain, check out this site http://www.reuniting.info and there are many other well researched sites out there.

I’m not saying porn is all bad. I’m not religious. I’m not a feminist. However, I believe that porn causes significant problems, even for those who aren’t addicted. Here’s my list of the evils of porn:

(1) Porn exploits women. Do not kid yourselves. I’ve done a lot of reading on the lives of female porn stars and after you’ve read a number, you start to see a very familiar pattern. Basically it’s something like: girl starts out like any other normal girl but lives in an emotionally distant family. Often these girls come from quite strict religious backgrounds. Usually the father figure is completely unable to show love towards his daughter. Girl hits puberty and falls out with parents. The rift grows and the girl acts out more and more. Girl discovers men. Girl discovers they can get the attention Daddy doesn’t provide by using sex to manipulate men. Parents can’t handle it. Parents kick girl out of home. Girl is on the street. Girl meets pimp. Girl turns to prostitution. Girl gets at least one STI. Girl turns to porn because she believes it’s safer and the money is better. It’s not. Girl continues her descent into oblivion and gets addicted to drugs, dies, maybe both. Sometimes the girl gets out of the lifestyle and then usually becomes a born again Christian. The most repetitive theme I noticed was this. THESE WOMEN HATE MEN. They are doing porn to take money, drugs, property, anything they can from men and they are allowing themselves to be exploited to do it, but to them it’s worth it. They look in the camera and they smile and they tease and they moan with lust, but THEY FUCKING LOATH YOU. They have utter contempt for the men who are watching and ultimately paying their wages.

(2) Porn exploits men. It used to be titty mags, then came VHS, then came the Internet. The Internet brought 24/7 unlimited access to more porn than any one man could hope to consume in his entire life. Porn is becoming more violent and mysogynistic (hardcore) to keep fueling mens desires as they develop a tolerance for harder and freakier stuff. Porn movies outsell Hollywood movies by at least 2 orders of magnitude. The porn industry has become very slick. They have worked out how to make porn more and more addictive and men are buying it, downloading it, watching it in epidemic numbers. The porn industry has figured out men’s vulnerability to porn and is exploiting this as much as they can. Men’s brains are wired to like images and movies of a variety of naked females, in a way that women’s brains simply are not. I see this as exploitation. Whether you admit it or not, you’re paying for porn. My you’re not paying directly with site memberships, but you’re paying in bandwidth costs, you’re paying in your free time and, probably most alarmingly, you paying with your libido (maybe a little, maybe a lot).

(3) Porn can make men insecure about their bodies, especially the size of their penis. When I started watching porn I was convinced I was small, when I’m above average at 6.5" x 6.5". No woman has ever said I was small. I was never teased in the locker room. I got that idea from porn. The reality is, anything above a legitimate NPB 7" is very big.

(4) Porn is bad sex ed. Kids are being exposed to porn earlier and earlier, before sex ed. classes and before they have real experiences with real women. This gives skewed expectations. Porn is not realistic. Generally, women don’t like rough sex. They don’t like DP. They don’t like jizz in their eyes. They don’t like being tag teamed. They don’t orgasm just from blowing guys. They can’t magically take a 7+ inch cock up the ass without flinching. They don’t like being man-handled. They don’t like being treated like pieces of meat. OK, these are generalisations, some women like this stuff and some women like it occasionally to spice things up. But generally, this stuff is all bullshit. These girls are actresses and the second that camera goes off, they go throw up in the corner and then come back and say, "where’s my fucking cheque?".

(5) Porn detracts from men’s ability to appreciate real women. Maybe it’s on only a little, so you don’t appreciate your partner’s naked body as much anymore. Or maybe it’s a lot and you’re like a lot of kids now who can’t even get hard unless it’s front of screen with a tube of lube in one hand and their dick in the other. I used to get butterflies at the hint of a woman’s g-string on the bus. Now it takes horse-fucking-midget porn. There’s something wrong with that (I’m exaggerating but you know what I mean). The natural female form is stunningly beautiful, but porn is training us to only like orange tanned, asshole bleached, fake tittied, vaginally rejuvenated, rakes with shit for brains. That is not a good thing gentlemen.

I used to believe that porn was just awesome entertainment with no down side. Now I know I was wrong. I choose not to watch porn any more. Some guys can watch porn and experience no negative affects or only minor ones. I’m not that guy. I’m not saying all porn is bad and no guy should watch it, just don’t fool yourself. There’s an evil side to porn and you should acknowledge the bargain you are making with yourself. I’m addicted to porn and I need to reset my brain. So I’m abstaining from porn and masturbation for at least 2 months and then I’ll see where I’m at. That’s no porn, no erotic stories, no lingerie catalogues, no magazines, no jerking off for 2 months. I’ve just passed week 4 and I’m already starting to notice changes. This could be the best thing I’ve ever done for my sexual health.

I’ll let you all know how it goes in a month or so. All comments welcome. It would be cool to hear from guys who have had similar experiences and have turned their backs on the porn so I know I’m not alone here. :-P

Thanks for reading.

Interesting read.

I worked in porn. I still shoot an amateur scene or two every chance I get. I could take issue and argue with every point you state as being so much fact. Except the fact that you viewed it too much and became dependant on it for any and all sexual release. So, I just wish you the best with your new lifestyle. Don’t blame porn, plenty of people enjoy it responsibly.

I’m not “blaming” porn. I take full responsibility for my situation. I’m didn’t say ban it or don’t watch it. I just think people need to be honest about the downside. And I acknowledged that some people can watch it and still lead a healthy life. I can drink alcohol and be fine, but I can’t watch porn. I’m just not one of those guys who can watch it and not go to excess and I’m not the only one. I choose not to watch it anymore and I’m hoping people who can relate to this post consider what I’ve written and make they’re own decision. There are plenty of people on this site who use porn daily to aid with PE and they are susceptible to the same pitfalls of addiction, as any man is. You can take issue with my points. They are generalisations. Funny thing about generalisations is that they’re generally true.

I very much agree on the effects of porn addiction. My own experience of 17 years of watching internet porn supports your conclusions. It is addictive. When I was younger, its negative effect was a lot of wasted time. Now, as I got older, it’s main effect is lowering my EQ. My brain needs stronger stimuli to get a boner than real life, real women could supply, so it’s a burn-out effect.

I’d like to join a “no more porn for me” initiative (there are quite a few on the Forum), but I don’t feel I have the strength yet… Only for a couple of days :)

That’s exactly what I think of porn. Not more porn for me too!

Maybe we can make a group,to help each other. Just an idea.

Onanists anonymous? :lisa:

^ That’s easier to deal with! I quit masturbation long time ago in favor of hetero sex, but watching porn is still an addiction…

Giving up porn has been the best choice I’ve made in the past year.

Yeah this would be cool. It really helps having people you can talk to about it to help you stay on track. Any ideas on how we’d start a group?

My birthday is at the end of September and my short term goal is not to watch any porn or jerk off until then to reset my brain and my dopamine levels. I’ll probably have a birthday jerk to celebrate, but without using porn to assist. I’m done with porn for good but not entirely done with masturbation. I really want to cut down masturbation for EQ and libido reasons but porn is defintely a no go for me from now on. The long I go the easier it gets to just not watch it but I’m having withdrawal symptoms like headaches, insomnia, getting sick, low energy, restless legs etc. These were pretty bad the first couple of weeks but it’s starting to improve.

I’m IN!

Starting right now! I just recently watched Sasha Grey getting gang banged and whatnot. Oh man. You are so dead right about the list you just made.

You know the scariest thing that you found is that porn has a similar effect that cocain has. I don’t want my brain being affected that way! I wouldn’t say I’m addicted. I have gone long stretches without watching porn and then fallen into it again. It is beginning to get more frequent than it was before. Maybe this is something to nip in the bud. I was raised in a Christian home and I know that quite apart from the physical side effects, it is also morally wrong. I have even less of an excuse than others for what I am doing.

I have had such an initiative before finding Thunders.

The first step was to wipe out all the porn from my comp.

The second step was to delete also those porn files I couldn’t give up at step 1! :)

Unfortunately, streaming video had its break through…

Deleted all the links to fine porn sites.

These measures were of some help for some time. The bad habit always prevailed when I was alone for some time (wife temporarily absent). I came to the conclusion that there should be some major reason, or a really strong determination to quit porn! I noticed that I couldn’t rely on determination. The major reason came as a bad surprise, when I noticed first time that I have EQ problems after watching porn. As it was not a singular case but became a rule, I knew porn has to stop. Now my sex life has become even more active than before, so I cannot afford the luxury of low EQ!

Good luck to anyone choosing to quit, it can be done. There are support groups for quitting for those who have problems. Celebrate Recovery is one that has local meetings, they have a sex addict group that is usually full of men who are trying to quit and give each other encouragement. It is Christian based.

I have found that true intimacy with my wife, not just sex, is much greater when I am porn free. Better relations with wife leads to a happier wife and children, whom I am responsible for.

My problem is remaining porn free.

I quit porn quite a while ago.

I wish I could get back all that wasted time.