Frustrating Negative Of PE For Me

I’m kind of frustrated with a negative aspect of PE for me.

Gradually I began to question my motivation for doing PE over the last 6 weeks and I think it has caused a big loss in EQ during sex.

I started to ask what was wrong with me that I needed to do PE. The first 6 weeks was fine as I was excited about the process but gradually the mental part of things began to spiral down.

It sucks since I have great night wood so I know it’s all in my head.

I stopped PE for a couple weeks without benefit but then I was a quitter who didn’t work his way through the issues. It is a conundrum for me.

I’m not sure where to go from here but thought getting it off my chest would help.

Make sure you’re not over training or expecting immediate results. PE should be fun and something you look forward to doing.

I think it’s really all in your head and you need to keep on doing PE no matter what! It’s just better to feel you do what you can to enlarge the penis and I think that is very beneficial for the sexual health.

I’m definitely not overdoing it from a frequency and duration aspect. When I do stretches and wet jelques I might be a bit high intensity-wise. Probably too much red spotting.

Maybe sticking with a regular schedule will help mentally.

As it stands now, I have no interest at all in masterbating after a session. Does this indicate the need to switch things up?

It indicates that you should take 2 weeks off, go out, enjoy life and forget about stupid things. I read in the paper it’s spring so go enjoy it.

You need to know and be comfortable with the “why you are doing PE”. Can you get there?

That’s a good idea.

Consider the reason(s) for doing PE to see if that will add insight to things.

Have a beer and a pizza while you think. It works for me.

It shifts here and there, but one of the best things you can do is get out of your own head a bit. I learned this with weight loss, but gained PE confidence the same way. The important part is the journey, and I don’t mean that in a superfluous way. It takes patience and testing, but with tenacity results will come. We all want gains, but you will find the key part of it all is the confidence gained. The take away is, it should be time to marvel at yourself a bit. Self play and improvement both mental and physical, not an arduous task. Back it down to a level where you are getting pleasure out of the process again.

I think my motivation is the key to this.

I don’t think I was aware or honest about it. I kept saying I was doing this for sexual and partner reasons but I was fooling myself.

After a lot of thinking and reading on here, I have to say that I am doing this almost entirely for myself.

I’ve never had a lot of confidence and always had a negative self image. I don’t think it’s bad to want this for myself.

I workout 3 times a week for myself so I’m going to accept that I do PE for myself as well.

Realistically, if you don’t know your motivation for something, is it really going to be satisfying or successful?

No.

I had probably 17 really good reasons for doing PE but after 6 years I boiled it down to a raw feeling of inadequacy that I was taught to believe about myself.

Saying I wanted harder erections and to make my partners orgasm sounded great. But it was only a partial truth.

Can’t fight darkness with dishonesty.

I suppose PE is just one self improvement method not unlike many others.

I’ve tried others but never really stuck to many at all. Kind of like a New year’s resolution that you say without really being motivated. Others around you are making them so why not you.

I’m glad I started this thread because looking at my motivation wasn’t something I had even considered.

I’m going to try a short heat/stretch/jelque session tomorrow and think of it as my time to do something for me. I feel encouraged and I’m looking forward to it.

I say this all the time but i will say it here:

PE is like a martial art. It requires time, discipline, learning your body and having fun to stick to it and get good at it.

Take that as you will, self improvement has many veins indeed.

I hear you. I felt the same way. And I think you are right, it isn’t bad to want this. But one thing I have gradually come to understand and accept is that I had been for years needlessly beating myself up over this feeling of inadequacy. I’ve read many posts here on Thunder’s from guys with statistically very large penises who also felt like they were too small. And it’s stupid. I’m not saying they didn’t feel that way; I believe them when they say that they felt that way. But why should so many men feel this way? Why should ANY of us feel this way?

To all of us, I say this. We need to learn to be comfortable with who we already are. Don’t be embarrassed, ever. Be confident, even if you really are below average in size. So what? It doesn’t really matter. Most of your potential partners are more interested in the man attached to your dick than in the dick attached to the man. You can sexually please most of your partners, regardless.

So go ahead and do PE if you want, but never feel that you need to do it. You aren’t broken, you are fine the way you already are. And don’t hold back from opportunities out of fear. If you do the best you can with what you have then there are no reasons for regrets.

Interesting the way this thread is developing. After reading TG’s searingly honest post, I thought I would also add some thoughts.

For myself, I always had an exceptionally high sexual awareness from an early age, but home issues and a complete lack of confidence when I was young, turned me inwards upon myself. Frequent masturbation for me became a way of avoiding any serious relationships and everything that came with them that I felt I could not provide.

Stuff like my mum having an affair and parents that slept in separate rooms is difficult to reconcile in the young mind. To make things more difficult, both parents were highly respected people. I learnt to separate love,sex,happiness and success and eventually work on them separately. This statement in itself goes a long way to describing the confusion of a child and young adult who has not been subjected to harmony and love for long periods. The fallout is that you try far too hard at everything, and this sets you up for failing.

looking back, I realise I am great at all those things now, and have finally found complete bonding with- yep- a girl I met in school many years ago. Together we have worked through her issues, my issues and relationship issues. I truthfully had up to then given up. We are completely bonded.

I recently found out I also suffer from ADHD, and this constant looking for a hit of some sort played a major part in striving for success and obtaining failure. It also means that if I want a hit, I can unzip.. To hold myself and indulge in P.E. gives me a huge mental safety valve and I’m not involving, hurting or disrespecting anyone else while I do so.