Animal experiments

Your friend was a graduate student and, I would suspect, performed the chimp procedures at the university - not in his basement. Undoubtedly, the university had the proper permits to perform those procedures and it was left up to them to properly execute the necessary permissions.
I’m not just bullshitting. This goes back years and years. If you ever read about the Zodiac serial killer in Calif back in the 1960’s-70’s. They had a prime suspect and one day when they searched the guy’s apartment they found a bunch of squirrels - some live, some dead, some frozen, others were even stuck to boards with pegs. The detectives said, “Aha! We can bring him in on these charges.” And they hoped to work him over. Alas, he produced the necessary permits to conduct those experiments, and so they had to leave him be (but permits were required - and still are). If you have an doubts, just contact your local SPCA or even a police department.
I am certain that you are mistaken.

You might be right wad, I don’t know any of the details. But what about dissection? Kids dissect animals all the time in class rooms, and sometimes the kids even have to kill the animals with their hands.

Animal cruelty is a crime, but humane experimentation? What I am proposing is much more humane than what happens to animals all the time at the hands of some ne’er-do-well teenagers. Ie, throwing cats out windows, shooting frogs up the asshole, and other messed up stories you hear. The most they get is a grouded.

Tube,
I was just trying to offer you some advice - not get into a running argument….

The Rising Tide of Animal Experimentation: Animal Welfare Act Violations - World Laboratory Animal Liberation Week

animal welfare act (from 1967)

http://www.nal. usda.gov/awic/n … n1/8n1brown.htm

some aspects of legal requirements:

animal welfare act & regulations:

http://www.nal. usda.gov/awic/l … at/usdaleg1.htm

Code of Federal Regulations, Title 9, Chapter 1, Subchapter A - Animal Welfare. Available from: USDA, APHIS/Animal Care, 4700 River Rd., Unit 85, Riverdale, MD 20737-1234.

"The Regulations section includes subparts for licensing, registration, research facilities, attending veterinarians and adequate veterinary care…."

It’s just that if I say I’m certain, then I’m certain. You go right ahead and start jelqing German Shepherds or cutting their cocks open - just hope that the prison they send you to has some Internet time for the inmates, that way you’ll be able to continue posting here at least.

- wad

Hmmm,

I guess I could call the police station or try to find the answer from a lawyer. I wasn’t overlooking this issue, I had just planned to address it later in the process.

Tube, no offense, but I think you are a thinker, not a doer.

Well, I see this as a moot point, as animal experiments are usually used when human experiments are impossible, impractical, or impracticable. This is not the case here. Why use animal data, data that even the most ardent supporter of animal research will admit is not perfectly applicable to humans, when so much human data is available? Isn’t Tub the one doing the data analysis on Size’s Database anyway?

>Tube, no offense, but I think you are a thinker, not a doer.

Maybe so, but I give him credit for starting the funniest damn thread I have read since becoming a member here. Thunder ought to sticky this one so that, when any of us are having a shitty day, we can pull it up and laugh our asses off.

You gotta love his avatar too.

This is the point. Why use real guinea pigs when we already have thousands of willing human guinea pigs ready to experiment? Everyone here is taking a risk in screwing up their wang for life. They are doing so willingly. That is percisely why we don’t need animals to experiment on.

Why don’t you build/rent some kind of dormitory where you can monitor a bunch of prospective PE’ers? You would have to find x number of PE virgins, and then give them some line like if they did any additional exercises or used supplementary products then it would skew the results. It will be hard getting a grant for a study of this magnitude, but I think it could be possible.

Re: “Animal cruelty is a crime, but humane experimentation? What I am proposing is much more humane than what happens to animals all the time at the hands of some ne’er-do-well teenagers. Ie, throwing cats out windows, shooting frogs up the asshole, and other messed up stories you hear. The most they get is a grouded.”

…and I’m sure the animals will be thankful that there’s a purpose to their suffering as opposed to the meaningless violence perpetrated by shithead kids.

(that was sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.)

I am a premed student and i work in a research lab that uses mice, rats and monkeys and I know for a fact you DO need a licence to operate on live animals. P.E.T.A is all over our asses anytime we do a new controversial experiment and they are always trying to get our licence revoked. They have freed our animals numerous times in the past and now we have a heavily protected lab with 3 levels of security clearance. What you speak of…without a licence…would be considered animal cruelty even though im all for animals with big dicks.

Anyway im intrested in a study like this and I think its a great idea and I may do research in PE in the future, however for now i have 2 more years of hard work before medical school.

To sum this all up, good idea, but you do need a licence.

Later
Mrp

Can you imagine PETA coming in to the lab to release all the experimental animals and seeing them run away with these footlong schlongs dragging behind them?

Yepp, especially the two tailed mice. :) )

Ok, because of legal issues experiments on large size animals is currently stalled. I have a new idea.

First take a look at this article .

The article describes the research of a woman who is apparently the only scientific researcher engaged in a study of penile biomechanics in different species. The article is interesting in and of itself but one detail of the article got me thinking.

In the article a paragraph on the second page describes the unique collagenous structure of the penis. The penis is comprised of two layers of orthogonally aligned collagenous membranes. Apparently it is the only known tissue in all of animal anatomy with this unique collagenous alignment. Other collagenous membranes are comprised of collagen in crossed helices, apparently oriented randomly. One interesting species is mentioned that has such a collagenous structure: worms.

Now here me out. The penis appears to be unique in its orthogonal arrays of collagen but that does not mean we can’t experiment on the elongation of other collagenous structures. How relevant to penis elongation would it be? Well I can not predict that, but I do believe it would be somewhat relevant.

Allow me to market these earthworm experiments to you a little. Imagine what would happen if we were able to triple the size an earthworm through traction. Well, for one, we would have one scary looking earthworm. But what if we were able to get ourselves in the Guinness book of world records? That would be cool. What if we were able to get ourselves on the local news? That would be cool too. News stations are always looking for "grabber/teaser" stories that get peoples attention and force them to watch until the end of the program. A foot long earthworm!! I think that might make people "stay tuned". Ever hear of those pumpkin growing contests? I’ve seen them featured on tv a couple times. What if we were able to spawn a whole new cult following of "earthworm stretchers". That would be pretty cool. This is just the thing for rural farmer kids to do with their spare time. If it became popular people would experiment with different techniques of stretching earthworms - in essence developing new PE techniques without them realizing PE even existed. Having a giant earthworm is just the type of story that could show up on Yahoo news (the oddly enough section). Maybe even Twat would write the story for us!

Aside from these fun aspects, there are scientific aspects. I don’t think anyone has experimented on earthworms in this way. What we discover might have applications in other scientific areas, such as tendon/ligament stretching. I don’t know every area where this might have application to, but I’m guessing there would be some. We may even be able to get a paper published (a paper that does not mention PE).

In short here are the advantages:
1) earthworms are cheap.
2)animal rights groups don’t really care about them, so no one will raise a fuss.
3) earthworms are basically collagenous tubes similar to the penis.
4)we might be able to get some media attention.
5)we might be able to get some scientific attention.

-Tube

How do you jelq a worm?

We all know that if you cut a worm in half he re-grows the severed end and ends up cloning himself. Now, if we cut our dicks in half, will the head end grow balls and will the other end grow a new head-I think not.

You need a different type of organism, maybe some type of plant or root.

joshua