Guys, don't let this happen to you...stay focused on PE dammit!

My consistency with keeping up the PE process has taken a major fucking downhill slide these past several months and I don’t even know what the point is of trying to restart everything again. Even if I start PEing again after I’m done posting this thread, I have a feeling that I’m probably just going to abruptly stop PEing 4 - 5 weeks from now, and this process will repeat itself again and again. I suddenly decide to come back here and read through the threads, and it “remotivates” me to go back into PEing, only to fall flat on my face after a few weeks pass and I get bored again. I have a feeling this has become a never ending cycle for me. Now that I’ve realized all of this, I feel like a failure in so many ways, and it’s like my PEing cycle has reached an incredible low, like I’m literally “cock teasing” myself, pretending I’m going to make gains by starting PE and then stopping PE every few months.

The most recent incident I had with this was the beginning of summer 2003 when I started slacking off with the PEing in very big ways. I completely stopped jelqing altogether on the last week of June cause I felt it was inconveniant to fit it into my days, and I believe the increased girth of my glans that I was so proud of obtaining.. has diminished now. From July to August, I slowly had reduced length exercises from an hour to barely even 20 minutes. What the fuck is this? How the hell did I let this happen and why do I keep letting it happen at all?

The worst was on the 3rd week of August when I had a lot of things to take care of and I also met a new girl. I was doing some PEing late at night (like I always do), and then all of a sudden I started thinking of the girl and just stopped PEing and called her. The next few nights I started seeing it as more and more of a boring hassle, and now I’ve ended up putting it completely to a halt… again.

To break it down for you guys even more…
I start off with the original goal that we all have where I want to make my dick bigger. I’m fighting to improve the size, so I begin the exercises. Then after a couple weeks, I see a slow and minimal amount of progress in my dick’s growth, and I get frustrated by all that work just for a few centimeters. Next, the progress slows down, as I start getting bored of the exercises I’m doing and start seeing them as a hassle. Suddenly I have to find some way to fight this boredom, and the original goal of making my dick bigger is replaced by finding away to reduce the boredom and hassle of working some PE sessions into my days. Obviously, the only way I’ve managed to do that is by reducing the amount of time/days I spend PEing, and at that point, instead of PE being a beneficial past time, it becomes an annoying inconvenience. Frustration, boredom, and lack of dedication kill it all for me.

I’m not going to lie to you guys…this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. At the beginning of the year I also started getting bored of the stretching/jelqing (as well as lazy), and I stopped PEing for a whole month. Very bad shit.

What I am doing (and what I have done) is very wrong and very detrimental to any type of long term progress I dream of achieving. But it seems like no matter how fucking hard I try to keep myself going at it, I inevitably get lazy one day and start putting off the PE to once every other day, and then it becomes chronic and I barely do it all one week, and then finally I lose any/all motivation to perform the exercises, and simply stop PEing. Could it be that I’m simply not cut out for PE and have been wasting my time all along?

I think a lot of people share a belief that if you perform these exercises on your dick for weeks and weeks, then all of a sudden stopping them completely, your dick will not only have not grown at all after all that time you wasted with the exercises, but it will also have become stronger at resisting the stresses placed on it. So in other words, if you try and go back it again, you’d have to work even harder since it’s built up an endurance, right?

I am not so sure I agree with that idea but it sure as hell demotivates me even more and makes me feel like I shouldn’t even bother pretending I’m going to keep up with my commitment. I can’t believe how pathetic my whole prediacment has become. I’ve spent countless hours of my time on trying to grow a bigger dick over the past 12 months, have been decently succesful, and then it’s like all of a sudden I piss it all away and stop. WTF? Why don’t I have this same problem with working out in the gym? How is it that I can stay incredibly consistent at going to the gym everyday, but screw myself over with PE?

I think the problem I’ve had all along is that when it comes down to it, I really wasn’t giving too much a shit about PE. I wasn’t dedicated enough to the process, never charted any progress or kept logs or anything. The only thing that kept me interested in it was reading the threads on here, but eventually I’d stop coming the forums and my motivation to PE would be shot down to shit.

My current situation now is that whenever I take a piss or jack off or whatever the hell I do that involves my dick, I look at my penis and I feel so goddamn disappointed by what I see. It’s not (only) about the length/girth of it though, it’s about how much time I’ve spent trying to improve upon it, and then let it all go to fucking trash. The odd thing is, before I started PE, I never felt bad about my size nor even really cared about my dick that much at all unless a girl mentioned something about it. But now that I’ve gone through almost a year of on and off PEing, whenever I look at my dick, I just see failure and disappointment because I’m taking two steps forward and then five steps back over and over with the whole PE process. I guess this just has something to do with the type of person I am and my lack of patience.

If I figured out a way to get myself dedicated enough to performing PE sessions every night, I probably would have maintained enough needed consistencyto have grown at least a full inch in both length and girth by now. I’d probably be really fucking happy too because I would have moved that much closer to reaching a goal. Instead, I got lazy, bored, and irritated with PE and its needs to achieve progress, and now I’m stuck in a really bad funk where I have many negative thoughts on PE, not to mention a dick that has had very minimal gains after nearly a year’s worth of work in PEing.

Don’t let yourself fall into this shithole of an abyss I’ve allowed myself to get stuck in. Stay dedicated and determined by doing whatever the hell you have to do to keep yourself motivated in PE. If you were/are in a similar situation where you’re getting back into PEing, you better reorganize yourself and make some type of plan to have stability and appreciation for your work, otherwise you’re going to be one disappointed miserable fucking prick—in more ways than one.

Thanks for the words of warning.

Your problem sounds a lot like procrastination to me; putting off (for whatever reason) something you should be doing. I too have had to battle with procrastination and am finally conquering it.

Here are a couple of tips to begin to end this problem once and for all.

1) Set a schedual of your week, each and every week. Don’t just think about it. Write it out on paper of the things you must do each and every day. It doesn’t have to be by the hour, but work like a dog to get everything done, each and every day.

2) Keep a journal and write in it as often as possible. This will be a constant reminder and a guage of progress. This can be about your feelings

3) Realize this fact every single time you have to do something that you feel lazy or bored about: “IF I DON’T DO IT NOW, I’M NEVER going to do it.” For the procrastinator, in most cases it’s true right? Say it aloud to yourself if necessary and don’t think about the task, simply dive in.

I understand how hard it can be to do something when you don’t feel like doing it. It’s easy, by comparison to reason why we should be doing something. That fact is to your advantage and should become your motivation for completing a task.

Don’t give up! You are human and have choice. You are also responsible for your actions. If you let procrastination win, then you are choosing to be a procrastinator.
(Incomplete logical statement, but you get the idea. :) )

Fight it! I have faith in you! Keep me up to speed on your progress.

Good luck.

Tug_monkey I’m a terrible procrastinator! To the point, I guess, that it seriously undermines my quality of life. In fact, it annoys me so much that I’d probably trade in one of my balls to be perfectly organised. Do you think it’s a trait that can be kicked? I’ve tried implementing some of your suggestions and they tend to only help for so long, before I start sliding back into wasting minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. In fact, I’m procrastinating at this very moment since I’m supposed to be sorting out my degree! Any other pointers mate?

Hey guys, I suffer from the problem as well. The Internet is the devil for procrastination (and procrasturbation).

Check out the Procrastination Research Group (NOW! DON’T BOOKMARK IT!!) :

There are a lot of good references there and some info as well. Tug Monkey has very good suggestions, too.

Good luck!
hell uva

Stand and Deliver
By Maia Szalavitz — Publication Date: August 26, 2003

from http://www.psyc hologytoday.com … 0826-000017.asp

Summary: Do you check e-mail 100 times a day, only to answer two messages? Understanding why people really procrastinate is the key to purging that in-box and getting on with life.

Jared is among the one in five people who chronically procrastinate, jeopardizing careers and jettisoning peace of mind, all the while repeating the mantra: "I should be doing something else right now."

Procrastination is not just an issue of time management or laziness. It’s about feeling paralyzed and guilty as you channel surf, knowing you should be cracking the books or reconfiguring your investment strategy. Why the gap between incentive and action? Psychologists now believe it is a combination of anxiety and false beliefs about productivity.

Tim Pychyl, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, tracked students with procrastination problems in the final week before a project was due. Students first reported anxiety and guilt because they had not started their projects. "They were telling themselves ‘I work better under pressure’ or ‘this isn’t important,’" says Pychyl. But once they began to work, they reported more positive emotions; they no longer lamented wasted time, nor claimed that pressure helped. The results of this study will be presented at the Third International Conference on Counseling the Procrastinator in Academic Settings in August. Psychologists have focused on procrastination among students because the problem is rampant in academic settings; some 70 percent of college students report problems with overdue papers and delayed studying, according to Joseph Ferrari, associate professor of psychology at Chicago’s DePaul University.

Pychyl also found that procrastination is detrimental to physical health. College students who procrastinate have higher levels of drinking, smoking, insomnia, stomach problems, colds and flu.

So why can’t people just buckle down and get the job done?

False beliefs

Many procrastinators are convinced that they work better under pressure, or they’ll feel better about tackling the work later. But tomorrow never comes and last-minute work is often low quality. In spite of what they may believe, "Procrastinators generally don’t do well under pressure," says Ferrari. The idea that time pressure improves performance is perhaps the most common myth among procrastinators.

Fear of failure

"The main reason people procrastinate is fear," says Neil Fiore, Ph.D., author of The Now Habit. Procrastinators fear they’ll fall short because they don’t have the requisite talent or skills. "They get overwhelmed and they’re afraid they’ll look stupid." According to Ferrari, "Procrastinators would rather be seen as lacking in effort than lacking in ability." If you flunk a calculus exam, better to loudly blame it on the half-hour study blitz, than admit to yourself that you could have used a tutor the entire semester.

Perfectionism

Procrastinators tend to be perfectionists—and they’re in overdrive because they’re insecure. People who do their best because they want to win don’t procrastinate; but those who feel they must be perfect to please others often put things off. These people fret that "No one will love me if everything I do isn’t utter genius." Such perfectionism is at the heart of many an unfinished novel.

Self-control

Impulsivity may seem diametrically opposed to procrastination, but both can be part of a larger problem: self-control. People who are impulsive may not be able to prioritize intentions, says Pychyl. So, while writing a term paper you break for a snack and see a spill in the refrigerator, which leads to cleaning the entire kitchen.

Punitive parenting

Children of authoritarian parents are prone to procrastinate. Pychyl speculates that children with such parents postpone choices because their decisions are so frequently criticized—or made for them. Alternatively, the child may procrastinate as a form of rebellion. Refusing to study can be an angry—if self-defeating—message to Mom and Dad.

Thrill-seeking

Some procrastinators enjoy the adrenaline "rush." These people find perverse satisfaction when they finish their taxes minutes before midnight on April 15 and dash to the post office just before it closes.

Task-related anxieties

Procrastination can be associated with specific situations. "Humans avoid the difficult and boring," says Fiore. Even the least procrastination-prone individuals put off taxes and visits to the dentist.

Unclear expectations

Ambiguous directions and vague priorities increase procrastination. The boss who asserts that everything is high priority and due yesterday is more likely to be kept waiting. Supervisors who insist on "prioritizing the Jones project and using the Smith plan as a model" see greater productivity.

Depression

The blues can lead to or exacerbate procrastination—and vice versa. Several symptoms of depression feed procrastination. Decision-making is another problem. Because depressed people can’t feel much pleasure, all options seem equally bleak, which makes getting started difficult and pointless.

Maia Szalavitz is a freelance science writer and co-author of Recovery Options: The Complete Guide: How You and Your Loved Ones Can Understand and Treat Alcohol and Other Drug Problems.

Good_Knight,

This trait CAN be kicked, but like most things, it’s not going to happen over night. Luckily you won’t have to resort to the ol’ ball-barter :) . With hard work, determination and focus, you can end procrastination once and for all.

Another tip? Sure. Break large tasks down into very manigable chunks. Even a large project can be quickly completed if it has been broken down into simple pieces. As each piece is completed, the project takes shape. Books are easily memorized if they are they are studied frequently rather than at the last minute.

Completing things last minute usually result in loss of sleep and exausting hard work. These things reinforce procrastination as we train ourselves to dislike tasks. With smaller more managable tasks, the satisfaction of completion is more easily realized and even large tasks become ‘fun’.

Again, I stress that procrastination won’t be beat over night. All the tips in the world aren’t worth anything unless they’re applied. The very task of ending procrastination is so large that it is often procrastinated! Any progress you make is good progress and over time you will begin to see results.

Start today! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Get a regular piece of paper and a pencil and begin writing; a coiled notebook for the dainty! I used to do my planning/writing in a nearby coffee shop. By myself, I would look at the pretty ladies passing by and with a cup of java, write down goals, plans and thoughts. It became a ritual, was quite fun (the ladies provided good incentive to return), and was one of the first steps toward my recovery.

The link that helluvastud posted is a good one. Here’s a link to the same site on “procrastination self-help”:

helluvastud,

How are you doing with your procrastination? Have you made any progress?

twatteaser, interesting.

I’ve been sloppy with my PE this past week. And it doesn’t feel good. I’m having trouble staying motivated, and it’s not because my dick looks small or anything to me. Anyway, I promised myself I wouldn’t quit until I’d reached my goal, and I won’t either. I just have to re-motivate myself and get into a better routine.

You shouldn’t look upon PE as something that sucks (even though it does, and that it’s boring), just try to do it while watching TV or something. Try to do it parralel to something that makes the time go faster.

My bottled up hatred usually keeps me going strong.

“Is it in you?”

Prickle, does hatred feed an empty belly? For me it does, but that is another discussion.

Nah… hatred is more like an empty belly eating itself! Whatever gets you through the day, I suppose.

OK, thanks. I think the reason I put things off is I am lazy and pray for a death that never bothers to come. Ah, what more can I say? I am used to living with disappointment. ;)

tug monk,

I’ve improved somewhat in the procrastination department over the last couple years. What has helped is simply the repeated experience of, once I actually begin a big project, realizing that it’s enjoyable to get shit done and wishing I hadn’t put it off so long. Reinforcement is a really mundane point, but it’s important: being rewarded for a behavior (e.g., starting a project early) certainly increases the frequency of that behavior thereafter. Even today, I still have all the irrational feelings and beliefs about projects, before I crack into them — the feeling of “oh, but I’d rather be doing x or y,” especially — but now I kind of unconsciously brush aside those feelings and JUST FUCKING START something… and before I know it, momentum has carried me away on the new project and reversed my silly procrastinatory cognitions.

Do other procrastinators find that once they actually begin the projects they put off forever, they have remarkable persistence and momentum compared to most people? I’m able to work endlessly on things, once I’m into them, and wonder whether this is peculiar to me or common to most problematic procrastinators.

hell

I can procrastinate way better if I smoke weed, but I could also get mad shit done like an idiot savant, too. So let’s not blame the weed. It’s me.

If I’m not interested in going all the way with a project, I won’t start it. But once I get in there, I’m banging it out till it’s done.

I’m a reverse procrastinator sometimes too. If I know I got shit to do, I’ll try to do it all it one day so I can have downtime. Like back in grammar school, over the summer we had to read like six or maybe ten books, and hand in the reports when school started. Man, I did all those shits the first week of summer. Just read ‘em and banged ‘em out. And I’m talkin’ “The Hobbit” type books. Mad pages. I had the whole summer to myself, while I had friends who were still reading shit in August. Suckers!

helluva and prickle,

Thats so STRANGE! I was the exact same way. In a lot of ways I still am. Once I start something, I go like a goat till it’s done. The issue is always starting. Although I break things into pieces now and use a schedule, I always do more than planned. I have no problem working, just starting!

It’s bizarre that three procrastinators have such similar patterns!