Jelqist,
I have had 2 girls ask me this, one was an ex at the time, the other was the current girl that I am dating (she asked about a year ago). They both got the same answer “Why? I think that you have a great body, you know that I love your breasts. Why wouldn’t you want to have a more athletic build?” (which was actually quite important to both of them, they were just forgetting that). It even helped to have the reference of my EX to give to my current girlfriend. She’s always been a little worried that I would go back to my EX because we have stayed friends and she just happens to look like a runway model and has that exotic Italian-Mediterranean look. And if SHE didn’t need them…?
Anyways, they also both meant it. They really felt that they would be more attractive with their chests enhanced. That’s no surprise, look at us and our penile forums. So, I don’t think that she was setting you up or trying to get at you with it. It may be that she’s just shifting into another world and you happen to be the unlucky guy that is her anchor while she swings into it (and out of your life). And that HURTS LIKE HELL! I know it, because that is what happened with the EX that I am referring to. We should have broken up long before we did and I didn’t really know where I was going with my life at that time anyways. It was bound to happen and neither one of us knew how to just let it go.
But here’s another funny slant, I am over a full inch shorter than you and both of these girls have admitted to me that they have never had such satisfying sex lives. It’s never been a point of contention except when I say no, did you get that ~ when I say no! You don’t need a bigger member to be a better lover. My current girlfriend and I broke up for a while when I was away with the Army training. She even dated and had sex with a couple of other guys. I found out later that BOTH of these guys were about 9”ers. Damn, I’m over 2”s shorter than that.
She said that she couldn’t even have an orgasm with the last one and always had to manually stimulate herself. I know what she’s like in bed and that’s a sad story for that other guy. She’s always been able to have multiples with me and sometimes asks me to save it for later because she gets way too sensitive. Which I have no problem doing, since sex is not the HUGE motivator for me that it is for some (most?) guys. I think that’s part of the reason why they chase me for it. TOO FUNNY, but…
What she said to you was and IS rotten. There is something to be said for how a girl feels while she’s having sex though. What does she experience? What does she remember and imagine? My current girlfriend has never been able to get my size out of me, I’m just elusive about the subject because I don’t want it to be a measuring game. Something to tell her girlfriends. I understand it though, look at me, I remembered the sizes of 2 guys that SHE slept with. And why is that? Because deep down I am insecure and worry that I could lose her to some 9” strapped, exotic, jaguar drivin’ fool.
But how does he, and it, make her feel though?
She doesn’t know how big I am, she just knows that they were a little bit bigger. She even tried guessing at my size and I asked her how big she would make me (I was dodging her question with a question) and she said “8 and thick” and then added “but aren’t you about that size anyways?” She asked this with a cute little questioning inflection and I was laughing to myself. If you can make a girl feel good, it doesn’t really much matter.
It’s like the question of security, if a girl FEELS secure with you, why does she NEED anything “more secure”. Many women equate wealth with “security” but if you dig a little deeper and find their buttons and motivators, you can sometimes short circuit what they THINK they want by satisfying what they TRULY NEED. The sense of it developed and nurtured by a conniving but caring lover!
A man that is attractive (both physically and socially) but doesn’t cheat and loves making love to his one and only woman. Someone who will stand up for her, and himself, without letting ego and machismo get in the way. A guy that can make her feel like a million bucks with a 20 dollar date (she never know this or if she does, it just doesn’t seem to matter) and a thoughtful homemade gift or carefully planned romantic experience. Make sense?
And your sex life may or may not be salvageable, since she may already have some deeply ingrained beliefs about what it is and what you are (which is obviously wrong, these guys here are right, YOU’RE FINE SIZE-WISE). And you may not be able to salvage the other aspects of what’s being built up in her mind. You may not want to when you really get to know what it is. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t ever date the exotic EX again. My current girlfriend is already exotic and wild enough for me (or at least, that’s what she feels) and “whaddya know, it’s the truth!” (i’ve made it that).
It’s like a foreign language to these girls, they just know how they feel when someone is speaking to them in a loving tone. If she can’t hear it from you, it may be her fault and she may never be able to hear it. But, you might be able to change some of the dynamics of your bedroom game that change her perceptions of you and your sex lives. Then again, this may have NOTHING to do with sex.
~ren