Caught Hanging

The setting: a beautiful, sunny and windy day waaay up in the mountains.
The star: yours truly
The seen: I’m sitting out on the deck, hanging, while I work on a report.
And…Action!! Run down the steps and for the door, my papers flying in the wind, holding onto my hanger/dick/weights as the UPS guy drives up the hill & through the trees.

This could be a fun(ny) thread. Any one else get caught, or almost caught while hanging?

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve torn shit off my dick when a door sudddenly opens…

My 15 year old son caught me using a pump. I forgot to lock the front door of the house and he came bursting in. I’m not sure what all he saw but I was completely nude with a tube attached to my dick. I screamed at him to get out and quickly gathered up hoses, cords, tubes and the motor. When I finally made it to bedroom I found that I had burned the inner part of my left arm on the hot motor. Three days later it was showing signs of infection so I had to go to the doctor for some antibiotics which I had to take for two weeks. I told the doc that I burned myself on a hot pot on the stove. After that I threw out the whole contraption. (It cost me around $400). I think it may have scarred my poor son for life but he hasn’t said anything about it…yet.

Jim

iamaru,

Thats the most hilarious thing I have ever heard of, ever just imagining it makes me almost piss in my pants!

Jimwants10,

I think you’ve got something to confront here.

Tom,

Apparently you have been doing this for some time and wifey doesn’t know? Since you are a veteran and expert I assume you gained quite a lot, no? It is likely that she has noticed something. She may not necessarily assume your dick has gotten bigger, after all the conventional thinking is that penis enlargement is not possible short of surgery. Women are strange creatures, if she has noticed that your dick is bigger, and she likes it, perhaps she would feel like a slut to comment on it an worse yet to admit that she likes it. FWIW, this is what I think is going on with my wife.
My wife is actually now aware of the pc exercises and jelq exercises. I made a little exercise sheet for “patients” (no, I don’t give them out, this was entirely for her consumption) labelled exercises “to maintain/recover male sexual funciton” and saw to it that she saw the exercises (she did, asked a few cursory questions and then dropped it). I later plan to admit to doing the exercises as a program to restore my strength of erections since I am over 40 and before PE had actually noticed a difference (It is actually true that I found PE by doing a search on cures for ED) and then claiming a remarkable improvment as a result of the exercise (again true). I don’t think that at that point, presented in that way, that she would ask me to stop a low risk no cost method of restoring my sexual health and self confidence. Cheers.

One time about 2 years ago, when I was putting on the swimcap hanger, I almost ripped my dick off. I used little dumbells as weights and always put them on the desk while attaching the string to the swimcap. Well, I had just gotten them attached when I hear the front door open. So I jerk back to run to the closet and take the swimcap off.

Well I didn’t have to. The weights, now attached to the swimcap, which was already attached to my dick, fell from the desk to the floor. The dam weight hit me in the toe, and the force of the weight jerked the swimcap right off. YEEOUCH! I was sore for almost a week. But I didn’t get caught.

Tom,

I did tell my son about PEing and asked if he wanted to give it a try. He said, “No thanks. I’m alright Dad”, and walked away with a mortified look on his face.

A couple weeks later my ex-wife called me on the phone and asked me why I was talking to my son about this sort of thing. She was kind of upset and was going to have me arrested and charged with sexual abuse. I ended up having to explain the whole PE program to her. She finally cooled down but still couldn’t understand why I wanted a bigger dick. When I likened it to breast augmentation for women she understood.

From then on everytime we met I would catch her checking out my crotch. I usually wear Wrangler cowboy cut jeans. They tend to accentuate the package anyway. But since I’ve been PEing it has created a rather prominent bulge.

She has never made the offer to have sex or get back together but even if she did I couldn’t do it. I just wouldn’t be able to get it up for someone who cheated on me.

As a side note; During our initial conversation she said that I had the “biggest one” she’s ever seen and that she has “seen a lot of ‘em.” The last time she saw it I was at about 6.5 inches erect. I have since gained about 2 inches. I guess what I’m saying is if she thought 6.5 was big then the vast majority of men have nothing to fret about.

Jim

Size Miester,

That’s a pretty funny story. I trust everything has heal up.

Jim

Just exactly how did you bring up the subject? I’ve been meaning to let my brothers in on the secret but just not come up with the right approach yet.

Sizemeister,

The real “joy” of the swim cap, as perhaps you discovered, is when the weight (knot) slips off the cap and the latex does its elastic band thing right back into your privates….

Pretty much what I’d expect. It would pretty amazing if you could actually pull it off without him considering you an old pervert. Bringing up anything related to human sexuality - probably every dad’s least favorite part of the job description, and one most ignore - creates reactions you wish you could catch on videotape. Stay open, he may try to work his way back to the subject if you guys talk much.with your son.

Hey Tom, I find it funny that being the vet you are….you still havent told your wife or your son about PE…

I can say, as a young man of 24, I wish my dad would have known about this stuff and turned me on to it…I think its all how close you are or the level of depth you and your son have in your realtionship, etc.

Can you imagine if my dad turned me on this at 16 or 18? I’d be done by now….

And as far as it being akward, like you said most all human sexuality discussions are awkward, but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t necessary…..especially one of the PE nature.

The bottom line is as men, old are young, we all would like to improve, and what better place to get some advice from your dad, especially if he has traveled down that road before you?

I will definitely tell me sons about PE…if they choose to use it…that’s up to them.

food for thought

bbs,

I have no (specific) genetic connection with my son, so I have no idea what he’s inherited.

Just because we feel the need to have a larger dick, does not necessarily mean ours sons automatically feel the same. It is very possible that your son (or anyone else’s for that matter) is very happy with his lot (be it the size it may) or simply attaches much less importance to it.

And leading a teenager to “believe” that having a bigger dick will make him a “better person” may do more harm than the good originally intended.

This said, I would try to approach my son on the matter, however I only have two daughters (at this stage).