AndyJ's Body Enhancement Thread

I’ve been mixing up various homemade gunk and applying it to my dick for about a year and a half. (“The Glop”) I mix about 1/4 cup at a time, load a small flip-top container about the size of a 35mm film can for daily use, and store the rest of the batch in the refrigerator. I get about a week out of the small container.

“Lotions” are water based, “creams” are oil based. The base for The Glop is shea butter, which is technically an oil, but it’s water-soluble, not all that slippery, and dries after a few hours.

Yesterday I made my 14th batch. I record what goes into each. This time it was:

shea butter, hyaluronic acid, magnesium chlorate, sunflower lecithin, allantoin (also known as comfrey root), and L-Lysine. The previous batch didn’t have any L-Lysine.

The ingredients are to soften skin, aid healing, and penetrate the skin, except for the L-Lysine.

Some time ago I saw a post about topical application of L-Arginine. L-Lysine is similar, and I had some around (I didn’t notice any effects when taking it orally), so I opened a cap and poured it into The Glop. My logs showed wood improved noticeably. So I’ve been making batches with and without L-Lysine since December or so. Each time I add L-Lysine, I see a noticeable improvement in EQ. Last night it was back to “very good.”

I now have acceptable experimental testing that topical L-Lysine improves my EQ. It’s cheap and available over the counter; it might work for you if you add some to your jelqing lube or skincare lotion. “Your mileage may vary, take only as directed, some restrictions may apply, some settling may occur during shipment.”

I make small batches of The Glop in a plastic cup, microwave it for ten or fifteen seconds until it’s liquid, and stir it before it sets up into a thick paste. It softens when it’s warmed by the skin. It doesn’t make a mess all over my thighs and doesn’t stain underwear. I’m not particularly fond of the odor of shea butter, but my wife doesn’t find it objectionable. If The Glop is too stiff, I add some more hyaluronic acid and zap it in the microwave again. (raw shea butter is solid a room temperature)

You can substitute cocoa butter for shea butter. Cocoa butter is an oil, doesn’t dry, and it makes a bit of mess, but it smells good and it would be a much better lube than shea butter. The other stuff mixes fine with cocoa butter, but I no longer use cocoa butter because I don’t like having a greasy dick during the day, and because when I use the heating pad, cocoa butter “skunks off” in the tube and smells really bad after that.

PE day 634
keto day 140

I spent most of the last year pumping with a hand pump at 5” Hg and a breast pump that pulled a bit under 2”. The breast pump finally died, so I went to an aquarium pump. It would pull about 5” directly on the guage, but by the time I added tees and adapter fittings, it was more like 3.5”. I set the bleed valve so the gauge read 3”.

Pumping at a steady 3” wasn’t like 5-and-bleed-down or the fast cycle of the breast pump. I got slight edema at 20 minutes, where I had none at 5” with the hand pump. After a few weeks I got acclimated to it and bumped the time up to 30 minutes, then occasionally to 40.

About that time I rearranged the plumbing on the aquarium pump. The hoses are only loosely stuck onto the fittings; I haven’t measured, but I suspect the hose is slightly oversize. I used fresh bits of hose when redoing the connections. I noticed I was starting to get some edema again, checked the gauge, and it showed the pump was now pulling a bit over 4”. I adjusted the vacuum down to an even 4” and shortened the sessions to 20 minutes.

At 4” I get a lot more base bite. It’s mostly at the sides, where my base girth flares out much larger than the tube. I’m still getting used to it, though I don’t have to turn the pump off and take a break and reseat the tube as often as before. I also got some fresh popping and twinging inside the shaft; I thought all the internal scars had been pulled free, but evidently not.

A couple of weeks after that I was digging in one of my PE boxes and found a countdown timer I’d bought a while back. It’s a little box with that plugs into a power outlet, with a plug-in on the side. There’s a row of buttons - 15, 30, 45 minutes, up to 4 hours. I plugged it into the power strip and plugged the pump into it, setting the vacuum back down to 3”. Now I could pump without worrying about falling asleep.

Now I’m running a standard session of 30 minutes at 4”, 10 minutes of edging (sometimes with a ring, sometimes without), then repeat. 1h20m plus cleanup time.

PE day 640
keto day 146

Since I shoot up with testosterone every week, I’ve rolled that into a weekly maintenance schedule.

TRT injection (#22)
average last week’s daily BP readings for the doc
weigh (still stuck at 309#)
blood sugar (92, normal for me)
masturbate to ejaculation (pipe cleaning)
wash pump tubes and vacuum extender bits
shave and depilatory cream

The lab results came back from the last doctor visit. Liver function was OK. Blood oxalate test was OK. D3 was up into the American “accepted normal” range, still below the rest of the world’s normal. I bumped the D3 supplement up from 2000mg/2x day to 3000mg/2x day. The doc said his test came back and he’s upping his as well. Apparently D3 uptake from supplements isn’t all that good.

We had talked about the relationship between D3, calcium, kidney stones, and osteoporosis. I don’t typically eat any foods with noticeable calcium in them, and would ordinarily avoid them by preference due to an ongoing kidney stone problem. But I haven’t passed a stone, or even any notable “sand”, since going keto, so I’m going to try a standard calcium supplement dose and see what the labs look like in a few months.

He said the blood pressure bouncing all over the place was normal, and felt that my current 120 to 130 average was okay. A couple of months ago it was still running 130-140 on the same med dosage. Lore has it that losing weight will lower blood pressure so maybe… nothing else has changed, anyway.

It took me a while to get used to the bell-and-sleeve setup, but I can tolerate it for as long as my bladder holds out, now.

I use it in three modes:

with a 3/4 pound Gear Keeper and a neck strap, straight up

with a 1 pound weight hanging down my leg inside my pants, straight down

with a 1.5 pound weight and pulleys, straight out

The Gear Keeper was originally more than I could handle; I had to get one that was a little over half a pound (9oz) and get used to that before I could use the 3/4 pounder. The elastic strap setup it came with had wildly varying tension between standing up and sitting down; enough that there was no real sweet spot between “not doing anything” and “pulling a blister.” Could just be the elastic band it came with isn’t really suitable. Gear Keeper makes stronger reels, but the strongest is only a hair over 2 pounds.

The hanging weight is a 1 pound lead bar in a drawstring pouch; with the pouch, strings, and a carabiner, it hangs below the ends of short pants, but it’s okay with long pants. The long pants also keep it from swinging and bouncing around. I’ve mowed the yard with it twice, which is a couple of hours of walking, without any problems.

I was looking for a weight that was a bit shorter so I could wear shorts in the summer. I found a “deep sea fishing weight” on eBay. They had 1, 2, and 3 pound sizes. The actual dimensions weren’t given. I decided to try the 2 pound weight, which came in yesterday.

It’s about the size of two stacked “C” batteries. Last night I took the bags of pennies off the pulley setup and put the 2 pound weight on. It didn’t really feel any different than 1.5 pounds, and everything was still OK after half an hour when I removed the bell and checked. Last time I tried 2 pounds of weight I got a blister, so things *are* improving, even if only slowly.

I’ll probably order the 3 pound version in a few weeks. That’s probably going to be up into the “taping required” zone, though.

The bottle of celery seed extract was getting low, so I ordered some more. This time I got the powder instead of capsules; it was much cheaper, and I already had the capsule loader and a supply of the correct size capsules. The loader was $35-ish on eBay and has already paid for itself. Capsules are cheap.

Several more possible nootropics are on order, and should start showing up any day now. I’ll see if Fisetin, pycnogenol, DMAE bitartrate, or choline bitartrate do anything for me. I already have the DMAE, but you’re supposed to take choline along with it.

Night wood and general EQ have been noticeably good lately.

I’ve gotten more used to the vacuum bell. It used to somehow pinch either the corona or bottom of the glans, until I’d get tired of it and take it off. With more use, that has mostly gone away, and when it doesn’t, it’s not annoying enough to take it off before I run out of bladder capacity. Sessions have been running two to three and a half hours. My glans used to be very hard when I removed the bell, and I usually had a small donut of edema just behind the mouth of the bell; not so much, any more.

I had planned to wear the two-pound weight while mowing the yard yesterday, but I had a fall that managed to tweak both knees, my left ankle, and my back. As such things go, they are more sore today than they were yesterday.

The scar ring continues to get softer and less noticeable, and the lumpy scar at the frenum attachment point is flattening out. This started when I began using the vacuum hanger. I’m not sure why; the hanger doesn’t actually pull on the skin, so it shouldn’t be doing anything. Could be coincidence. That’s the problem with a sample size of one; coincidence and false correlation are always a hazard. Whatever the reason, I’m seeing improvement.

PE day: 649
keto day: 155
weight: 11/2021 347# — 05/01/2022 305# (-42#)

I’m so close to being under 300# I can smell it. Last time I was that light was in 1987, when my weight ballooned up from 250 to 330 in six months. I never did figure out what happened with that; there were no changes in my diet or work to account for 80 pounds. My weight always seemed to go up in sudden steps, just not that large. After hitting 330 things mostly stayed between 330 and 370, with one foray up to 395. I might have gone over 400 for a while; I avoided the scale for a long time because it was depressing.

Still fighting base bite with the tube and pump. That’s something that started a few months ago as base girth increased. I’ve had to shut the pump off and reseat the tube a few times in some sessions; others, I just gave up. Probably 75% of the time it’s uncomfortable, 10% of the time I don’t even notice anything, and 15% of the time I bail out early due to the discomfort.

Between the pump and vacuum hanger my glans has been slightly sore, but within acceptable limits. Right now the pump (at 4” Hg) seems to be rougher on it than the hanger (usually 2#). I’ll be adding another half-pound to the hanger this week.

EQ is down slightly. It may be related to stopping the celery seed extract a couple of days ago. I’ve been on it for a couple of months; I’m stopping for a week to see what happens, then I’ll resume.

No magic bullet on the nootropics yet, and still coming up with nothing as far as being able to quantify results. The only online tests I’ve found have wanted nontrivial amounts of money, only run on an Android or Apple phone, or require a Google account. The pay site looked shady, and the phone app or Google are deal-breakers.

Wow, that sounds great! I’m so happy for your success. I’m sure for most guys here improving their body is more difficult than doing PE. Your determination is a motivation for everybody wether they do PE or work on their body. And I’m sure it feels good for you, too.

I’d like to claim superhuman resolve, but the keto diet has been very easy for me to live with. And, most importantly, it is working.

I’m still working on the exercise thing. The equipment is sitting there, but so far the don’t-give-a-damns have overridden the round-tuits. The exercise partner thing lasted a few weeks, about what I expected. Still my own fault for not working out, of course, but it sure helped with the motivation issue.

That’s my approach and experience, too. But it’s half of the story. Exercise is the other half… I’m sure you will succeed in that, too.

Damn, Andy. You’re doing great! You’re a piss away from being under 300 already! I’m happy for you. Keep going, man! A little here, little there, turns into a whole bunch. Awesome work, brother. Keep at it!

Thanks guys!

Nice. After 300, what’s the next target?

I don’t believe in sudden weight gains. All that means is you weren’t paying attention. 6 months is a long period. In pure calorie terms you wouldn’t need to be overeating that much to gain 80 lbs. A lot of people seem to stick to a particular weight and then balloon when they hit their 40s. The body can deal with crap food for a long period of time but then it gives up and maybe the metabolic rate plummets along with other dysfunction and food that would have been burned is stored.

Two different orthopedic surgeons have refused to do knee replacement surgery until I weigh 165 pounds or less, to satisfy their holy BMI numbers.

Assuming I can continue to lose weight at the current rate, that’d be another year and a half. Though, given the general contariness of life in general, I expect the weight loss will start tapering off well before that.

Hell yeah! Focus on the steps. Reach 300, congratulate yourself heartily, then focus on the next step.

You’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’re still the one doing it, not the keto diet.

Well done man, that’s great work.