I've cured my premature ejaculation

You would be amazed at the number of non-starter women who contact me. I’d say a good quarter of the women. That’s why I’m writing a specific chapter for those women in my book. I basically tell them to skip the rest of the book and go directly to that chapter. If a woman has never had a clitoral orgasm, no point in fooling around with supplements and exercises.

A good vibrator like the Eroscillator if the woman is open to it. If not, oral sex, manual clitoral stimulation and motivated’s tips are a good place to start. Breaking down inhibitions with a glass of wine or some damiana helps too. Or at least a hot bath and an extended relaxing full-body massage.

But in your case, where are you? No vibrator, no oral sex, not even manual clitoral stimulation. Try motivated’s trick, she might be open to it.

Great reply King_G!

Jaguar360,

Perhaps you haven’t seen the long threads on the use of Viagra and Cialis. There is a lot that can be challenged with your use of the term “natural,” but such a discussion is likely to be too philosophical for this context. Yes, SSRIs and Viagra and other medications are quite potent, and they can have unwanted side effects. No one here would deny that if there are ways to treat premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, or whatever, without the use of such medications, then these non-medication options should be tried first. But everyone is different, and some things work for one person but not for others. The bottom line is, what we are here to discuss is anything and everything that works!

King_G,

I really would start a separate thread on the topic. I’m certain there are men and women here who’ve had first-hand experience with such things. As I said, I can only speculate. It does seem clear from what you say that the root is the attitude your wife has developed about sex and about her own body. Once again, do you know how she acquired this attitude? Was it a negative experience, her upbringing, both, neither?

In addition to the creative use of your dick, the only thing I would continue to suggest is that you take the focus off of her orgasm. Yes, continue to try, on your end, to bring her to orgasm. But in terms of your interaction with her, forget about it. Give here complete freedom not to orgasm. The real focus needs to be her attitude and her sexual openness toward you and, most importantly, toward herself. I still think that therapy of some sort might be beneficial. Your wife needs to be in a place where she desires change and where she understands that this change will be beneficial for the two of you.

The fact that she gives you hand jobs is great (I’ve always preferred them to blow jobs anyway!). This may make it easier for you to coax her into using your dick to massage herself. Try the damiana. Try the hot baths. Try everything! By the way, if you do take a hot bath with her, dump in two or three handfuls of loose chamomile tea leaves. It won’t work miracles, but a chamomile bath is very calming.

Zane,

The use of the Fleshlight sounds like a nice addition. And I’m glad to know that you are doing so well in not thinking about sex! :D

P.S. How’s the book coming along?

I’m working on the final first draft this weekend. I’ve been hustling, it’s mostly written, although at this point I have talked so much online about this topic it just wrote itself. My cowriter is just wrapping up the women’s testimonial section and the appendices. I’m sure my editor will have lots to say. I just feel relieved. First hurdle almost done.

That’s great Zane! Any idea of when it might be out in print? I want a signed copy! :)

I took anti-depressants for depression and I could not get off! During masturbation I could get off after 30 minutes if I really really tried, but having sex with a condom on made it impossible to finish. What’s worse? Having premature ejaculation or not being able to orgasm.

I think I will start a new thread on this topic, so watch out for it.

Thanks for the comments Zane.

I’m thinking the problem is emotional/psychological and I’m also thinking that I have been approaching a cure from completely the wrong angle.
I think it probably doesn’t matter how good your technique is if your wife is a sensative person and is NOT in the mood. I think this is basically the problem. She is never REALLY in the mood, because I never bother to do all the things outside the bedroom that would get her in the mood.

I’ve been reading up on this side of things and I think that curing the premature ejaculation has fixed half of the problem (probably really on 10% of the problem). I think the majority of the problem is the fact that our sex is without foreplay outside the bedroom and minimal in the bedroom. Our sex has been fairly routine. The passion and romance has not been there.

I have noticed that at high points in our relationship she was more sexually alive and responsive.
So it makes sense to me and I’ve seen it work.
A woman needs to be in the mood, feel secure in the relationship etc… to really enjoy sex and have orgasms become more frequent or at all. I feel good about going down this road of putting more effort into the relationship outside of the bedroom. Although it’s 5000% more effort than taking a pill or adjusting a technique, I have a feeling that it will work.
After all the most rewarding things in life are not usually handed to us on a plate. They take hard work to acheive. Anyway a new thread will start soon.

thanks again Zane.

The dose needs to be carefully adjusted to the point where you strike a nice balance.

Quick update:
The paxil is going fine. The Dr suggested I stick with it for 6 months, then wean off and see what happens. I’m currently taking 10mg per day. The side effects have all gone away, I haven’t felt any side effects for weeks now. I only ever felt them significantly at the beginning when I first start taking it.

If anything there are far more positive side effects. I have been a lot more chilled out since I’ve been taking it. I’ve had more patience and I haven’t been so sexually manic, which is really nice for me. I used to be gagging for sex all the time and would get angry and go into moods if my wife said no to sex. Now I’m dissapointed when she says no, but I don’t get angry or moody or lose any sleep over it and that’s really really good for our relationship. Things between us have been much better and although the frequency of sex has gone down, the quality has gone up.

We used to have sex once for a couple of mins. Now we have sex several times in a row lasting an hour or so. She has also been initiating having sex in other positions that she used to protest that she hated. She used to say she hated doggy style, but the other night she suggested it!!!!! and she was loving it!!!!! Our marriage is the best it’s ever been.

I’m like that. I hate it but I can’t help it.

I never thought of the possibility that less sex could be a good thing. Something to think about.

Congratulations and thanks for the post.

Hey mravg check this out. I combined what I learned from reading this guys stuff with fixing the prem ejac and it worked a treat.
Any other guys who want more sex from their wives should also read this.

Frigidity and sexual coldness in normal women: the shocking secret.

good luck!!

I am curious to know if anyone tried Deferol and how has it worked for them? I would like to try Paxil( I presume that it should be taken at a dose of 10mg) but I’m afraid of losing my sex drive although it’s very high. But hey it’s not like I’m gettin some coochie regularly heck I’ll be glad if I get it once a week and I’m supposed to be married. Anyways I guess I’ll be talking to my doctor about Paxil.

Hi King G

What specific type of Paxil are you using? Are you using Paxil CR (the extended release version), regular Paxil, or some generic type?

thanks