Premature Ejaculation Solutions

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I don’t know if any one else has experienced this (as I haven’t either): my friend once was telling me about premature ejaculation and his ‘lasting time’ with his gf. He was explaining all problems he’s had with it, where even after three times in succession he wouldn’t be able to last longer than a few minutes at each go without ejaculating (much to his gf dismay). But every now and again, he would have COMPLETE control of his ejaculation, by that I mean he could literally keep going for as long as he wanted to (e.g for hours) and then cum upon demand. He explained the sensation he maintained during this as being similar to the pleasure you get before ejaculation and where the penis is extremely hard (he rated it as 8/9 on a scale where 0 is flaccid and 10 is the point of ejaculation). According to him what caused this change was his mental state as he had just completed a stressful assignment and was in a particularly good mood. His theory now is that almost all ejaculatory problems with men are psychological, and if we can train our minds to prevent ejaculation then there won’t be any need for different physical exercises.

I think that premature ejaculation is a result of more then one cause. And causes can be different for different people. When I began cureing my premature ejac. problem, I would ejaculate almost in the very moment my dick was touched. That was obviously psychological. However, after more then a year of fighting this, and after making significant progress, I can say that it’s definitely not only psychological.

Western medicine only says that, because it doesn’t have all the knowledge. The Chinese have explanations how and why premature ejaculation happens, and they treat it with acupuncture. That’s why it works - because they know WHAT to treat, they know where the problem is.

I just posted this post here:

/forum/showthre … ?t=50315&page=3

I had a number of browser tabs open and only realized afterwards that it’s under Sexual Fantasies or something like that.

It probably fits better here.

I’ve been having this annoying PE problem for many, many years.
Having read many interesting posts on this topic in this forum I noticed many similarities.
First I’m a kind of Type A personality. I’m quite competitive, demand a lot of myself, am often not satisfied with what I have achieved (even though I know that I have achieved quite something). So I expect myself to excel at everything I do. And it has in most fields like sports, academics and work. However, when it comes to sex I always came very fast. Sometimes when I just put the condom on (can you believe this?). Another common trait is that I am an anxious person. I worry too much. Specifically I was very afraid of AIDS/HIV, having irrational fears about getting infected. With this condition for many years, I did not have any self esteem in regard to sex. I turned down quite a number of occassions where I could have had sex with nice looking girls. People were always surprised that I often did not have a girlfriend. With the girls I was going out with it was OK. Often I was fearful though, that they might not be satisfied and cheat on me.
So you see, lots of issues here.
Anyway, what I want to share is the following and how it got me on the route to work on my condition. I have been going with this girl for about half a year. I really liked her a lot, both characterwise and physically. When we had sex I always came very quickly the first time. I was then eager to do it a second time to make up for it. In the beginning it was ok for her. She thought that we needed to get used to each other. Then after a few weeks I told her that I had this prem ej problem for many years. I also told her about my depression/OCD problems. My belief in her was so strong that I didn’t fear any negative consequences. The situation got bad then, though. In order to satisfy her, I always wanted to have sex with her two times. The second time I could go much longer, however often I would not feel much and I would just continue to make her come. She could somehow sense this and then stopped, which made me feel shit. Because I didn’t satisfy her. I made her come with my hand a few times. It takes quite some time for her to come, about 20 to 35 minutes. The pressure on me got greater and greater because also she would tell me how much she loved sex and how important it is to her. Everytime we had sex I feared that I would come too soon. Which of course happened. I also made the mistake to say something like “Shit! Oh no, not again.”. She told me that it didn’t matter to her, but I felt that it did.
Well, after about three months I found out that she had cheated on me with a guy she had known from before. She actually spent a weekend with him under the excuse of a work related trip.
I didn’t find out immediately. First I only had suspicions. She admitted that she had met the guy, but said that nothing had happened. I believed her with some doubts. Somehow this had two effects on me, one was not to care so much about her anymore, e.g. go out more often without her, not call her that much, etc. and 2. getting more aggressive in sex. I also in the beginning didn’t go down on her too often. I did that much more. Also I wasn’t so insecure in bed anymore as I didn’t care that much anymore. However, I still came quite quickly. I also started looking for tips on overcoming premature ejaculation.
Then a few weeks after I had these suspicions I found out that she actually had cheated on me with that asshole. I told her. She was totally in tears and explained to me that she was not sure if she could go out with me as she got scared after I had told her about my depression and also that sex wasn’t fun, but a problem laden thing. However, now I had somehow totally changed and she really regretted it and wanted to be with me. I told her that I had to think about and could not see her for a few days. I was of course totally hurt and disappointed. My trust had been abused. The weeks after I first got suspicious were horrible and every time I asked her she had lied to me that nothing had happened. But I also saw, that it was indeed a very pressured situation. I don’t want to blame myself for suffering from premature ejaculation but I can somehow understand that one might want to have problemfree sex for a change. Not that I would accept that as an excuse. After a few days I forgave her.
I still get thoughts about this, feeling sad and angry. Sometimes I think I should break up with her because of what she did to me. Other times I think I’ll just feel better if I cheat on her, too. You might ask, why I’m still with her. Except for this incident, the time we spend together is great. I also find her attractive. It’s just difficult for me to come to terms with this. It has really destroyed something. On the other hand, in fact it has somehow made me stronger and made me look into my problems and start to confront them.
After I forgave her I told her that I had found a video with a prem ej training on it. It’s basically an edging exercise, i.e. the girl stimulating the guy first manually with the guy stating his excitement level on a scale from 1 to 9 (somehow not up to 10). Whenever the guy gets close to 8.5 the girl stops. The objective is to keep going for 10 minutes. The guy can come then. She was very open about this and we practiced. However, sometimes we also just have sex.
I still come quite quickly the first time. Say after 3 to 7 minutes. However, sometimes when we have sex a second time, e.g. on the weekend first in the morning then in the afternoon, I can go on for something like 30 minutes to 1 hour.
Thanks for listening. It really helped me to write this all down. To sum it up. I’m still sometimes pissed off with her because of her cheating me and have difficulties to move on. I hope it will get better. I don’t really want to cheat on her as I’m not that type and it might make it all worse.
With the prem ej problem, I realized that I need to work on relaxation exercises, training the PC muscle, not worrying so much, developing more self esteem and being patient. I’m sure it will get better.

Thanks for all the intersting posts in this forum.

At 30 mins to 1 hour, I would say you don’t have a prem ejac problem any more. Coming between 3-7 mins on the first time is probably quite average.

Natural selection would favour those who come quickly, and 5 mins of hard fast intercourse seems to be the norm. Having the ability to last much much longer than that I think is down to learned techniques or more rare genes.

Most research points to the fact nearly all men come in about 5 mins. So rather than viewing your quest to improve as escaping inadequacy or inferior status, I would think of it as being normal but striving to acheive exellence. But at 30mins to 1 hour, I’d say you’ve acheived that exellence already…

I love blowjobs but I I came very fast when my gf gives me head, like in a min or 2. Tried kegels and edging but didn’t help. She told me to relax n enjoy, no need to try holding it back. I know that most of you can’t cum from oral sex but it’s the opposite for me lol. Maybe cumming early can be a gd thing sometimes.

Hey all. I was just skimming through this thread and didnt get to read all of it. But basically it’s deff a mind over matter issue if you want to solve it. What I do is since I always use condoms I buy the last longer types like “Durex” Performax, or “Trojan” Extended Pleasure. They both have climax control substances which help me keep my load in for a good while. But some might not like the fact that you get kinda a numbing sensation. So to me this is where the mind over matter kicks in I can still get rock hard erections with these condoms just by thinking of really sexy thoughts and by not masturbating often prior to sex. But until I start having unprotected sex with wifey material imma use these. I’m really use to them and confident which is a big help in the sack.

Hopefully this makes sense to ya’ll. I’m just in a rush and wanted to let you guys know before I forgot.

Lata

I have just tried doing reverse kegel, and it seems to be stopping the urge or ejaculation, very interesting. Then I have found a post from another forum, and I have tried to post it on Thunders, but my internet was slow and I couldn’t post it last night, so I copied on my computer. Here it is.

I can help because I had the same problem a few months ago, but I
resolved it. I believe I had the problem, because I am/was in love
with the girl who I had the problem with. If you are completely
comfortable with the person you are having sex with, a lot of weight
is lifted off of your shoulders and the man doesnt have his
insecurities that he might have with another woman he isnt as
comfortable with.

First, tell him to do his kegels everyday. Just type “kegels” at
google and you can find out what they are and how to perform them. I
have been doing them for about 7 months now with my own PE program and
I am as happy as ever. I can hammer nails into oak wood with my
erections now.

After he gets the hang of kegels, make him read this…because this is
where it will help him the most. When you perform a kegel, you flex
your PC muscle. PC muscle for women, BC muscle for men, so he flexes
his BC muscle when he does a kegel. This moves everything to touch to
the prostate, which is pretty much the female “g-spot” in men. This is
what makes him want to orgasm/ejaculate quicker. What does he need to
do? He needs to move everything away from his prostate by performing a
reverse kegel. This lifts everything away from the prostate so he will
not feel the need to ejaculate as quick…the same as the g-spot; if
nothing is touching the g-spot, there will be no pleasure, but
something is touching it, there will be.

To do a reverse kegel, insead of trying to stop the flow of urine
(normal kegel), push out, like you are trying to force the urine out.
This relaxes the BC muscle in men, which moves away from the prostate,
which helps him last longer. This is my usual routine during sex:
Insertion; before I get the feeling of ejaculation, I perform a
reverse kegel and hold it for 20 seconds to 5 minutes…depending on
how turned-on I am. I let go and keep having sex for like 5 minutes
then do the reverse kegel again. When she is done, I can ejaculate on
command most of the time because my body is ready to ejaculate but I
hold it off, so when I am ready to ejaculate I hold a regular kegel
which moves everything towards my prostate, which in turn makes me
ejaculate within a minute. Tell him to practice kegels and reverse
kegels everyday, like before he goes to sleep, or if he is just
relaxing. I would suggest 10, 10 second holds with a 2 second release
for normal kegels everyday, and for reverse kegels, just practice
holding the reverse kegels for as long as possible. I hope you can
follow this “guide”. If not, just ask if you do not understand
something. Good luck with this.”

Pull out and change positions. Kegel works a little.

Are there any supplements that make you last longer with a harder erection.. I have stamina rx but that only made my erection 100% size and I lasted about 25 minutes.. Anything that will make me last like an hour(other than viagra/cialis)

I went to my local chemist and purchased some desensitising cream. It was called Lanacaine. There are several brands you can get. I got a huge tube of it for a few pounds, very cheap indeed compared to the stud cream/spray stuff you get on the web. The tube has lasted me several months so far and there’s still some left. It numbs what ever you rub it on.
It’s meant for use on wasp/bee stings, itcy skin etc…

I tried it on the glans and it worked a treat. Be sure to apply it to the frenulum too and area just behind the glans for maximum effect. The brand I used had a strong distinct smell and would have numbed my partener as well. So best thing is to apply it, leave it on for a few hours and then wash it off before you have sex (and wear a condom). The glans seems to remain numb for a several hours after washing it off.

I found it to be very effective and for a few dollars you can’t go wrong. Don’t buy it from a sex site as it will be far more expensive (Be sure to test it on the back of your hand first to ensure you don’t have an allergic reaction to it)

King-

Actually that day I had described when I could go basically endlessly was an exception. And it was the second time we had sex that day.

Currently I’m back to my old PE (the other one ;-)), sadly enough. When my girlfriend sits on me, which she really enjoys, after a few pelvic moves by her and perhaps five minutes later, I will be gone. What also makes the situation difficult is that somehow my girlfriend does not really like me to make her come before we have intercourse. I wanted to go that route to make sure that she had come and that it would matter if I came quickly. However, after I have gone down on her for say 7 minutes or fingered her and she has gotten very hot she wants me to fuck her. Then it will take a long time for her to come. Going slowly is actually ok quite often, but then she likes to be banged quite strongly to come and that will push me from an arousal state of say 7.5 to 9 (ejaculation) very quickly.

My doctor had also given me Sertraline under the name Gladem. I took it for a few days. But then I felt quite weak and my skin had a kind of tingling sensation, so I stopped taking it. In the few days it didn’t have any effect on helping with the premature ejaculation.

Tomorrow I’m going to give acupuncture a shot. I’ll let you know how it works.

The more I deal with this problem, the more I’m becoming convinced that being relaxed is very important. That means being comfortable with the relationship, having good self-esteem, have good humour, being in the moment, etc.. SRIs, MaryJanes, Alcohol as well as deep breathing will create similar feelings, unfortunately only for a short time.

lingam,

Good luck with the acupuncture.. I’m still very curious about its effects. Keep us posted!

Hi, I couldn’t go to my acupuncture session because I fell ill. The next appointment is in two weeks. I’ll let you guys know. I hope it will help. Recently when I wanted to practice edging I came after only about 5 minutes of masturbating. It really pisses me off.

This will be frowned upon, and I assure you I don’t take advantage of this method but I have a friend who gets layed quite a bit and he pops a couple of oxycotin and he goes for hours. I wouldn’t advise it, ever, just informing ya’ll.