Unleashing her sexual appetite

Kawaihae, you're another bad, bad man. ;)

Thanks, I try! :)

Yup; life is like that. Its a long complicated story. Its easier to not have sex than to try to fix it. Somewhere in the past couple of weeks someone here said you got to decide what would be more painful, no sex, or leaving the relationship, and I decided I’d rather stay and live with how things are.

Damn, you are one hell of a loyal guy!

She is seriously lucky to have someone as devoted as you!

K, the reason I got interested in the sex denial strategy was just that it made me realize I never denied her sex when she wants to have some. Whenever she takes her panties off, or ask me to do it for her, I react like Pavlov’s dog. Always leads to having sex. Given that I recently handed over all initiatives to her in order to make her more confident, and also to make myself more flexible regarding where and when I can enjoy having sex, I find that particular aspect of my behavior counterproductive. I believe a denial strategy in one form or another can be effective here.

I don’t believe there are any silver bullets for complex issues like ‘low female libido’. Everything needs to be adapted and transformed to fit your particular situation and relation.

My wife would get the attitude if I ever asked for sex when she wasn’t feeling like it of “You said no to me, so how’s it feel?”

Why do women have to be so damn complicated - and stingy with their pussy?

Vater, as I understand it the key to a successful ‘denial strategy’ is to show attention, love and affection in all kinds of ways, except by having sex. This corresponds well to what many women complain about: their men seem fully satisfied in the emotional department just by having sex, and they require much more to feel happy. The way I see it, active denial of sex for a while can make both parties aware of the full range of emotional needs of the other. It also resembles some sex therapies that uses massage without any expectations of sex as a way to awaken her (or his) libido.

I can give you an example how I just started a little experiment in that direction, very carefully just to get a feel of how she reacts. When she finally ripped her panties off this morning, it was a week since the last time we had sex. I needed her to pay more attention to what we talked about a couple of weeks ago, and I was worried the great improvements I saw lately was just virtual. Now that she rang the bell, I decided to suddenly stop acting like Pavlov’s dog. Instead I just cuddled up behind her, for the first time ever in that situation. I could not stop my hands from stroking her as usual, but I avoided the hot spots this time. After a while she grabbed my pole gently, as if to be ensured I still got the usual morning boner. She is used to my playful habits of slapping her thighs with it, that I press it against her butt or something like that (she almost never falls for that trick of course…). Now I did nothing at all, and it felt quite nice actually. A couple of minutes later she adjusted her position and tried to steer it into her, but after some more minutes of sleepy attempts she dozed off with my cock in her hand. Then I fell asleep while stroking and kissing her. When we woke up she said that she really had to take a pee as if excusing herself for not continuing her sleepy invite for sex. According to the denial strategy experts, she will soon try again, more decisive. The biggest question is how long I can continue the denial/ignore strategy, or rather, to replace sex with massages and other forms of showing love and affection. Probably not for very long. The massage skills and romantic routines will certainly become a welcome love booster by itself, maybe that is a good part of the explanation this strategy can be so successful sometimes.

In cases where sex currently is too infrequent or where this strategy otherwise seems like a too stupid thing to even try, the thread mentioned earlier by DarkTrick contains a very successful story about how a “courting strategy” can work. Please read it, page 3 in that thread.

Just in case someone is interested how a “denial strategy” may turn out, executed by a weakling (I had to capitulate yesterday…)

- Sunday: the “soft denial” in the morning, nothing worth noting happened during the day.
- Monday: maybe she was a little more into hugging and kissing than usual. I gave her an oil massage in the evening due to some neck pains she complained about.
- Tuesday: She suggested we should buy some training equipment that motivates ourselves to get in shape. S&G: what did you say? Had no idea that was so important :-) Ok, said and done. A heavy crosstrainer was our choice, a couple of hours later I tightened the last bolt on our new living room health icon. We trained quite a bit that evening, very smooth and effective type of exercise that is easy on the joints and fun actually. It is a pure pleasure to see her in action on that elliptical, flowing through air - she was watching a film, knowing that I couldn’t take my eyes off her backside…. Later in the evening she gave me an exclusive live show in candle light as a total surprise after the shower, allowing for some interactive stuff towards the end… absolutely irresistible. I had no idea she could be such a naughty girl, masturbating to orgasm right in front of me.. It seems to arouse her immensely to be in total control of my excitement, and to see my reactions. After the show we fooled around like maniacs, some kind of game, taking turns who was in charge. This is funny since a decade-old bondage session where I was in total control was my idea of the most exciting thing she ever did with me. Yesterdays experience now replaces number one on that list hands down.

Maybe it doesn’t matter but I’d say it is a two-way adaptation - rather than single-sided manipulation - that is going on in the denial game. What I rejected was just the old, defunct patterns of behavior that killed her sexual appetite in the first place, a reinforcement of the stuff we already talked about. That’s the way it seems to work for us anyway.

I don’t think there is any greater way to release her sexuality than true open and honest communication.

Having said that…if she isn’t interested in your happiness…or visa versa, it won’t result in any improvments.

An honest and open jerk is still a jerk!

Choose carefully who you marry, avoid being and marrying jerks.

A poor choice cannot be overcome by all the stratagies in the world.

Sparkyx

K-man, has your situation gotten any better?

Here’s a little advice guys. Most of you probably already know this, so excuse me if it’s repetitive information.
First off, all women, are complete dirty sluts. I don’t tell it to them like that though. I say something like this if I’m actually talking to a woman. “Look baby, underneath all that anger, stress, or whatever, lives a women, with a carnal desire, just to be taken over my a man and shown what it is to feel like a woman”

Now as you probably already know, women are emotional. More than us. I work my wife up a lot. We do a lot of shit together. Sex goes off and on, but I try to keep it fresh. I don’t even want to go through a period again, of me, blowing my seed in to a towel night after night watching porno on the pc.

You’ve go to do stuff. Outrageous stuff. Think of the outside world as a playground, for you and your misses. Send her text messages on her phone, tell her how your going to splatter her pussy walls, shoot streams of cum against her cervix.

We drive around town and she flashes her tits out the window. I recently discovered by accident looking through the computer history that my wife has a hidden S+M fetish. Imagine that shit ha? She thought it was too weird to tell me. Too weird to tell the guy that looks at shemale videos, sucks my own cum out of her pussy and likes her to do me with the strap on, LOL. Nope, I’m not afraid to admit any of this. So I took her to a S+M shop and she reluctantly came. Bought a set of cuffs, a collar with a chain, a whip, a paddle and some liquid latex.

Turns out this lady really likes to be spanked. I spanked her ass red the first time and you wouldn’t believe the puddle of cum she produced. Like a good boy, I licked it all up. Every drop and swallowed it.

Kevin

That’s cool! I can see how that could make a persons sex drive go up. Its like a natural animal instinct to protect what is yours and to reaffirm your sexual prowess

Now what I really wanted to say was that some women get upset about stuff, they seem to build an outer shell of worry, and some other things. Life will get in the way of your sex life. Money will make you hate each other. If you really love each other, you must try real hard not to let LIFES BULLSHIT get in the way. That’s what happens. What is worth, in life, getting in the way of your love for your woman? Ha? NOTHING? Fuck it all. I’ve told my wife. If I lose my job, whatever, house goes away, whatever. Money is a tool, it comes and goes and is not worth getting in the way of anything in your personal life. The matrix will always try to beat you down. You must remain strong as a couple in order to survive. The world will make you fail. You must not let it. If everything goes away, what is left? The one person in my life that I can trust. The only one in the world I can trust. My wife. That’s how I look at it.

Also, as women get older and you get stupider (me too) we lose contact. As much as it pains you, women like to talk at the end of the day. Make a committment to spend 10-15 minutes to ask her how she is, to tell her how sexy she looks. An inch will go a mile here. You gotta do this shit guys, caus sooner or later if you don’t, some other asshole will come alone and make you wish you had.

That’s how it works. Also, the bedroom. Now forget about your load and your dick and show the lady what is up. Exhibit a little control and show her how she wants to feel. You can pop a nut anytime you want. Now it’s the ladys turn to be shown that you can make her feel good. I don’t have to go into details about all that, do I? We’re talkin common sense shit here guys.

Kevin