Hard vs Big

I think we focus way to much on size as men and push aside the issue of cock hardness. I know I did the first 2 years of PE. I worked out vigorously, making my cock as huge as I could get it, and the most of the compliments I got from Wifey were about hardness. “Wow, that thing was hard tonight!”. She would say this because my dick was no longer consistently rock hard as it was before I started PE and also as a younger man.

I say we focus too much on size because of all the charts, surveys, graphs, interviews are all about size. I have not met a woman yet that would NOT prefer hardness over size. I talked to an old gal a few years back and she said, “Yeah, big dicks are nice but they sure don’t get hard!” And this was a bar fly that had seen her share, for sure.

As my dick has gotten bigger over the years of PE, It is STILL the hardness issue that makes Wifey comment a lot more than size. So, I think we should be working more in finding out what makes your dick hard. Is it vitamins? Bathmates? Squats? I honestly believe this should be more of our focus. I think we will have much happier women. Since I backed off the hard workouts and just doing some BM work in the shower, my dick has been rock hard again. I am happier and so is she.

Good point. I read quite a lot of erotica/factual sex accounts online, and hardness (as opposed to and in conjunction with) dick size is a very noticeable theme when women are describing favorably. Seems like it gets them off almost as much if not as much as a nice big dick.

So much so in fact that like you I have started to make more of an effort to maximise hardness as opposed to just size.

Good way to put it.

Just to drive my point a bit more. When Wifey found my BM, if I would have told he it was for size, I am positive she would have first laughed, and then made me stop using it. However, I told her it was for erection quality and hardness and she is totally for it. She even made a comment as to how hard it has been recently. She is very favorable about the whole thing.

Since a lot of women likely don’t believe that adult penis growth is possible, maybe they think the change they are feeling is entirely due to better hardness. When in reality might be improvement in size and hardness.

I have always viewed PE as part of my overall health and fitness. Sure it makes your penis larger but stiffness is a major factor as said in this thread. For instance some porn-stars will have a massive penis but lacking hardness while others would have an above average penis with diamond hard boners. I always trained with the idea that if I began to notice a decline in hardness I would revamp my routine to regain the loss and if I saw no improvement I would stop PE to solve the issue.

I have been fortunate in my PE career that hardness has increased when I follow a routine and not decreased. My personal recommendations are

exercise (endurance cardio, hiit, weightlifting, etc.)

proper diet, lots of water and cycling of supplements if any

Sexual Training (PE, Thrusts, Kegels, Training for staying power, etc.)

Those are just a few because hardness varies so much; it is of course also affected by state of mind as well. Once again showing the many different areas of P.E.

Interesting.

I rate hardness and penis health as much more important than sheer size.

That may be true but I believe hardness and health is a given for most men while size, specifically bigger size, is not.

Wouldn’t be that sure, my friend, expecially when you are 40+.

Hardness is way more important than size. And, not to throw around s**t, but I do believe that over a given size hardness is…harder to mantain.

I’d assume they all prefer big AND hard.

I’ve always wondered if that would happen to me given my size and age. At 43, I’ve never been harder. I’m sure it’s because of the health that PE brings through edging and jelqing.

It is obvious that having a sex session with a 90-100% erection level it is like having sex with a 70-80% erection level cock that is 21% bigger in terms of size. That means that roughly in terms of penile volume inside the vagina 95% erection over 75% is like having a 21% bigger cock.

Also considering the fact that hardness adds a lot in terms of sensation and general pleasure, you can add quite some more to that 21%. Even double it up theoretically.

So yes, hardness for me plays a bigger role but unfortunately my current length routine is not the best for ameliorating it.

Good observations. I’ve thought about focusing on hardness rather than growth. Honestly there is no need for me to get bigger, other than I want to.

There’s a book about this issue, written for middle aged guys. Called The Hardness Factor, by Dr. Stephen Lamm MD (a urologist)

The Hardness Factor (TM): How to Achieve Your Best Health and Sexual Fitness at Any Age
http://www.amaz … /dp/0061235202/

I skimmed the book at the bookstore a few years ago:

Here is what I am remembering

- nutrition
- overall fitness, cardio vascular fitness (there was an exercise program)
- kegels
- supps including L-arginine, horny goat weed, and others

There may have been more, I am forgetting. Probably the middle age causes that. Guess I will have to buy that book off of ebay or something.

There is no question that hardness is much more important than size for most women.

I agree that hardness and girth is more important to most women based on my experience.