Rethinking how much size matters to women

Bane1, I think you should know that most of the members here have an inflated idea of what is an average size for a male. So when reading some of the posts here, you may feel “small”, but don't.

I see myself as huge, and even I can sometimes feel like I’m not so big when I read some people’s posts. For example if they say “I’m only 7” x 5.3” “, I think, “Wait a minute, only?! I’m not all that much more than that!”. But then I realise that people here really do have an inflated view of what’s a normal size.

I suggest you read Invisible’s threads on the what the normal size range really is; those threads are fantastic.

Good Luck with PE!

Bane,

Whatever your size, you have infinite potential to grow. Bask in the glory of this site. Learn what you can. Start recording your progress, though I wouldn’t measure more than every two weeks (once a month for me) as it can be discouraging. When you DO see a change on paper it’ll give you a glowing confidence that will never subside.

It’s a slow process. But no matter what your starting out with, incredible transformations are possible.

Best of luck! (not that you need it :p )

Bane, the averages are so much lower than you think. For example, here in the US the average NBPEL is something like 5 inches even. So for every 6 inch guy, there’s a 4 inch guy (roughly, it’s not perfectly distributed like that, and if you read through the thread: The (statistical) Truth About Cock Size,
You will learn all you need to know about that, too).

I think the first step is helping reduce some of your angst is to better understand the reality of size and where you "fit" into that distribution. Don’t you think that knowing you are normal is important? Right now I think you’ve got a real skewed perspective on size, if you say things such as "I at least want to have an adaquate size 7-7.5". That is not just adequate, that is "large" and in the top 10-15% of sizes. You, even if you are at 4-5 inches, are still in the "adequate" category. Perhaps a bit under the average, but there is no crime in that. Someone has to be, right? Think of it another way, in terms of "median". Most guys, are either above it, or below it. Only a small percentage are actually the median size (at least, in normal distributions, it’s a relatively small percentage)

So the fear that women will somehow shun you for having a small penis is mostly unfounded. A woman who has only slept with you will not have any benchmark to make any relative judgement about your size, and a woman who has slept with a lot of men will probably have had both small and big men.

First post here, it will be a long one because I have a big point to make:

Let me just say something to put things in a little context for the ‘size is everything to every girl’ gang who think they need to be 8x6 or their girlfriend will always yearn for the ‘Mr Big’ from the past.

This is an actual set of quotes from an instant message session (screen names modified), from an ex girlfriend who moved away, with me being a guy who has a dick size near what I see as many’s goals (7.75bpx5.7), once again incorrectly caught thinking I’m God’s gift to vaginas.

* I’m sean-mark in the below conversation, talking about her coming to visit

Sean-mark: you can even sleep in a separate room
Sean-mark: no funny business :)
2005olyalya2003: yeah, will lock your door?
Sean-mark: why, you going to sneak in?
2005olyalya2003: I will knock it down
2005olyalya2003: and ride on you
2005olyalya2003: that last time was good
Sean-mark: lol has it been that long? Hahah
2005olyalya2003: yeah
2005olyalya2003: yeah, maybe just tie you up and use you
Sean-mark: haha you are horny, I see
2005olyalya2003: yeah, vibrator doesn’t help
Sean-mark: at least you get vibrator.I’m a guy, I have nothing
2005olyalya2003: you have two hands
Sean-mark: 2 hands isnt enough
Sean-mark: :P
Sean-mark: maybe 2 and half
2005olyalya2003: I told you that you can keep that extra inch
Sean-mark: haha you always complained abt that
Sean-mark: so funny
Sean-mark: the 2 hands would have been perfect for you I guess
2005olyalya2003: yes
2005olyalya2003: but size doesn’t matter, I mean I like big size but
2005olyalya2003: you were too much actually hurting me
2005olyalya2003: it was better when I rode so I could stop it from all the way
2005olyalya2003: but then we didn’t get to try enough positions

And later..

Sean-mark: whats your favorite thing abt having sex with me
Sean-mark: I think mine was.hmmm it was how flexible you are.and your screaming of course..
2005olyalya2003: haha,I can scream for you over the phone
2005olyalya2003: I liked to touch your skin, and the way your body felt over me, and your smell. And best of course your tongue

See that guys? This was an actual girl. A hot Russian girl actually (one of my favorite delicacies), and tallish (5’6), and rather experienced in bed.

What can we draw from this:

1) Clearly, size isn’t everything to everyone

Don’t get me wrong, I can give plenty of examples of women enamored by my size (will share some of those later), but for every one of those there’s around one of these. And I’m not massive, just big. And to be honest, I personally feel I can satisfy women much better with hands, tongue and creativity than with a substantial dick. I have no stamina problems, or firmness problems; I just find that many women love oral MORE than sex if done right, and while you’re at it throw a finger or 3 in there (or a vibrator, gentle @ first).

2) When your girlfriend says “yeah my ex was bigger than you, but he was too big for me”, she means it.

She probably told her EX he was too big and it may have even been a sexual problem for them. In this case, we would stop all the time because I was hitting the cervix. Many women really don’t like that. She’s probably not lusting after her ‘big dicked’ ex.

3) Stop the thinking that ‘good girls like small dicks and bad girls like big dicks’

This was a ‘bad girl’, she was experienced, great in bed, liked rough sex and was very orgasmic. She also happened to prefer avg or slightly over avg penis size, and definitely not big or massive. Liking big dicks isn’t just for ‘wild chicks’, and liking smaller dicks isn’t just for ‘boring chicks’. Stop thinking that a big dick is out there waiting to give your girlfriend the “dicking down” that “she always desired”. Some girls would much prefer you perfect the ‘reverse upside-down helicopter’ position than a have a bigger dick.

4) Our perception of penis sizes is way off, still (more to come on this topic later)

She said “I like big size but you were hurting me”.well, I’m not Mandingo over here.

You don’t need to be 8x6 for it to be “huge” to girls. This girl guessed my size at “over 8 inches” on our first encounter. Non bone pressed, I am barely over 7 inches. And she also told a friend in my presence, “it’s as thick as (her) wrist”, which it’s definitely not at 5.7” girth.

So to her “over 8 and too big” is really 7”. Thus, “big” is probably 6-6.5”. (More on this later)

In conclusion, this girl liked sex with me in-spite of, not because of my larger than average penis. Her list of what she liked about me sexually had nothing to do with my penis, and the penis was actually a source of complaint! Focus on getting each part of your sex game above board, because each girl really is different. It’s not all dick size you know!

Mr.black

You’re a contender for the Best First Post award, Mr.black.

This has been touched on before I know it, but there is certainly a “bragging rights” issue with girls about who’s had the biggest dick which I could quite easily see turning into a pissing competition if you excuse the analogy.

For example, imagine a group of girls in the local bar sitting around a table with a bottle of Rose. After two or three glasses, the conversation turns to sex (as it inevitably would) and girl A recounts the time she battled with a 8.5x6 nbp (yeah right more like a 7.5 x 5) she knew it was that size “because he told me” etc. Then girl B pips up, probably after a pregnant pause and recounts how she had guy who swore he was 9” etc etc etc.

This scenario must replay itself a thouand times a day in bars, clubs and cafes all over the world. Moral of the story guys, despite all their mind games, aloofness and seeminlgy illogical choice of partner, there is nothing NOTHING that gets heterosexual women more frenzied than the mere mention let alone sight of a huge dick, particulary if one of their friends claims to have encountered the beast.

At the moment I guesstimate I’m at around 6.75 x 5.25 nbp (almost two weeks back in just over 6.5nbp at start) an annoying measure as it’s not long enough to be classed as “big” but a bit bigger than average due to the girth. My sexual experiences have pretty much confirmed this, as whilst I have rarely been complimented on size directly, since starting PE I have had way more “two night stands” from the girl wanting another session wheras back in the old days of 6” I would rarely if ever get that.

You know guys I have a theory about this very controversial thread.

Size matters to women exactly as good boobs and nice ass matters to men.

Simple as that.

The problem is, I don’t focus on boobs and ass. I prefer women who are either sophisticated, ratchet, sexual, or just compatible with me (like-able face is a given).

Ratchet is used to describe a girl who has a bit of ghetto in her. While at the same time, is down to Earth, trust able/honest, sexual, laid back, doesn’t over judge what you do, has your back, and overall just know how to keep your attention (Its slang).

First off, thanks much for the generous welcome Lampwick.

Secondly,

Exactly!

But do most men want triple E size boobs and a butt too big to fit in a captain’s chair? No, we want a nice set of firm, slightly larger than average (maybe D’s instead of C’s) and a nice toned round bottom. Sure, it may be fun to look at a ‘ghetto booty’ and a massive porn star rack on occasion, but most men wouldn’t really want it in general.

Just as most women probably might think the idea of (what they believe to be) a 10” is fun in fantasy, but would honestly prefer a nice 6-7” or maybe 7-8” max in real life.

Mr.black

Well,I guess penis size matters as much for them as their boob size matters for us men?

I guess the ones that doesnt care about size is:

1:Wimmen with Low sex drive,& the ones that prioritice sex on 12th place,after fixin the lawn

2:Tight wimmen with bad lubrication

3:Clitoris freaks that can’t have any sensation regarding penetration

4:Havnt tried a big one

5:Met Joe Clumsy that just nailed them.Joe hasnt understod that driving a truck isnt as a easy as

Driving a car.You need specific drivers license.

From my experience talking to a lot of girls, many of them have met Joe Clumsy. I actually hear that a lot.

I don’t know it seems that based on my experience talking with my female friends it seems that size is important to an extent. When someone is very big or very small it amuses them the same way we marvel with huge tits or ass every once in a while.

But in the long run I think that as mr.black said, most women out there would be more than happy with a penis between 7- 8” long and 5.5-6” girth, which is big but not huge.

Wow! This is exactly how I feel now and have for quite some time. I too just cannot beleive my wides positive remarks, I just think she’s playin it safe and saying what she thinks I want to hear.

This is a great point. Imagine for a second that breast size was totally 100% obscured by women’s clothing, meaning you couldn’t even get an idea of the size unless a women was naked. Now imagine that bras didn’t have sizes written on them, so you couldn’t get an accurate read on cup/measurement when the girl runs off to the bathroom to hose down (don’t pretend you don’t do that too).

In this scenario, men would have to “guess” at boob sizes, and go off of what women tell them. Imagine how BIG that pair of large C cups or even D cups would suddenly become when you’re in a bar telling stories to your friends? THIIIIS BIIIIG, I’m sure.

Now add porn to that, as the only place where women can generally view breasts. Of course, porn stars frequently have firm D’s or above. So, 90% of women would view this and think it’s what everyone else has. But of course, it’s not.

Within weeks, the myth would suddenly pop up that women all over are running around with perfect, firm DD cups, even though we know this to be far from the case. And soon, women would be telling other women that they have DD cups, when they have floppy B’s. And telling their BFs that their D’s are E’s.

Eventually, all women with less than a large, perfectly firm D or a DD would feel inadequate, even though both of those are far from the average and most men never see a pair in their lives.

Sound familiar?

Mr.black

This is an interesting thread. I used to think all women thought bigger is better but now I have changed.

My current girlfriend tells me I am to big and to make it smaller. I am 7.5x5.5. At first I did not believe her but if have a long or hard session she can’t have sex for two or three days because she is sore. She tells me if I were a little smaller we could have sex for longer and more often. She is also one of the tightest women I have been with.

I have been with more than 500 women and never had complaints about being to small. Some tell me they love my size and a few have told me I am to big. I think it depends upon the woman, just like us they have different preferences. I had couple of woman that I could tell that they were experiencing some pain so I asked them. They both told me it hurts, but it hurts so good, don’t stop.

The there are two situations that have happened multiple times and still confuse me:
I am with woman who is not very tight and they say I am to big and it hurts.

I am with a woman who is so small that it even hurts me and they say it doesn’t hurt, no problem.

I had an experience where a girl friend talked to an ex-gf. When I was with the ex she could stop talking about how great the sex was and how much she loved my big tool. I did not like her and would stopped contacting her but she would try to contact me again from time to time. When my gf talked to her the ex said I had was too ugly and my penis was to small for her and added that I was terrible in bed and could not get hard. My gf replied she thought I was huge, I was always hard and the sex was the best she ever had.

The ex then countered with that my gf should leave me because I would be bankrupt soon. She even offered to introduce a new man to her! My gf replied she did not care about money and since she was all rich she would take care of me!

Women know our weak spots and are never afraid to use them. If they tell you are small or they’ve had bigger they are just trying to hurt you. Remember it is how much pleasure you get from your penis.