Rethinking how much size matters to women

That article has some good stuff on why you are experiencing what you are experiencing.

More from Dr. Boynton’s article:

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The reason sex therapists or medics are unwilling to discuss penis size is because men are still often not satisfied to hear their penis falls within an average size range - they want to be bigger than average.

Even if you tell guys they’re okay, often their body image worries means they’re still anxious.

A recent US study showed that men seeking penis enlargement consistently overestimate the average penis size of other men and drastically underestimate their own size.

Men get penis hang ups since they usually only see other penises in the changing rooms or toilets - where they view their dick downwards and everyone else's front or side on making other guys seem bigger.

Or they compare themselves with porn stars, where the actors are specifically chosen for their size - and filmed from flattering angles.

<SNIP>

That’s not to say that size worries don’t do a lot of damage to many men. Worrying about your penis can lead to relationship problems, avoiding sex or relationships, erectile dysfunction (not being able to get it up) or premature ejaculation (when you come too soon).

<Some Stuff about seeking counseling if size anxiety has become very severe.>

It’s common for men to have an occasional worry about their penis size - after seeing a bigger guy at the gym, following a negative comment from an ex-partner, or perhaps after reading somewhere you should have a bigger dick. Some gay men also report being under pressure to be big.

Research indicates it’s more common for younger or sexually inexperienced men to have size worries and, with time, these worries reduce. However, for some men it continues to be a problem throughout life.

Guys should start challenging a society that makes them feel they’re only a sexually attractive and functioning person if they have a slightly longer knob.

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That is an interesting article indeed. Dr. Boynton throws some serious arguments, especially about questions evolving around motivation and setting of participants of penis size studies.

I’ve found another article refering to a "study" by Professor Brody of The University of the West of Scotland soon to be published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. It claimes: "Female (vaginal) orgasms rely on penis size and mental focus…". The article also deals with possible political or educational motivations behind such a story.

Take a look at

http://www.abc. net.au/news/sto … /14/2685479.htm

Lol, considering they used only LENGTH and not GIRTH as part of the questionnaire is frighteningly uninformed. That is really a pathetic attempty at science.

Hey I appreciate everyones pick me ups and research tips, I have really learned quite a bit. Hopefully I’ll actually let some of it sink in and learn something. Though it certainly won’t be overnight. I am not calling any of you that shared information with me a hypocrite, but you are all here for the same reasons I am.

That being said, my intentions were never to take over this thread with a pitty party so I apologize that it went so askew. Feel free to forget my nonsense and move on with the topic.

I agree, partly. On the one hand it’s true that by ignoring girth they’ve missed a fairly great deal of what a penis is about, on the other hand I like the idea of seeing penile length mentioned as a crucial factor in female stimulation. I find there’s a rather unbalanced focus on girth in popular science these days, but that’s just my opinion. Aside from that you’re correct, Esc. Such a study can’t claim to be scientific. If you do a search about that Professor Brody you’ll find he’s an eager publisher of popular sex-educational books and articles. He probably makes a living saying those things about dicks which are far from science indeed.

Talking about length and (vs) girth; if you watch women using dildos on themselves, the VAST majority of them do not insert them all of the way.

In porn many positions only allow for the first 1/3 to half of the dude’s unit to penetrate the fagina.

Occasionally, you might here a woman talk about how much she likes length, but girth is where it’s at to most. (unless, of course, you are talking about how much of a variety of positions one can get into.) (length wins here, imho)

Yeah, believe me - given my stats I’d love for length to be very important. And I think to a certain degree it is! But not because more length = more pleasure, but because more length = easier to have sex. You can go in and out without worrying about slipping out. This is obviously important for having good sex. In this sense we can’t compare dildos to penises because a dildo isn’t really gonna slip out since she is holding onto it. So I think length is much more important in actual penises than dildos.

Pleasure-wise, I do think both matter but girth gets the edge no doubt.

It’s good that there are many different vaginae to match any penis size! :)

A minority of women (like my wife) specifically ask for deep stimulation and to these, length may count more than to others. Anyway, just length without a decent girth doesn’t do the job.

Really? Vaginas vary that much? I thought they were essentially all the same in depth. Does this relate in their body type or size? Is it all genetic and not from physical events? Meaning child birth or long term partner with overly long or thick penis, fisting etc.? If it is all genetic, then a guy could either get a big head or have his confidence crushed based on the internal size of his partners vagina he is having sex with.

Yup, they vary a ton in size. The tightness can be controlled to some degree by how conditioned her muscles down there are. The depth, though, is mostly out of her control (though it will vary with how aroused she is). Childbirth can change the depth and tightness for some women, but intercourse, no matter how big the penis, is not enough to cause any permanent changes. Oh, and no, you can’t predict vaginal size much from body type or size, any more than you can predict penis size from such indicators.

Guys we all know the real truth is … please quote me if you wish :

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

So basically start seeing things differently because everything you are seeing is because its the way you want to see it, so circumstances will happen in your life to make that true. I have studied a bit on the subconscious factors of the mind and this comes true for everyone that is above average but feels inadequate. Everything that comes to your subconscious beliefs about penis size it will back up with supreme force on a conscious level even though you may be wrong.

Let me get this straight, you gf/wife says “I think your size is perfect”. (You have an above average range 7 x 5.25)

Guy with strong beliefs about him being small : Was she just saying that to make me feel better about my small penis?

Guy that sees things positively and weights the facts : Yea i guess i am pretty big and should be proud of what i have.

You see guys the underlying beliefs people have about size are so obscured by your subconscious you don’t even begin to realise. Start seeing things in a more positive light and you will have a more successful sex life, this is what your aiming for isn’t it?

Remember you react the way you see things, this applies to all aspects of peoples lives.

STIMULUS>>>>>>RESPONSE

Great post ^

Yes, very good post .Parry. Too bad now with this information of varying penis size, my twisted mind says “well, it may not be your penis is perfect or big for her, it’s because she has a small vagina”. I beleive highly in that subconcious mind and seeing things how we want. But what is it called when someone acknowledges these facts, understands them, but doesn’t beleive them based off of what he/she has seen or heard. I get all the deep thoughts stuff but we are all here for the same thing. Check Titelist and Drilla out! Those guys are insane with the size they were born with, yet they want more.

Perry is touching on a very staple psychological nature of man, its impossible to get an objective truth about anything, since all our perception is inherently subjective. Without getting overly philosophical about this , I think with penis size there are so many qualifying factors that confuse the ideal of a supposed objective truth of “What is huge? What is big? What is average? What is small?”’

I think all one can do is decide for one’s self what the answers to these questions are for himself based on his experiences, whether they be academic, sexual or psychological. Then all you can do is decide how big you want to be. Then decide how this will happen and make it so.

Similar to what Perry’s seeing, a common method of achieving goals is to imagine yourself with the results you want, not just visually, but also how it will feel and what you will think.

You are exactly right, thanks.