Probably too long of a story to post really. Some childhood and upbringing stuff probably plays into it a bit. I never had a bad “sexual” encounter with negative feedback or the like. The thing that is burned into my mind happened about 14 years ago (I’m 33) and I for some reason showed it (not erect) to a female friend and she just quickly said “that’s a baby one”.
At least that is the most “recent” one and the one that I place the blame on. Actually the blame should really fall on me and how I’ve handled it all these years. It has lead to some embarrassing moments in my life, increasingly so as of late.
My wife was only with 2 other men a total of 3 times before me and I absolutely will not get past it all of the sudden. It only began bothering me in the last six months or so as my inadequacies have increased. I have convinced myself that one, or both of them was “packing” much more than I am and that they were far better lovers than I have ever been to her. I don’t want to think this way, it hurts, but literally everyday I battle this crap.
Current average: NBPEL 7(ish)" / MSEG: 5.25"
ST Goal : NBPEL: 7" / MSEG: 5.5"
LT Goal: NBPEL: 7.25" / MSEG: 6"