Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

I once took a licking from a failed relationship. It stung and I spiraled in to bouts of depression. We were engaged, soon to be married and the love just unraveled. It evaporated. She went nuts, like straight jacket crazy. I dumped her in the worst of ways. I took it hard. Hit the bottle. I had failed relationship after failed relationship for the better part of a year. I finally gave up and started working on myself and stopped caring and crawled out of my hole.

One day, I, went to a friend’s wedding. His ex girlfriend was there, with her boyfriend, who, ironically, was the best man. She clung to me the whole time. This seems less odd now, but was weird then. Her boyfriend even confronted me about it. I didn’t realize at the time, but she was going through a similar situation as me. I bumped into her a few months later and she came home with me. We clung to each other, had the penthouse forum sex and a quickly fell in love. We got married four years later and are still going strong 11 1/2 years later.

Point is, I couldn’t handle it either. I was in a bad place. So was she. We both said some things then that hurt but found each other and the peace and comfort we needed. I never knew what it was like to feel “right” with someone until then.

Yes, I love my wife more every day. I know it is cheesy, but it’s true, she wants me and I want her. The other interesting thing is that I was always hung up on looks, well neither of us are getting younger, I simply don’t care. She is beautiful to me:-) .

It’s comfy and is giving me a length stretch. But like you say you have to get it correctly placed. I insert flacid and pump it up. Half Kegels, if that makes sense, allows the blood to flow in. After I am errect I remove and replace the pump so it is on the point where my penis meet the pubic bone. Gives best results and consistent measuring.

I always wonder about relationships that come to us when we are our most down and out. I’ve dated one that once times looked up, the relationship seemed convenient at the time and less unique. More like we were both using each other as bandaids and we had healed.

Issue with that statement is stories like yours, that have a relationship that blossomed and deepened in time despite the original circumstances. I’d say I’m envious but the idea simply confuses me and I can only be happy for you.

Seems like you’ve got it well-handled. Pumping is all about the tube and placing it. Some tube shapes differ, just so you can place them certain small different ways. So, finding the ideal setup gets expensive and tedious. It’s good you found an adequate setup without spending big bread on a bunch of cylinders. That’s a poor way to figure it out, take it from me.

I have made decent gains in PE. This is largely because of the skin tag surgery and very poor EQ I started with. But even at the size I am now, some things get to me.

Today a black woman I vaguely remember walked up to me and hit on me. Claims we were “boyfriend and girlfriend just a little bit and your thing was like this long” and she’s holding her fingers like 10 inches apart.

Instantly I’m racing in my mind. “Did I sleep wrh this girl?” “Where would she get an idea of my size from?” “Is she for real?”

After about 40 seconds I put it together. She’s someone who was in a medical center I worked at, some time ago, getting free health care. At the time she wasn’t looking like a drugged out streetwalker, dressed gaudy with smeared silver lipstick. Back then, I got her number. We texted. I never talked sex or sent pics. We never got anywhere. And now the sob story and the “down on her luck, do anything for a buck” look.

But it made me think. Does she usually use that come on line? Has she seen penises that big? I certainly do not fit the bill if she does. And for about 70 seconds I was insecure about myself. Because it all pointed to inadequacy. My mind still made that jump immediately. Despite all the facts I know to be true regarding averages, distribution and my own size.

Then…my mind told me to clock out immediately (2 minutes early) and leave. Because if she’s that weird, me turning her down and cussing her out in uniform would only look worse when she’s ready to exit the store. So I exited before more stupidity could result.

But…it came back like an old friend. Inadequacy, fear, low self esteem. It hides in the shadows of your conscious mind. Waiting to full gaps of uncertainty in with fear and insecurity. Cruel bit poignant reminder.

I am sure at some point during reading this post or seeing me post on other threads or reading my theory, thoughtfulgold’s Penis Enlargement as “Scheduled Trauma” theory that you’ve noted I advocate long breaks regularly. They serve the purpose of deconditioning you from exercises you’ve definitely grown accustomed to and refreshing the penis from the labors you put it through during the course of PE, like a vacation for your crotch. Part of this was stumbled upon by accident.

Many times in my PE career I found myself frustrated but still motivated to push on. The problem became less that I couldn’t gain; plateaus are a real problem but not the main one. The main problem became that routines that scaled into 2 or 3 hours or more weren’t practical and while a logical recourse were giving no gains at the stage of PE I was in.

Getting into heavier things like long duration pumping, multiple clamping sessions and edging for hours really eats the time away. It’s also very easy to build unhealthy masturbation habits doing PE, as porn detox and breaks from masturbation often result in breaks from PE by proxy. As many of us cannot do PE without porn or masturbation.

Personally I go on porn detox 2 or 3 times a year. Usually after I end up burned out and having masturbate daily for a week straight or more. It isn’t common for me but it’s a cycle, enough that I know how it tends to end. If my gains stall enough, I bait myself into edging more. This increases porn use, which increases ejaculations. Under the guise of edging that is productive I end up causing negative effects on my EQ and cum production. And if the endorphins from orgasms become necessary to stabilize your mood and you aren’t having regular sex this can lead to masturbation addiction, which can magnify any negative effects many times over the course of you dealing with this addiction.

This ultimately affects my body chemical balance. With lower or absent morning wood I don’t start the day with as much energy, which depending on the circumstances may lead to depression and overall ineffectiveness at basic tasks. Basically, I start the day feeling burnt out, spent, used up. This is fine if I’ve had marathon sex the night before and I’m sharing the bed with someone. That’s all well and good but…when I am day 5 into a masturbation loop and see negative PIs like turtling and I can’t muster the impetus to actually get something done like a responsible adult but barely, something has to change.

Plus, when you take a break from something that’s regimental in nature like PE will become…you get a sense of freedom. If you’ve ever trained in martial arts, exercised to body build or build stamina for track or just practiced a video game religiously because you’re in the professional gamer circuit, the first weeks that you stop doing the one thing that has defined your day for weeks, months or years even…is like being released from school on summer vacation that first time. It sets your body and mind on a different, maybe even foreign train of thought.

So often I take breaks from PE to get my mind back right. Snap myself out of a funk. Recenter myself on my long-term goals that aren’t PE related. You have to maintain perspective and not let PE consume your life. Even if your routine is just a half hour a day if you’re constantly thinking about your routine, how to modify it, doing piss pulls every time you use the bathroom and trying to mentally remember all states of your erection throughout the day…you’re devoting a lot of time to something that only matters when you’re looking in the mirror or en coitus. You have to remember the rest of your life, weigh it accordingly.

I’ve done these things many times. At low points in my life I took comfort in knowing I have the knowledge to change something many men on Earth would kill to be able to change. But…of the same token, it should not be the only thing you take comfort in during those low points. That in itself can build the obsession that can cause negative effects on your actual life outside of PE and spiral from there into the PE and masturbation addiction cycle I just detailed.

You have to stay sharp on yourself, because no one can moderate your own regiment and your performance of it. Balance and moderation in all things. Remember this. I remind myself when I forget and I will be practicing this for a while and picking up PE again after a month or two.

Interesting take as always TG. You decondition 2-3 times a year? How long do you go for without PE? I believe I’m starting to see some length gains from pumping but once those stall I believe I’ll take a break.

I know how you feel, I talk “shop” with female friends from time to time. None of them are size queens by a long shot, it’s strange how women arbitrarily throwing two fingers in the air with little forethought can affect your psyche so much.

I honestly can’t tell you. I PE according to my mood these days. If I masturbate too much, there’s no benefit from PE so I break for a month or two. In a 12 month year I’m probably off 4 or 5 months total. This counts for the week break I take every 6 and any extended breaks so it’s a total for the year not just for long breaks.

So I only go hard 2 or 3 months at a time and into another 6 week set I may have a setback. Experience low energy. Masturbate for an entire week. Those times signify it’s time to ease off the penis, in my book.

Keep in mind, I’ve been at PE so long that gains are tiny and it’s hard to stay motivated so I need to keep a fresh mind on it to get anything done. Breaks don’t hurt. The mental capacity to want to do PE returns if you take longer breaks as well. This is key, especially as your PE career stretches on into several years.

I love it when you work out something is counter intuitive. In this case more is less and less is more.

I just did a deconditioning break for 1 week and gained 1/8 inch in girth.

I’m going to add the newbie routine into my routine. Until now I hadn’t bothered with length and was just pumping and clamping. I figure 2 days newbie, one rest, 2 days of clamp and pump, 1 or 2 days rest.

Nice and informative thread.

Contrast that with this. 707tractacus links this post in one of his regarding insecurity.

What Are The Odds?: The Experience Woman

Arguably one of the best simple numerical representations of the simple “Am I the biggest/smallest she’s seen?” In easily read odds. They can throw their hands up and move their fingers any number of ways. The question becomes…what are the odds they’re telling the truth? Typically low but…now you can see how low. I hate it messing with my head but I admit it, it is what it is and happens still from time to time sadly enough.

Less is more, more often than I wanted to believe. It’s easy to push harder and believe more is more. But you have to be honest. I’m sure for some they get more out of being hard on their units. Personally, the injuries aren’t worth it.

Regular, easy, less complex gains are best. I’ve seen some routines that punish a unit hard. I own devices that make no sense and were almost guaranteed torture for me. But…all of it served to teach the same conclusion.

More time and torque isn’t always the answer when gains stall. But that’s just me.

TG, this also tracks with the Taoist thinking of Action through Inaction. Which doesn’t mean you do nothing but rather are deliberate in both you Actions and Inactions.

Bruce Lee explained it in a book I read. To punch really hard without paying attention also stimulates the muscles that hinder the punch. By deliberate inaction and attending to not slimulating, flexing, those antagonist muscles your punch will be both harder and much faster.

Also in relation to post 52. Sound advice TG, very sound indeed. You posts have helped me with much more than PE after going through a low, depression, due to a Psychopathic boss, bully. I’m in a much better place in my head and my crotch!

Thanks again.

I am always of the mind that things like this are a journey. PE isn’t just “working out your dick”, it’s just like anything else you undertake. Because it is an endeavor. And as long as you keep the mindset that you understand where you’re going, it can help you in all aspects of life. What do gym regiments, martial arts, and PE have in common? Discipline, temperance, determination, patience.

And like any of the ones listed, PE will frustrate you. There will be obstacles. It will take longer than you want to reach certain goals…and you have to be able to step back…realize those things for what they are. Stop punishing yourself for failures and learn from them. It is really all the same stuff. And…when I wrote Post #52…I had lapses in my own PE discipline. I had lost motivation and hope for a while. And I had to keep it in perspective and step back. It’s why I’m on a long break now but…if not for some introspection I’d just be in that downward spiral.

All things are choices. Action or inaction. I may not be a Taoist but I can definitely identify with that truth and Bruce Lee is an idol of mine.

I’m so glad that my posts can help you, PE and otherwise. All I do is put up the experiences I’ve had and hopefully they resonate enough to help someone else. So I’m happy that you could benefit, Shaun.