Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

I’m a research type and gadget guy. An ISTJ on the Meyers-briggs spectrum. So, I spend a lot of time contemplating the PE path. It’s also how I’ve tried EVERYTHING and have an opinion on damn near every device type.

I don’t advocate my method cuz it’s expensive but it is thorough, using data and plotting points and comparing usable theory. DeepWrath and kavemonster (somewhat) as well as a few others do regular device use and fluidly change them similarly to my own patterns. They spend a lot of time doing theory research and asking questions and see devices as optimization tools like I do.

I have tailored my approach to my goals and shape of my penis, so many people apply devices differently for different reasons. I am convinced that ADS don’t work as well for me outside of Newbie gains due to the nature of my curve and part of that generated my ADS bias. But, my application of theory is based on my results and interactions. This is one more reason I’m hesitant to give certain levels of advice. I know much of my experience is subjective due to my unique circumstances.

It doesn’t make my method superior. It just is one of the things that actually makes it unique and in my opinion viable and feasible over a protracted period like 8 years.

Today, my mother regaled me with a story of my birth. One that included my circumcision. It was quite an event. It happened at 1.5 years old and I needed anesthesia for the procedure. Lasting effects on a toddler in such a sensitive area are unknown and perhaps part of my sensitivity issues. Obviously, more developing happened, more nerves were cut out, more scar tissue was generated because…well…I was bigger than I was at birth.

Additionally, she didn’t want me circumcised at all to be honest and my father pushed the point. So, her concern about them doing me serious harm actually extended to her not having it done if she had a choice but…drama.

All of this frames up into a series of things that added to weird contexts to my physical development and it adds clarity to why my mother always saw me as an emaciated youth hung like a hamster. We all struggle with inadequacy on some level, sometimes. But it stems from someone giving us the idea that we aren’t enough to start with. And I suppose my parents were AWESOME about it. Yay. *shrugs*

I am more convinced than ever that tactical use of clamped bends and PE4F pumping will yield some good gains that may actually get my mid shaft closer to my base. At least continuing the trend of reducing and eliminating my curve that has been a priority from the very start of my PE career. My axe handled has arrived and it is just tall enough for me to use with an erection while sitting in my computer chair for a fulcrum for Erect Bends (while clamped or not). So, in that, so far so good. I haven’t ordered the pump, oil or cylinder yet. But, soon…probably later this week, I will.

I look at the things I write in this journal and I realize I come to different conclusions sometimes. But, I again say…I know full well that size isn’t everything. That technique and finding the right partner for you emotionally and mentally matters more than anything. My motives to get bigger and bigger are my own. I enjoy the journey and I accept that my size can be a hindrance and I welcome whatever happens because these are choices I had the privilege to make and I chose to make.

As, there is a strong chance I can reach 7” MSEG if I apply these techniques well. It may take a year or two from where I am now but…I’m on a strong path with the subliminal audios, the IPR tactics and the stronger and happier self-concept that is finally creating a self-image that I like to see in the mirror. These things are why I continue. After a point, size is immaterial. It is what you want to do and why you want to do it that make doing PE or any self-improvement a worthy long-term goal. I’ve never met a body builder that said “I’ll only get ‘x amount more bigger’ so that I don’t look weird or don’t need new clothes.” because it isn’t how they consider the self-improvement journey. My PE, if I reach 7” or greater MSEG, will conclude only when I feel like I’m ready. It doesn’t really have any stipulations.

I have found that self-improvement is a fluid journey, how we see our goals now will change as they near and we understand them better. There isn’t any point in speculating. Just do what it is you want to do, with all of your heart and when you find that you need to change tactics or re-evaluate your reasons be honest and do that, when that time comes. People love reviving or creating new threads that ask “what is the best size” or “what is the biggest comfortable size” or “what size is most versatile” and none of those answers matter and every last one of them is opinion. Find what you really want to be, do and reach…and get moving. It will be a better use of your energy and you will have a concrete opinion of all of those things at the end. I absolutely guarantee it.

Your Size

Could you talk about pumping injury?

I’m guessing you have injured yourself before.

Today, most of my pieces came and I was very happy with myself. However, the large pump and oil aren’t here yet (as well as teh microphone stand for setup) so…not quite ready. I will set up the entire experiment in its own progress thread with pictures. With a complete shopping list. And then, I’ll make some shit work. I posted a couple of pictures to start the new year off in my other thread so…did that and…that’s the update for now. Ruler: Lost in the Sauce.

This year, among all the PE things I’ve bought…I decided I would buy some stake in Thunder’s Place. I came to my screen and a missed click had opened the donation window and…I saw the “donate” or “subscribe” options. Only one user currently subscribes.

ErnieBanks.

And it’s a lonely thing I’m sure. I couldn’t afford much but I subscribed. How else can I help men everywhere but keeping the place alive that gave me new hope?

Let me tell you a story, the story of a boy much like other boys too nerdy to talk to women in person. Let me tell you that story and multiply story many thousands of times and after I multiply that story I want you to find all of those boys in one place online. Take the OKCupid website and use it as a concept, a gathering of misfit boys. A place where they are the majority but by Nature surrender all agency in power to the minority, the pretty and smart woman. The same exact dream girl they all send the same message to.

The very mechanic that supposedly gives a man the ability to find women because many fish are in the sea is the same mechanic that made it impossible up until recently for a woman to find a man in the sea because she could find no water to swim in that did not have a man in it.

On Cupid they are now implementing a change that will unclutter the inboxes of woman. Cupid calls it a staggering amount of messages, an amount so intimidating that it made logging on a chore. Now, if a woman hasn’t liked your profile before you send a message she will not see your message unless she sees your profile in her own regular surfing pattern. Your message will be attached to your profile when she clicks on it. Her inbox will only light up on men she has not passed on that she has already clicked like on or that she initiated contact with should that man respond.

It basically nearly guarantees that 90% of men who send messages won’t get them red ever. And it is a staggering amount of messages that a woman will receive but it reduces the impetus for a man to send a message if he does not have a reasonable summation that a woman will read it at all. That a woman will be able to read it at all, even if she may want to buy simply hasn’t seen your profile yet.

Incidentally, the ability for a man to see exactly which women have clicked the “like” button on him is a paid feature that he can been buy a subscription for. A feature that now only guarantees that you can light up a woman’s inbox box with your message instead of highlight your profile and hope she clicks it. The new message features also automatically delete messages you do not respond to, so even if you do light up her inbox that will not last long.

The proposed changes they claim have resulted in more connections for every sexuality and gender combination. Personally, I don’t see how that is. However if that is what they believe the future is then I will continue my quest to find a mate in person. Disabling my profile makes sense as it is already hard enough to send messages knowing they may not be read but now knowing there is a good chance they cannot be read. That crosses the line. It devalues my effort to a point below notice. It is a concept that I personally will not abide by.

You cannot expect a man to tirelessly improve himself to prove himself for a woman that is rendered incapable of noticing his ministrations and efforts. I don’t use my PE endeavors to add value to myself as a male to any perspective female mate prospect. However many of us do and if online dating continue this trend it will be a very difficult sale to say the least.

I once heard a guy talk about one of the best strategies I ever heard to improve online dating success.

1. He made a fake profile of his dream girl (using a friend’s photo) and studied the 1000000 messages that landed in the inbox.

2. He made multiple versions of himself emphasizing different aspects of his personality. Studying the statistical success of each.

3. He statistically tested message headers and discovered that the one with the best open rate was “Fuck You”

He got tons of dates and married his wife this way.

Well, if that’s the kind of time he has then that’s one very unique approach. Headers aren’t a part of message format any longer, haven’t been for a good while and no amount of message crafting will get your message read if it’s pinned to your profile and she never clicks you.

Though that is a very interesting tale indeed.

Finally just read through the first page and intro of yours and must say I now know why you chose the online name you have.

It’s a really fitting name and cudos for giving great advice, no hocus pocus magic tricks just good ol’ time and persistence. Respect.

Every now and again, I look at the numbers. I go to a place and I use some numerical basis to ground myself in reality however brief. Personally, I use sizemeup.info the most. It simply is where I go but you can go to a few other sites that plug in similar/identical data and offer you an ‘objective’ view about your size or your size goals, or your flaccid size. Whatever you plug into the damn thing.

I have attached a few pics below, that I screenshot to keep track of things. Some are places I’ve been before gains faded, some are places I want to go. Some are places I’ve been and how far away I am but…the ones below now…are where I’m starting this year. Spoiler: It’s pretty large.

I do not talk about my size directly in posts on other topics on this site. I do not like doing so. It is not only not everyone’s business but it is literally not respectful to others who are either intimidated or still searching for their first gains to make PE a good endeavor for them. I only talk about things like this here in my journal from time to time.

The first two “Truth” pics are erect measurements. And if you look at the difference in plugged in numbers (first is 8.5x6” and the second is 8.75x6” with +.25” on Erect Length) in the grand scheme changes absolutely nothing. The calculator confirms it, with hard calculations. It is still, 2.7 times the average erection size by volume. The level of difference isn’t wide enough in Erect Length to matter to anyone who has ever done a penis size study but me, the not-objective guy with the ruler measuring his penis. That’s the only difference in the numbers there, my own pride and insistence in splitting hairs on a quarter of an inch. And it’s the only thing different in the two days of pics I use here and here

And it bothered me enough that I took a second set of pictures just to have documented an extra .25” to start with this year. But the fact is, in the grand scheme it doesn’t matter. In the grand scheme of almost 9 years of PE, it doesn’t really matter.

Not only does it not matter but, I look at my current flaccid numbers. They are larger by far than my starting numbers nearly 9 years ago. I remember this with ease as my BASE girth 9 years ago was 4.9” or something. It was NOT 5” by any stretch. I thought 5” was absolutely huge back then. Now, my flaccid measurements, taken after 4 months of zero PE are still larger than I ever was when I started. I’ve documented greater flaccid length and girth than this (not by a ton but I’ve definitely gone as high as 7.2x5.7” flaccid for the record) and sometimes, I have to reflect on why I do PE still. Or what I’m looking for.

It is very simple. But…I affirm it by owning it here and inside of my mind. I know in my mind the numbers, they shift a bit from time to time but I know what they look like.

More.
Much, much more.

I look at the amount I just spent on my new endeavor that will start when all of the pieces get here. About $255. And I know it’ll only get to be more, it always ends up being more. I quote the old $10k figure from about 1 and a half years ago. Truth is it is closer to $12k now. I keep at it, like anyone with a hobby or past time and it is simply what it is. I set larger goals and move further forward just because it is what I want to do.

But I have to acknowledge the truth. I do not do this from a place of inadequacy. I do not do it from a place of ‘needing more’ or feeling like ‘not enough’. Not anymore. It has long since changed. Aesthetically, I’ve looked at the total correction of my curve as my ultimate goal. It started this and it will be key to the conclusion of my PE endeavors. My calculations indicate this will likely require significant increases now to length and girth and I’ve touched on this before and it simply is part of the process.

The straightening of my penis will likely require significant girth work focused on that side, which this current campaign looks to perform, and it may still require enough time that I gain another 1” in girth and whatever else in length that comes with it. So possibly 9.5x7” at the end. Possibly. At what time frame I have no conceptual clue.

I accept this. It is an ongoing, driving goal for me. Part of the grand goal that defines my very existence. I am continually doing some form of self-improvement. Changing careers, working on fitness and PE. Everything must be progress and everything must acknowledge the greatest truth I’ve yet found in life.

Everything you attempt in life must improve you and create more greatness within you, for it to be continually worth spending your limited time on. No matter what it is. If you have chosen to do it, never cheapen it no matter what it is. It becomes part of your life's work.
That is the truth.

Thank you Abdiel.

I tell guys who message me all the time. “There is no Holy Grail of PE. I did not decode the entire practice and put it in any fancy scrolls buried next to a sea in a remote place.” People send me messages all the time demanding to know all the routines I did, shortcuts that must exist because I've gained so much. Even if I had such a spotless log, it would be pages upon pages of haphazardness. I assure you no special secrets exist in my old methods, as none of the stuff from back then do I still do now. That is fact.

The only thing I do now that is a holdover from before is in this equation:

Time+Devotion x Safety+Consistency= Gains.

Those variables always bear out, in some way, if you try hard enough, long enough, safe enough, regularly enough. That is the only secret.

No damn magic here.

This message is to cover the test I wanted to run some months ago when I first started this idea in my mind to do PE4F pumping with a damn gauge in the system to monitor pressures.

Short answer: The gauge is accurate and will work for exactly what I intend it for, which is to monitor this one line’s pressures as they fluctuate.

Picture below explains how I was able to confirm the calibration of the gauge. Showcasing it here.

Basically, I used my hand Mityvac as the pump and control gauge. I managed to finangle the male tube end onto the red hose (despite the red hosing being a touch large) and placed that into a cylinder and used the handpump to pressurize the line. The pressure readings from both gauges followed at the same rates of speed to the same pressure points intended. I tested up to 10HG by placing the tube against my pectoral muscle and getting a seal.

Short story: When I use an industrial grade pump, I will have pressure readings in real time that are as accurate as any pumping I’ve done in the past.

The picture is a touch cut off but the cylinder in the picture is connected on the other side of the gauge that is connected via red silicone hosing. It was actually a touch difficult to pressurize but I managed after a few tries enough to believe that the gauges function identically.

Seeing as medical grade pump attachments like our tried and true male cylinder end are smaller than the 3/8” red hosing here, I am likely to replace the entire setup with 5/16” vinyl food grade hosing that should be snug enough on the male end and still loose enough to force onto the brass bits. Or I’ll just get a secondary 3/8” inner diameter hose for the brass side. I know I *have* to force the vinyl at least on one side of the gauge because that’s the only way I can use the standard cylinder attachment. I’ll get it done. I did foresee that it could be a size problem.

I also can swap all tubing to 3/8” Vinyl and for the male coupler I could apply a bit of heat to shrink that single connection to 1/4”. I’m springing for the Vacu-tech Chrome plated fittings so match or lighter levels of heat will not harm it like it would with a plastic connector.

I know 3/8”would fit the brass fittings on both sides of the gauge this way, that is the current spec of the red silicone hosing. That gauge is key and its connection is paramount. I can shrink a 5/16” hose even easier to the male cylinder coupler but I worry that the 5/16” hose would be too small to fit the 3/8” brass used on that gauge. Or that the barb on the 3/8” brass could cut through the smaller diameter hose since its out of spec.

I’m leaning 3/8” Vinyl with some shrinking. That’s a connection I feel more comfortable controlling.

This is not going to stop me. $20 in tubing isn’t going to stop me.

In my foray into this PE4F pumping idea, insisting on integrating a gauge was my condition to enter.

So far, I’ve been through 2 adapter fittings for this exact pump. Going to end up finding an exact fit after forcing the original off to find one with the proper barb that will thread directly into the pump. I have 2 sets of tubing coming and plan on using a heat shrink techniques or splicing tubing. My manual heat source stand may be short and at a funny angle. My heating pad is kinda wore out from use for it’s intended purpose. I had to order another tube, as my calculations were off since I’ve never used tubes from LeLuv before, and I had to order extra metal fittings from Vacu-Tech so that I can assure a strong seal and the fitting won’t melt when I shrink the tubing to it.

So my method will be high intensity, risky…and a bit fiddly. I’ll include directions and pictures to explain the setup before I officially start logging what I do but…it was a bit of a can of worms.

Props on figuring out how to pursue the pe4f method with a gauge, your ingenuity and attention to detail are inspiring.

A very poignant lesson for me was my failure to create a relatively simple “Tiger Trap” and I do not like how frustrated I got when I realized that my attempt had failed due to poor wood choice for the panels as well as poor structure screw choice and I had blown through my reserve screws holding the corner molding, my corner molding had run out and I didn’t have the ability to fabricate wood in the most optimum way to attempt a second set of panels. I wasted roughly $40 on the failed project after having a friend help me cut the corner molding and wood I had chosen. I don’t want that to happen to anyone reading about this contraption, as it’s a very significant investment compared to $40 and significantly more dangerous if not employed carefully, judiciously and properly.

I usually have a moderately strong understanding of mechanical devices, even ones I have no actual experience with. It is simple, how most of it goes together and how you can ‘make’ things go together in a safe and effective way. But, that said, it becomes a more complex method if you insist on incorporating a vacuum gauge. Additionally, the gauge you pick also is incredibly important because how it ties into your hosing as well as the hosing you can use may change. I had to find a particular gauge that is barbed on both ends that seems to have a pressure equalizer in it so that it both monitors pressure without changing the pressure in the line it is monitoring. Even so, I only figured out that it was working that way when I used my hand-pump with its built in vacuum pressure gauge and found the pressure correlation to be exact as I had hoped.

Then, to incorporate more robust and transparent hosing I had to get vinyl in two different diameters so I could experiment with which will work better. This red silicone tubing doesn’t seem robust and it does seem like one could easily damage it and this would make the device more fragile and finicky. I don’t want that and whoever else tries it won’t want that either.

So, I’m going to be very exact in what I list, where I got it, how I applied it and which exact pieces I’m using so that people who aren’t as mechanically inclined don’t have to do any additional adjustments if they *really* want to duplicate the system I’m going to attempt to use. Details, when people aren’t as adept, are key. I’ve tried a few PE methods that I don’t have the knowledge or facility to duplicate and failing at it is both painful to the ego and a waste of money (even if not necessarily expensive, unless you’re talking heavy equipment investment like this) that can be prevented.

I have been thinking on how to present the method and it’ll be a small series of beginning posts. Where I’ll be taking pictures of the assemblies and talking about how to put them together. The tubing and pump first with the heating pad, then the manual exercise heat source setup and finally the clamps with the axe handle. Pictures and directions. I know in the past I personally hated trying to piece together home-grown PE methods, because it would be with things I didn’t understand and put me in a place where I couldn’t duplicate it because I lacked insight into the types of devices or tools used. So, I try to fight that lack of knowledge when I explain what I’m doing.

Thank you for the compliment.