Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

I have read a bit of your journey, thoughtfulgold. Relationships, sex etc. Thanks for sharing.

Despite liking reading it and agreeing with it a lot, I suspect I’m already replicating it. I am entering on that initial stage that I think you qualified as a “dark period”. I’m aware of it, but it seems that I will have to go through it. Maybe unavoidable?

It’s a “dark period” because the fact is…you best learn from experience. You won’t see the light at the end of a journey at the beginning. We gotta make mistakes. It just has to be that way. And often, similar mistakes to other men.

I’m glad you appreciate my story.

At the size you are, you don’t need gains. That is a physical fact. Obsession and a nagging feeling of inadequacy that is based in no truth drives you if you forgo the use of the tool to hone it when it was made for enjoyment and procreation. PE is for enhancing sex. Never meant to curtail it.

Reading the cycle of basic, routine insecurities that some of the newer users have posted of late…I feel the need to document in my journal my beliefs that I’ve grown to hold onto. These can be gleaned from reading my posts, if you just go through my post history but…I suppose they should live here in my Progress Report for easy reference and posterity. I’ll post the questions, which I have seen posted many times before and then place my responses beneath them.

1. How big is too big?

This question is usually posed by someone who is new to Penis Enlargement and has a bit of the naive nature of the mind in its intent. It poses limitations when the mind has none, because PE is a foriegn concept to the person asking the question at this point in their journey. They have an understanding of it, of it working, but they wonder if it is such a good thing is there a limit? Is there a place agreed upon that people simply must stop? It is a theoretical question that has no working answer, especially if the person asking lacks sexual experience.

thoughtfulgold says:

If you have to have numbers, once you get past 8” BPEL and over 6” MSEG you have hit the majority of women’s that I’ve slept with, their comfortable limitations. You acknowledge that you are going to impose limits like less oral sex, denied anal sex, condom problems, lube requirements and sacrifice quickies for the most part if you continue to get bigger. As long as all of those things are okay with you, there is no limit…even if you lose the ability to have penetrative sex. Because, academically, that can happen if you continue to push for more size indefinitely. It has happened before, many times.

The takeaway? The real answer to ‘when is it too big?’ is when the time comes that you wish you were smaller.

2. I spoke about dicks with my partner, who admitted to having/enjoying/thinking that bigger dicks than the one I have are nice. My feelings are hurt. What now?

This question is an attention bid but a legitimate one. In the beginning of all of our journies (with select exception) there was some level of insecurity. Typically a crippling level. We have to attack this at the root to get to the bottom of how we fix it. Most of us, if we've had the dick discussion with a partner one time…we've had it multiple times. We bait the discussion. We fish for details to extrapolate actual size numbers because most women will just say “big, long, thick, huge” or compare it to an item that it likely cannot possibly have been similar in size to, which it may have felt like to her. As hyperbole is common in these discussions, which makes having them that much more damaging to more men more often than not. Rule of thumb, is that talking to a woman about dick size has almost no good points. It highlights insecurity for her to note for later and possibly exploit, it weakens you in her eyes, it also casts doubt in your mind about her sexual history no matter what she says. As the most common part of this equation is, whether she returns a ton of compliments or tells you about the one time she straight up got railed by a man-stallion hybrid, most men will take away the worst possible scenario and come away absolutely devastated. If not the first time you talk about it, then it will happen next time when you bait the conversation looking for another ego stroke and more dopamine drips that you subconsciously hope come with it.

thoughtfulgold says:

If you have a choice, don’t bring this topic up. Take what she says at face value. If your penis size is relevant, she will likely tell you. Especially if you’re the largest. And then, don’t beat the topic into the ground or bring it up regularly. It makes you look insecure and immature, no matter what your size. Because, the more you bring it up, the more you risk placing your ego and the well-being of your ego and self-esteem on her opinion of your penis. Which is the worst possible scenario.

The takeaway? It does not matter what she says. Only what you think. And those two are completely unrelated, in a healthy man’s mind.

3. What is the perfect size for a woman?/What do women want in a penis?

This question is part of a self-fulfilling prophecy cycle where the person asking the question is usually looking for answers that validate a desire to change his penis. Whether it be longer, thicker, straighter/more curved/curved a particular way or just to inflame insecurities that rest deep inside to validate a feeling of unattractiveness or powerlessness. As no matter what answers he gets, he only takes into account the answers that do not match the description of his penis. He then will vehemently defend his opinion, when his own penis is actually called as optimum for a woman in any way. This usually devolves into the user warding away any positive attention or reinforcement. It usually ends with his opinion the exact same as it started, only with more doubts.

thoughtfulgold says

The perfect penis for a woman size wise is no larger than 7.5” Bone Pressed Erect Length and 5.5” Mid Shaft Erect Girth. Additionally, that is a mere approximation as the perfect penis for a woman is hard and lasts long enough for her to enjoy until she orgasms. Hardness matters more than additional size, every time. Shorter refractory periods, where you can have sex again in a very short period of time after your orgasm is prized much more than a large size. The perfect penis can give her all of the sex she desires and comes with a man creative enough to use it to its fullest potential.

The takeaway? The perfect penis is attached to a lover that is willing to go the extra mile to please his lover, in whatever way that tickles that woman’s fancy. Which typically has nothing to do with size in itself.

These are conclusions I’ve come to after years of PE and relationships. Things that it took me a long time to actually grasp and use as intended. Also, things I’ve said, in some form or another, fragmented or not, countless times in the thousands of posts I have here on Thunder’s Place. This is merely the most fleshed out versions of these questions and answers that I personally decided to notate for posterity and reference sake for any reader of my posts on this website.

Great insight as always TG. Hopefully many of the new members stumble upon this. Well done.

I am just staggered by how many guys here think women have rulers etched on their eyeballs and are constantly measuring them. I mean that’s the only reason I could imagine for this level of measurement obsession in front of women because, quite frankly, even the women who supported my PE…not a single one gave a damn how big my dick was.

I’m new to PE, but I’m not new to sex. Maybe this should actually be the primary concern of everyone here.

Men are concerned with the size of their penises, primarily as a monolithic demographic whole. Function is typically second. If you read progress reports you’ll notice few notations of becoming a better lover. Or any concern with such. Perhaps they are all perfect sex machines. Or perhaps they fuck selfishly and wonder why a bigger penis doesn’t make them better at sex.

Academically, the answer is obvious to me. But it’s a personal choice, by each man. No need for me to remind them of it.

A very sad truth of PE, since it is a characteristically solitary activity, that is when we are alone we sometimes do it automatically. That we associate solitude with PE. And for single men, this can lead to excessive workouts, reduced rest days and more consistently unnecessary measuring.

The real pain in this solitude=PE equation is that sometimes, in the solitude we experience loneliness. A thing that we cannot actually control. It is a plague for single men looking to fill their time and because PE is meaningful and an investment in the future we don’t have guilt with doing it to excess.

I personally don’t do PE to excess anymore but when I’m alone and single and bored…I think about it. I think about it a good deal. But, I don’t entertain it unless it is on my schedule with my gear that I plan on using. A strict schedule isn’t needed to be successful at PE but not overdoing it and forgetting what your original plans and goals were is a great way to stay on track.

When in doubt, try to meditate or clean something. Something that will fill time and give you the chance to clear your head while you’re doing it. PE compulsion is a hard thing to battle and it needs to be confronted for some of us. I know of it and I fight it but I don’t give in to it. Not anymore.

I cant believe that I crave PE these days. It used to be a thing that I would push myself to do. Now I am pulled not only by the idea of gains, but by the act of PE itself. I’m currently in stealth mode and this makes it tough sometimes to stick to my schedule. For some guys it might be to whip out there dicks and Jack off to porn when there woman isn’t around. For me it’s … She’s going out for an hour…? …whooopeee time to PE!!!

Balance and moderation is good. What I spoke on was a compulsion that cannot be controlled and is triggered by alone time. Motivation is exactly what is needed to reach goals. Stay motivated, just don’t lose yourself in that idea.

Looking at trying PE4F pumping I think I need to also and gear the routine around doing that towards the end of the workout. So, my primary exercise will be the one that I have found most effective that doesn’t require me to construct more equipment. Which was multiple clamps applied during erect bends. However, I was cleaning out my equipment area and ran across my IR lamp so I really want to use it during my workout, as it is optimal to use for heat and other radiation benefits during the manual portion. So this means a mild investment in perhaps a more adjustable clamp lamp and a microphone stand as this is the most common way to make good use out of a good IR bulb. Also more comfortable goggles than tanning goggles, as those suck ass. And then it occurs to me that the use of a Power Assist will intensify my Erect Bend. Access to a Lengthmaster will make this doable. So the perspective routine is as follows:

Activate and adjust IR lamp
20 minutes edging warmup
5 minutes lightweight stretching
5 minutes clamping (2-5 clamps) with Erect Bends while clamped using Power Assist
5 minutes PE4F pumping with 2” tube and heating pad for MSEG girth change on left CC (I have discussed at length my theory on using this tube size over a larger diameter and will touch on it again in a later entry as to the validity of my theory.)
10 minute warmdown edging

Routine clamp time and pumping time increased by 1 minute each session until I-phase reaches completion.

This should optimize my workout time and focus the trauma on a singular area on the left side middle to upper portion of the shaft. Causing both curve correction and mseg girth gain. There is also the perspective of doubling the clamp time while not doing Erect Bends for the first half. I will see how I feel when implementing this routine to gauge whether that is excessive or just right.

Can you post a pic of the lamp. Or a model #. I’m curious to see the style of lamp you guys use.Is that better than a heating pad?

I have the lamp linked somewhere in here, and the bulb used. Honestly, the lamp I have is shit. I can’t hang it on anything and so I don’t use it. I’m looking at finding a more compatible lamp to use with a microphone stand. It’s mentioned in my routine lists as well somewhere.

Not better. Different. Pumping, with a heating pad can’t be beat. Thickness of a tube would make the heat from a lamp pretty crap. But for manual exercises, it shines as a heating pad is cumbersome if you used it and did manuals simultaneously.

First things first, can’t find my seamstress tape. Must have hidden it too well. Haven’t seen it in 2 months.

Secondly, yesterday got some odd measurements.

BPEL of 9-9.25” (23-23.5cm)
This was my erection. Longer than my usual of 8.85”
The high marks were from the last measurement where I reached the PONR.

MSEG of 6.1” or 15.5cm
Thinner than my usual of 15.9cm or 6.26” and PONR was triggered by pressing ruler to pubic bone so…no PONR measurement for MSEG.

Writing it off as fluctuation for now. Just logging that the Penis likes to change regularly and unpredictably. I’ve been on decon quite a while now.