Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

Your comments don’t make sense.

You’ve always talked about how you hate your girth and don’t feel thick, now women are actively telling you the girth is too much and your feelings are hurt. Isn’t that what you were looking for? A reaction that literally said you were bigger than expected? I remember telling you that the size you were was already pretty big and that bigger was going to net you issues. So…not sure what else to tell you.

I go on random breaks all the time. Many of mine aren’t planned, if you’ve read through my log I do them constantly. I’m on one now.

I have linked you 3 separate times on my glans increase methods. And I’m not sure you want the glans to get bigger now. If you’re having girth complaints now, they will undoubtedly get worse if you make the glans bigger.

I’m not sure why you’re sad. I’m confused. You seemed to want to be bigger, like you wanted to be bigger more than anything in the world. Now, you’re bigger and women can tell…and you’re unhappy? What exactly are you gettin’ at here?

I’m a lost soul. I will admit it. You see, these were 2 women I really liked. They were sexy, the personality and everything. And most importantly, they were normal. I put in time and effort to get them naked only to be shunned. The head went in pretty easy btw. It’s only about 4.5-5 in girth. I read your glans thread, the tactics used seem to add to overall girth. I will re-read.

I will try to decondition my mind as well over the next deconditioning period.

You just said “the head went in pretty easy btw” as though that’s a bad thing. You just said your girth is too much, but you want more glans girth? Consider what you’re saying. Reread my methods, read others…decide for yourself. But it seems like you literally got too big for women you wanted to keep, because you think you’re small. A larger glans is not going to help that matter, at all. It will make it worse.

Ain’t a mental deconditioning to do. You have to totally rethink how you look at sex, your penis, and PE. Because, if you keep getting bigger, this will only get worse with future partners.

In this entry Status update: Girth trending upwards and plans I speak on my MSEG girth without using the OK grip. Since then, I’ve gotten reads of 15.8 and 15.9cm more often than any other measurement. Not as high as 16cm but still…indicating some significant girth growth perhaps. I top out at 6.37” or 16.2cm (sometimes 16.3cm but not counting that) still. So…just making notes. Still on decon.

Still deciding whether I’m going to invest in PE for my fall quarter or invest in finishing my other projects.

Out of curiosity, what would your thoughts be on becoming so girthy that penetration isn’t possible? Just as a thought experiment. Is there a mental goal in your head or is it just open ended? (I realize mental goals and the reality of satisfaction once achieved are two different things.)

I’m not 100% sure how to feel as to the answer to this question. There’s a mental aspect of satisfaction of reaching what is ‘unobtainable’ via cultural standards and being the gold standard for a ‘monster cock’ but…there’s a practicality aspect to it as well. However, Titleist and my own experiences has led to me believing that most women are willing to try, even if it is difficult. So I’m not terribly worried as far as ‘too girthy to penetrate’ goes. With the exception of my bestie, who has opened the door to sex with me if I visit, who I know has issues handling large penises.

The goal…I’m unsure. I benchmark it at around 7” MSEG maximum but setting a solid goal on PE is like walking up to a craps table and setting an exact pot you want to walk away with.

I see. I guess because of how far away I am from the problem of being too big it sort of doesn’t even fly on my radar. The guy you responded to above who was having issues made me think of it. I literally can’t imagine having 6.5 inch girth, or struggling to get in. Of course vaginas are as varied as penis’ too so that’s a factor too.

Do not think of it as something you cannot attain. I couldn’t imagine being where I am now when I first started PE. I didn’t even think my dick would ever get bigger. The fact is that it did and my sexual realities changed because I truly desired being that much larger than I was.

Do not be ashamed if you have huge goals inside your mind, within your heart. Patience and development of the skill will not fail you. It will merely take time.

Vaginas do vary. I say frequently that one of my partners tore 80% of the time we had sex and was far too tight for me. She rabidly supported my PE during the relationship and even though it made sex very difficult she loved every minute of every session. Vaginas vary, women vary and validation is not to be found in either.

Truth be told I’m more worried of injury than anything else. Just my nature to be paranoid a bit but I’m honestly, generally, an optimist. I took a decon but did a short hand clamp session today. It seems if I move my hand up or engorge the head too much I get a stinging pain in the head. Obviously I stopped immediately.

I just say that to say I worry about injury and have to think of risk vs reward. Obviously a bigger (thicker) penis is my goal and my thin girth causes mental distress. However I can get it up and would not know what to do if I broke my dick. I guess I’m struggling to figure out these sensations while still striving towards the goal. I just wonder if true girth gains dip into more risky territory.

You’ve put in a lot of work and has put stress on your unit. Bearded dragon also strikes me as one who doesn’t think PE will typically permanently damage the penis. I know y’all are eyeing the full pressure pumping for short bursts. When I read that I was like “wow, these guys are brave.” Y’all have been at it for awhile though.

I’ll keep at it, slowly I guess. Hopefully I’ll remain mostly injury free.

The principles of working out at a gym apply perfectly here. You don’t go to a gym fretting that you’re going to blow out your shoulder. But if you hop on a machine and set the resistance too high, after a couple reps you get confident and overdo it then you’re looking at an orthapedic specialist because you’ve damaged something seriously and need a cast, sling or surgery.

If you do PE fretting about injuries and thinking you can’t moderate yourself, you won’t concentrate on the task at hand or the goal that brought the task to relevance.

I have put in a lot of work and stress on my unit. I’m also under no illusions of what my unit can endure and much like a gym, where you’re sore afterwards and have to take days off from time to time…I’ve injured myself enough to take a break both short term and longer term.

You have to reconcile the risk with the reward. Do not do a thing you do not want to do because you want the reward, or you’ll just obsess about the risks instead of enjoy the experience.

I have stopped looking at any goal as unattainable. I merely see them as a time investment for a return. PE being a past-time and almost a profession, I look at new forays and goals as a hobby to play with.

Then, talking to my favorite lady friend and partner…she brings up a valid point that she showed me through all of our sessions together.

Girth is king.

I really wasn’t a girth believer. I love length. I love working on length. I love how a super long cock looks. But…working length and girth, at my level of experience, is nigh impossible so I have to double down on one and she brings the point that during her sessions it was the friction that made her cum. More explosively than ever, each time she could feel me thicker inside of her. Even though she has significant trouble, to the point of us laying down a towel habitually, the friction sends her flying every time and it takes less and less time for her to orgasm.

Currently, mid girth is 6.1” or so. Which is at the mole, without an OK grip when 100% hard. The last time we had sex was at least 5 months ago and she’s starting to desire me again and it is always so odd that she is so enthusiastic when we are such a dimensionally bad match-up. She has deep feelings for me, though. I’m sure this is the largest reason by far, as otherwise I’m sure she wouldn’t be so eager to see me again.

However, it’s a fact that she has a thimble pussy by any stretch and that is simply a bad break for a lady having an ongoing affair with a man who does PE. And…I looked at the other facts, especially with my pumping project coming up and my higher EQ…girth work helps my EQ and girth geometrically generates more cubic volume. Take any penis and add 1” of length. Then go back and add 1” of girth. The girthy penis almost always (in most reasonably similar to human cylinder cases) comes out with a greater volume measured in cubic inches. And…lately, girth has been coming right along for me. Length, really hasn’t. Length work also usually screws with my EQ for a while afterwards and that makes it unattractive to me at this point.

I’ve decided girth may be my goal for the foreseeable future. Especially if I can perhaps equalize my base girth upwards. As my base girth of 7.55-7.67” is rather large but makes for a very large increase that makes deep thrusting problematic more so than it needs to be when fucking fat girls. So if my cock were a more uniform girth like 7” I would have fewer issues with uneven girth (though likely a boatload at that size for penetrating at all, but this is a risk I acknowledge and am willing to take)

Now, given my midshaft girth is so vastly different due to the left CC being less developed than the right due to a skin tag generated curve that was almost congenital…this is likely going to be very difficult. This fact is a large portion of why I’ve decided to give high pressure pumping a fair shake. If it can provoke any greater expansion on my left CC I have hope of equalizing my mid girth and removing my curve. And honestly, regardless of how large my MSEG gets, I’ll be happy. I know I can find partners, I have at least 2 women who are unlikely to turn me away and another who would like the sheer challenge since she’s in the toy business and knows what numbers and extreme insertions are like from experience. So I have bets hedged for when my size reaches a point where partner selection drops significantly.

Part of me has the whole “New numbers, new goal” eagerness. But…I want to see what PE4F pumping holds and understand it better. If it answers my plea and finally gives me legitimate hope of totally removing my curvature…I’ll just have another tool to add to the arsenal of experience I’ve accumulated.

So far I’ve got the extra hosing needed, a secondary gauge on the way to test and narrowed down a secondary tube to order to test my most important part of the theory. In case the custom tube falls through, I have a factory size tube I think will be nearly as good and cheaper for me to test my theory with.

It is a life goal to pack a 2.5” round tube. And perhaps with this style of pumping I shall, in time. But, these are just musings right now. There’s a lot of work to make something like this even close to a reality and I will remember these posts and see where I am a year from now towards this goal.

Sounds like a plan my friend. I agree completely about girth being King. Poor little thimble pussy. Lol.

She takes it as best she can and loves having been a part of the journey. She’s a trooper if nothing else. *chuckles*

I love reading your posts TG. At what point do you think partners would start dropping off?

Honestly not sure. I spoke with my other bestie about that exact fear the same day or a following day and she basically said this:

“Of course if you keep getting bigger some women will say no on the spot. But remember, stores sell toys your size and way bigger. And women do buy and use them. So sex won't drop off for you till you stop looking for it.”

I imagine around 6.5” I’ll start getting declines for a return visit. And around 7” I’ll get spot rejections. But I doubt it’ll matter, much like she suggests.