Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

If you had been poetic about it like you are in your posts here she’d had prolly offered benis succ

You have no idea what you are talking about. Please, stop.

It’s because you said irl you aren’t the same. But that friend could be that girlfriend, your job could be your own business. The world is yours for the taking. The waffen believed they were masterrace and they’re notoriously formidable, think about it. You said it yourself ‘have faith and things will manifest accordingly’. How do you become a great liar? Start believing your own lies. That precious mind you don’t know it’s value. If only you had faith the size of a mustard seed, God would take that step with you

Firstly, that sucks. It’s hard enough to let people in.

Without knowing the specifics, which sound decades long, I’m just gonna say that I hope y’all can at least address any elephants in the room in the hopes of at least renewed comfort between you. If you feel you made this person uncomfortable at an inopportune time, maybe apologize for the timing and explain you meant no disrespect by it. Being straight forward about it, to simply address whatever error in communication or boundaries you felt was made, it may be as simple as that.

Then again if there’s a whole Pandora’s box there with history…etc and you feel deep down it’s a door best left closed then I wish you peace in knowing we are all imperfect but learning, as best I can tell.

Just don’t beat yourself up.

That too lil help sometimes life happens and you just gotta say thug life and move on to the next thing

You never know, see how it goes.

I have plenty of faith in the power of my mind. I manifest the things I desire daily. The nature of this undesired outcome has nothing to do with those things. Once again, you are way off base. Just stop.

I’m not beating myself up. I know exactly why it happened. Elephant in the room being ‘any topic of depth’ and this one being personal enough for her to feel ‘unsafe’ or what have you is on her. I brought it up knowing she had limits, it went south. It’s just that the entire value of the story is reduced to the most poignant phrases when the story itself is important to my own growth as an individual and spanned 8 years.

The nature of communication now cheapens these things, shortens them to condensed and worthless little strips of story and it is absolutely ridiculous.

Correct. But she’s predictable. Her level of anxiety, medicated highly, combined with her own modest nature…and a need for a certain level of mystique about me to keep talking to me…I got a good idea where it’s going. And where it can go. Both are nowhere, because we share no commonalities anymore. We were kids on the budding internet. Now we are adults on an apparatus that invades every aspect of life. The relationship foundation has been undone and really, only nostalgia holds us together.

Seeing how she’s reacted, I’m not even interested in talking to her anymore. I’m more angry at the fact that the medium of instantly sending a message across the internet makes any story less epic. Less important. Reduces years to sentences of text that can be skimmed, nodded and that’s it when a story of someone in the last eight years takes hours of personal chatter and comfort, complete with a meal, body language and a newfound understanding of the person.

I am not upset about the loss of the person. I’m incensed at the nature of the communication that was most to blame for this loss.

“I am not upset about the loss of the person. I’m incensed at the nature of the communication that was most to blame for this loss.”

I feel much the same. So much, too much is 3mm deep and with a constant validation of nonsense, it really undercuts any potential for depth. The idea that you could be encapsulated so readily, strikes me as preposterous. What are you going to do? The only thing I was pointing out is that women can be tremendously accommodating, but you do have to navigate those waters. You already know that I was just pointing it out.

She listed some vague hard limits early on in our chatter. I told her most of my life falls under her hard limits. And whenever I hit a nerve, she just stops talking. Which is frequently if she’s not just dumpin her life on me. She has no real desire to learn about me or what I’ve been through.

So, it’s clear she’s not accommodating. Her anxiety and other aspects preclude this

Yeah there’s a lot lost in text for sure. I mean, I’ve often thought words fall short since we all have our own definitions built off years of experience. I say love, and that conjures up a vastly different mental representation to each individual I speak with. I can assume they’re using my definition, I can guess at theirs, most of the time we speak and assume our intent is being received crystal clear as it leaves oyr mouths. Communication is imperfect, text being especially so in short form.

Anyways, whatever happened obviously affected you enough to post about it, even if it’s just as a mile marker for yourself. I’m not going to be rude and speculate or attribute anything since I’ve got no clue. The reason I said don’t beat yourself up was because your initial post came across as if you were negatively affected (but that could just be the limitations of text based communication shining through!)

It’s interesting. I might have been speaking more to your ability to encourage the accommodation, to influence. I suspect though that you’re looking for a higher level of purity in the dynamic. Knowing what you’re looking for is important. Knowing how you want to be is too.

You know though, I never imagined finding this level of intellectual discourse on a penis forum LOL. I guess I would at least give her that. As for the rest of it well, I’m sure you’re on it.

DeboraMelchoto

This is a triple warning: the first, the last and the only one.

You just insulted a TP member who has opened his soul and admitted his vulnerability. You are making crazy analogies to a racist bunch of fascists. You treat a person as liar without reason.

This does not only violate the forum guidelines. This is impolite, typical troll behaviour and seeds hate. We will not tolerate such behaviour here at TP.

Change your behaviour immediately or you'll be banned - for a rather long time.

Richard65