Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

What’s wrong with monogamy? You might not get to experience new women, but the sex is real —- emotional connection brings a whole new dimension, more intimate, etc. Not to mention, you have someone to share life with.

I have ample experience with monogamy. I can say, in short, there are reasons it doesn’t appeal to me. And I do not say that lightly. This is my subjective view. No one else’s.

Can we at least acknowledge that her wanting you in a monogamous relationship is complementary? Her position not withstanding she still wants to be with you. She just doesn’t like the terms or at least she can’t admit to being ok with them. I wonder if the type of woman, the package if you will, that has appeal, will ever be ok with admitting to it, let alone being okay with it.

I do think some people aren’t particularly well suited for monogamy, maybe even for just a time or not. I do think you’re doing the right thing of addressing it when the issue presents. There was a time, when I wouldn’t even start without that being on the table. It wound up not making a difference though.

The key here is that you’ve been honest with her about your intentions. No hidden agenda. She’ll either accept the relationship on your terms or at some point, simply move on. Until then enjoy the ride.

Her desire to fill a hole in her life with me isn’t flattery. And her desire to do so against my express wishes is insulting. If she said she will deal with how I am for the time being that would include not dropping hints to otherwise at all.

There are women that are. This one is not.

Waiting is only uglier and more complex. I lack the energy for that again.

You made a choice. That is why your initial stance did not matter. I do not make that choice, especially under any kind of coercion.

Looking at the progress and secondary equipment investment in my hanging endeavor leads me to believe I’ll have to accept that I will PE for life or actually hit 11” at some point.

Neither of these concepts are a bad thing.

The feedback you get from partners is literally 85% of why PE even matters to most of us. There are us that ONLY want it for ourselves but most of us desire it for ourselves so that we can be a sexual person of note and respect. To be memorable and irreplaceable. In these aspects, you cannot deny the role of your partner as both a gauge of your success or even as the origin of your PE journey’s purpose.

That is the problem with PE, as a singular practice and concept. Without cultural norms and the views of other people you would feel nothing special about the size of your penis. It literally only matters because we as a group culturally make it matter and that social contract we sign…pretty much is enacted upon us by our partners most frequently. We are literally dying to impress any sexual partner. It’s why we debate the sources of female orgasm, optimum sizes and erogenous zones…we want our penis to be THE penis that is the be-all, end-all for ‘her’ pleasure.

But…what if it is? What if you ascend to be her greatest sexual partner, beyond expectations and memories? What if you get bigger and the next week she literally has trouble throating you (and loves it all the more) and feels so much tighter vaginally that sex is entirely different?
What happens when you check all of the boxes?

The issue with PE is that, even though checking all of the boxes means we could stop…is that we don’t. That validation I just explained in the last paragraph? That becomes your addiction. You need your next fix. Your quest to be accepted and become that sex god…you have a taste of it when she is newly amazed and you can’t go without it. It…has to happen. Again and again.

Success at PE comes at a price. Obsession. I speak on it many times in this log, the various manifestations of the obsession that drove me to where I am today. Which drove me to a size that is considered comical by some here on the forum and excessive or unneeded by most. But you need obsession to keep you disciplined. It doesn’t matter what your discipline is, your obsession with excelling is how you accomplish more. PE is no different but why you do it is more extrinsic than intrinsic, more often than not. The quest for personal growth and fulfillment that PE can be is often and at least sometimes overshadowed by the short-term joys it can bring to validate the insecurities that drove you to do it to begin with.

Extrinsic validation is dangerous. It places you at the mercy of the person giving it. It makes you do things you wouldn’t just for approval. And it weakens your resolve to do things just for yourself. It is a dangerous game to play. I imagine myself good at it but the hazards still exist. Those hazards also add flavor to everything, overcoming them adds a layer of accomplishment because while I do appreciate the validation and am gambling with a potentially toxic partner…the back of my mind is also just as happy to continue fucking with her because one small fact I’ve observed through nearly 10 years of PE and observing other guys as well as my own results….

Men in positive sexual relationships seem to gain faster and more than men who are categorically loners or change partners frequently. When I’m in a more rolling stone phase, my gains slow. When I have sex with a partner who enjoys having sex with me and supports PE I see growth spurts pretty regularly. And that information influences my decisions in a relationship on some level. I will admit it because I know my thumbscrews and mastering them gives me power over them. But…

It is still a thumb screw. It is still something that, if she wanted to and tried hard enough, would be leverage over me at least in some way. And the bad thing about PE…is that by nature you hand leverage to your partner just because you’re craving the validation of your hours of private time paying off. You aren’t just doing it for the reflection in the mirror. Even if that’s the bigger reason, you want those you’re with to be impressed and…that is no crime. It is a natural desire.

But that’s the bad thing about PE. You need the validation for it to matter, at least on some level. That…can tear you apart if you aren’t careful.

That could be true for anything in life.

That is a great thing, you probably seen too much of that jernej anze slavic guy measured at 11” bpel.:) ), I am going for that as well, it will probably take some years to even reach 10” but I like PE as an activity itself…

Indeed, it can be. But my observations over the years of many PE practitioners puts us at a disproportionately high risk of extrinsic validation causing toxic side effects to our mental states. There are countless threads here to that exact end and users terrorized by the ghosts of horse hung exes that they will never compare to because the concept has outgrown any reasonable comparison to reality.

Seeing him had nothing to do with it, honestly. Just my own affairs with the ruler and my own increasing happiness with myself. I mean I don’t keep a partner long enough for it to be truly for anyone. I just like the looks of amazement when I have one and the boost to my gains when I’m having regular good sex. Though part of me wishes I hadn’t posted his pictures link here. The guy is absolutely huge but…it did more harm than good to the readership here I feel. It was probably a poor choice for me to call attention to him.

F that, he is just another person with a huge penis, don’t worry about it, readers watch porn anyway I am sure, Mandingo was probably seen by most of thundersplace members, etc…and imo he is also a legit 11” bpel….Yours is huge too, not big, huge, but 11” could come your way as well, no doubt! IMO everything over 9” length and 6”girth is literally “unreal” for women to witness/take in….but doable nonetheless, and it is a reality which should be known, right?

He is 9.5 Non Bone Pressed with a slim fat pad. 10” BPEL, I linked the perspective pics on a porn star thread with over 60 pages somewhere. But Barbie doesn’t lie.

It will. I won’t stop until it does. Simple as that.

My current partner, who is 6’ 1” and quite large cannot take me balls deep. She tries and gets close but it is so punishing to her cervix it causes bleeding later. She gets off on being pounded (which is a first for any of my partners given my size) and still cannot do it. And what I felt were minor gains this week totally disrupted her ability to handle me orally and vaginally.

And she takes me the furthest and best out of probably 20 women. So I would retire the idea of “9 inches length and 6 inches girth is bearable for any girl” cuz I’ve had to make special accommodations every time but this one.

I am around 9” bpel right now and I was noticing trouble with prostitutes balls deep before PE with 8” bpel, but my guess is if I were to have sex for more time with them (money….) they will eventually accomodate me fully even at 9” bpel, I’ve read on Titleist’s thread that the cervix tends to move along during sex, especially after orgasm, google approves it.

It does move but it doesn’t relocate to a new zip code for a bus-sized cock to drive through lol. This is AFTER her or any of my partners actual real world adjustment. There is a finite amount of accommodation to be had and at 9” it just starts to disappear. Even with regular sex.

Maybe it’ll be different for you. But it ain’t happened for me yet that there are magic pussies with no end to them.

I know you probably responded to this several times, but is BPEL usable in sex?

For me, sure. Pubic pad compresses just fine. But I still usually have cock exposed when I hit bottom. So that’s a moot point that I can’t answer with confidence.