delaying ejaculation

Howdy,

Your meant to develop your PC up to be able to last longer right?

Well ive been doing kegels since before I did PE, because I had (or have, rather) a fear of public urinals, esp in school where we would go out to clubs in groups of 20-30 and at least one person you know is in there. A lot of people take a quick look, its quite scary. But anyway doing a few kegels for a while helped to pump up a little bit before.
But whatever, my point is I have a strong PC muscle. Also, I have started seeing a girl who (shock horror) actually seems interested in having sex with me. So maybe soon I might be losing my virginity, and of course it would be nice if I didnt come in 20 seconds.
So what do you do to last longer? Its interesting, ive always read “work on your PC, young padowan, last longer you will” but ive never looked into what you’re actually supposed to do when having sex to last longer. I assumed that your meant to kegel when your about to come, but I tried this one lonely night and although I did stop from ejaculating I still had an orgasm and still lost my erection.
Which is pointless I might as well come.
So tell me all the tricks of the trade, so that just maybe one persons first time wont be a disaster.

Thanks
SS4

a vagina It is so different a feeling from masturbation, so cut yourself some slack. You’ll probably blow a nut pretty quick your first time. I did. However, you have youth on your side. Just keep humping away :)

One of the first times I was with a girl, I came within a minute or so. However, I was so turned on by her and enjoying the moment, that I stayed hard and just kept at it. I didn’t really make a big production of the first orgasm, so I don’t think she noticed, but I lasted much longer afterwards…

RB’s right. Vagina’s are more intense than masturbation.

I have a few suggestions:

If you are pretty sure you are going to be having real sex or it’s a pretty sure thing, jerk off a couple of hours prior. This will cause your subsequent ejaculation to take longer; give you a little more control.

Spend a lot of time on foreplay with her first time. Although this may cause you to have a quicker trigger, she will enjoy the process and look forward to the next time, having been turned on to a good degree herself.

Using a condom will slow you down some. And you two ought to do that, anyway.

Gee, the stuff that’s put out for help. To help stop PE, you have to work on desensitizing the frenulum (area below the Glans). Dan Junot, LPC ( center for sexual success) has a good manual on the topic. Library of Congress # 95-92567. Good luck and you are not alone, and it can be controlled. What’s the point of having a big dick if it’s out of control. Now I can “go” when I want. As somebody made note elsewhere on this site, a woman’s sexuality is dependent on many factors. The wife sometime will climax in a matter of a couple-5 minutes of thrusting after only a brief period of foreplay (still a little dry, but is asking for the “stiffy”), or it can take nearly an hour of kissing, stroking (foreplay), and a lot of thrusting afterwards. I can go the distance by knowing where I’m at on the “excite” scale. I don’t have to finish her off with my hands anymore during a marathon session.

See!!!!

There you all go again!

I want to know what the point of working your PC is and what you do with it when you want to last longer! Is this some kind of secret society?

Surely someone knows….

Help…
SS4

SS4;

If you are trying to just last longer using your PC, that is one whole subject. If you are trying to be multi-orgasmic AND last a long time, that is another.

Yes. It is a very secret and secretive society but anybody can join - if they’re willing to jerk off about 900 times in the process of learning to do it. It ain’t easy, but when you finally master it, it is fun.

it’s counter-intuitive

practicing “holding in” actually makes you cum sooner.

it’s the “pushing out “exercises that make you last longer.

practice,practice,practice.

stroke yourself until you can last at least a half hour.push out as you feel the build.slow down and stop if you have to. the aim to to reliable last 1/2 hour. in time, you’ll see that you are actually relaxing a set of muscles. once you sense this, you can control things almost to the point of cuming at will.

i leaned of this in a book called something like “the multi-orgasmic couple”

SS4 stop the whinning.

Anything worth having takes work. You’ve been pointed in the right direction. If you don’t believe it, do a search on the internet or go see a urologist.

Lastly, PCs are primarily meant for erectile issues / maintaining good blood supply to your dick, a requirement for “growing” a bigger cock- xlhorsman who has gone from 6.25” x 5.5” to 7.25” x 6” and who has learned to “stay in the saddle” as long as it takes.

Im not whining, im just most surprised that Ive never seen the answer to the question, and when I ask it straight out I get a bunch of replies, and only one by bbc has given me an answer to my specific question.

I have searched the web, and all I get is “by doing kegels you can last longer in bed” or some variation of that and not exactly what your supposed to do. And why would I waste a the valuble time of a urologist when so many people have this skill on the board and would hopefully be willing to share some information?

So, xlhorsman, he who can stay in the saddle as long as he wants, could you possibly tell me what you do to this end please? Do you push out when you feel like your going to come like bbc says? Or does it just come naturally to you cos ive heard that many lucky men are naturally gifted in this regard?

Thanks
SS4

So what do you do to last longer? was the question-

PC/Kegel stuff helps me somewhat, but the thing that works best for me is breathing-

When most guys are approching the finish line, they virtually stop breathing. For me, this seems to speed up the approach of orgasm.

Paying attention to my breath from start to finish, making sure I control it and take long controlled deep breaths works wonders. I also will contract just about everything I have if I’m about to go critical.

Luvadus wrote some posts about a technique he came across called “edging”. I dont remember much about it. Might be worth bouncing this off him.

Hope that helps.

edging is basically masturbating to just short of the point of no return, then either stop stimulation till the urge to ejac subsides or if experienced continue stimulation but with a change in focus.

I can continue stim with only a slight pause, I change focus by switching hands. Over time you are training yourself to recieve lots of stimulation without ejac untill you decide to let it go.

SS4-

I was a little short with you the other day and apologize for that. They’ve written books on this subject and at the time I wrote I was impatient to leave Thunder’s and could not compose the short answer that might get you started.

The technique of using kegels to become multi-orgasmic usually results also in prolonging intercourse. The process is difficult to master but once you get the hang of it you will enjoy the benefits both in orgasms and in your own possibilities for duration before you finally ejaculate.

The method requires a strong and healthy PC muscle; this is easy to build up over time by simply practicing kegels persistently – short sets in the beginning, then gradually, over months, increasing both the number of kegels you do a day and the amount of time you are able to hold a series of very long kegels while clamping down.

We’re all different, but if it takes you, say, 20 seconds normally to ejaculate (from the very first sensation of inevitability to the last pulse of your prostate), you’ll need to be able to sustain the “clamped” kegel a few seconds longer than 20 seconds and have a PC muscle strong enough to repeat an extended clamp a short while later when you feel yourself nearing orgasm the second time, then yet again if you still want to keep going.

The object of the exercise is to sort of “short circuit” your ejaculatory response such that you cause a dry orgasm instead of the usual wet one. You should have no loss in the firmness of your erection following a dry orgasm and no change in the degree of your horniness – no libido loss, as happens following a wet orgasm.

Imo, the only way to learn this is through repeated masturbation. You will probably have many, many “failures” resulting in normal or partial ejaculations before you manage orgasms that feel much like regular ones but during which you expel no fluid at all.

I’ve talked with RB a number of times about this technique. He says he’s nearly there after months of working on it. I hope he will chime in and offer what he has learned.

The trick, I think, is to learn exactly when, to the split microsecond, you must clamp down on the PC muscle. You need very intimate knowledge of your own ejaculatory response. The time to clamp down is BEFORE any ejaculate begins to move on its way out. Once fluids are on the move, it’s too late to stop the process. Ideally, you will be able to clamp and hold, enjoy the orgasm, lose no erection quality or libido edge, and move on to the next one, then repeat.

There are guys who can do this many times over an extended period of time. I can do two dry ones but by the third time, I have to let everything go with a complete ejaculation. Still, I get two more orgasms than I would have not using this technique and can last much longer during sex. The effort of mastering the method has been well worth it to me.

I hope this works as the short answer.

PS: Don’t bother trying this during intercourse itself until you can do it well by masturbating. It’s during this training period that you will learn your timing through recognition of all the stages of orgasm by their varying sensations.

avocet8,

Thanks thats what i’m after!

Thats interesting about the dry orgasm thing, I can do that, but I still lose the erection, so I assume that i’m clamping too late, after the fluid has set off on its way, cos it does come out eventually.

But with your (correct) way, you say that as soon as I feel like ‘the process has begun’ I kegel and hold, have a dry orgasm and then I can carry on, I bet it sounds easier than it is. I’ll try it out. I have a few questions also if you dont mind:

1) How long after the dry orgasm do you hold the kegel for? Or is it different every time?
2) After you do this (dry orgasm and release kegel), how long does it take before the next one comes along? I mean is it like starting from the beginning again or shorter?
3) Have you tried bbc’s method of reverse kegeling and what are your thoughts about this?

Thanks a bunch
SS4

I picked avocet’s brain extensively when I started down this path. I even paid $50 to join a pay site (waste of money, suprise, suprise) on the subject. After several months, I still do not have it mastered.

However, PE is my primary focus at this time, and I feel that it is the only reason I do not yet have it mastered. I say this because as avocet so masterfully stated, you need a pc that’s up to the task. I tend to work my pc to the bone during blasters, early in the am, so it if pretty fatigued for the most part the rest of the day. For my girth work, I am doing what Luvdadus described, edging, just below the point of no return as I’ve noticed a bug surge of blood to my dick at this time, then clamp it off and dld bend away for a minute, then edge again, and repeat the process over and over for 4 minutes total girth bends. I have gone too far on way more than one occaison, and only a strong pc clamp has kept me from dumping a load. However, I only lose a small amount of fluid, and can still go back to edging soon thereafter.

With a strong enough pc, which basically will clamp the ejaculatory “hose”, timing is everything. For me, I can feel the fluids begin to move a full 7-8 seconds before the sensation of orgasm. I need to clamp early, or I’m toast. So, I need a good firm 35-40 second squeeze to get the job done correctly, and while I’m pe’ing, this isn’t likely to happen. As soon as I meet my pe goals, this will be the first item on the agenda…

I would warn against working the pc too much. You see advice over and over about working it full out every day as it is a fast healing muscle. Ignore that unless your own pc says that is you. Mine responds best to being worked hard no more than 1-2 times per week. Good luck.

Personally, I’ve had little luck with Kegels in controlling my ejac. They are however a good tool for erectile function. For PMEJ, I have found that you have to desensitize the frenulum in a technique called “cognitive-affective consonance” or matching how you think with how you feel.

The steps are as follows: a) solo- get good, hard erection erection, put down the porn , if using, laydown in a dark room and stroke yourself for 15 uninterrupted minute. Concentrate what you are feeling, NOT what you’re seeing. Do this 3 days straight in a row with a dry hand and without failure (ejac.) The upstoke should be with your full hand around your dick using a LOOSE GRIP. DO NOT SQUEEZE while you slide your hand up the shaft. As your first two fingers approach the head of your dick, close your grip slightly, allow the first three fingers ONLY to go over the top of your dick. Your thumb and pinkie finger remains touching your shaft! The downstroke is a simple reverse in motion of the upstroke. Make sure you release your grip as you reach the bottom of the shaft. Concentrate on the feeling. If you are about to “GO” at any time, stop and release, resume when ready ‘till the 15 minutes is completed. YOU HAVE to complete 3 consecutive days. IF you loose it on day three for example, you are back to day one of the program. b) solo- same as “a” except you do it wet. Vasaline workes best. c) solo- wet but you do not stop stroking yourself at any time during the 15 minutes! You can slow down to almost a stop, but you must be stroking up or down at all times! You know you are getting control when you can begin hip thrusting on the upstoke. Practice, practice, practice. The more days you can string together, the better. d) with partner- start with partner on top mounting you for brief thrusts- one or two, then off, foreplay in between for control, the repeat mount. and extend thrusts as able for 15 minutes. e) change position to you rear mounting (doggie style) go slow, rest, thrust when you can, stop when you are about to “GO”. Your partner should work her clit while you are mounting her from the back. Most women get “off” knowing they are being of theraputic help; it’s their mother instinct. If your partner is not wanting to help- DITCH THE BITCH! Some women have found this as a time to masturbate themselves freely to an orgasm. Try to wait ‘til she cums (or about to- mine will even tell me “I’m cumming, I’m…cummming), then thrust away to orgasm. Do this daily if possible or at least on a regular schedule. Before you know it, you will be changing positions and thrusting away to your and your partner’s content!!!