How I cured my SEVERE premature ejaculation

Yea BigDanny, I totally hear ya. I’m just gonna throw this out there and suggest that you stop thrusting and attempt to regain control whenever you feel like you are about to blow it. At least for a little while until you gain some control and confidence. It may seem lame in the short term, but it will definitely help you out in the long term. One other suggestion is just when you feel like you are getting close to feeling like you are getting close to the point of no return (yes I said getting close to getting close) I would suggest just going balls deep (as deep as you can go) and just sort of thrusting without actually pulling out at all. This will still stimulate her, but it won’t overstimulate you and it will give you some time to regain some composure.

Hey guys, long time no see.
I’ve got a question for you.
Recently I noticed that I can edge/jerk off for quite a long time with a speed similar to when I’m having sex with my girl. However I can still come in under 1 minute if I wish, but it doesn’t even feel good. If I come after vigorous 30-second jerking I feel like mentioned (balls feel good, I feel nothing :D ) and that happens in same manner regardless of the time spent edging/masturbating. That’s led me to believe, that my problem is primarily psychological, because that means that I don’t come because of the high levels of arousal and friction, but because of some psychological mechanism.
The same happens when I have sex with the huge difference that I can't control it like when edging. ;(
That’s convinced me even further that it’s a psychological thing.
What to do now?

P.S. I don’t think arousal has much to do with it, because I can’t get highly aroused in 30 seconds and be able to not get as aroused for 15 minutes. The increase in speed could have something to do with it but that doesn’t explain the dull finish. Therefore I’d rather attribute it to a psychological mechanism.

Whats up vik?

My first thought when reading your post was that maybe you arn’t edging like you have sex. Do you avoid certain areas of your penis when you edge?

Here is a test; Next time your masturbate try ONLY stimulating the head and a little below area of your penis and see how long it takes you to cum. I remember when I thought I could edge for a long time and then realized I wasn’t really stimulating my most sensitive spots so when I would have sex they would get overstimulated and I would blow. If you do blow quicker using this method then refer to my OP and try gaining more control over your sensitive spots.

If that isn’t the case then my next guess would be that it is an issue of tensing up. Think about how much more relaxed you are when you are by yourself than when you are balls deep in a cutie. You would be super surprised at how much tensing up your gut and butt area will affect your control. When you edge/masturbate pay special attention to relaxing those muscles and breathing easy. I gained a LOT of control this way.

If none of these work then I will need a more detailed description of your case to make any further assessments. For a sort of quick fix next time you are having sex when you first enter just stay there and don’t thrust or move. Just kiss her and breath and relax. Do this as long as long as it takes for you to relax. Once you relax then you can start gentle thrusting. If you think this is lame just consider that it will be good for your control long term and that it is really no different than blowing it quickly anyhow.

Hope this helps, if not just post back with more specific concerns and we will go from there. Cheers and good luck mate!

Test report:
15 mins of stimulating the head area without even a twitch. :P
Then I tried to force it and came in 20 seconds. And it didn’t feel good, again.
I really, really feel like I’m forcing it in my mind, not physically. I stroked (masturbation stroke ofc., like a loose jelq grip :P) the head area vigorously (like 3 strokes per second - lol 3 sps, that’s a new speed measurement abbreviation :D ) and nothing. I’ll try to note if I’m doing something different when I “force” it, but for now it’s a real mystery.

P.S. I’ll see what happens (that advice about tensing) when I have sex. :)

I’m still having good days and bad days.. One day I’ll feel the urge to pop my load after 45 seconds, and the next day I’ll have to force myself. And just like you Vik, my orgasms have very little “feeling” to them.. I have to “fake” noises when I cum during sex.. Maybe if we just stop having orgasms on our own for a month or two, the feeling will be a lot more pleasant. I only masturbate twice a week and usually have sex twice/three times a week.. I dunno.. Any thoughts?

Great post. I never considered myself a premature ejaculator, but I dont have great staying power. This is definitely something that Im looking for out of PE…better staying power. You know, the whole “butt” thing is pretty funny. I actually learned this a long long time ago in college. One of my college roomates made a comment in passing about relaxing your butt to last longer. I tried it, it worked, and it stuck with my whole life. definitely worth reading

Hey Vik and BD,

Vik,

Interesting that you don’t shoot faster when you stimulate your head more. I’m jealous! It took a LOT of work for me to get control over that! :)

If this staying relaxed thing doesn’t work then I have a few more suggestions. Do you consider yourself in pretty decent shape? I have found that the stronger your core is the more control I have. I think it is simply a result of being able to work hard during sex, but stay relaxed because you aren’t overworking yourself. I think this goes along with the stretching thing.

If that isn’t the case your problem could be purely mental. Edging will help you tons then and you have it a lot easier than many other guys. Remember in my OP how it says that you have to just pay attention to how your body reacts to the stimulation without trying to tell yourself not to come. For example, when I first started edging and felt the urge to cum I would be like “fuck dude stop, don’t cum don’t cum don’t cum, don’t enjoy this feeling!”. The same thing happened during sex except x10. After a while I learned to just think “ok I feel like I want to cum, I am getting close, I enjoy this feeling, but I want to not ejaculate. I am going to relax for a second and start back up”. Read my OP again for the reasons why this is effective.

Hope that helps, if not post back and we will figure something out. Trust me when I say where there is a will (two in this case) there’s a way.

BD,

Its crazy that you mentioned that because I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I remember there was a period when I went through the exact same thing. Basically just really weak orgasms. Basically I did the exact same thing you suggested. I took 10 days off from any form of masturbation and ejaculation. No jerking it and no sex. It sucks, but trust me when I say it will help. Then after the 10 days I masturbated to ejaculation every day for a week and each day I noticed my orgasms got stronger. I don’t really know why this is and haven’t really been able to come up with a solid reason why. Maybe its physical and psychological conditioning? Anyway definitely give it a shot. Also make sure you are drinking plenty of water because that massively affects your ejaculation volume which contributes to orgasm. I would also give kegels a shot, but not until AFTER the 10 day thing. Let me know what you think.

Funny isn’t it? I never heard about it from anybody else just had to figure it out for myself. Your friend was definitely right! :)

Guru.. I was going to attempt to hold out on ejaculating, but my girlfriend was looking way too good Saturday evening.. Turned out to be a good session though. Was able to satisfy her after about three minutes, and it’s funny how it’s no problem after you’ve succeeded in pleasing your woman (for me at least).. My orgasm was ok.. I guess all you can expect from having to pull out. Oh, there was one time that I felt the urge to spew uncontrollably, and I’m not sure where I read it in these forums, but I experimented by clenching my butt muscles (kinda like farting) and it really helped, I still slowed down and stopped for a second.. Actually changed positions as a cover up =) After getting over the feeling, I was desensitized to the point where I could give her a nice pillaging. I think I’m getting close to controlling this crap, and I know for sure it’s psychological.. Probably because in my 15 years of dating and getting over a horrible 5 year marriage, the chick I’m dating now makes me feel like no other girl ever has. I guess I feel like I have to be perfect at everything with her and I underestimate myself, especially during sex.. Maybe hypnosis would be more effective XD

Just a suggestions, and let me know what you think about this guru- when you guys are edging, try multiple positions so that your penis and body aren’t getting used to getting off in only one form. Edge with your left hand and right hand. Edge while sitting down, standing up, and in a 3 point kneel on your bed as if you’re in missionary (a little awkward but I do missionary a lot so I do this a good amount). Edge without porn to know your body better, but also with porn so you can get used to edging while being more turned on, which is harder. Try with lube and without lube. If you’re lazy like me, the least you can do is thrust a little bit into your palm when you edge while sitting down.

I agree Alex.. And if possible, maybe using a Fleshlight or something similar will help, although nothing will come close to the real thing. The hands free thrusting might help a lot though.

Yea Alex, all very good suggestions. You have to hit this thing from all angles. Thanks for the input.

DB, fleshlight is awesome. It is tough to get used to because it feels so good, but it will definitely help in the long run.

Damn, I haven’t got laid for some days now, but the situation is complicated. That said, that’s the reason I couldn’t try your tips guru, but I watched some porn yesterday and it provided me with more information about my PreEj. Basically, I held it for under 2 minutes (yeah, I kinda failed, but I wasn’t really trying, my bad). No difference in stroke or grip, just the added pleasure of watching porn. I didn’t pay attention to how tense I am and as I said didn’t try to hold it, but still, PonR came really easy and fast and so did I.
I didn’t think the addition of porn would cut my time by so much. I’ll do some more experimenting (hopefully with my girl) these days and post any insight I get on the topic.

P.S. Guru, thank you for being so supportive and forthcoming. Recently I really (emphasis on the word “really”, I don’t want it to seem like I was some ungrateful bastard in the past) started to appreciate that kind of attitude in people, so yeah, respect man. :)

Nice Thread. Was a little hard to read but I got through the whole thing. Breathing tip = AWESOME. Instant way to improve ejaculation time.

What’s the motive for watching porn and jacking off? Was it an experiment because it could possibly tell me something about my premature ejaculation.