I've cured my premature ejaculation

GENERAL UPDATE

Everything is going perfectly. I have virtually complete control of orgasm. I can last as long as want. I have no refractory period, so I can cum and then immediately start over and cum again. I haven’t tried for a third time yet, but will soon.

Thanks for sharing your exerience in that regard.

Yeah, she find most things gross with sex. Oral, anal, fingers, vibrators. She has very occasionally given me oral and once or twice over the years I’ve given her oral but she says she doesn’t like it. She enjoys straight forward missionary and variations of the missionary but nothing else, although she does them more often now than ever before.

Recently I cut down on initiating sex and just did it when she initiated, result was we have less sex, but better quality. She has started enjoying doing it twice in a row and has started initiating other positions and a couple of things she previously labelled as gross.
So I think giving her the space to initiate has been useful in helping her discover her own sex drive. I think she is realising that she wants to do these gross things as long as she doesn’t feel pushed into it when she’s not in the mood. Unfortunately she’s only in the mood a few times a month. But I’d rather have quality than quantity.

It’s a long process to undo a prudish upbringing but “slowly slowly catch the monkey”. We’ve made tons of progress over the last few months, mainly down to changes in things I can control, such as not initiating sex so frequently.

GENERAL UPDATE

Everything is going perfectly. I have virtually complete control of orgasm. I can last as long as want. I have no refractory period, so I can cum and then immediately start over and cum again. I haven’t tried for a third time yet, but will soon. My sex drive is at a much lower and more comfortable level. This is the thing that has improved my sex life the most. Sounds strange but it’s true. My wife is initiating now and is more horny and she’s initiating sex acts that she said she hated before.

So for me Paxil/seroxat has worked in more ways than I expected and has facilitated changes in my sexual behaviour that have greatly improved the quality of sex with my wife. Last night I had sex for about half an hour, I used to be a 2 minute man. I had to really concentrate in order to cum. Yes there have been side effects but nothing to worry about. I can conclude it has worked for me with better than expected results.

She has never had an orgasm, even by herself? If not, I think that is where she needs to start. She needs to learn how to give herself an orgasm, by herself, so there is no pressure. While you are not around.

And do you attribute the “no refractory” period to the paxil?

My refractory period has always been, even when I was young and hot, many HOURS if not DAYS!

This may seem weird KG but it seems like you ans I are somewhat kind of in the same boat with this. My wife doesn’t like sex. I may get it twice a month. I’m lucky if I get it more. But I guess since Ive been taking Zoloft, I haven’t been that much concerned although my sex drive is still very high and I want to f*ck ever woman I see. I guess that may have come from being more confident in knowing that I wont cum as quickly and I can go again sooner. But in terms of my wife, it seem now that she too as yours is now beginning to try more things and is now doing things that I wouldn’t have never imagined. Like giving me oral sex more often even without me asking for it. It makes me think that world is about to come to an end. But as you said," It’s a long process to undo a prudish upbringing" and I must agree.

So your taking the Paxil/seroxat every day or just as needed before sex?

Hey iwillbigger, how long you been married?

The key is to remove pressure. The pressure to have sex and also the pressure to perform certain sexual acts. I found that by letting my wife initiate, we are only having sex when she is horny. Now the difference between having sex with a woman who is not horny and one who is horny is about 5000% better sexual experience. Would you rather have 10 crap shags a month. Or two amazing memorable sexual experiences and 8 masturbation’s.

I started this routine and it meant only having sex twice in one month to begin with. But the sex was HOT!! The sex was creative. She was really present and I felt so much more fulfilled afterwards. But the next month she initiated twice as many times and was horny a lot more in general behaviour, conversation, grabbing my package in passing and stuff like that. After 6 years of giving sex on demand and never having a long enough break for her to build up any sexual tension and thinking she was not a sexual person, just a sexual object for me, she is now discovering that she is actually a sexual person. Given the chance, she does have sexual feelings that build inside her and she has a husband who is not intent on on satisfying himself regardless of whether she’s in the mood or not.

If she has sex only when she’s horny, she is always enjoying sex. If she enjoys sex every time, she may wish to indulge in sex even when she’s only slightly horny, because she has learned that sex is enjoyable.
The key is keeping sex enjoyable for your wife, then she will want more. I know this is very hard in practise, but never never push her into having sex when she doesn’t want it. If that means you never get any for months then sit down and have a chat with her about it, but if she’s like my wife, she’ll start inititating. She will probably never initiate as frequently as you’d like. But she will want it more than you think and it will be the kind of sex that’s worth waiting for.

Check out this link. When a woman doesn’t want sex: compassionate help for hurting couples

PS: Get her off the birth control pills if she’s on them. They kill sexual desire.

Ok guys looking for advice. To date I have been on 10mg paxil/day for the last 32 days. About 10 days ago I’ve switched from taking it in the AM to early evening, hoping it would make a difference. As of today I have noticed no diffference in the time it takes me to get off. Still about the same 2-4 minutes. I was wandering if I should up my dosage to 20mg/day to see if that has any effect, and if not maybe I need to switch medications. I have had no side effects what so ever on the 10mg/day even taking it in the evening. So my question is should I up my dosage? I am an occassional drinker and smoker but I don’t see how that can have any negative effect.

I have been married for 14 years. By the way she isn’t on birth control, I had a vasectomy. But as of lately shes been the one to initiate sex. Well at least I let her. And I must agree that it has been more often. I haven’t lost any of my desire though. I am still as horny as I was before taking Zoloft. Also I am having no more side effects and I’m still doing well taking it. I also feel like I have hit a plateau as well and I may have to increase dosage. But I’m still able to go longer than 15 min.