Penissizedebate.com messing with me

Hey, Sta-kool, thanks for your reply, here are my thoughts:

I don’t believe that guy, I’m not sure what made you think that I do.

In case there’s some confusion, I was not referring to you as one of those people. Sorry if it sounded like I was, I’m not aware of you ever having said that.

You could be more familiar with this person’s work, and overall message, and maybe it reflects what you’re saying pretty well, but I know that in the link, Dan says “a bigger dick doesn’t provide any extra physical stimulation” and that’s what I disagree with. It doesn’t mean I believe in a given chart, or think it’s porn dick or bust.

You’re certainly right that I’d be better off if I could control my thoughts better, but there are some misconceptions. My ED is not psychological in nature, nocturnal Rigiscan tests have confirmed that. I actually didn’t worry about my size before I began to have ED and my inflation/size became smaller. Regardless of size the more important issue is erectile fortitude. Gotta get me some of that.
When/if I get my full erections back, I don’t know how big they’ll be, and I don’t really have much experience with a fully rigid dick of any size. I’ve only been with two girls when I had my full hard on, I’ve been with a good deal more since then, but that’s a very different experience.
I sure appreciate your advice. I think I read those threads that you just linked to a few years back, but I’ll check them out again this evening. They might be helpful, I think that there are probably some similarities, at least at an emotional level, between having a penis that doesn’t get fully hard, and having a penis that is on the smaller side. I’ve got the first problem, and I honestly don’t know if I have the second. I know that 7 inches is a better than average length, but I have to admit that I do sometimes worry, that even if I got my full erections back someday, that where ever I ended up in girth, if it were in the 4.3-4.6 range I might still be in a range where sex is missing something. Thanks again.

Nicely written post, Jackman. :up:

Sorry to hear about your ED, hope things will improve for you.

Thanks, Marinera. I definietely didn’t want to sound like I’m bickering, I just feel like there was a fair degree of misunderstanding, that I was trying to politely clear up. I appreciate the help. My real problems are muscle tension. After various tests it’s unclear exactly how much physical damage my penis has, but the urological concensus is that it shouldn’t be causing this much trouble. The rigiscan confirms that emotions are not the primary problem. It mostly for me comes down to muscle problems. I have a very tense, very screwed up abdomin and pelvic floor, if I could get my muscle relaxation and control down really well (easier said that done, but I’m working at it) I wonder how much of my rigidity would be restored. Any occasions where I’ve had my rigidity I’ve had an easy time with stamina. So if I get that going, I’ll be in a more normal boat. The boat of “what is the size and shape of my penis, and how good are my skills. I’ll do as well as I can on both of those, but until rigidity comes back, I’m not yet at that level.

OK, so you said it was rhetortical, but I’m going to answer you anyway. It’s because of the ubiquity of hardcore porn. It’s because of Ally McBeal, Sex and the City and Hung. It’s because of a culture that encourages people to outdo each other. It’s because of the self-improvement and fitness industries. It’s because of the cult of the ‘body beautiful’. Guys just want to be that bit bigger than their friends, to look like that guy they saw in a video clip, to be the biggest their wife or girlfriend or the next woman they fuck has had. I’m in it for just this reason, I’ll make no bones about that (hur hur). What I’m saying is, just because I’m aware of these reasons, it doesn’t mean I’m immune to them. Quite the reverse, in fact. In my case I do actually enjoy the effect it has on sex, and so does my girlfriend, because we both enjoy the intense sensations and the visual turn-on - but on the other hand, if I were of an average sort of size, I wouldn’t know what I was missing and would probably never have given it that much thought. I certainly don’t think a massive cock is necessary for sex to be enjoyable, either for a man or a woman. And as some people have pointed out, there’s definitely such a thing as too big.

To turn it round: why do some people, guys especially, go out of their way to become incredibly fit or muscular long after it’s got anything to do with actual health, in a society where most people do not do physically demanding jobs? Why do women get breast implants? Why do some people spend huge amounts of money on supercharged cars when all they really need is a little runabout to drive to work in? Why do people who are already millionaires carry on obsessively trying to accrue wealth?

See what I’m saying?

And yet the number of guys who stick to a PE program, or workout hard enough to get a fabulous body, or build massively powerful cars or amass huge fortunes, is such a minute percentage of the population that its almost irrelevant. The fact that lots of guys would like to do those things but never put in the effort tells us more about people.

It tells us that these things are not genuinely important to more than a fraction of people.

More interestingly - if you have several sets of clothes, a car, your own house, and money in the bank, you are in the top 5% of the worlds wealthy. Most of the human race live day to day just surviving. I imagine there are thousands of guys with a 7” penis that would give up 2” just to have running water within a mile of their house.

See what I’m saying?

That’s true, and a good thing for the hypothetical man in this hypothetical scenario, but it doesn’t mean the hypothetical girl wouldn’t. How much she’d care, and what she’d do about it depends on the girl, and the degree of difference.

I think you’re right, but the question is how enjoyable? A lot of physical pleasure is better than a little, and a whole lot of pleasure is better than that. Speaking for me, there’s a lot of things I don’t mind having be decent or ok, like a car, or an apartment, but for sex and a sexual relationship I don’t feel that way.

According to what I have read here so far about sex with big girth, it seems that although it is a very intense experience for women, many become sore afterwards, etc. Based on that (and of course I may be wrong) to me it seems that hours long hard pounding every other day with a big girth might not be really enjoyable for such women in the long term. On the other hand, I think that they do enjoy a good hard pounding very much (as they do enjoy everything that’s good in sex). So, I would not go for any length or girth myself that would result in a constant need for being very careful not to go too intense or we can skip sex for the next two or three days. Actually the bigger you get, the more your size limits what and how you can do with it to her. So for me the optimal size seems to be somewhere close to what you can still use to deliver a hard pounding without ending up with her being in pain the day after (and that size probably varies more or less for each women). And that way you still have the freedom of putting on a penis sleeve on special days and devastate her if she likes that.

jackman: thanks for the reply. I really hope you get some relief from the ED. Keep pushing your doctors until they know how serious and important this is. Do not take no for an answer.

No, you did not put words in my mouth and I appreciate it. I just wanted to make sure nobody did. But it happened anyway:

Richard, Marinera, Wibble and I never said any such thing.

Everybody acknowledged we are here to get bigger dicks. Everybody talked about their own reasons do to so.

Nor did anybody in this thread say “Size doesn’t Matter”. We said it matters, but not as much as naive male porn viewers think it does.

(sleepy I am not trying to bash you, seriously. I don’t fault you at all)

I am not a woman so I can’t speak for women. However I get the idea from being around women and talking to women, that for most women, dick size is only one factor in what makes a man a desirable sex partner. And certainly when they are looking for a life partner.

When it comes to penis size, I think women have an “acceptable range” between what is too small and too big after they have had some real world experience. They want what they consider enough length and girth for them. If they have had experience, they know that an average dick is not “small”. Even with the “acceptable range” , they may make exceptions because of other variables. Smile, body, a real sexual guy who loves digging into her pleasure.

I hate to use the breast analogy because I think it is flawed. But here goes: I love tits. I love big tits. My “acceptable range” is between say 34 and 38. Do I love 34 inch tits any less than I love 38 inch tits? No. Do I feel like I am “settling”? No. Do I love 40 inch tits? NO, not crazy about them. Too big to really turn me on.

Additionally I have also slept with women who’s breasts are smaller that my “acceptable range”. And it was STILL FRIGGING HOT, because they were hot in many many ways.

I think that’s really true, and I think how mentally satisfying that idea is varies from guy to guy. If the girl that you’re with finds the sensations from your penis to be lesser during intercourse than with other men, but she chooses to be your partner because she likes your kindness, or money, or emotional security, or wit, or looks then there will be some guys who feel like that’s fine, and some guys who are bothered by it a lot.

That’s before you take into account the number of women who would cheat on a man because the sexual satisfaction he can give her is less than what she’s had and enjoyed. There are lots of women who would never do that, but unfortunately you can’t tell which ones they are. Some people think they can, but if that were how deception worked no one would ever be deceived.

I personally have a hard time being optimistic about how girls will respond to sexual short comings, because since my sexual dysfunction I’ve had a girlfriend do that to me (deeply in love, deeply hurt), and I’ve had most of the girls who I’ve dated, some of whom were very enthusiastic about me, never come around again after we had sex. Again, there might be a lot of difference between size issues and erection issues, and in my case poor inflation makes for my size being significantly smaller. The stats I gave earlier is about the best I could get, with a cock ring, and was that size only briefly. I certainly do wonder to what degree it is different, to be small, or to have dysfunction.

Thank you, sta-kool. An idea that I’m going to push for is to be prescribed a muscle relaxant. I’ve talked to so many urologists and specialist, who listen to me describe how my problems tie in with muscle tension, and then nod and say “yes, that could be a contributing factor, but I think I know the real issue, so here’s what we’ll do.”

Well yeah, of course it depends. I’m sure there are some women with unusually small or sensitive vaginas who find sex with even average-sized guys very challenging, and prefer smaller-than-average sized guys as a result. I mean, I’ve been turned down by a girl who was scared I was going to hurt her.

You’re assuming, again, that massive cock = great sex. I’ll admit that I’m kind of contradicting myself here, as I’ve talked about how much my girlfriend and I enjoy it, but there are women who wouldn’t want me at this size, I’m aware of that.

Yes jackman, you are. A lot of that idea is coming from porn. Every time you watch porn, you need to realize that it is the same as a Saturday Morning Cartoon. It is fantasy not reality.

Here’s an example of wibble is talking about:

Penis too large for pleasurable sex
http://goaskali ce.columbia.edu … pleasurable-sex

Dear Alice,

I have encountered a problem I never expected; my boyfriend is quite simply very large. I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain. I’ve seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution. Any suggestions?

Too Shallow?

Dear Too Shallow?,

Nothing is wrong with you. This is not your problem. It’s an area of negotiation between the two of you to be figured out together. Communication and creativity are the two main ingredients in working toward a solution that satisfies both of you.

Contrary to popular belief, that "bigger is better," oral sex, anal sex, or vaginal intercourse with a well-endowed man can be challenging. For some, the "gag reflex" makes it difficult to have the entire shaft of the penis in one’s mouth. For others, penetration causes pain.

You mention pain when your boyfriend tries to penetrate you fully. The discomfort may be due to the head of his penis hitting your cervix (check out Alice’s archived answers to Curious About Her Body — What is my penis hitting? and Where does the penis go for intercourse? for more information). Regardless of penis size, sensual touching is essential before penetration as it allows enough time for arousal as well as vaginal lubrication (also see First sex for two virgins?in Alice’s Sexuality archive). For some women, a dab of water-based lube can make a huge difference. Different positions sometimes help, too.

As a result, some people feel more comfortable with partial insertion during oral, anal, and vaginal sex. The unenveloped part of the penis, as well as the scrotum or anus, can be stimulated with fingers, hands, or a vibrator.

As you experiment and play, tell one another how you feel, what is uncomfortable, and what feels good. This doesn’t mean carrying out a full conversation while having sex; simple words — like "deeper" or "not so deep," "gently" or "harder," "faster" or "slower" — usually are enough to get the point across and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.

While the Latin term for oral sex on a man, fellatio, means, "to suck," oral sex on part or along all of a penis (think corncob) involves caressing with the lips, tongue, mouth, breath, and fingers, together. The glans (also known as the head), corona (the ridge of tissue around the head), and frenulum (the thin band of skin on the underside of the penis connecting the head and the shaft) have many nerve endings that generally cause extra pleasurable sensations when stimulated. Edible liquids, such as honey, can create warm sensations. For safer oral, vaginal, or anal sex, use a liquid that’s water-based so it won’t deteriorate latex condoms. Some receivers enjoy the cold sensation of ice cubes or the tingling feeling of a mint that has been in the giver’s mouth before oral pleasuring begins.

thanks, Alice

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This is all “small cock” propaganda. Big dicks rule, that’s why I do PE. Simple

Uh, thank you for that very helpful piece of advice.

This is “big cock” propaganda. :)

May I ask to you (and anyone who would like to answer) if there is a limit to how big a penis can be without causing discomfort? Which length? 9”? 15”? 4 feets?

And what girth? Like a beer bottle? A fire extinguisher? A bus?

I do not have the time at the moment to investigate the reasons you have potentially listed for ED, but I will later. In the mean time, have you tried quadmix or caverject?