PE and mental health

I haven’t been active on this forum for years, but I recently thought about posting an update to the many men out there that might be in some way helped by my own personal experience— so here it goes.

I suffer(ed) from OCD for years regarding my feeling of being inadequate. I attempted to use this site to make myself feel better. Eventually my dick grew. Before PE, I had five partners, none of whom commented on my size. Since then I’ve had around 25 partners. While some never said anything, I would say around 2/3 at least alluded to my being large, and some flat out said the word huge. I am not what this forum would call huge. I probably average 5” of girth, 5.2” Max. And 7” NBP. When measuring correctly. It took me years to figure out what “Correctly” is even after being on here for some time.

At the end of the day, I was still very unhappy. I’d get on here and see people larger, and still feel inadequate. If that sounds ridiculous, it is, but the brain has a way of forcing us all into darkness if we let it. I know many people on here are in a similar position, so I want to talk about the things that have finally helped me (after nearly a decade) to cope.

1.) Realize that no one actually cares. I used to think if I got good at sex that girls would want to be with me. Women are tricky. Having a good size doesn’t even come close to beating someone who has a good relationship with their family, has a job they love, and is comfortable in their skin.

2.) Know what average is. Even on this forum, and even from respectable members I am amazed by how inaccurate some of the information is. For a long time, I was obsessed with finding information on studies. Some people would talk about 5” MSG being average. That’s just plain wrong. There isn’t a legitimate study out there that someone can actually present that proves this, but there is a ton of incorrect information on the internet. Kinsey’s study is maximum girth. Many others are base girth or maximum girth. In fact if you look at all the information present, the Maximum girth is likely between 4.8-5, and the mid-shaft is markedly less. Even self surveys put this average around 5 for max girth. I would like to see someone show an actual dataset that suggests otherwise. For length, the most legitimate studies place the average at low 5’s. Even a more conservative estimate would probably make the average somewhere around 5.25” (measured from top) NBP X 4.6-4.8” MSG. It’s probably less. If someone has information that would prove this otherwise I’d be interested in seeing it.

3.) Next, if you’re suffering from comparing with people get off any forum that allows you to do this. It will take over your life. For many men on this forum, PE is simply a way to continue to improve their sex life, but judging by my inbox from the last few years many other men on here are feeling a great deal of anxiety just like I was.

4.) Come to terms with reality. The brutal reality is that many people have big dicks and some women just like a bigger dick. I don’t know if it’s biological, if it makes them feel good about themselves or whatever. The other part is that you have to measure correctly. That means no more headphone cords, or toilet paper or whatever to measure girth, or measuring at an angle from the side while pushing in until you bleed, or whatever it is you do.

Probably the most accurate way is with some paper and seeing where it meets, and over the top with a ruler.

The good part of reality is that if you ever took the insane amount of time to look at studies like I did over the years, you will realize that the idea of 6.5” NBP x 5.5” MSG being anywhere even close to ordinary is insane. It’s not just a little above average, it’s fucking huge.

Then the crazy part of reality is this— even if you have or achieve this size or greater, Some women just won’t even notice. I don’t know why. Is it because you have a big frame? Is it because the last guy they slept with wasn’t far off? Maybe they attract large men with this quality. I don’t know, but statistically it’s very large, like 5th percentile in both categories.

Hopefully that will help some people out. If you are on the smaller end, not mentally unstable, and want to give this a go— the greatest part of reality is that it actually works, and many many men won’t ever know it or have the discipline to follow through on it.

+1
Well said mate.

1. I posted about this two weeks ago.
2. You can’t teach that. It took me ages to learn it.
3. I didn’t get onto Thunder’s or PE Gym till last year cuz of this. Some of those signatures were downright terrifying.
4. Reality and not give a damn.

You have reached the end of the path. PE is just a thing you can do now. You understand. Hopefully others will like you do.

Thanks for the feedback to both of you. I think it’s interesting that you said #2 took ages because it almost seems like it shouldn’t— like you could just go online and figure it out, then you start putting the pieces together (wish I didn’t waste so much life on this) and realize the actual Kinsey study is game changing when comparing yourself, that there isn’t an ounce of proof that Lifestyles is mid-shaft, not to mention it was already biased as fuck, that almost no legitimate study on length even puts the average at 5.5” when properly measured, and you realize that in a game of 1/10th here 1/10th there where everyone just wants to feel at least normal, the internet is driving so many to wasting life, and for those who actually do have a legitimate concern (the many who don’t speak up on here), their real goal seems that much further away.

I tell you why it’s anything but easy.

Porn.

Then “Well, he was a lot bigger than you…” She tells you about the ex after you’ve read up and think you are flying high on your high end of average stats. No Internet survey or documentation on paper will heal a bruised ego.

I’ve seen the wreckage of too many egos, my own at the bottom of the pile, to believe it’s easy to understand the numbers.

I walked PE Gym once. Saw their resident titan in Titleist size range and…years went by before I logged back in. I try to be approachable but I cannot help being who I am.

I know exactly what you’re getting at. But none of this is easy. It’s all personal growth, regardless how simple it appears on its face. It is all about us as individuals.

#4 doesn’t even matter. Love who you are. Women and their preferences don’t even matter. The one who loves you won’t disrespect you or make you feel inadequate.

Thanks for posting this.

My children’s mother took pleasure in destroying my confidence.

She drove me away and to Thunder’s place, where I found refuge.

If she only knew.

I still have my days but my wife loves what I have and called my unit chubby the other day.

I’m beginning to think she’s right!

I wholeheartedly agree with this. I think for many, including myself, the things brought up here is what PE is all about.

We all want peace of mind. If a few inches of dick will help us get there we are truly lucky to have found this place. But working on the issues outside of PE can probably be even more important than pulling on our junk :)

About #2, I think this is an issue for many because we tend to register bad news much more effectively than good news. Say I read 10 penis size surveys and 2 of those showed a much higher average size than the rest, these 2 are still the ones I’ll remember down the line, even if they were of much lesser quality and I know it. At least that’s how my mind likes to operate, but maybe I’m a pessimist :D

I completely agree with you N1njaman, our brains these days register negatives a lot easier than positives. Not just with things like this, but everyday things. Can’t remember where I read it (some psychology book maybe), but we tend to remember bad memories over good memories, undoubtedly because we allow them to affect us more.

Regardless, we need to be thankful for many things in life. Dicks are a very small part of our life, and us guys think they are the only thing we have. What if we had no sense of touch, then we wouldn’t even be able to feel our dicks. What if we were paralyzed from the waist down? Again, can’t feel anything nor could we even take a leak without assistance. There will always be bigger, there will always be smaller, someone more handsome, someone that got beat with the ugly stick for years of their life. Diversity is what makes life great, if we all had an 8x6 dick then we’d all be forced to work on other parts of our life to differentiate us from the next guy to get that girl/guy. PE is fun, it’s a great hobby, can help us with EQ if we have problems with that, and may make us bigger. But we shouldn’t let it control our lives. If we do, then we get absolutely no where.

Good post, and regarding number 3, realize that some people on this or other forums are exaggerating, lying to themselves or others, or can’t or won’t measure correctly anyway, so comparing is ridiculous.

Interesting responses from everyone! I’m actually surprised no one has really thrown out a different opinion on any of the topics. I wholeheartedly believe that getting to a level of real honesty with ourselves is one of the keys to happiness and I hope that this post and discussion helps persuade people to do that. I agree with the people who posted on here about looking at surveys and only noticing some while disregarding others, and I think this is the brains way of staying occupied or distracting us from real concerns and how awesome life can be when we can become accepting of ourselves and a bit more detached.

Furthermore, I really hope this message gets to men who are younger and in their 20’s. I started looking at this forum almost 9 years ago when I was young and I spent many years preoccupied with this part of my body and other concerns that affected my connection with other people. What I would ask anyone to do who is on this forum is not to accept it when people post information that is false and cannot be backed up by any hard data, and even to correct those who come along with statistics or information that seems bogus.

In the few events where I’ve seen someone degrade or bully anyone else on this forum they’ve been called out immediately, but don’t forget that false information is another way of bullying people. When someone posts the averages from a study and they do so incorrectly without viewing data or because some internet site told them “the truth” or when someone says something like “based on people I see at the gym” there is “no way” 6X5 is above average, that’s hurting other people. By all means if you have some verifiable evidence of this outside of your own visual perception, then state it, but if you can’t back it up (and I doubt you can), then you’re hurting the lives of the many men who come here with body dysmorphia, OCD, and other anxiety.

To the people who do this, I would ask that you take a further look at the data before speaking up. Many of the studies are posted on internet sites that say something different than the actual study, anyways if someone has questions on the studies or where I get the information, and how I’ve arrived at my conclusions I’d be happy to respond!

A very good read!

But I have a question on why I should even care what the statistics say? Shouldn’t I go into this not worrying about it?

Before starting PE, I had no idea what the average penis length or girth was. I came here for something entirely different. I had an EQ problem I was facing and thought having a bigger dick wouldn’t hurt either. I was perfectly content with my size, it served me well for many years. In fact, I never even measured it before starting here. This was all for my own personal satisfaction. I came here expecting nothing and figured if nothing comes of it, so what. I gave it a shot.

The only thing is, is that I have been noticing progress and that’s what keeps me going. I’m proud of what I’ve been able to do. Though I haven’t measured, I know all my time spent stretching and jelqing is paying off. But if I pay attention to the numbers, I could be very disappointed on those first measurements since starting. Shouldn’t I not worry about what the average gains are or what average penis length or girth is and just be happy I’m accomplishing something? Don’t you think knowing the numbers could be more cause for stress, disappointment, and guys feeling as though they are a failure?

I guess I’m just the type of guy whose going to do my routine, take my measurements, log my progress, and not worry if I’m in any statistical bracket as long as I’m making personal progress. All that matters to me and should matter to any of us is our own happiness with ourselves. When we’re able to just look at our penis one day and say, “Now, that’s a nice cock”, we should be fulfilled. No number needed.

While we all have our reasons for PE, some to correct a condition and many more to increase overall size, it’s all lost if we aren’t also aggressively searching to make what we have now good enough.

There are so many things other than just penis size that women are looking for. Reality is that we just are all not a fit for one another and so what.

So we need to work on the things that we want to change and find reconcile and god willing appreciation for the things we can’t change about ourselves, it’s ok to be different.

Then search for friends and partners that are a fit and when you find them, appreciate them and give them everything you got.

If you give a girl everything you got and you didn’t sit like a deer in headlights panicking about what she thought about the size of your cock and she still wasn’t satisfied, peace be with her as it is time to cast your rod in search of a new fish.

I think a lot of guys on here also need to disregard some of those that come here claiming they’re 10x7 or some other ridiculous size. Not saying it isn’t possible, but a lot of them have no proof! It’s not a requirement to post measured pics (or a picture in general) but some seem to come here bragging about their huge dicks or how they’re too big now for oral and anal yet can’t prove it, yeah I don’t buy it. So if we see these guys, just ignore them, there are a lot of trolls that pop in and out and some that keep their stories going.

+1

There’s so much truth in this statement. For guys that have to deal with the woman who takes pride in destroying his ego ( trust me I know. I dealt with it for 10 years) my advice is to just get rid of her. A woman who will treat you as “inadequate” will treat so in every walk of your life. Whether it be your dick size, your job, your friends, what you do as you pass times. If she will beat you down about your dick size, she will beat you down for everything else in your life. And that’s no joke. And the thing is if that’s the way she is, she will probably beat you down about your dick size even if your pushing a 9 ×7. And if your pushing average, when you’re gone and she’s with the next guy, you will be the one with the huge cock she beats him down about. That’s just the way some women are.