Rethinking how much size matters to women

No. I’m in my early 30’s and the ladies I talk to range from 20 to 26. I will admit the 20 year old says she is a size queen. I have discussed this in another thread already. I told my sister about the “intimidatingly beautiful” lady a while back and that she wanted me to come over for a little sex back in December. She almost smacked me when I told her I turned her down, but last night when I showed her a picture of the lady, she did actually smack me. And then I had a 45 minute lecture of my self sabotaging and how I need to stop it and move on with my life. I’m still busy with my divorce, and I guess I still had a feeling of commitment, but I need to move on. I’ve been getting a lot of complement from this lady recently as well. The 20 year old is just way too young and we can’t really talk for long. So I will never see her as relationship material.

There is a good old discussion on this in the beginning of this thread, with anna and others.

It looks like men first need to decide what they want.
(a) If you want to be her *biggest*, then in most cases you will need to be >= 8x6, maybe NBPEL.
(b) If you want to be her *best* sex experience, then you will need *some* size, but also 100% EQ, stamina, confidence, skills etc.
(c) If you want her to really *like* you more than everyone else, then everything counts and I don’t know if you *can* know in advance what you should do.

Then you can debate each item above, depending on your goal.

It looks like a lot of guys want (b) or (c), but are only pursuing (a). If you worry too much about size, then you probably won’t have (b) because of insecurity. You could still have (c) though.

This post is solid gold. You cannot have it all. Your focus, realistically, needs to be 2 of those things and hopefully not (a) and (b) as size may preclude (b) from panning out.

Theoretically you can be all 3 but I’ve seen so many guys obsessed about their sizes that the relationship crumbles next to their PE priorities and insecurities. So you should really be honest with yourself.

A lot of men say “I’m getting bigger for my wife/girlfriend/partner” and that is a damn lie. They picked you as you were not contingent on your penis growing in size after they selected you.

Women do think about size. After they pick you to return to their bed, you’ve passed. You’re in. Your size is officially the dick she desires enough to choose it over all the others.

It’s a simple way women view size, usually. Men complicate it by equivalency fallacies based on porn and/or her past partners and inferiority complexes we carry with us.

Set a goal. Be realistic with yourself. Do you want to be the biggest? Do it. The best sex partner? Do that, then. Liked the most? Good luck, that seems harder than the first 2.

Many of us claim all 3 and only mean (a) and won’t admit it to ourselves. But…when she loves sex with you and loves you but you post about “her huge ex making you feel inadequate” despite those things…you really only wanted (a) and aren’t happy as a result.

Be honest with yourself.

There is a good old discussion on this in the beginning of this thread, with anna and others.

It looks like men first need to decide what they want.
(a) If you want to be her *biggest*, then in most cases you will need to be >= 8x6, maybe NBPEL.
(b) If you want to be her *best* sex experience, then you will need *some* size, but also 100% EQ, stamina, confidence, skills etc.
(c) If you want her to really *like* you more than everyone else, then everything counts and I don’t know if you *can* know in advance what you should do.

Then you can debate each item above, depending on your goal.

It looks like a lot of guys want (b) or (c), but are only pursuing (a). If you worry too much about size, then you probably won’t have (b) because of insecurity. You could still have (c) though.

There is a good old discussion on this in the beginning of this thread, with anna and others.

It looks like men first need to decide what they want.
(a) If you want to be her *biggest*, then in most cases you will need to be >= 8x6, maybe NBPEL.
(b) If you want to be her *best* sex experience, then you will need *some* size, but also 100% EQ, stamina, confidence, skills etc.
(c) If you want her to really *like* you more than everyone else, then everything counts and I don’t know if you *can* know in advance what you should do.

Then you can debate each item above, depending on your goal.

It looks like a lot of guys want (b) or (c), but are only pursuing (a). If you worry too much about size, then you probably won’t have (b) because of insecurity. You could still have (c) though.

I heard a female perspective on this.

Paraphrasing and expounding a bit, she said all women (or let’s just say a large majority of women) like bigger sizes. But they don’t like saying that because it’s not a deal breaker for them, and if the men in their life get even the slightest hint of the fact they like big dicks, then it often sets off an inadequacy complex, resentment of female desires, and all around acting very unmanly, which can be a deal breaker. If they’re very vocal about it, they get a reputation as a size queen, a slut - big dicked men assume her attraction is their right simply by their endowment, and small dicked men feel unworthy around her and demonize her.

Combine that with the majority of men not identifying as big (say 2/3’rds of men) - and most women have every reason to never talk about how much they like big dick. They have nothing to gain by admitting this to any male of any size group. Meanwhile, of course they like a big dick as much as we like a buxom bosom. The only time they will talk about it is with other women, or to men who they aren’t interested in and feel secure with, or anonymously.

That made so much sense to me, and resolves all the conflicting information on this. Different answers depending on who’s asking.

This is spot on. I have been ‘collecting data’ on this for some time, from people near me. Female friends, women whom I had sex with, their friends. ‘Data’ like what they tell me, each other and other men. I think I will start a thread on this and on size to write in detail about this, example by example, and you will see that a pattern emerges. I think your female perspective is well articulated and many women act exactly like this instinctively, without thinking much.

Example, type 1: the standard
I know a woman who has a male friend from years. She talks a lot with him and with me. They are friends. He talks to her almost every time he has sex to tell her about the women, when they call him, the pictures they sent him etc. She doesn’t like his style, this behavior etc. Zero interest on him, friends. So they talk openly about things and she sometimes tells him when she has a date and has sex and if it is good etc. But she has never talked openly with him about size. Only minor hints. Sometimes he asks something related to this and she answers vaguely or with emojis etc. On the other hand, simultaneously, on the same day she is telling him about this in this way (about a date she had the day before), she starts a conversation with a female friend, this time really excited and open about it, going straight to the sex part, telling details about size, other parts, if it hurt a little etc, no restraints. So even him, who is a friend, receives this ‘standard’ female treatment for males on this topic.

Example, type 2: the rare exception
I have a female friend which truly tells me everything. In this case I managed to be for her what the female friend is for the example above. She has zero preoccupation about thinking about what to say, totally open. I receive pictures of the guys from her, comments etc. I am the first person that she comes to to tell about her last date. I actually know almost her entire sexual history and, therefore, who are the bigger guys for her (I helped her estimate it with 3D objects). But this is extremely rare.

I have more examples from the types 1 and 2. The pattern confirms what your female friend told you. That is the main reason why guys should never bring this topic to a woman, even if she is only your friend or specially if you are dating her. If guys want to know about what women think from personal experience, then they need to find someone which grants them the treatment like type 2. Otherwise you can’t trust the answers.

I heard a female perspective on this.

Paraphrasing and expounding a bit, she said all women (or let’s just say a large majority of women) like bigger sizes. But they don’t like saying that because it’s not a deal breaker for them, and if the men in their life get even the slightest hint of the fact they like big dicks, then it often sets off an inadequacy complex, resentment of female desires, and all around acting very unmanly, which can be a deal breaker. If they’re very vocal about it, they get a reputation as a size queen, a slut - big dicked men assume her attraction is their right simply by their endowment, and small dicked men feel unworthy around her and demonize her.

Combine that with the majority of men not identifying as big (say 2/3’rds of men) - and most women have every reason to never talk about how much they like big dick. They have nothing to gain by admitting this to any male of any size group. Meanwhile, of course they like a big dick as much as we like a buxom bosom. The only time they will talk about it is with other women, or to men who they aren’t interested in and feel secure with, or anonymously.

That made so much sense to me, and resolves all the conflicting information on this. Different answers depending on who’s asking.

I’ve conducted a blind experiment over my 30 + sex career, in that I always had a range of dildos to use on my significant others. They ranged from 6x5, 7x5, 8×6, 9x6 and a monster 10x 8. Every single one of my long term partners asked, without my persuasion I might add, for the 8x6. I used to warm them up with my modest 6x5 penis (my real penis) then after around 10 minutes they’d ask for the 8x6 without fail. Every one of the six women, and 3 asked for the 8x6 for anal. Every one of those 6 women got to about 7.5 and then they’d grab my hand to stop, it took about another 10 minutes to slowly introduce the remaining half inch and no woman managed more than 8 inch (while using the 9 inch, even with lube). Plus as a side note everyone of the 6 women orgasmed with the 8 inch vibe from purely penetrative sex. The 3 women who took the 8x6 anally orgasmed just from anal penetration and indeed 2 asked specifically for the 8x6 inch to be used anally more than vaginally.

The almost mythical 8x6 is my goal and once I’m there I’ll try to maintain that size, as I don’t want anymore, and I’d never feel embarrassed about a 8x6 penis. If a woman wants more, I’ll point her to the horse’s stable. Even the famous pornstar Mandingo’s penis, who is known as one of the largest male performers in pornography, has ‘only’ 9 inches in reality, and he looks obscenely large.

8 inches NBPEL or BPEL?

Until they have a big one. Most women don’t realize how much size matters until they experience a large man. I’ve been with hundreds of women and nearly all make the comment they didn’t know what they were missing. So don’t stop until you hear it for yourself. It’ll make your day!