Rethinking how much size matters to women

There is rich in love and there is just rich. I will never be truly rich with money but my blessings overflow. The experiences and precious moments that flitter bye I hold dear to my heart.

You make life what you want of it. I don’t have desire for fancy things. I would rather live comfortably within my means. I work to play. But I am not trying to keep up with the Jones or anyone. Hopefully when searching for a partner, this is an important topic. You have to be on the same page. If your cock is the deal breaker that seems superficial. But if the woman has a preference at least she knows what she needs. So many women don’t know their body or its needs. I don’t think you can hold this against a woman. My 2 cents.

The real world is what you make of it and who you surround yourself with.

If you’re shallow and surround yourself with shallow people, you see a lot of shallowness everywhere.

I’ve never dated a shallow woman, nor would I.

There are just as many if not more shitty-ass men out there, and if you go into every relationship with a chip on your shoulder and with the intention of getting a woman dependent on you so you can control her, you’re just one more of those making the world a shitty-ass place.

Better stay alone and ruin only your own life than to spread misery to others.

If I may speak on both the original topic and the most recent one (I think they’re related, at least in my case),

I’d never date or even be friends with a “shallow” person. Just too different from me for us to relate in any way. That being said, some things that “shallow” people care about are actually important. It is good and should be desirable to have a stable career that gives you all the money you need. To have a good physique. To have a good face. To have a good dick. If you value these things above the <person> part of the person, <then> you are shallow.

I’m not afraid of not being good enough. I have enough money, enough physique, enough looks, and enough dick that only a “shallow” woman would reject me for one of these things. I know I will find a good woman who loves me for who I am. I know she won’t leave me. I know she won’t cheat on me. Then what am I afraid of?

I’m afraid of not being the absolute best in every area. I’m afraid of her looking at a man and thinking, “Chonky is the most desirable man I’ve ever met, but I wish he had this guy’s dick.” She wouldn’t do anything about it because I’m still better, but I can’t deal with the idea that she wants something another man has more of than me.

Thank god for the Law of Diminishing Returns.

I really thin Anna nailed the response years ago.
We find our partners and embrace the best in them if somethings fall a bit “short” ahem…. You work with it.
My wife is not my ideal body type or best ever sex partner but all the things about her add up to so much more. I don’t think the size of my penis is of any other concern to her that the size of my feet or brain it’s just a part of me. My 2 cents . Love the discussion folks!

So if a Woman is not into you she is shallow? Go figure. I have been wrong all this time. Thanks for helping me see the light. All this time I was under the impression she wanted more $$, more dick, more man because that is what every female in nature wants. She wants the biggest, strongest male to father her offspring because it gives them a better chance for survival. So if a woman would rather be with a successful man then she is shallow.

If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?

Second this. I’m married, and I know my wife likes seeing men on TV like Jason Momoa and Idris Elba, but I also have come to terms with the fact that we’re a good married fit and fantasy is just that—fantasy. I really don’t think she’s dissatisfied with my penis, although I suppose she wouldn’t tell me if she were, and that fear is at least part of my reason for doing this (but more importantly I’m realizing I like this community and enjoy the exercises, so I’m ultimately making a decision to do this for myself).

I feel bad for young single guys struggling with dysmorphia and wish I could tell them it gets better with time. You can’t let size queens dictate your sense of worth. As men, it’s typically our behavior and actions that get us noticed, so my advice is ultimately focus on yourself and doing this for your own self worth, not for what you think some imagined female ideal wants. If you are doing this for the latter reason, then you won’t find happiness. If you are doing it for you, you’re more likely to feel at peace, and when you are happy and at peace, you will be more likely to attract women (or men, depending on your preference)

My favorite hookup/sex memory (aside from my wife) is a female friend I had in college. We were friends-with-benefits for a time. I’d never really gotten much feedback on my penis good or bad, and I’d incorrectly measured it around 6 inches, but didn’t realize at the time you have to bone press and measure fully engorged. The only comment I’d heard prior was “alright but I’ve definitely seen bigger” and that crushed me for a while.

Back to my college FWB—our first hookup, I pulled down my pants and she said “wow” and just looked for a second, smiling. I thought “oh boy, what crushing thing is she about to say to make me feel 1 foot tall” but before I could respond, she said “you’ve got a big dick”. I replied “really?” —I really thought she was either teasing or trying to boost my ego at first. She frankly stated it wasn’t the biggest she’d seen or had, but that it was a very good size and more than enough to please. I thought her “review” of my cock was pretty fair and realistic (I would never have believed her if she said it was the biggest because I know she was pretty experienced sexually). It was also more or less confirmed she wasn’t just lying when I found out she was referring to me as big to one of our other female friends. I was so over the moon and I’ve held onto that particular memory.

It was my favorite hookup because, sure, I got an ego boost, but I also realized I didn’t need to worry about having the biggest penis. I know I’m on the high side of average, but it took me a while to realize that and work on eliminating my cognitive dissonance— still working on that a bit, but whenever I feel particularly bad about my dick, I think back to her comments

Sorry for the long reply, my ultimate point is that not all, and probably most women are NOT size queens quietly lamenting their husbands’ or boyfriends’ sizes. Sure, they’re going to maybe like seeing a photo of a ripped dude with a massive shower, but that doesn’t mean they are “settling” for less by being with you. Many off us guys are no different. We may appreciate a 10/10 actress or model but that doesn’t mean we’re “settling” for less by choosing our current wives or girlfriends over a fantasy.

53 and have been happily married to a beautiful and outstanding woman for 25 years.

I spent too much time trying to please women, not worth the effort.. Now I arrived to the point where I want to have a big dick just for myself

I suspect many of us simply never realized where we stood in terms of averages, etc. I know I was much the same, and did get compliments, but sort of assigned them to politeness…it was partly from this site, and others dealing with true averages, that I realized the women were not lying to be kind….huge? No. Larger than average? Apparently much so. Who knew?

Cheers to that. I don’t think of it purely in terms of pleasing. I’m not that altruistic. I also don’t exclusively do it for ego, though that is a big factor. But there’s also the selfish side of me that thinks of it as tightening up every pussy in the world.

I firmly believe that most women cut men down just for fun. It’s a bit of a paradox that they want a man who’s confident and in charge, but there’s this other side to them that HATES it at the same time.

This brings back the memory of one particular fling I had. A couple strokes in, she told me not to go so deep, so I backed off a bit. After we were done, she commented that she liked the fact that I eased up, but then gradually pushed deeper until she could fit the whole thing. I was such a dumbass as a teen that it went completely over my head.

I blame porn