Ass Cleaning 101

I wish some girls could read this thread…

Maybe you could send them the link? Haha!

Once in high school a chick I banged had a small piece of toilet on her bum hole while doing it doggy. Hahah

Nice tips I feel bad for girls that have ate my butt since I don’t have a high stream shower head lol

Too funny. I had the exact, same experience recently. Dropped my erection. I got it back up, but it wasn’t the same. Her reaction: “What? You’ve got a problem with it?” Um, yeah?

Rotfl… I love this thread. Glad I have never seen that or I’d be grossed out and done for the night, unless I was drunk.

Guy goes to the doctors with a bit of lettuce sticking out of his bum hole.
Doctor says: “…doesn’t look too serious; it’s just a little lettuce”.
Guy replies: “… it’s much worse than it looks… that’s just the tip of the iceberg….”

:rolling:

Ha! Great, firegoat. Clean bum bro over here. Glad this is actually a topic, since I do agree that this isn’t something brought to the conversation table anywhere and anytime. I’m not too sure on the hole cleanse, since I don’t do anal and neither does my wife. (Not that I wouldn’t mind trying it).

That is a good thread, I never cared for women giving me rimjobs, but I care for the feeling of clean and good smell on myself.

I recently read a profile from a girl on a popular sex site and was appauled by what she said. She said you wouldn’t believe how many guys she has to tell to go wipe their ass after they begin sexual activity. That is repulsive. I would be so embarrassed if a woman said this to me. I try to keep very clean and I now see why so many of the women on the site say hygiene is very important. So next time you take a dump and later on you think you may be getting some, figure out a way to fit in a shower or carry some wet wipes in case of an emergency. Just think of all the girls out there that felt the same way but were afraid to say anything!

Well there are certainly some clueless individuals out there walking around. Half of them probably can not even tie there own shoe laces let alone wiping there own arses properly. I can guarantee my dog would have better personal hygiene than some of these clowns.

Unfortunately, personal hygiene is something too many people ignore. It’s shocking how many people take a dump without then washing their hands. Once left a restaurant before our order was taken because I’d been in the restroom and saw the chef leave without washing his hands.

My father-in-law was in an old north woods bar while deer hunting, and his group had just ordered hamburgers. After using the tiny closet sized facility, the bar owner walked right past the sink that was just outside the tiny toilet room. He then proceeded to make hamburger patties with his bare hands, and hollered over asking how they wanted their hamburgers. My father-in-law shouted, “Fry the piss out of them”.

A few weeks ago some gals I know got into an online discussion about their husbands’ and boyfriends’ showering deficiencies. Seems very few guys ever wash their feet while showering, and too many do a very poor job of cleaning their ass. Damn that’s sad.

Common sense isn’t so common. Personal hygiene is simple. Can’t imagine a guy doing that. It has to be a turn off for the female.

As a man that has many years on anal experience with other men.. Antibacterial soap is NOT a good idea. Your ass, even while clean, has good bacteria that need to stay there. A thorough flushing/enema with Luke warm water will take care of having a nice clean inside job.

Diet is definitely a big factor. I can always tell when I’ve been eating poorly by the firmness of my shit. When I’m doing good and eating healthy the shit comes out solid and in one piece and paper is practically as clean as when I unrolled it. But if I’ve been hitting up BBQs, getting fast food, or anything greasy and/or fatty yuck. My ass becomes a paste gun and there’s always something left up inside no matter how many wipes I make.

Whether at work or home, when I’m feeling not-so-fresh I take a single serve cold bottle of water right from the fridge and straight to the bathroom.

Just press it up against your hole and squeeze all you can. I usually can’t get more than half the water from the bottle in. Let the icy water shoot back out, carrying dingle-berries and other forgotten treasures with it. If I need another shot to be thorough I’ll reach over to the sink and fill it back up and repeat.

If you have a roid or 2 like me this is as close to heaven as your rectum ever gets, especially on a hot summer day.

Pro tips:
1. Don’t let up on the bottle before taking it away from the hole or you’ll fill it back up with shit water.
2. When you think the water has all ran back out, give it another minute. You’ll be surprised.
3. Dab with the TP or it will shred and stick to you. Better yet, use a dry washcloth.
4. Hit that crack with a little powder afterwards.

Baby powder is linked to cancer so I would not use it. Not that I do.