Ass Cleaning 101

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Well they get right into the text - literally. Try it sometime. ( Wash your hands first though).

:)

That’s not freaky. I too am the same way. I will not touch anything in a men’s restroom. When washing my hands in a restroom, I use a paper towel to turn on the water to wash and another to turn off the water. I use another to open the door. The way I see it is that men hold their dicks when pissing and then touch the knob to turn on the water. I will touch no mans dick even from a knob on a sink.

I also will not let my wife see me sitting on a toilet, I just won’t. I also have a problem sitting on other peoples toilet seats. It grosses me out. I have my body trained to go in the morning before work and go after work cause I will not share a toilet seat with pimply asses at work, and if I do have to go really bad, I will take time off to drive home and back. I’m there with you brother about the passing gas thing too. Nobody hears me passing gas.

I with you, tntjockey.

I live in NYC (Manhattan) where available toilets are few and far between. Restaurants require you to be a customer to use theirs, so that leaves large department stores, bus or train stations or hotels. All of which I prefer not to use. I usually will say to hell with it and take a subway or bus home to do my thing. If it is a hurry up thing, I have been known to take a taxi and pay extra to hurry. I try to do everything that I have to do before I leave home for the day.

You know, until I read this thread, I thought I was pretty much a loner regarding this matter. It is nice to know I am no longer alone. :)

I usually am able to do what I need to do before leaving for the day, then usually anything can wait after that.

But I have been know to take one before sex - nothing worse than having a hard-on compromised because of an uncooperative turd..

The other day, I was in a rush and did not figure I would spend so much time downtown. But under normal circumstances that would not have happened. I try to schedule appointments for late morning or afternoon, for a variety of reasons - one of which is being able to go through my normal post wake-up routine, which includes taking a crap!

Great thread!

I’m usually able to time my shits in the morning before my shower so I can spray it down after wiping. If the urge comes while showering I come back in the shower to spray it down afterwards. If I have to take a dump during the day I find it too much work to hop in the shower and often end up wiping till I bleed :(

The entire routine goes a bit too far for me right now but just the first bit makes wiping already a lot more efficient and I feel more clean.

I have a toilet seat that I bought, (brand new) for older people or handicapped, it is a seat with legs and it goes over toilet with seats. I use it to go on vacations if we are driving far. I once forgot it and had the biggest stomach ache and finely pulled into a town and looked for one, which was difficult to find one.

Oh! I will not go out of town with out a pillow or a bed sheet especially if we need to stop for a room. I know, I know, I have issues. A pillow case is not that thick and some drunk could have been sweating on it days before. I also don’t want ones dandruff residue. You all should see all the new pillows we have in our closet, because if I forget my pillow, I will buy another pair. Besides, I like the way mine smells.

Read this post a while back, that seems like way too much work and time just for one shit.

Have you thought about getting a douche bottle? Looks like a big ear cleaner. If you put a couple bulb fulls of warm water in and let it set for a couple of minutes it will get all of the shit out. You could also mix some mild soap in if you’re that anal about it. Just a thought

I’ved used snow in the great outdoors— really.

And then there was the night that I was struck with severe bowel distress on the walk home from dinner and couldn’t make it the last two blocks home.

I literally crapped in a dark service entry alcove just off Fifth Avenue.

Fortunately mom taught me to always keep a hanky handy! ;)

Funny thing— walked by there a few days later and noted that they had installed a security light.

No camera yet that I could see.

You can blame Cock Kent for this disgusting interlude.

Lmao!

Excellent thread, Andro you are a killer man you had me laughing,don’t try anything like that any time soon.

Thanks Supersizeit,
it was a delicate subject handled in great detail and tact, I learned some more on the subject.(You have a pleasant style of writing) It is not if you can discuss, back side hygiene with your relatives or friends, well I don’t anyway. (Though my own routine is quite comprehensive and one I am satisfied with). I would expect anal hygiene, would get over looked by a lot of the population male and female.
The reason I was drawn to this thread is because today, I removed the hairs from my anal area. It is a regular thing, fortnightly, there abouts.

I originally tried with scissors and a razor blade, BUT (no pun intended) apart from getting a bad back I was not satisfied with the result and razor blade cuts in that delicate area are somewhat painful. So after a little thought and searching on the Internet I now use a product called Magic, Regular Fragrance shave cream made buy Soft Sheen Carson. It is a razor less beard remover cream. You are supposed to put the cream on dry clean skin for around 6 minutes, I leave it on for about 25 minutes. It sort of dissolves the hairs, and you scrape the area with a area with a skin exfoliating nylon cloth or similar. When you are waiting for the product to work it it a good time to do a little stretching or jelqing etc.

I cleaned up my act in that area for the benefit of past and the current Mrs Dieselpower and future ones. Thanks again for the post I will read it many times again for amusement and knowledge.

Phenyo, you just introduced this thread to a whole new set of newbies! :)

I have a friend who is fond of the expression “Do bears crap in the woods…”

He said it recently when I was thinking of this thread, and I replied “Only if if there is a stream nearby”. ;) :confused:

Way funny.