Retarded ejaculation

iamaru — thanks for telling me that. I recommended it one other time on Thunder’s to a guy who was claiming porn had desensitized him to sex with his girlfriend. I told him that too tight a masturbation grip could be the problem. I think the guy ended up thinking I was either a pervert or some sort of secret fleshlight rep trying to spam the board.

I hesitated a long time on getting mine, thinking all the stuff on the fleshlight board was BS. Do I ever regret that! — it is a one of the best presents I ever gave myself.

smoothoperator, if you decide to try this I would recommend getting the “Wonderwave” texture as it has the most natural feel.

I have had this too, during the time I was at the hospital for my depression.
During that time I met a woman and in the week-ends we were allowed to go home, so I slept at her place then. She was my girlfriend by the way.
Anyways, the first time we made love was over quickly, I hadn’t had sex for over 2 years so I came after a couple of minutes.
But during that relationship I had this problem several times (at least 10 times) while making love to her. No matter what or how, I just couldn’t come.
We even got to the point of no return (for both her and me) but when we were about to cum, it magically disappeared and only she would come.

My thought is that it’s something in your head, and it could be that you don’t even know what/how/why etc..
In my case it could have been from anti-depressants, but I doubt it, because I always had an erection when we got close to each other.
And unlike you, I could NOT get an erection while helping myself. If my girlfriend wasn’t there, there’s no way it would get up.

You will probably find my opinion stupid or something, but try not to think about it.

No your input is well appreciated. I get in the dumps from time to time and I definitely think that might have an effect on it. I don’t really know whether it’s my condition that causes the gloom or the gloom that causes the condition but I think it is the a fore mentioned. The last girl I was with made me really work for it and I wanted it so badly that I was convinced I would get off, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

I think it is probably what sta-kool was saying, that I have conditioned myself for manual stimulation because I use a “firmer” grip. I’ve been cutting back quite a bit but I include edging/ballooning in my routine and so it is difficult not to overdo it. I think the most likely cure is to re-condition myself. After I reach a reasonable goal maybe 7.5 BPEL. After that I will just do maintenance, hopefully the confidence in my size combined with depriving myself will lead to good results.

I have put a mental block on it and whenever I get close I jinx myself and can’t finish the job. So hopefully with some work and some time I can get the job done. One can only hope because I am the last surviving male in my family who can keep the name alive. Talk about pressure I’m our last hope and I can’t even pop one off! Oh well thanks for the support. All I need now is to find another girl who will have me, can’t be too hard right?

Good thread, I have the exact same problem smoothoperator. I can get myself off in no time but when it comes to oral/vaginal I seem to have a real problem getting off (I have cummed in my gf but only after about the 4-5 session where my balls were basically about to explode lol). This is extremely frustrating and I hate hearing about how others wish they could last longer..

I have read elsewhere about the fleshlight idea and it seems like it may be plausible, maybe I am gripping too hard. Hope to hear from others how we can overcome this together!

I am glad that so many folk have come forward and are sharing in their experiences, although it appears that some of us experiences vary it appears we all share a common challenge. I am of the mind that its partly psychological and to another extent physical too. In all honesty I think the fleshlight idea will be a good starting point for us as I think that may be where the problem may initially stem from.

Gentlemen how many of you here who are busying working through this challenge are in a relationship or are engaged in sex with the same person on a regular? If so how have you and her been working on this challenge?

After doing some more thinking about this issue I really think that the fleshlight is THE solution. I also read up on the fleshlight forums and there are many there who seem to have the same problems as us and who *claim* that the fleshlight has helped them overcome their problem of lasting too long.

I mean, it would make perfect sense—we have no problem cumming when we masturbate and if we recondition our dicks to cum when using the fleshlight there should be no problem doing it during actual intercourse. After reading up on this I really think this is the way to go and it makes sense if you think about it no?

People that have had our problem of retarded ejaculation and cured it say to get the standard fleshlight and to get it as smooth as possible. I think it’s worth a try.

And by the way, no I am not a fleshlight rep in any way lol.

While it’s frustrating I fully believe that our problem can be cured—just like PE making our penises larger I believe reconditioning our dicks with the help of a Fleshlight or similar device can help those of us that last *too* long.

I don’t know if anyone here has read up on the Fleshlight boards but members and testimonials there have been sucesful from both members who wanted to cum sooner and those wanted to last longer. Seems it has been sucesful for both groups.

PS: I apologize for the double post I just wanted to get all my thoughts down.

Another question for those with my problem. I am not cut so I have never needed to use lube and do grip pretty tightly, are you all in the same boat or are there cut guys with the same problem. The conditioning theory makes a lot of sense if you think about it. I have had sex around 30 times and have whacked it exponentially more times than that. As such it makes sense that it would be harder to get off while having vaginal/oral sex.

yeah im in the same boat smoothoperator. I am also uncut and paid attention to how hard I grip and it seems like I am using the “death grip”. What I’m going to try is to abstain from whacking for as long as possible and try to do it with a much lighter grip.

Hey everyone. This is an interesting thread. I was wondering if any of you has had any luck overcoming (no pun intended) this problem yet?

I also have a lot of trouble finishing during sex. I definitely watch too much porn, which I’m sure is a big part of the problem as I’m conditioned to manual stimulation and lots of visuals. What really sucks though is that once I actually started getting some action, I quit the porn for awhile and thought that would fix the problem, but it didn’t. I still took forever to cum and eventually had to stop because the pain was too unbearable. It must have been the worst freaking’ blue balls known to man. So stopping masturbating didn’t help. It increased the urgency to cum but didn’t make it any easier.

The fleshlight thing sounds promising, I’m going to look into it. Have any you tried it yet?

BTW, for those with RE, how did you feel the first time you had sex? After jerking it for years, I was very disappointed with both oral and vaginal. The only thing that actually felt good was when she finally got fed up and gave me a handjob. Is that totally messed up or what?

No luck yet but I haven’t really dedicated myself to anything but not jerking off to get off. So there is still the problem of watching porn and whacking it as part of my PE routine. I have also been having pretty regular sex after a break and it’s the same old song and dance. I Haven’t dove into the fleshlight thing yet either but I’ll probably get more serious about this later on. It’s hard to do both PE and work on RE at the same time, one involves not touching yourself and the other doing it all the time.

First time I had sex I was super drunk and with a major fluzie and I was disappointed as well, same with oral. I actually remember telling people I don’t see what the big deal is, and they all thought I was nuts. It is a lot better now however and although I can’t hit the mark I still enjoy being a good lover.

PE: prolonged sexual stimulation and not coming.

RE: prolonged sexual stimulation and not coming… and desperately wishing that you would.

Good point I guess I have been PEing for a lot longer than I thought!

Inability to orgasm is also anorgasmia.

1) Porn detox helped a lot.
2) Fleshlight helped a lot.
3) Changing masturbation helped the most.

Here’s my story:
Unable to orgasm with her
Do I have anorgasmia?

I’m not always 100%, more like 95%. Good luck. PM if you have any questions.

Success!! I don’t know why but this morning me and the lady friend went for round two and I almost gave up but then I put her into the wheelbarrow and bam! There it was Thank you all for the support I always knew I could do it. It’s been a long time cumming!