GIRTH: Pump v. Clamp v. Jelq v. Squeezing v. Hanging v. Bends

All right, I know they all have their benefits and drawbacks, but as an overly organized engineering type, I want to see things listed out in neat, orderly powerpoint fashion.

I’ve done the rest, but have so far avoided the pump. I even hung for a while in college, though that was back in the last millennium. Now, from what I’ve seen both first and second hand, here are some observations:

o JELQING: This is perhaps the most perfect penis exercise. It allows both length and girth gains, mimics the natural rhythm of an erection, has the added benefit of increasing your forearm girth, and there is little risk of injury. Plus it is fun, and if you do it right, there is a happy ending sans forty-five year-old burnt-out Asian chick mumbling awkwardly in the national language of America — broken English. The only drawback is the baseball bat effect, whereby there is a lack of base girth gains, owing to where you grip. Still, if there were any single exercise this would be it. Much like jumping jacks (think about it) this might be the most perfect penile exercise, albeit a bit low and slow on the gain side.

o SQUEEZING: Goes without saying, and as perfect as the jelq. Squeeze the shit out of it. Simple. Someone named Uli apparently thought of squeezing his dick first in the history of mankind. Genius. Never thought of that one. Right up there with Joseph Gayetty. (Toilet paper - Wikipedia). So Uli is just another man who quantified the fucking obvious to the rest of us numbskulls. Neck slaps all around, gents. Squeezing works. Jelq and squeeze, squeeze and jelq. Bing. Done.

o CLAMP: I align this with jelqing and squeezing, but with a constant grip at the base. It’s like an extra hand. Only negatives I’ve heard are thrombosis and gain stalling, owing to conditioning. Used in moderation, though, I’m a big fan.

o PUMPING: Have not tried it yet because I see too many negatives. For instance, discoloration, EQ drop, something about a bulge at the tip, ill-fitted sleeves, lack of gauges, expense, difficulty of use, cleaning and maintenance, not to mention clogged veins we call "thrombosis," possibly something akin to the bends in diving owing to rapid pressure changes and the blood oxygen bubbling out. Plus, most folks report the gains are not permanent, but rely on routine, albeit minor maintenance. Other than envious comments regarding "packing the tube," I am unconvinced this is a safe and reliable girth routine. Someone please convince me otherwise. Please. There are way too many pumpers for them all to be wrong. Still, I mentioned this to a younger gal recently and she said, Oh yeah, pumping works. Maybe there’s the proof, at least among the younger generation.

o HANGING: Regarding base girth, the only convincing argument I’ve seen is hanging. I’m working out the physics on that one, maybe someone has insight. I believe it might pull out some hidden base, or perhaps the fulcrum against the pube bone increases girth. Would love to see some bro-science on why this would increase base, so snap your leotard and get to bro-ing the shit out of hanging v. base girth. Mainly I am interested not in justifying hanging, but rather in discovering NEW ways of increasing base girth without hanging, using the same methodology. For instance, does a BTC stretch do the same thing, and for the same reasons? How about over-the-finger or using some other fulcrum method? Over the wrist? Orange bends? Reverse jelqs and clamping?

o BENDS: As with Uli, some other guy thought of bending the penis. Apparently his name was Mr. Orange, as from Reservoir Dogs, who happened to be a fucking cop! And yet we trust the guy, right, and we dubbed them "Orange" bends. Nice. I’m a big fan. Not sure how much they really help with girth, but they feel good, and anything that feels good must be good. Certainly they don’t hurt, and they are terribly safe. Plus, they may help length and possibly bend correction. Great idea. Good job, Mr. Orange!

What did I miss or get wrong? I know the pumpers are going to come after me, but put down the sleeve for a moment and explain why this is a safe and effective way to permanently increase my girth, and do so without ~any~ harmful side-effects. There is an almost dogma-like devotion to these devices, which baffles me given the lack of professed positives and the overwhelming consensus of negatives, not to mention the expense and constant gritching over fit-form-function of the device. Seems to me that clamping does about the same thing, without the negative side-effects. Still, if it gets you thicker, sign me up!

Convince me.

- Saul

The sad truth is pumping has drawbacks and good points but to see the good points you have to have probably experienced some of the bad ones. I have been pumping a long time and have a few thoughts for you.

The best part pumping is the versatility.

1. You can go lightweight pressure, (between 2-5HG) and long duration (greater than 20 minutes but less than 2 hours) and see gains in length and girth.

2. You can pump for pleasure, this is very common with new pumpers and why the bathmate sells.

3. A pump is a great compliment to a shocking routine. A “shocking routine” being a routine that pushes you outside of your norm to hopefully break a plateau. Usually this will be short duration and higher pressures.

4. Regular pumping is good for flaccid hang. There is no better engorgement that I found then after a good pump session..

5. It offer is a very visual and rewarding appearance. This helps generate motivation and inspiration.

6. Out of all of the devices made a pump be sized for anyone. Meaning the proper tube can fit the smallest and largest PE practitioner on Thunder’s.

7. Regardless of your experience level, a pump has something it can offer to even the toughest of penises.

Obviously, there are downfalls. However I’m only going to list the ones I’ve played with and found a loss on.

1. Sizing a cylinder is single handedly the biggest hustle in penis enlargement. Almost any sizing scale by any manufacturer makes any sense nor is correct. Combined this with a subconscious need to feel bigger and you have just bought a tube its too big then another tibe that is slightly smaller but still likely too big for you to get gains out of then have come to a third or fourth tube that probably fits. I spent $600 on Vacu-tech tubes and I will tell you I still have one damn tube that doesn’t quite fit regardless of the significant gains I’ve had since then.

You learn also that a tube that is too big is guaranteed to suck your balls in. This may happen with a properly sized tube but it will most certainly happen with an oversized tube diameter.

2. Gaskets and seal types of vary so widely that you may not find the one you want the first few times you attempt to pump or even purchase one. Case in point, most cheap pumps have a strange looking seal that is not shaped like the typical gasket found on many of the more serious pumps. That said, you won’t know which is what until you start pumping and then realize that the seal is what you don’t like. Then there are plenty of tubes without seals. Or it is a water pump and has a gaitor neck at the base. I literally bought close to 2 dozen pumps/cylinders before learning enough to buy the right stuff and experiment further with just the duration and pressures.

3. Penis tissue, elasticity in particular, varies to widely for a guy to really give you an idea what pressures to use. So either you will see no gains, see no gains and get hurt, or see plenty of gains and have no way to communicate to the rest of us how you accomplish those things. Or communicate effectively but it not work for enough of the people who read it for them to think that pumping is legitimate. I have seen too many crazy low pressure or crazy have pressure routines that yield amazing gains for very particular people.

4. Injuries with a pump sometimes are sudden and stealthy. Many times people do not have an idea that they have gotten hurt until it is too late.

5. Pumping, especially manual pumping, generates so much torque and force without purchasing anything expensive that it is very easy to overdo it because the equipment limitations are far greater than your physical limitations more likely than not. My manual pump has 30 HG on the gauge and I’m sure you can generate that with ease. A complete lack of atmospheric pressure is less than that in the stratosphere.

6. Even if you do somehow decode the secret to getting gains with pumps you run into pumping downfall #1 yet again. Only now you want to experiment with different sizes, shapes, manufacturers and you may actually outgrow your stand-by tubes which will force you to purchase additional ones.

7. Pump tubes, especially the big ones, or large and bulky so they are very difficult to hide. Also, unless you are water pumping, pumps are noisy. So you can kiss stealth PE goodbye. I ran into this when my little brother came up on me at the computer and my tube was concealed but my automatic pump was making very audible noises on a very routine and programmed basis that he really was curious about.

Personally, I have not have that many pumping injuries. The donut affect also does not seem to be a lasting were serious drawback. This is in my own opinion but I have pumped mostly for 4 years and counting.

If you combine them all you got the secret sauce.

pump loss of EQ???

Never heard of that, unless you use it wrong like any other PE exercise

It’s pretty common of a complaint. Pumping doesn’t work the same for everyone.

My guess is that the EQ loss is much the same as what we see with porn. Overuse causes the user to become too accustomed to the pumping, and causes a lack of arousal when not in the pump. At least that’s what I have garnered from reading, so this is strictly an academic observation.

Also, we forgot how your balls get sucked into the pump. I have a particular concern here owing to varicocele and an atrophied testicle. This one gets in the way even when I jelq, as it does not hang as it should, and would pose a real roadblock for me to pump. I plan to have it removed when I get snipped, but until then, definitely no pumping.

And some VERY good information from TG on pumps! Much thanks for the list. Certainly a great collection of wisdom in that post.

- Saul

I’ll add the ball suckage bit but…proper sizing of the tube mitigates much of that. And sometimes it happens and you pump some other time. I mean…it is what it is. I don’t count it as a drawback cuz it’s like counting a Bib hanger pinching. Or a noose extender being uncomfy. Just is what it is and you work it later instead.

What exactly is a squeeze?. I still have not figured out what this excercize is.

Look through the videos link on the front page. The ULI#3 and Jelq Dqueeze use a squeeze motion. Clamping and Extreme ULI count too. However they are achieved by using a tool.

I personally love pumping. I know I’ve mentioned it in the past and TG covered a ton about pumps but I think it feels great.

As long as you have the correct size you won’t get sucked in, right now I have a 1.75 and you couldn’t even suck an extra hair in mine (let alone balls) because it’s so packed.

Imagine a set of lips wrapped around the base of your cock for 20 minutes, that doesn’t sound so bad does it?

I know this is old but bathmate or clamping first?

I am experimenting. I feel like bathmate first works best but I honestly can’t tell

Before using gadgets I would recommend you condition to PE through manuals. If you are just starting out I would recommend beginning with the newbie routine.

Many would recommend exhausting gains from manuals before moving onto the equipment,

As far as pumps go, my personal recommendation would be to use an air pump with a gauge. This will allow you to accurately and consistently control vacuum level.

Clamping is very advanced, so definitely proceed with caution. Keep it light when just starting out and never increase pressure quickly.

Once you have the experience and are properly conditioned, which you might be now, and you if you are planning on doing these exercises on the same day, my recommendation would be to do all clamping prior to pumping.