The Great Big Dick, Big Confidence Debate

Thanks again supersizeit. Thunders is a better place because of guys like you. Its really helpful to know someone cares and shares. Love ya bro.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THIS THREAD WAS DONE,

here’s another twist - courtesy of the experiences of C-Guy and Supersizeit.

How many of us judge a woman by her looks to the point where we decide whether or not she is the “one”? True, looks are important for initial physical attraction which has to be the start BUT haven’t we considered that casual friend - who happens to be a female - marriage material IF ONLY she had a not-so-homely face or her chest was not totally flat?

Most of the time, we’re not asking them to be perfect 10s or 9s, but even a 6 would be enough! Maybe she had a feature that was just off or maybe a growth like that extra underdeveloped head with spinning eyes hanging off her right shoulder was just enough for us to back away…even though she was brimming with self-confidence, funny as hell, and we even thought of her as a soul-mate. How many of us have done that or know someone who has?

Welcome to the fucked-up world of WHAT IFS. What if C-Guy had a bigger dick from the start? His wife would still be with him and maybe they have a few kids. Where would Supersizeit’s mentality or sense of being be if he had a small dick. Where would he be now? If C-Guy had a bigger dick, would his criteria of choosing a wife be different? Yep, I think so. There would be no concern of the size issue in her mind in his eyes.

YOUR DESTINY IS AFFECTED BY HAVING A SMALL DICK and some of you that have never had a small dick have no experience or living concept of this.

Children are born or not born depending on where fate takes us. You want to take a spin in my head and see those clouds swirling really fast through the skies of my past? To see all of my missed opportunities? I don’t think so. The women I could have been with? The parties I could have been to had my confidence been better? Meeting women through friends found at parties, etc. etc. The implications are mind-boggling. It’s a good thing I don’t smoke weed anymore because that’s one creative nightmare of self-loathing I don’t need…BUT IT HAPPENED.

If let’s say there was such a thing as the Ghost of Halloween Past and he showed me a video of those lost past opportunities, I would probably throw up. If he gave me a choice of cutting off an arm with a pocket knife or watching that video, I’d rather cut off the arm but I would probably chose the video because of morbid fascination - and nothing would be worse because then you would know that the best part of your life never happened. It past you by, there in the video, those hotties, semi-hotties, or after-a-6-pack-hotties that you should have been fucking, and in the video you are fucking them…It just didn’t happen in real life. That’s some hardcore haunting. And this jerk-off Ghost of Halloween Past is getting a kick showing this to you and watching you throw up. %-\ TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!! %-\

There’s a 99.9% chance I would have been married earlier and with someone else if I had Supersizeit’s size. I may not have ended in California. The river of FATE would have taken me elsewhere. True, I could have been fucking around too much and have been killed by a jealous husband by now…but the point is the women you meet DETERMINE THE COURSE OF YOUR DESTINY if your dick is on the small side.

To turn the tables around, women don’t have to be size queens to say
“chickenchoker” isn’t big enough for me. If I was a woman, I would hope to be sharp, carry myself well, and chose a well-rounded husband. Good or at least decent-looking, makes a comfortable income, CONFIDENCE, a sense of humor, an over-all nice guy, and an ADEQUATE DICK.

You see how those attributes above just seem to all flow together? That’s not asking for much, is it? They’re not asking for perfect 10( inchers ) or 9( inchers ), but even a 6( incher ) would be enough —— hmm, where did we hear that before? We have our own little checklist for what makes a good wife and we just run through that with each woman we meet.

Therefore, once you realize that your small dick ( if you have a small dick ) changes the course of your destiny, you will have no problem associating its size, or lack of it, to self-confidence.

And then in regards to any conversation regarding penis-size and self-confidence, your vision of it will be crystal-clear.

Oh and by the way, you can have all the self-confidence in the world but if a hottie you really want to be with/marry with makes your 5 inch dick the determining factor, you are HASTA-LA-VISTA-BABY-OUTTA THERE!

And knowing she didn’t need to be a size-queen to say that, let’s see how much self-confidence you have after THAT.

Forget everything I’ve ever said. I most certainly was wrong.

I’ve hit a new low in my life.

Everything seemed to be going well. I was on a journey of growth and things were looking up. I gained new confidence which gave me comfort with self and the ability to confont any person and rise to any challenge. However, even with confidence I still cannot make friends, much less sustain a relationship. Yesterday, I was told politely (and with plenty of flattery) by someone that they didn’t want me as friend; a trend all too common in my life.

I feel truely alone; without a woman, without a friend, and almost without hope.

Today I’ve had my official first drink alone. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it helped me get through the day.

I continue to PE to fill time. I’m not sure it’ll improve much, but it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.

tug_monkey,

Can you elaborate on that particular situation from yesterday? Can you give us more detailed insight on your method to make friends?

When I first came to California, I relocated from the mid-west college that I was attending with a friend of mine. We were not that good of friends and we eventually went our own separate ways.

I never looked to actively make friends with others unless they were attractive females. Not for one-night stands, but to start them out as friends so that may lead to something long term.

All the friends that I have here in the west coast have been directly or indirectly from knowing my wife. i never really cared to look for guy friends because I’ve always known they would eventually happen.

You raise a lot of good points. Our life is like a complex tapestry - even a spider web: you can’t tug on 1 thread without affecting the others. I know that sounds a little fatalistic, but we could never guess “what might have been.” I’ve also had my own issues and thought of some of the very stuff you’ve mentioned….many times, in fact, over the years.
As a young man I was 6.5 x 5.2….not bad size, but for the rest of me it was. I was 6-3 and extremely muscular, very built (people erroneously swore I was on roids). I also had very big hands & feet….but no big meat. I used to die inside every time I’d hear gals speculate out loud how “huge” I must be. Talk about pressure. If I were 5-9, 150 lbs my size might’ve looked good, but it looked like a french fry on me. That hurt my confidence a lot. Not to the point of not having sex, but it certainly exerted psychic forces upon me. I mean, if a gal expected 6 or 6.5, I would’ve been okay. But if she was juicing up expecting 8 or 9, then I would’ve really let her down. Those thoughts preyed upon me and, undoubtedly, affected my choice of females.
Women can never understand the pressure we feel. They feel upset over a pimple or some blemish, but we have this whole dick thing to obsess over.
Now, I’m about 7.25 x 6.25 (almost)….but I’m also 38, married, & with children. To be honest, no woman ever insulted me to my face; nor have I heard about it 2nd hand. Nonetheless, I lacked confidence - which is what this thread is all about. Is confidence only about cock size? Of course not. But if I were 8 x 6 instead of 6.5 x 5.2 I would’ve been a HELLUVA LOT MORE CONFIDENT. Of that I’m sure.
Another irony of my life would be that I do get that big dick….at age 40. :(
As you’ve mentioned….if I knew about PE back when I was in high school, I don’t doubt that my entire life would’ve been unrecognizable from what it is now.

Chickenchoker,

Basically what it came down to was that my girlfriend dumped me a couple days ago and because I’m living in a new city, I felt incredibly alone. It was strange, I didn’t really see it coming and although she was very polite about it, she thought it best for us not to talk again. When I wrote that message, I had just come back from the bar and was coming down off of my buzz. I was feeling pretty low.

I’m over it now, I’m out and meeting new people. I’m not terribly good at relationships, but I’m not giving up yet; though I felt like it the other night.

tug_monkey,

Glad to see you’re feeling better. Yea, for me, I guess I’ve always made friends easily to the point where it’s not even something I consciously make an effort for unless it’s an attractive female I’ve wanted to meet.

Like, for example, the co-workers I’ve met throughout my life. I’ve been friends with them, even if the friendships were temporary. It’s the times of trying to meet that particular hottie is where I had trouble with.

wadzilla,

Thanks for recognizing that penis size obsessions are more complicated and run deeper than meets the eye.

Self confidence comes from within…I’ve known guys with big dicks who were very insecure because they had shitty jobs, or no looks, or were too short, or too skinny … as humans, we can always find something to feel insecure about… no one thing will make us 100% confident in ourselves …just as soon as you feel confident about your new size, you stand next to a guy at a urinal and he’s much bigger…then what?

Please put it in perspective…a big cock helps confidence in one area only

HJ

chickenchoker:

I have no trouble walking up to a perfect 10 and turning on the charm. My male bonding skills on the other hand could use some work. Well, not quite accurate. I can be charming and carismatic with males but it is a finally honed routine I have perfected and not “me” When I charm the panties off of the fairer sex I am just having fun and being me. Women I understand on a very basic and visceral level. Men I don’t entirely understand.

The grass is always greener…

If I had an eight-inch Hammer Of Thor ten years ago, back when I was young and pretty, I would have screwed half my hometown. Now that I’m old, visciously ugly and falling to bits I NEED a larger knob to compensate for the way that Father Time is dissing me.

Yip

I think you and some here are missing the point. The point is: Whatever you feel you are deficient in is the thing that deprives you of self-confidence, especially if you put a lot of emphasis in that particular thing. That may be because you can’t hold onto a job or if you have a small dick.

Once that deficiency is overcome, you gain self-confidence. If I grow a dick big enough to give me much confidence, I don’t care if the next guy at the urinal has a bigger one, because all I care about is that I no longer am deficient in that area - which I placed a lot of emphasis on.

The confidence you speak of is very localized to the sexual ability arena. The self-confidence I just described to you is more of a general overall type of confidence.

CC, I hear ya’…I agree it doen’t HURT to have a nice-sized dick, but it’s not the be-all-end-all either, that’s my point…granted, it can build more confidence in some, if not most PE’ers, but more than likely will not be the piece of the puzzle that is missing to complete your life…I was cocky, pardon the pun, before I went on this journey, and haven’t become more cocky or confident since my gains, which are quite noticible…at a tad over 8x6 each way, I have confidence in my ability, not because of my penis or it’s size…

In other words, let’s say an average looking 6 foot tall guy on this board has very little self confidence with woman, and has a 5 inch dick, but has a nice job and nice life, etc,…over the years, he gains 3 inches and is now 8 inches…nothing else has changed…do you think he’s now going to be a totally self confident man who can approach and bed beautiful women because of his dick?…Maybe, maybe not…I’ve read ramblings from obsessive-compulsive guys on this board who are NEVER big enough…8 wanting 9…9 wanting 10, etc…they will never be confident in themselves…

I still contend it depends on the individual…

Nice gains by the way…1” in less than a year…Keep up the good work, man…you’re there…

HJ

Thanks about the gains.

In your scenario, if that guy’s lack of self-confidence was from his small dick, then I’ll say yes - his confidence will greatly improve with those 3 inches ( which by the way if grown proportionately in girth will over double the volume of his cockmeat ).

However, the lack of self-confidence has to come directly from that, and be defined in his head by that, and not something else underlying and that guy won’t know that until he gets that bigger dick.

There are some of us that see this dick deficiency thing as the limiting factor in our confidence. Like we’ve got our shit together as much as possible with the exception of not having a big enough dick. Now, once we obtain that, we may run into the next limiting factor in our heads - which is fine, we’ll deal with it as it comes. We just have to build that dick now since overcoming that small dick is the next barrier for a lot of us - AND WE CANNOT SEE BEYOND THAT - so we don’t know if there is a next barrier, which is why some of us think that this MAY be the be-all-end-all .

This is great thread, with quiet a few twists and turns. I liked alot of stuff Supersizeit said and also ChickenChocker above me here.

HughJorgan if the only deficiency that guy saw in himself was a small penis, then yes it would be a hell of a confidence booster(if he met his expectations in his mind) and he would have no confidence problems if that was taken care of(unless indeed there were other confidence problems). The thing about confidence is it covers way more than one thing, we just rate certain things as higher priority to raise our confidence. I consider getting a bigger tool to be one of the higher confidence boosters for me, so that is what I’m working on. I have other confidence problems of course, for instance my hair isn’t as thick as it use to be(I’m working on that problem too, using Minox).

Anyway, really enjoyed this thread and all the people who gave some input.

*Note*
The only way in my mind I can even think of putting a girl down like maybe putting us guys down about small dicks is by handing them a bottle of douche and telling them they have a stanky pus(and that might not even equal it). One time I broke down on a girl and told them they needed to douche, I could tell it didn’t go over to well… :eek: