Buckfever's "It's The Final Countdown" Journal

3/14/2024

72 @ 50 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
33.5 Low heat
45 remove pad
50 end

Short light session limited time.

So a man after being in a sexless marriage for a decade, finally succumbs and all he sees is his failure in the betrayal.

He’s in a career that is in the top of the dominance hierarchy and within that career he’s at the top of the dominance hierarchy, really can’t expect more from a man professionally. He’s well read, articulate and has an elegant style. He won the genetic lottery in terms of his looks and physique and he takes good care of himself. Personal trainer 3 times a weeks, long cardio sessions on the weekends. He’s generous to his wife and provides her an outstanding lifestyle. High levels of emotional intelligence and has been very supportive of her, in all respects.

I know her, maybe better than him and I know she’s gone through hardships. But IMO society has really fucked women. Sure we needed to move away from treating women like doormats, but elevating women did not require that we denigrate men. And how this pervasive contempt towards men, permeates relational dynamics is patently absurd.

I told him that with no disrespect to his spouse, as far as I’m concerned any partner that he has, should start their day by thanking Jesus for their good fortune of bringing him into their life………. And that’s how the evening went.

It was a privilege to be able to provide support.

3/15/2024

96 @ 54 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
34.5 low heat
48.5 remove start manual stretching
54 end

Good night sleep, good head swell, took the tension to 96 half turns with little difficulty. Just got a little uncomfortable, so did not get the full duration. We’ll have to work it at 96 for a bit and then make another run at it.

Weight: 187.8 so decidedly under 190. I think everything is in place now. The work issues are largely resolved except for my staff adding hours to my schedule when I’m not looking. I guess I’ve decided to not fight that but, to take the half day every 6 weeks, which they don’t like but that’s tough shit. Hours are available to them elsewhere, I need to take care of myself.

3/16/2024

108-120 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12 half turns
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 ?
25 add 12
27.5 add 12
30 add 12
35 low heat
53.5 heat off
60 end

Got distracted so not sure if I backed it out at 22.5 minutes BUT this is for sure the best session we’ve had in a while. I think the day after the long run when I’m dehydrated I just need to do the session with lower tension as the head swell is not as robust, But we will see. Hopefully back on track. I need to refocus on fitness, just step it up a bit.

Already reacclimated to the daylight saving time. So getting better sleep. That will help.

Also need to focus on my sex life, been too distracted lately.

3/17/2024

60 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
35 low heat remove begin manual stretching
53.5 remove begin manual stretching
60 end

Morning weight: 188.8

Yesterday I had to work late and then went to a birthday party, so no opportunity to pursue intimacy, so hoping for some afternoon delight today so deliberately kept the tension light to not kill the EQ and keep my options open.

Horrible meal choices at the party. Except for some shrimp appetizers, there was no protein, got to eat healthy today and get hydrated. Weather has not been cooperative and the outlook isn’t great this week for me to get the runs in but once past this stretch of weather it looks pretty good and I should be well conditioned enough to up the running frequency.

Feeling behind on the weight goal, but I have a history of getting shredded so believe I can do it again and I don’t want to do it by going into a hard deficit and losing lean muscle. I want to burn it off. Once I get the running and walking in, I’m confident I’ll tighten up fast, but we do have to get going here soon.

3/18/2024

96 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
35 low heat
53.5 remove start manual stretching
60 end

Going to bake at 96 half turns for a bit and then take another run at it.

"Now if you gotta play at garden parties
I wish you a lotta luck
But if memories were all I sang,
I’d rather drive a truck:"

It’s scary to me to see people not progress over the course of 20 years. Probably why i don’t attend many of these family functions.

3/20/2024

108 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12 half turns
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
27.5 add 12
35 low heat
55 heat off
60 end

Somehow yesterday I slept through the alarm so no time for a session. But it went very well today.

Looking at the weather forecast it was clear that I would not get a run in for a while, so I pulled back the intake and weight dropped to 186.8 this morning.

Still concerned about my sexual mindset. I still have the social skills to engage and attract, but being monogamous for some time now, I’ve been having a tendency to let other things crowd out my sexual energy. I don’t like it, it is not an attractive posture and that is entirely on me. At least I’m aware.

You are doing great, trust the process, you will become the lion you imagine.

3/21/2024

108-120 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12 half turns
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add ?
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
27.5 add 12
30 add 12
35 low heat
53.5 heat off
60 end

I might of missed the half turns at 20 minutes. Good session.

Morning Weight: 186.6

Thanks man!

3/22/2024

96 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
35 low heat
46.5 remove start manual stretching
60 end

I did not set the attachment correctly.

3/23/2024

96 @ 45 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
35 low heat
40 remove start manual stretching
45 end

Pressed for time

3/24/2024

96 @ 50 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
35 low heat
42.5 remove start manual stretching
50 end

I’m figuring a hookup later so kept it shorter to recover. Lots of competing interests going on. This Tuesday is my second afternoon off so should be a good week for working out. Weather is better so we’ll put the running back in.

Dumbbell bench press today:
70X22
75X13,10,9,9

Morning Weight: 187.8

Top of mind: Regain my sexual energy.

Accountant showed me the numbers this past week. Best year of my career and it is motivating, but at too much of a cost. Just have to pull it back a little. What is needed is entirely discipline within the mind.

3/25/2024

72 @ 42.5 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 18 half turns
10 add 18
12.5 add 18
15 add 18
17.5 add high heat
35 heat off remove pad
40 end

Overslept and just touching the instrument caused arousal, so pretty much a botched session. Feels like lately all I’m doing on this is maintenance.

3/26/2024

108 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12 half turns
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
27.5 add 12
32.5 low heat
55 remove begin manual stretching
60 end

Better.
At 55 minutes it felt like the attachment wanted to slip so not quite there at 108 half turns.

Still need more sleep but getting closer. Looking forward to having the afternoon off to workout.