Buckfever's "It's The Final Countdown" Journal

3/3/2024

96 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
32 low heat
50.5 remove start manual stretching
60 end

At 50.5 it felt like the attachment might slip so I removed the device. OK session otherwise. Not sure I got the attachment quite right at the onset.

3/4/2024

72 @ 48 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
31 low heat
41 remove start manual stretching
48 end

So looking at the record, last week the day after running 8.9 miles was a disaster due to dehydration. Well I ran 8.9 yesterday and am sure I’m dehydrated so I pulled it back from recent sessions and was able to get to 41 minutes before the attachment did not feel good. Should get better from here. Just something I’ll have to deal with the day after a loner run.

3/5/2024

54 @ 32.5 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 18 half turns
10 add 18
12.5 add 18
15 add high heat
27.5 remove start manual stretching
32.5 end

From the time I woke I suspected this would not go well. Had a poor nights sleep and there was zero morning wood. And then from the attachment I could see the very weak head swell. Decided to do a light session and even with that it went worse than I thought, so just shut it down to let the tissues catch a break. Off tomorrow should go better.

I know that in the United States it’s a political year and so there are narratives. But I have visibility on multifunctional teams and the economy is rolling over. The big factor I’m seeing is some of the teams got particularly greedy when people were flush with stimulus cash and didn’t care, but now that the money is gone that’s over. I talked to a colleague who heads one of the teams and they have a meeting today to discuss a change in strategy. I think this was a really, really dumb strategy, because when you have a marketing posture driven by greed, it is supported by behaviors that are not easy to shift on a dime.

Unfortunately, it’s people who are not part of the decision making that are going to suffer. My role will be to mitigate the damage. Kept me up last night.

Get my first afternoon off next Tuesday, so we should get quite a bit of rest and exercise next 10 days.

I know that I have been writing about stuff seemingly unrelated to PE. But in fact I think PE by it’s very nature, the actual precision with which it needs to be executed with, is sensitive to all the various factors of one’s life. And I only have a remedial understanding of the systems at play but even at that level you become aware of them. Stress, sleep, hydration, fitness, intimacy, mindset…. so many factors come into play.

3/6/2024

96 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
25 add 12
34 low heat
53.5 slippage remove start manual stretching
60 end

So this was a little bit better, was a little bit of slippage right at the time I was going to turn the heat off so I just took the device off and did the manual stretching to not risk any irritation of the attachment tissues.

Very poor sleep last couple of days, I discovered that one of the functional teams we work with changed their positioning without informing me. Yeah well I found out and I called them out on it and now I have to fix the problem. Not the first time that I’ve had to deal with greed capitalizing on short term gains. 4 clients in 10 days and who knows how many more that did not inform me so that I could make it right.

You can be tenacious in life, a brutal motherfucker, but have some integrity, the moment you betray, it’s pretty much fucking over, it’s just a matter of time.

Weight this morning is 190.2, not panicking yet because I’m getting bigger and stronger and my blood pressure is dropping, but it is approaching mid March and it has to be going the other way by then.

Weights later.

3/6/2024

Dumbbell Bench Press

70X21,14

Still getting stronger.

3/7/2024

90 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 18 half turns
10 add 18
12.5 add 18
15 add 18
17.5 add 18
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
35 low heat
53.5 heat off
60 end

Head swell was robust so decided to push the tension increases and it worked out. Just worked out though still needing to work back up.

3/8/2024

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
36 low heat
53.5 heat off
61.5 end

Played it conservative and got a nice long session in.

Late evening dinner meeting/training. All they had was carbs. So I didn’t eat till I got home. That and the work stress fucked up my sleep. Now I have another meeting next week to deal with the rogue actor. He’s actually slightly senior to me, however he’s hurting 3 other stakeholders who will side with me and I have the client relationships. I think in business they call this the weak link. I’m the weak link. It’s always painful to deal with people whose behavior has lost integrity. And pointing fingers does not work because when people become defensive it’s harder to move them to a constructive position. I will apply pressure from the outside and isolate his behavior. Yesterday I informed one of the stakeholders that is closest to him. This morning I informed another of the stakeholders. I will inform the last stakeholder later this afternoon.

It is shocking to me still how people will assume they are smarter than you. It’s a fatal flow if you’re thoughtful in how you execute against it.

I need to take better care of myself, so much nonsense that has to be discarded.

3/10/2024

84 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
35 Low heat
53.5 heat off
60 end

Session went well.
Took yesterday off because I got into an argument, with a woman, which is really stupid, but it seems that periodically I can’t help myself. Fact is I understand female nature and that has given me a very easy time with women most of my life, but at the same time periodically it infuriates me and I express it which is the stupid part. I really should be more of a gentleman in terms of setting expectations. One negative about being able to attract women is that it is harder to want to put up with shit, when it is so much easier to just hook up. In my experience and IMO it is not a healthy way to live. I have to admit that my interaction with "Gina" and the temptation she presented the night before, helped precipitate the fight. At least I’m aware.

My business meeting was moved up to tomorrow by the bad actor as he now realizes that I’m about to withdraw 10-20% of his business. Fun times. And while I do have the leverage, nothing is ever without cost as I would have to develop a new business relationship to take on that work. Partners from the other functional groups have suggested that I should of had those relationships in place and I used to, BUT the bad actor has in fact the most talent, so I would rather insist that he do the right thing instead. People think that you can’t influence those with higher status. But it’s just not true there are all kinds of power bases. We will see how it goes.

Thank God we’re back to daylight saving time so I can catch up on sleep.

188.4 this morning so a least we’re back under 190. It was only for a day but it was a little scary to see that. We are getting in better shape and the better weather will help but we got to do more.

3/11/2024

90 @ 45 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 18 half turns
10 add 18
12.5 add 18
15 add 18
15 add Total Man heat pad high
17.5 add 18
32.5 low heat
40 remove pad
45 end

Shorter session acclimating to the daylight saving time, went well. Jesus after just one day I feel better. I’ll be acclimated by Wednesday at the latest, maybe even tomorrow.

Weight: 188.4

Yesterday Dumbbell bench:
70X21,16
grabbed 2 more reps on the second set pretty much stronger on every movement in one way or another. The weather hasn’t been helping me on the weight but that will improve soon.

Someone is getting fired. What a crazy fucking day. My meeting was cancelled, but my colleague reached out to me. Turns out he’s getting divorced and it was someone else who had made the changes. I was made aware of it by someone on his team in the morning who assured me that he was aware of what had happened.

He had already reversed the proposals and will provide remediation for the clients. And he asked me to have dinner with him Wednesday as a friend and I told him I’ll be there for him.

Was concerned I would think less of him because he had the indiscretion. I said, got your back no matter what.

Intimacy is very complicated.

3/12/2024

90@31 minutes

Had trouble with the attachment and after multiple attempts the head swell was diminished. When it got uncomfortable I shut it down to avoid injury, should go better tomorrow.

Today is my first scheduled afternoon off so will be able to workout 4 times this week and with the better weather I’m adding an after dinner short walk. I’m going to shoot for 35 miles a month, basically try to burn a pound a month from walking.

That colleague of mine confided that his had been a sexless marriage for a very long time, I’m going to make intimacy a bigger priority, starting today!!! IMO it’s a destructive thing in a man’s life to let that slide.

Morning weight: 188.8

Where are you walking?

I started off using the treadmill and indoor track at the gym since it was winter, but as it has warmed up I found the city has an outdoor track and a couple of paved walking trails in parks. Gym Buddy and I have walked those, and some in an adjacent town, which has an extensive mesh of paved woods trails.

Yeah, it’s a short drive, but better than dealing with crazed drivers and feral dogs in my neighborhood.

3/13/2024

84 @ 60 minutes

2.5 minutes lower to down position
5 minutes reset attachment to gain forward position
7.5 add 12 half turns
10 add 12
12.5 add 12
15 add 12
17.5 add 12
17.5 add Total Man heat pad high
20 add 12
22.5 add 12
33.5 Low heat
53.5 heat off
60 end

This went well could have gone higher on the tension but wanted to get the duration for sure. This has been very choppy but there’s a lot going on to navigate with weight and hydration levels and sleep and recovery. See if we can get on track now.

Weather has not been accommodating lately, so yesterday I did an 11.6 mile run/walk took just under two and a half hours. Feel pretty wrecked today but that will get me back on track once I recover.

Weight dropped but you can’t go by that because restoring the glycogen takes some days and that will pull water.

Going to hit the gym today, it’s a pull day and we’ll go for an hour and a half. Being able to work out 4 days in a week is huge.

Meeting with my colleague later, I just want to be mindful of what I say, because I really feel that society has fucked up women and their posture towards men and maybe that would be too much for him to hear right now. Hell he knows, he experienced it that’s why he’s where he’s at. I’ll just see what he needs from me.

Couple blocks from my home there’s a park and through that there’s a trail along a creek that brings me back home. It’s only 1-3/8 of a mile but I like that it’s just easy to tuck in after dinner. There’s just no excuse to not grab that if the weather is good. And 35 miles over the course of a month that’s a pound with not much effort.